Capcom are fucking idiots sometimes. They make DmC: Devil May Cry (not saying I don't love that game) because they want to switch things up and not make the same game again. But then they come in with Devil May Cry 5, and it's perfect. It's not the same thing again—they're switching it up—but they're still keeping it Devil May Cry. It feels different, but not in a bad way. In a different way.

Look at my boy. Look how he's grown. I swear, people were so furious when Nero was the protagonist of DMC4, but if DMC6 was announced tomorrow and Nero wasn't in it, they'd be pissed as fuck.

Story wise—at least for the first half—it's basically on par with the first game (that's a downgrade). It never really feels like you have a purpose, much more than the obvious world threat. The third one had Vergil and then Lady's dad, and the fourth one had Kyrie and then Nero, but this one doesn't really have that—or doesn't reveal to have that—until later in the game, so it kind of just feels like you're playing through the stages, aimlessly, for no reason. But you barely even notice because you're playing Devil May Cry 5 and so many other aspects of the game are running on seemingly infinite fumes, pummeling you with grade-A shit. The only real reason they give is that Nero is pissed at Dante for calling him "dead weight," so he has to prove him wrong, which is genius.

The art direction is a bit more chaotic, however, and I feel like things are a bit harder to see. It's like they went more Resident Evil 2 than they should have. This game just feels less real. Mostly because the terrain just isn't very inviting. Not as much as the other games, at least. It's just not interesting to look at. Especially inside the tree; everything looks the same, and it's not a good same, it's a bad same. It's an okay same. It's fine. But it's like if half of Devil May Cry 3 took place inside Leviathan.

And I don't like how Ebony and Ivory feel in this game.

Also, I despise Trish's hair. And I just don't love her character model.

V is absolutely awesome, but it was a masterpiece decision to allow us to play as him for the absolute least amount of time. He's a fantastic breather from the Nero/Dante action, but playing him for too long would get a bit tedious.

To me, this has the same glaring problem as DMC4. When you switch to Dante for the first time, the game becomes instantly less fun. As opposed to 4, however, once you get a bit into Dante's missions—and especially after you get Cavaliere—it becomes a blast again. Nero is still better, though.

But if I don't compare this to the other DMC games, this is the most insane and insanely cool video game.

This game is like, you know when you're playing Devil May Cry 3 or 4 and Dante or Nero does something really cool in a cutscene, but you can't actually do that in the game because, what, are you crazy? Well, here, you can just do that in the game.

Trish, did—did you... er... did you, like, get some...work done? Or something? You—you look good. You look...healthy.

Capcom horny era. Or Capcom extremely horny era.

Damn, bro. Dante is old.

Nero sucks. Until you realize you can pull enemies towards you, and then he rules. Honestly? In this game, he might be more fun to play than Dante. Just a little bit.

And his "From that day forth" speech gives me chills.

And I love the separate aesthetic that this game gets with a different—more Final Fantasy-like—protagonist that makes anime noises (I don't like anime; I like Nero).

Here's the thing: the Nero part of this story, and the way it's told, is very cool and inventive, but people just weren't ready for that in 2008. It's when you turn into Dante, and you have to go through the same parts you went through as Nero, that the game really just starts crawling a bit. Just a bit. I'm gonna be honest: up until the Dante part, this might be my favorite DMC game.

Next up, a Lady and Trish game, right? I mean, you said you didn't really want to make more traditional Devil May Cry games. So, let's not. A Nero solo game? Non-hack and slash Lady segments? Trish? ...Lucia? Right? Right??

WANNA KNOW THE NAME? DEVIL MAY CRY.

CAPCOM!!! 2005!!!!

How the fuck do you make Devil May Cry 2, and then go and make Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening?

Capcom coming in with the bomb-ass cutscenes. Some of my favorite cutscenes. Inspired my whole being.

People who play this game on Yellow are satan.

But why does the map system have to get worse with every game? I didn't even like how it was in the first one, but I'll gladly take that over this. Literally, the only mission where I even look at the map is the one where you're spinning the castle.

Man, you could start a whole cleaning business with all these sponges.

I do actually like the concept of the more straightforward nature of the level design with less backtracking. But why, in the unholy name of FUCK, would you remove the system that made the first Devil May Cry even worth remembering, let alone a classic and one of the best PS2 games of all time?

Also, why is this game just a boss rush?

Kind of insane that THIS is the only Devil May Cry game where they ask you to play a second campaign. Like, no. If you're gonna try and get me to play as Sheik, make her levels part of the main campaign or fix your fucking game, bro.

DIESEL® – For Successful Living

The game is 9 chapters long, and for the first 5, it's just, like, "WHO CARES?! HONESTLY! WHY SHOULD I CARE?" Kind of reminded me of Sleepless starring Jamie Foxx (which I've never seen). Why would you keep a severely important plot-detail, that makes the story more interesting, hidden from the audience for two thirds of the story?!

Chapter 4 is...open world? Sort of...for some reason. And there's a side-mission... Like...but, why?

But the last chapter is one of the absolute best chapters in the series (one of the best missions in video games, full stop) and totally worth the rest of the game.

Not gay enough, though.

Uncharted 2 starts with a heist. Now that's how you start a masterpiece.
Uncharted 4 starts with a prison break. Now THAT'S how you start a masterpiece.



i cried

I'm getting really sick of shooting people.


Voice-acting carries this whole game.

And fuck Nathan for making Elena drop her camera. Just fuck him. No redemption.

What is this? Crouching Simulator?

Favorite chapter was definitely the fourth Claire episode.

Natalia is the cutest fictional character ever created. RE2 Sherry Birkin, eat your heart out. RE6 Sherry Birkin, you're still in.

People still don't love this? Are you, maybe, uh, not a cool person? THIS is how you make a game.

I've always found that the games that really speak to me are the games that never lose traction or pacing. That never drags, and never goes too fast, and just constantly leaves you with new things to think about and do, and is constantly not only switching up enemies and locations, or weapons, but the actual gameplay.

And that's Resident Evil 6, baby! It's fucking awesome! And my favorite game in the franchise.

I've never played a game where, I've gone to bed after playing, just longing for the next day so I can play more. Sure, I've been excited enough to think about other games while going to bed, but not actually been gleeful and jittery thinking about going to bed and sleeping and waking up and eating breakfast and turning on the TV so I can play more of the game. The experience just warmed my heart.

No lie. After Leon's campaign, and I started Chris', I legitimately smiled and felt such joy to the point where I almost started crying because of how much I was loving it. It was so fucking cool.

THIS is how you utilize cinema storytelling in video games. I absolutely love the way they've taken filmmaking techniques and philosophies, and have actually successfully translated it, and made it work in a video game format, and even enhanced it sometimes.

I've never seen a cold open be utilized in a game before. Not actually. I've seen video games open in the middle of stories before throwing you back to the beginning, but not an actual legitimate cold open, before the title screen. Before the main menu. That's so insanely cool.

And the story ACTUALLY UNFOLDS as you play! It doesn't just get told to you with each checkpoint. You play, and you figure out this bit, and then you come back later with that previous bit, and you get a second bit, and you now have two bits that fit together to form a bigger bit. And it's like that for the entire game! It's magic before your very eyes!

The structure just pumps me with cocaine. Or another fun drug of your choosing. It's like any other insanely awesome game, but it's four games. And I legitimately can't pick out one that I like more than another. All four are just so special, and actually unique. Even if one does one thing worse than the rest, it turns around and does another thing better than the rest.

Just when you think you've started a bad section, it throws you in some 720 loop that flips your whole world and you come right back down to the same conclusion as you had before: masterpiece.

Absolute, unequivocal, masterpiece.

The best game ever made. Literally.

Good night.

I always loved how the games followed the films in more ways than one, even accidentally.

The two first films have the same director and thus the same style, and most of the kids don't really have any obvious changes in between them, neither do the two games. It's the third one when everything becomes different. New director, new style. The game has brand new graphics. It feels like the beginning of a new era.

It no longer just feels like a kids game that some team threw together on the backside of a month (until the end maybe), but it feels like an actual game that they spent some actual time on. It doesn't feel like I'm playing a straight-up kids game.

The opening FMV is absolutely epic. Real time was spent on the storytelling aspect of the game, and it makes it so much more rewarding to play. There's an actual style, and an atmosphere, and an aesthetic to it that feels genuine and unique. It feels like if the Chamber of Secrets game just grew up.

No quidditch this time around, though, which is a bummer.

There are less gaps in the narrative now. Philosopher's Stone and Chamber of Secrets were almost laughable when it came to that, but these guys actually try to capture the story told as closely as possible. I know it's just because I've read the book and watched the film, but scenes towards the end actually managed to give me chills. I do feel like there was a lot of stuff cut from this game because of deadlines, which sucks, but that's life, and they made it work anyways.

And they even go beyond that. With the previous games, the game might veer off a bit to tell the story in a way that fits the game, but this game adds segments and story beats that aren't even in the book or the film.

Even if their creativeness in its storytelling, and video game making in general, just kinda dies down towards the end (because of deadlines, I'm guessing).

Plus, the game is just better now because you have Ron and Hermione with you for most of the game, and you can even switch to their characters. You even have them with you into the spell challenges, which is more than cool. However, because they follow you this time around, you can't really rely on following them to places, so you kind of have to figure out which doors you're supposed to enter yourself. But not only do you get to play as the three characters, you also get different specific abilities with each character, like Ron being able to see hidden doors, and Harry being able to jump (cool ability, bruv). But it doesn't stop there; the different characters also have character-specific spells. That's really cool.

Also, I adore the character models and animations.

They reuse a lot of music from previous games, which is actually kind of a positive because Chamber of Secrets has my second favorite video game soundtrack of all time. But it's also sort of a bummer because the original music that is here is really good. I especially love the more melancholic and not super happy tone of some of it. And the more mysterious and majestic, and less fun and adventurous, music.

I will say that the pause menu is frustratingly slow. And I don't like how voice lines are interrupted when you pause, and they don't continue when you unpause. And only being able to equip two spells at a time is a nuisance.

And the last act is way, way too short.

But I love this game. It's a good ol' time.

Now this is how you make a game.

It's immediately more polished than the first one, with an opening FMV cinematic instead of just a collection of in-game rendered clips.

It's immediately bigger, with you getting to walk around the Burrow and Diagon Alley as well, instead of just Hogwarts.

The attention to detail within levels is great. You know, just stuff lying around, not really there for a purpose. The rubber duck in Mr. Weasley’s barn; Dedalus Diggle hanging out in the Leaky Cauldron; the constantly increasing amount of spiders you can spot running from the castle, and then returning after defeating the basilisk. It makes the game feel more full of life.

The controls are smooth and quick, and the gameplay compliments the controls very well, and despite not being able to control the camera this time around, they actually do a pretty good job of scripting the camera in certain sections. The only part of it that feels more slow and clunky is the flying, which was the best part of the first game, so that's kind of fucked up.

As a kid, I always thought it was weird how Harry basically starts off from scratch again with spells, but they actually pull it off pretty well, with you already knowing flipendo, and getting lumos very early, before Hogwarts,

Harry doesn't shout out the name of every single bean he picks up, so just there is a point. And there are no potions classes.

And the music; OH, THE MUSIC! Jeremy Soule composed a great score for the first game, but this one is magical. It's my second favorite video game soundtrack of all time. It's the aspect of the game that I remember the most from my childhood. And the accompanying sound effects when you run across different surfaces. I used to just listen to this score on loop in math class. The title theme is absolutely legendary! And the night theme! And the day theme! And the stealth themes! And the Diagon Alley theme! And do I even have to mention the basilisk fight theme? GOD DAMN!