It's fucking good.

This game starts with a Planet Terror-style scene of a stripper with a gun pole dancing.

Also, the soundtrack is straight fire.

They met as adversaries.

Isaac Washington is the coolest name.

The game just takes your ass and throws you right in there.

"Varla Guns. A voluptuous vixen vowing violent vengeance."

Isaac and G is the greatest duo in video game history. I don't remember laughing this much while playing a game ever before.

It's motherfucking good.

Actually very cool. It's a very unique game. What other horror franchise has a video game this dedicated? Dedicated to the tone, and the aesthetic, and the world frankly.

I love how it kind of leaves you to figure shit out on your own. It makes it much more anxious and stressful.

But the combat is absolutely horrid. Which I guess adds to the feeling of helplessness and anxiety over the chance of dying as soon as you see another human being, but it really is absolutely horrid.

I like the concept of the different people trapped, like the wife of Detective Sing, and the guy who coined the Jigsaw name, and a guy who wants to be tested by Jigsaw. I wish they were a bit closer together, though, and I sort of wish you could lose.

And I really like the puzzles.

I absolutely love the ending.

I've played the first act so many times since I got this game. I just never had the enthusiasm to continue playing. But I finally did, and everything past that first act is pretty awesome.

The combat can get tedious, but once you get into it, you start feeling it more.

I also really love how the ending has those little things where you get rewarded with little story nuggets for the optional objectives.

I fucking love first-person shooters where you can't aim down sight. That's not ironic. I love it.

I remember the reveal of how you switch characters really blowing my mind when I first played it. It still kinda does. It's such a unique way to go about the game mechanic in a way that intertwines with the story.

I love the unique characteristics of the characters, even outside of the fact that they all have completely unique weapons.

I love that the player sees them by their last names, but they call each other by their first names.

And they don't really explain anything about the characters either. You sort of just have to figure shit out through context clues in dialogue.

I love Abbey. She's probably my favorite telekinetic lesbian sniper.

I love Church, she's my favorite, but her Blood Ward power is so 50/50. It's really good, but you'll die in the process because you can only put it right where you stand, so you have to get up close with the enemy and then do the whole animation.

It can also be very unclear where you're supposed to go.

And the game as a whole is pretty unclear. I didn't even understand that we had been transported to the Second World War until we were on our way out and to the Middle Ages.

And it didn't really hinder my love for the game, but the frame rate on the PS3 version really is laughable sometimes.

I love this whole game, and it's awesome and so cool. It's such a unique experience. The aesthetic and the world is so much fun.

Oh, and I am so pissed they never made the sequel 'cause that ending boils my blood.

"I'm guessing that dress will cause a few of them."

Yoooo!

What?!

I can move around and shit!

There are combos and shit!

The combat in general is just so fucking sick now.

The dismemberment is awesome.

The blood is awesome.

The sex appeal is awesome.

The combat, and the way it's so immediately superior to the first game's combat, is awesome.

I love how sometimes you'll slice someone's leg off and they'll hop around on the other for a bit or crawl on the floor.

I love the new traversal system. You swing on poles and slide down railings and shit.

The pre-rendered cutscenes are just as awesome as in the first game.

"Dhampir go down just like anybody else."
"Aw, not just like anybody else."

But it definitely feels more PS2 than PC in that it loses the charm that the first game had. And in that the graphics are kind of...worse? Less detailed. I think it's especially apparent when the characters speak.

The art direction might be better, but the execution isn't. It's solid, but it's not better.

Ironically, despite the new combat, this feels way more repetitive and tedious. At least towards the end when the enemies become more annoying. Maybe it's because of the abundance of bosses.

People say that this one is easier than the first, and they're clearly out of their minds.

It's sort of the opposite of the first. Everything points to this one being the superior game, with less tedious combat, but it's not. Maybe there just was something to the first game's simplicity.

This is still fucking awesome, though. I could probably play the mansion over and over again.

I love Rayne! This is more Rayne.

"The master can blow me."

"I'm guessing that dress will cause a few of them."

Yoooo!

What?!

I can move around and shit!

There are combos and shit!

The combat in general is just so fucking sick now.

The dismemberment is awesome.

The blood is awesome.

The sex appeal is awesome.

The combat, and the way it's so immediately superior to the first game's combat, is awesome.

I love how sometimes you'll slice someone's leg off and they'll hop around on the other for a bit or crawl on the floor.

I love the new traversal system. You swing on poles and slide down railings and shit.

The pre-rendered cutscenes are just as awesome as in the first game.

"Dhampir go down just like anybody else."
"Aw, not just like anybody else."

But it definitely feels more PS2 than PC in that it loses the charm that the first game had. And in that the graphics are kind of...worse? Less detailed. I think it's especially apparent when the characters speak.

The art direction might be better, but the execution isn't. It's solid, but it's not better.

Ironically, despite the new combat, this feels way more repetitive and tedious. At least towards the end when the enemies become more annoying. Maybe it's because of the abundance of bosses.

People say that this one is easier than the first, and they're clearly out of their minds.

It's sort of the opposite of the first. Everything points to this one being the superior game, with less tedious combat, but it's not. Maybe there just was something to the first game's simplicity.

This is still fucking awesome, though. I could probably play the mansion over and over again.

I love Rayne! This is more Rayne.

"The master can blow me."

The jiggle physics are insane.

So is this costume design.

I love how the lines Rayne say when discovering things you need to puzzle for are different depending on what other stuff you've discovered.

I actually didn't expect there to be curse words in this so when Rayne said "What the fuck?" I actually just reacted by blurting out "What the fuck?"

Everyone's favorite butcher.

And the pre-rendered cutscenes are absolutely sick.

But if I've ever witnessed an unfair final boss fight, this is it.

The thing is, this gameplay, technically, should be boring and tedious. There's one melee button, and one firearm button. That's it. And there are no combos or anything like that. Two buttons. There's no variety in how to approach enemies other than some don't shoot, and some block. It should be boring.

But the world, and the enemies, and the characters, and especially Rayne herself, are so full of energy. Rayne is just such a good character and she invigorates the whole game. Both in her voice (which Laura Bailey masterfully contributes) and her animations.

I love Rayne!

"Thanks for the ride, fucko."

The jiggle physics are insane.

So is this costume design.

I love how the lines Rayne say when discovering things you need to puzzle for are different depending on what other stuff you've discovered.

I actually didn't expect there to be curse words in this so when Rayne said "What the fuck?" I actually just reacted by blurting out "What the fuck?"

Everyone's favorite butcher.

And the pre-rendered cutscenes are absolutely sick.

But if I've ever witnessed an unfair final boss fight, this is it.

The thing is, this gameplay, technically, should be boring and tedious. There's one melee button, and one firearm button. That's it. And there are no combos or anything like that. Two buttons. There's no variety in how to approach enemies other than some don't shoot, and some block. It should be boring.

But the world, and the enemies, and the characters, and especially Rayne herself, are so full of energy. Rayne is just such a good character and she invigorates the whole game. Both in her voice (which Laura Bailey masterfully contributes) and her animations.

I love Rayne!

"Thanks for the ride, fucko."

Star Wars has such potential in this era of video game storytelling, and these guys saw it.

And the era of video games in general.

The lightsaber combat is so satisfying. The most satisfying it's ever been. The style and dynamic flow of it is just so good. Feels less like attacks in a video game that you repeat, and more like one continuous series.

I don't necessarily want Dark Souls in my games, but the victories in this game are so satisfying.

And it's pretty gorgeous to look at too. The locations are pretty wild.

That Shyyyo flying scene is beautiful. And the double-bladed lightsaber cutscene after makes the child in me jump with glee.

And I love the simple, but great, lightsaber analogy. How Jaro's lightsaber hilt is broken until Cal fully reconnects with the force, and then he fixes the hilt. And then he uses both Jaro's and Cere's—his two teachers—hilts to make his own new one.

And BD-1 is a cute little guy. Fucker made me break down crying.

"But then this dark shadow came..."

And I obviously absolutely adore how they do Darth Vader. You just run through stormtroopers and other enemies by the end and feel like a god, and this guy just walks up and it's not even a boss fight. You just run. He's so incredible untouchable. The whole sequence is so phenomenal, you can feel the dread in his presence.

This is the second time I played this, and I remembered that BD-1 survives, but when Vader picked him up, I just had this instant in-the-moment fear, and I just shot up and yelled "No!" I think that was the first time where I've actually felt real fucking actual fear from Darth Vader, the fictional character. Like I was scared of him. Like, I had a second where I thought "Does he kill BD-1, and I just forgot?" and I hated him for it. He's a fictional character, and in that moment I hated him like he was real. That's how scared I was.

Incredible.

"A boy? Months of attacking imperial targets and Vader sends a boy to fight me?"

This is so fucking bad-ass.

Sam Witwer is so fucking cool. Truly a gift to the Star Wars universe.

I love how Darth Vader's body language really gets across how he is just like a child who the Emperor is like an evil step-father to. He hates him, but he also fears him enough to follow his commands.

I like that, during the mission summaries before you leave—the first one being right after the first fight with Kota—they play the music that plays when Anakin finds out that Shmi has been kidnapped in Attack of the Clones (and the main menu music for the Revenge of the Sith game), making a parallel between that moment and the fight with Kota, as the Attack of the Clones moment is the first catalyst for Anakin's turn to the dark side, and the fight with Kota is the first catalyst for Starkiller's turn to the light side.

But I hate how stunned you get when hit. The enemies will just lay in on you for 6 hits and you can't do anything.

And fighting Jedi is always fun. Unless it's that small fucker. That whole first scrapyard level should have been scrapped.

One thing I never loved about these games is that the dark side endings always had you kill Darth Vader. Fuck that.

And the Jedi Temple DLC mission may not be the best level ever, but I think they should have kept it in the main game. And I'm disappointed they cut the other three PS2/Wii exclusive levels.

I like the moment of Starkiller almost sort of kinda flirting with his master's daughter.

The Sith DLC's opening crawls is the coolest ways to start a Star Wars game DLC. And I love that Starkiller's Sith outfit has a bunch of lightsabers, like he collects them.

This game is so fucking insane, how was this ever considered canon?

"Just because there are two of you, don't assume you have the advantage."
I'm sorry, what? What did you just say?

There are few things as satisfying as just slicing through battle droids. Except maybe Jedi. Just plowing through the Jedi temple is the best. I need more Star Wars games where you fight through hordes of lightsaber wielders.

I love how intricate the combat system is. Especially for a movie game. The different characters even have somewhat different combos. It takes a while to get used to, but once you get there, and once you get some upgraded skills, it's a hoot. I love how the characters will sometimes, almost instinctively, just block some blaster bolts without you doing anything.

I love how the developers made some very cool imagery themselves in the non-movie cutscenes, like when Anakin's and Dooku's lightsabers clash in front of Palpatine like Luke's and Vader's in Return of the Jedi.

And I love how the main menu music is the music that plays when Anakin finds out about Shmi being kidnapped in Attack of the Clones. The first real turning point towards Vader. These people cared about this game.

They really went above and beyond.

They incorporated a—now pretty well known—multiplayer duel mode that kept me entertained for hours as a kid, and is still pretty fun today. Serra Keto is awesome.

Not only did they (for obvious movie–game reasons) create a bunch of segments of Anakin fighting through the Jedi temple that aren't in the film (probably my favorite part of the game)—they inserted segments a lot throughout the game, obviously, but it's never not warranted, and it's always based on either earlier concept art or architecture from the movie, or (as is with the Jedi temple) based on locations and characters you see in earlier films—but they also have bonus missions that don't specifically follow the movie at all which are few and short, but pretty awesome. Especially the New Hope duel.

They clearly had a blast making this game, and it rubs off on the player.

"Drugs. I sell hardcore drugs."

I haven't played this since it came out, and there are so many parts, the nice little moments, that I still remember like it was last week. Just permanently stuck in my head.

There are so many little details that work so well to fully immerse you in the experience. The little gestures and movements and motions the characters do mid-gameplay make them feel human. And stuff like when you look around while in the car at the start, and Sarah actually fully turns around and stuff.

Sarah is in it for such a short sequence, but her actress is so phenomenal, and everything about the sequence is so polished, that it's unforgettable, and leaves a lasting impact.

I love how Sarah dies while we, and Joel, aren't looking at her.

I do think people oversell how "revolutionary" of a piece of storytelling this game is, but it's still pretty revolutionary.

Some of the stuff done here, storytelling techniques and whatnot, I've only ever seen done in film. But there is some genuinely unique stuff, like that moment when Joel is getting ready to boost Ellie up, and she's sitting on the bench. I loved that.

I love how all four seasons have very distinct aesthetics.

And this game looks phenomenal on PS3. I mean, the level of detail is insane.

And video game hair really peaked with the PS3. After that, it was just downhill into separate-strand-physics.

The architecture and lighting is also absolutely superb. Even if you don't remember where you're supposed to go, or don't check the map, everything is built in a way that draws you towards the goal.

I can have pretty bad patience when it comes to shooters and survival games, but it's really satisfying to get past parts without ending up in major open combat. Even when you get into gunfights, it usually has such good architecture and A.I. that popping people off from a distance with a rifle, or landing arrows in their heads, is some of the most satisfying parts of the game.

And the ending is obviously just a gut punch (a good one). And probably one in the back of the head too (also a good one).

This is the coolest DLC I have ever played. By pretty far. Like, literally. This is the best DLC of all time.

And that's not just because I'm a huge Jack the Ripper guy, but the way this is executed and presented is so fucking beyond cool.

I adore how they didn't just treat this like another DLC, but clearly put so much effort and passion into it, and pretty much made it its own little game, and sequel to Syndicate.

But I wish they didn't still have cargo delivery side missions. Literally the worst side missions.

I think I'd even go as far as saying that this is more creative than the main game.

I really didn't expect them to go this hard. I expected a little thing—maybe more akin to the Dreadful Crimes—and with name-changes and everything, but no. They went hard.

They very clearly care so fucking much. And it pays off.

This is my favorite Assassin's Creed game.