I'm writing this review barely an hour after having Infinite Wealth. Normally I'd wait a bit and let it sit in my mind as I try to pick it apart, and I know I'll realise that the edges are rougher, I know that...but right now I want my memory of this to remain as untainted as possible. I know that sometime in the future I'll look at this review with tainted eyes, cringing at my self but I want to write this right now so I can look back and see that I genuinely loved this game deeply.

It took nine whole games to get here, and I'm at the end of it with my emotions being a complete mess. It takes so much hard work to sell a character, much less the same one around eight times over, and each time I've fallen in love deeply with Kiryu Kazuma all over again.

"They all treat you as if you're some hero. If we ended up just like you...the illusions of the yakuza life would be stronger than ever."

Piece by piece for eight whole games, we've been building up the legend of the Dragon of Dojima alongside him. Every admiration thrown towards Kiryu doesn't feel like just cheap talk, it feels earned because you yourself earned it.

Infinite Wealth isn't an erasure of every misstep this franchise has taken, it doesn't hide it but instead puts it on full display, it shows just how much you have impacted the world around you for so long to the point where at the end of Kiryu's life, the only question that remains was "Was it worth it? Was it a life worth living?"

It's hard having the courage to do something. It's even harder to be the one to give that courage to others but this common trait, this link that runs deeper than the dragons on their backs, is exactly why Infinite Wealth isn't just talk. You've seen that exact event take place time and time again, and now all that remains is the end of Yakuza as you know it. It asks you to be brave and head towards an unfamiliar future, and let the burdens of the past be a weight on your shoulders no more.

I wish I had something more meaningful to say, and in the future I probably will, but I want a record of my feelings as they are now. A public if not embarrassing declaration of my utmost love for this entry in the series, guess I'm taking a page out of Ichiban's book in doing this. Not that it matters, I think we can all benefit by being a bit more like Ichiban Kasuga.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

It is February 2022. I don’t remember the date. I’m sitting in my living room at midnight. I’m scrolling through twitter.
Nothing better to do with my time.

I see my friend, Rom, on the timeline talking about a game he really enjoys.
Tsukihime.
Game? That’s not quite right—it’s a visual novel. Up until this point the only one’s I’ve played are a handful of Ace Attorney games and the main entries in the Danganronpa series, but I see them more as games than visual novels in my eyes. I’m not particularly enticed by the screenshots of Tsukihime that I see either… I don’t read much and I don’t know if I could handle 50 hours of just that.

But even so, I’m find myself being pulled towards it…like a lost relic from the past, I’m nostalgic for it without a reason to be so, it might just be that I’ve played a lot of Melty Blood the year prior without any care for where these characters originated from but this feeling scratches away at my mind like a dog with my curiosity being the only driving factor. I do not understand.
—I cave.

𝗧𝗦𝗨𝗞𝗜𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗘
—Suddenly, I awaken with a start.
I can’t remember much from my reaction to the beginning, other than that I only experienced the first three hours before going to sleep, expecting myself to continue the next day. I didn’t.
A few months later, I find myself isolated. I can’t talk to my friends, I can’t do much of anything except waste my time playing video games. Still, it’s not all bad. This allows me to overcome some games on my backlog.
A voice in my head nags at me. Begging me to come back, come back to Tsukihime. Before I know it, I find myself on the title screen again. Over the course of the next two days, I find myself enthralled by the game, especially by Arcueid Brunestud. I wouldn’t call myself a “milkman” in any capacity…but something about this particular white woman puts her apart from the rest of the cast.

I meet her in the street. It’s my first contact with her.
It’s my worst contact with her.
Yet she still takes a chance on Shiki, and he takes a chance on her. They’re each other's polar opposites but incredibly similar too. They’re both beings haunted by a sin they committed as they try to atone for it. Their sins are pulling them toward each other, and it’s ultimately their sins that are tearing them apart. A love burns in Shiki’s heart that’s only matched by his murderous rage, both birthed out of the same place. He can’t let go.
A few days go by and I’m at the end. Shiki stares at the orange sky, I stare at my laptop screen. Both of us are waiting, waiting for a chance to meet her again and yet that feeling is what we ultimately must let go off.
The credits start rolling. There’s not a single tear in my eye…yet I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way at something before. I promise myself that I will finish this VN soon. The first of many lies.
On the 18th of April, 2022 at 12:02 am, I finish Arcueid’s route.

𝗗𝗔𝗬𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗕𝗟𝗨𝗘
I close my laptop after that ending. I’m excited. I don’t think I’ve been invested in something this much in a while. I promise myself that I’ll start reading the next route tomorrow. This too, of course, is a lie.
I feel like it should be put into perspective just how much I had changed when I picked up Tsukihime again. I’d finished The Silver Case and with it I felt like a whole new world had been opened to me, a different way of viewing art itself. I feel like it was made for me on every level and it showed me where the true strength of a visual novel medium lies. Surely nothing else will ever make me feel this way, right?

—I’m in a familiar place. I’m isolated again. I’ve got nothing to do, nobody to talk to. Slowly, I feel an urge come over me. I’ve been here before, I know what to do. I find myself on the title screen again.

This music…I realized it before but this track really is beautiful. As limited and repetitive as Tsukihime’s tracks can get at times, I still love the sound. The repetition of the tracks is something I can grow accustomed to.
The same can’t be said for the narrative.
A few hours into the Ciel route and I’m still clicking away most of what I read. I’ve read all this before, seen all this before. It’s not unpleasant to go through this once more, but I really feel this is holding Ciel back as a character. I don’t think she’s being given ample time to develop her. I’m at the halfway point now, I think. I can’t tell when the Arcueid route ends and the Ciel route begins, but I think I made it.
Now that I think about it, each heroine is a character that lives and dies depending on their relationship with Shiki so what exactly is going on? Am I not near the end? Why is it still-

THUMP
—My heart throbs. I realise it.
This isn’t a mistake. This is a love triangle.
Frustrated. I’m frustrated. The more I read the more my suspicions just get confirmed. “Show don’t tell” is the rule isn’t it? Then why are scenes, ones that can be moving and impactful, traded away for a quick explanation of how each other is feeling? This is crazy, I’m crazy. I’m complaining about exposition dumps in a story filled to the brim with them. But I can’t help but feel this is where it’s most egregious.
What I’m reading…it’s something about perspective. Not only just in the routes, but bit by bit you uncover more of these characters, things you aren’t told in the other routes, and the two Near Side routes are a perfect showcase of that. Ciel is someone who’s able to stand on her own, apart from Arcueid, as a character. Yet she still parallels Shiki’s descent. So it’s frustrating. Frustrating that the relationship between these two feels so underdeveloped.
These thoughts keep churning in my head. At the forefront of my mind, while I keep on reading. I’m at the end now, the end of this journey. I’ve been critical of this whole route…so why does it make me feel this way? Is it some kind of Stockholm Syndrome? Am I just easily won over by lazy writing?

Shiki opens his eyes and Ciel’s teardrops fall. I smile.
On the 8th of January, 2023 at 1:08 am, I finish Ciel’s route.

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗠 𝗔𝗙𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗡𝗢𝗢𝗡 𝗡𝗔𝗣
I close my laptop. I lie to myself again. It’s become a ritual now.

—It’s March. Hell is right around the corner for me. I don’t care. I don’t want anything to do with it. I refuse. I utterly refuse to care what life is throwing at me. Truth be told I don’t even think of it. To escape my hell, I decide to dip my toes into another one.
Truth be told, I knew what I was getting into with this route. It’s simple when I think about it. This is a game where in each route you have a heroine that you get into a romantic relationship with, so it’s not too far-fetched to assume this route will do the same. Only problem is that the heroine is the Shiki’s sister.

I can handle “dark” subject matter, it’s not a question of whether or not I can stomach incest, it’s if this game handles it well. Either that…or it veers into the dangerous territory of “problematic”. I’ve always found discussions about problematic content interesting. Of course I think the elements that fall under that label shouldn’t be in media if they’re used to fetishize them but I can’t help but notice that a lot of the argument surrounding them centers on the fact of morality. That in a society as consumed by capitalism as ours the only way to have an identity, something with which we can recognize others, is by the content we inhale at a rapid pace. Where the only way we can tell others that we are inherently good is if we enjoy stuff that doesn’t have anything “problematic”.

—There’s someone out there who could probably make an essay of this topic, but this is a review on Backloggd and I’ve spent too much time thinking about this because I’m already at the big scene.

“I love you as my sister.” Shiki says.
I hold my breath. Time feels like it’s stopped. A spark ignites in my head, the synapses of my brain jolt back and forth. My eyes fixate on the screen. My hand hovers on the spacebar. Maybe it will be all right, maybe there is no incest. I have hope, but fear still has an iron grip on me. After what feels like an eternity, I close the gap between my finger and my keyboard.
“But… I love you as my sister even more.”
I close my eyes.
“It is fate.” I utter.
Nothing I can do besides accept it.

Fate. It’s only now I realise that fate lies at the heart of this route. I’m so close to the end but this is where this route has laid its soul bare. Are we all fated to end up this way? Or can we change that? Is Akiha is a product of nature and Shiki one of nurture? Can you even fight against yourself in that manner? Is a child who has been abused all his life destined to repeat that cycle of abuse, is that evil just in his nature? It took me too long to realise, and now it’s too late.
Under a blue sky, a girl cries and hugs a knife. The end credits start playing.

On the 3rd of March, 2023 at 1:04 pm, I finish Akiha’s route.

𝗠𝗜𝗗𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗠𝗢𝗢𝗡
—I lie again.

I have an idea. I’m eventually going to finish this visual novel one day, so why not make my review different for this one? Why not write in the style of Nasu’s prose?
Of course, I know how insane that sounds. I can’t compare to the real thing but I want to try anyway. It seems like a good way to challenge my writing capabilities.
The biggest hurdle right now is actually finishing this thing. I’m free now, so why don’t I finish Hisui’s route as soon as I can?

The first thing I notice is that this is a repeat of everything in the Akiha route for now. Mindless taps. Nothing but mindless taps.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
I’m in a dark room.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
I keep waiting.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
That rhythmic tap of the spacebar. I press it over and over and over. I feel like I’m going insane. But I can feel it, I’m so close. So close to finally getting to the new stuff but with each tap my patience keeps dwindling until there’s nothing left. Knots in my brain. Cold dead eyes. I stare at the screen.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Ta-

This is it. I’m here.
…
……
………!?
Is this a joke? I don’t understand.
The main scenario in this chapter is just Shiki going insane in a room. Just like I was. For a moment it feels like an unfortunate coincidence, something to point at and laugh but I can’t but feel like there’s something more. I have spent these past few months honing my backloggdian skills, becoming a better writer on the way.
No. My analytical skills tell me this is something more.
Yes. Kinoko Nasu did all this purpose. Yes. Kinoko Nasu is that much of a genius.
I clasp my hands in a prayer. Blessed I am to be reading this visual novel. I can only marvel at this man’s sheer writing power. With this one route, I am not “just like” Shiki Tohno. I have become him.

But I’m ignoring something, aren’t I?
Hisui’s doll-like expressions, calm demeanor, and general aloofness is something I’ve grown accustomed to by now. So seeing it break doesn’t feel like the conclusion of a character arc, it feels like a porcelain doll shattering. It’s messy. Every time I look at her I see nothing, besides someone so hellbent on protecting oneself by any means necessary. Even if it means not rejecting your own humanity.

I’m underneath a tree. Clear blue sky. I listen to her.
My heart shatters.

On the 4th of October, 2023 at 11:08am, I finish Hisui’s route.

𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠𝗦 𝗢𝗙 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗘
I’m done lying.

—Perspective.
It lies at the heart of Tsukihime. A subtle change in how you perceive an event can lead to a radically different outcome. For a story that’s written with this theme at heart, I can only expect the final route to be a culmination of everything I’ve come to know so far.

But with each clicking sound on my keyboard, I just feel my opinions lowering. Is this…really it? I didn’t expect a grand finale but most of what I’ve seen so far is just a rehash of the Hisui route, and not in a good way. I can almost taste the laziness through the screen.
I don’t know if I’m disappointed or something else. In a way, I can’t say this is surprising. But regardless, everything feels so rushed. It’s almost tragic to see a narrative failing its most interesting character.
—Hate.
Everything in this house is built on hate. A carefully constructed façade through and through. If you didn’t know, you could have never even guessed, and the more I play the more I become convinced that everything would’ve turned out this way, sooner or later.

I keep pressing the spacebar. Of course, now I’m long past the point of divergence with the Hisui route as well. Coming face to face with what the route has to offer and I can’t help but feel an ache in my heart, coupled with a smirk on my face. I ache for what suffering took place but my smirk isn’t a sign of a critique of the game. I think.
In a lot of ways, Kohaku’s route sort of mirrors Akiha’s route as well. “Can a doll be fixed?” being the main question here. When do you stop believing in a person, when do you give up? For a person as pigheaded as Shiki Tohno, the answer is obvious. Of course I smirk, if only Akiha route’s Shiki could see what this one has to say about incest.
I come closer and closer to the finish line. The only thing I can hope for is a happy ending, and I got a rushed one.

On the 8th of October, 2023 at 11:26pm, I finish Kohaku’s route.

𝗘𝗖𝗟𝗜𝗣𝗦𝗘
—I’m finally here, aren’t I?
Text pops up on the screen, my eyes carefully examine every single line. I don’t know what I’m looking for. Maybe a more meaningful understanding of everything so I can tell myself that it was worth it. Maybe I don’t want it to end.
With each tap, with each clicking sound, I read more and more of the final words this product has to offer. Maybe it’s a form of Stockholm Syndrome, but despite its faults, I think this visual novel won me over.
What am I saying? Stockholm Syndrome isn’t even real.
Even now as I sit here months later, way past the due date on this review, I think back to it. My first experience opening Tsukihime and meeting her, along with my last.
I can only hope that I captured even a little bit of what makes Nasu’s writing so captivating to read, but even I can acknowledge that this is nothing more than a pale imitation. Although…don’t we all try to imitate a little bit of everything that we see?

When it comes to what I’ll imitate besides this…well…
The way I look at it, every single person touched by Shiki is due to his love. His decision to pay back that small bit of kindness he received when he was very little. We are all surrounded by kind people aren’t we? So why do we hurt the ones we love the most?
You may call this unrelated rambling. I call it a clever way of imitating Nasu’s tendency to go on tangents.

At the end of the day, I have nothing more than the memories I received. It doesn’t matter if they’re positive or not, I’m just glad to have them. I know that even they will twist, even they will fade. But I don’t care.

—The lunar eclipse is far away.
So I let go.
You go ahead and pass through your remaining time.
I’ll pass through mine.
Thank you, for everything.

"Are you ready for the sexualising minors in your story lesson?"

Kazutaka Kodaka gulped.

Katsura Hashino nodded.

Nisio Isin blinked nervously.

"Yes, Gen Urobuchi" they said in unison.

𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘, 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓.


There's a cheapness in the thrill of being on the verge of death. Risking something as valuable as life itself just to get a kick out of it is really the dumbest thing a human can do; then why is that an hour in I was feeling that exact same rush? In the cold comfort of it being fictional, having my heart pound with excitement as I put these people in harm’s way, there’s nothing quite like it.

The thing about Your Turn To Die is that the premise in of itself isn’t really unique. Completely ignoring the obvious comparisons one could make to that one video game franchise with the talking bear, “death game” as a genre is something that’s existed long before many of us were even alive. That is exactly how this game deceives you, making you think that what you’re about to experience is a by-the-numbers tale you’ve experienced many times before; but to chalk up Your Turn to Die as that is to box it in a cage that’s completely ignorant of the bigger picture. Because underneath this game’s bleak atmosphere is a tale of the exploration of the human condition, as it’s seeking an answer for why we do the things we do by putting us on the cusp of death. In a way, it's exactly what you've come to expect from experiencing the contemporaries of this sub-genre yet that's why this game works as well as it does, why it's willing to go the extra mile.

The level of deception this game operates on isn’t just something that exists in regards to the way of how it presents itself to the player or the narrative in of itself, it extends to game mechanics themselves. Whereas one could see the way every choice in Chapter 1 being inconsequential as cheap, I view it as a mockery of your abilities. To fully make you realise just how out of your depth you are here, which only serves to make the later chapters hit as hard as they do due to the newfound resolve you earn at the end of Chapter 1 earns you the right to change the course of the game both narratively and mechanically. It’s character development in the truest sense, where the effects are felt in also how you play the game, as second guessing becomes natural for you; it's not out of need to survive yet due to a want to protect those you hold closest to you, even if it means not having complete faith in them.

The character of Sara Chidouin in many ways feels combative against many other protagonists who’ve been placed in similar situations to her. It’s the same old tale of heroism, morality and hope. Trying to be an example even in the roughest of times yet Chidouin is deeply human. “I don’t want to die” is understandable sure, but sprouting up the same old message about “truth” seems to feel redundant when it’s going to deeply hurt the ones you care for. This is why Keiji Shinogi works so well with her, easy to see him as this game’s stand-in for a Maya Fey archetype, a policeman who can’t even hold a gun, but here the effectiveness of these two depends solely upon how much trust they place in each other. Their trust weaponizes itself, as it takes Sara being the finger and Keiji ironically being the gun in their dynamic to let them move past any difficulty they may face, and they may have faced, letting them grow with each passing argument. With the arguments themselves being mechanically comparable to the trial segments in Ace Attorney. While not as complex or difficult, it sets itself apart with it’s own mechanics, trying to bite further down into your mind as it makes every line thrilling. It’s exactly what the character of Sara Chidouin would do, and that’s what sets this apart from the rest. That every lie, misinformation, contradiction and even truth the itself is irrelevant; it’s completely irrelevant if she can’t even save one life.

Your Turn To Die breaks down those concepts of heroism, morality and hope I mentioned, but not out of cynicism. It goes to greats lengths to reconstruct them from the ground up; showing why such childishness and stubbornness is necessary for you to keep moving forward. Everyone’s got a reason to live and with each passing trial you have to wonder if death would be preferable, if it’d be better if you died in their place to make sure your hands stay clean, but thoughts like that are irrelevant. You still live, you still breathe, you still eat, you still sleep, so what’s the harm in living in another day?

It’s not Your Turn To Die. Not yet.

Signalis is a game which constantly leaves you with a want for something more, glimpses of beautiful warmth through its eternally stunning style mesmerise us into wanting more and more but after eternity we are left with nothing. The game and its story all exist through the lenses of homages, influences and references, all a parallel to characters who are nothing but memories of experiences they never lived and just as those characters mourn memories and lives that were never theirs we too become entrenched in a life we never lived, as tears flow and flow and we replay and relieve to find answers that will never ever come no matter how hard we look. And just as the characters, we are faced with the abominable challenge of loss and nothing more….

Please, just let me stay be your side a little longer.

Hello, my name is Dr. Glenn Pierce.

Superliminal is a game that's very dear to me, possibly my favorite puzzle game ever. I love almost everything about it, so much that I've gone out of my way to see just about everything the game has to offer. I found it a very worthwhile experience. I would easily recommend it to anybody.

The game is a feast for the eyes and ears. Almost every level in the game (I'm looking at you, Blackout.) has this unique style that uses these soft, pastel colors that easily contrasts with the dull, dimly lit back hallways of the dreams you explore and pairs with the wonderful piano music to create a calming vibe that lets you concentrate on solving puzzles. It's also funny as hell. Despite only having one actual person completely off screen and one computer voice, Superliminal has a lot of jokes that, along with some of the absolute mindfucks that the puzzles give you, will at the very least get a little smirk or nose exhale out of anybody. Let me tell you, that guy really is named Dr. Glenn Pierce.

The puzzles are amazing too. The gist of the game is that objects are resized to how large they appear to be based on how close they are when you pick them up. Basically, imagine if you didn't have depth perception and you picked something up, turned around, set it down, and suddenly it reached the ceiling or was as small as a fly. Not only will they require you to challenge how you approach puzzle solving as a whole, but there's plenty of little changes to the world around you and tons of visual gags that make great use of the central mechanic. On top of all that, there are tons of little secrets and collectibles that can easily warrant multiple trips through this therapeutic wonderland.

Despite being only an hour long, the game is packed full of meaning. Through the main mechanic that leaves you forgetting there were limits to your thinking, the reoccurring motif of chess, a game that requires you to consider every possible move and rewards unconventional ways of thinking, the many mindfucks the game will throw at you, the contrast between the warm and fuzzy puzzle rooms and the dim service hallways with nothing to pick up or do and the dichotomy between the hopeful Dr. Glenn Pierce and pessimistic, strict robotic voice, the game effortlessly and flawlessly delivers the main message it likes to scrawl all across the levels.

Perception is reality.

The other day I heard someone describe how Devil May Cry 4's ending became a really somber moment for them. This confused me but after thinking about it some more I understand it if you were a DMC fan. You had to be disappointed by DMC4's lackluster quality, and whatever the hell DmC was, as a franchise you loved was put on ice. That "will we meet again?" at the end of DMC4 really becomes something more as I keep thinking about it. The feeling of uncertainty if there will ever be a new entry again, and if it will even be good.

11 years later, and they delivered.

That's what's always going to be the most amazing thing about DMC5. That it is Devil May Cry 5. A new entry that's as Devil May Cry as they come. It picks up on the pieces from DMC4 and builds upon everything to deliver such an enjoyable and unforgettable experience that left me smiling.

Nero is back and he continues his arc from 4. His gameplay has been slightly retooled as in place of Devil Bringer he's given Devil Breakers which adds a pretty big amount of freedom in combat. I kept finding myself experimenting with new Devil Breakers as much as I could.

Dante...hnghrgh~
He's nothing to scoff at either. Man he plays so well in this game that I squealed like a twink bouncing on dick at his gameplay. If I'm honest Dante can be very overwhelming due to the fact that you're given a lot of options regarding how you want to play it but once you get it down he's a god.

There's also the newcomer, V. I didn't know if I'd like V, but after beating the game I can say I really enjoyed his characterization as well as his gameplay. When it comes to my group of friends I'm in a very weird position with V as I neither wholly love him nor do I find his sections boring. It really is commendable that V is a very large departure from the usual Devil May Cry gameplay yet he still ends up being a great deal of fun. Although it really should be addressed that on a whole, V is pretty easy. The problem with V just comes down to there being a lack of skill when it comes to his sections at his part as without even trying I was hitting SS ranks easily. I'm not gonna say that a character of his playstyle doesn't belong in DMC as that'd just be wrong, but I would really love to see if they ever build on a character that plays like him if they ever make a DMC6.

Level Design is where I'm left confused on the game. The levels are indeed fun but something I realised very early on us that a large portion of them are missing the puzzles you'd find in earlier DMC games. Do I like this change? Well I can't say I dislike it but I do think it can take out the uniqueness of levels, although I can't say I much enjoyed the puzzles I encountered in DMC3 and 4 that much. If I had to guess I think this was done so the game would be accessible to newer players

In my DMC4 review, I talked about how that game lacked a strong atmosphere of earlier DMC titled and has aged the worst graphically in my eyes. DMC5 fixed this for the most part, the levels really are pretty immersive to the point where I could almost feel the cool morning breeze of Redgrave City, but I can't say it's as strong as earlier DMC titles. Also it remain to be seen if this game ages graphically as much as DMC4, but I don't think it will if I'm honest.

Did I talk about the story yet? The story really rocks I can't lie. Narratives haven't been this franchise's strong suit but I will admit I never minded that as it really was apparent that it was not one of the core focuses of the franchise. DMC3 relies on a lot of subtext and symbolism for its narrative which I've spent a lot of time analysing but I can't say I was ever moved by it or fell in love with it but I can appreciate what was there. DMC5 on the surface isn't much different as its still a pretty fun action story yet there's a greater deal placed on the narrative this time, and while yes the later section can feel a bit contrived I really do like it. I love the fact that they didn't toss DMC4 aside and continued Nero's story. I love the fact that the game acknowledges the series history to the point where it's pulling in references from the DMC anime and even fucking DmC of all things. What a wild ride.

Oh yeah, this is the Special Edition so there's also Vergil's campaign which I played through. Gameplay wise, Vergil's very fun but he's also pretty easy, not as easy as V I'd argue but I don't really mind it as his campaign is something you play after the game has finished and I don't think it's a big deal to have an OP character as post game content. Something I should address about Vergil. He's hot as fuck. I've battled with the feeling of whether I want to FUCK Vergil or be FUCKED by him. Knowing Vergil you'd assume that he would refuse to bottom and obviously choose the latter, right? Well, I disagree. Reader, have you ever heard of the term "power bottom"? I heard it the other day. I don't fucking know what it means but I assume it has something to do with sex, and it has power in the name. Power... Vergil loves power...yes please bust this twink down NOW.
Oh yeah also Mission 20 as Vergil is the coolest thing ever lmao

There's a bunch of shit that I didn't get the chance to talk but I don't wanna drag out this review for much longer. I really do feel confident that this might be the greatest action game ever made and I tip my hat to Itsuno and his team for giving it their all. Playing this game made me wanna replay the franchise all over again and I'm sure I'll revisit this game countless time over the years, slowly trying to master it to the best of my ability. Until then, goodbye Devil May Cry. It's been a blast.

"I'm going to fucking kill myself" were the words I found myself uttering over and over while I played this game.

Coming off of the third game you'd expect Devil May Cry 4 to be much better than it is. Enter NERO. Moody and arrogant, in essence he is HIM. You know I had a really funny joke regarding Nero but it's too funny and I'm absurdly proud of it so I'm going to save it for later and don't you fucking dare say that it probably wasn't gonna be funny it absolutely fucking is everyone I've told it to has laughed at it fuck you. Anyways this kind of thing is exactly what DMC4, it set ups tons of things which make you feel like this will be "peak peak goatly goat raw fire", you kill demons in the first level that banger of a soundtrack comes in and you are getting into the grove of playing as Nero and just when you've had enough of the foreplay the game rips your nuts apart by having dogshit level design and enemies which range from mediocre to annoying

Devil Bringer is really something I felt was missing in DMC3, a way to bridge the gap between you and the enemies outside of mashing Stinger. The game is smart with it as almost every enemy in the game feels like they're designed with Devil Bringer in mind, right down to the bosses. Speaking of which, how are they bosses? Well they start off all right and it all goes downhill when I got to Mission 6 and went "oh my god this is so dogshit". Agnus can SHOVE those fucking swords UP HIS ASSHOLE and fiddle them around like a fucking DILDO and I hope that he doesn't have a G-spot cause my god that fucking FUCK does not deserve any form of pleasure. Then in the last 8 missions they start fucking reusing bosses like crazy to the point where the second final/final boss (depending on who you ask) is just a fucking beefier version of a boss you've fought before and they made said boss even MORE dog shit fuck your fucking BUBBLES fuck YOU.

Right when you get the hang of Nero the game throws you a curve ball and gives you control of Dante and baby? This was the best Dante yet, gameplay wise. "YEEESSSS BRO YESS 😍🥰🥵" was my reaction once I remembered how to play Dante. I should add that I didn't buy this game myself to play it but got it from a friend, and I noticed that she had bought souls with real world money, so I had an abundance of souls at the beginning which I spent into upgrading myself. In hindsight I'm kind of grateful for it as it gave me the chance to get my bearings in the game without being overwhelmed but when I got to Dante's section I was running low on souls. Fuck you Angela could you have seriously not bought MORE??? WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR THE LAST FUCKING HALF OF THE GAME?? PLAY IT NORMALLY? Fuck you it costs like 2 fucking pounds, are you really THAT broke???? And don't you dare act like you don't have 2 pounds, I am the poor broke boy from a third world country, NOT you. So please sell that fucking Nando's gift card already and give ME the fucking money you are fucking RUINING my gaming experience.

Remember how I said how each enemy was designed with Nero in mind? Well that comes back to bite this game in the ass when you play as Dante cause it's something that becomes really apparent especially when you start to fight old bosses again. Don't worry my DEAR reader, I didn't do a gamer rage moment and throw my controller. No, I'm a civilised man. I just beat the shit out of cardboard boxes like a REAL man cause this game is for REAL men like me and nobody should dare challenge me on that fucking front.

Level design and atmosphere is something that's also worse in this game. As bad as DMC2 is I will at least admit that due to the fact it reused a lot of shit from DMC1, it remained just as atmospheric. DMC3 was also really atmospheric! And I know DMC4 came out during the height of ugly brown Unreal Engine 3 games but goddamn does this game not hold up as well graphically as 1 and 3. I could really go on about how shit some of the puzzles in these levels are like holy fuck DICE WOO DICE it's fucking YAHTZEE ALL OVER AGAIN but I feel like I'd add nothing to the discussion except dry humping a limp corpse while I go "what's up my fellow Devil May Cry-ers I am also on the team".

Now we come to the story and there's really nothing much to be said. I don't CARE about old dude, I DON'T care about evil scientist, I don't CARE about the fact the girl who has 3 minutes of screentime. Nero aside, all new characters are a bust and even old characters take a hit. Still, I fucking laughed out loud when Dante used Royal Guard in his boss fight. Although, there is one new character I'd like to talk about...Gloria.

Let me start off by saying that, as you may have surmised, me and "sex" don't have the best of relations. I never had sex-ed in school, I didn't know what a "clit" was until I was 16, when a girl said that she'd make me her bitch I just replied with "woah cool", when a girl confessed to ME, I FUCKING RAN AWAY. So to have Gloria pop up and have my mind for the first time in a while go "Hmm while I usually don't find characters attractive this Gloria person is very pretty I hope she's good" is no easy feat. "Is this it?" I wondered. Like Nero, did I finally awaken a demon inside me, but instead of being a cool fucking arm that can grab things, the demon inside me is called "sex drive". Maybe I could finally give this sex thing a shot, maybe I don't have to be scared of anything sexual, even while alone, anymore. In that moment, I got Nero, I became him. I looked at my hand like it was Devil Bringer as I wondered if I should give this "jacking off thing" a go. Is this a new chapter for me, Quade Pad? Did Devil May Cry 4...change my life? As I slowly came to terms with this new side of me, it all came crashing down via the fucking costume select screen where I got spoiled on Gloria's true identity and oh my god jokes aside I laughed so fucking hard. Which made me realise a new truth.

"White women are mid"
Thank you Devil May Cry 4, for opening my eyes and changing my life.

The final mission pretty much cemented my view of the game. Truth be told I'm going through a rough patch in my life at the moment, and during these trying times where I've distanced myself as much as possible from everyone who loves me, I'm playing one of the worst boss fights I've ever seen in a video game. FUCK that boss FUCK you FUCK Dante FUCK old men FUCK statues FUCK everything FUCK me and Dante WILL WE FUCK AGAIN?

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to kill myself and this review is my last mark on this world. Also it's my birthday! Please say "Happy Birthday Quade!" in the replies. It'd really make me feel better! Cheers and god bless Devil May Cry. I will see you next time.