plastiquey
2019
repetitious as shit, respawning enemy encounters, terrible loot, boring enemies, inconsistent checkpoint distances, atrocious map, AWFUL writing, all the powers are useless minus rock throwing and dodging, arbitrary two weapon limit despite the main gun literally shifting on the fly, every incentive to explore is either terrible loot or a wall of text, and the game runs like shit.
fun puzzles though.
fun puzzles though.
2022
the thing that you dont do when making a parody is posit the worst traits of the original property with zero self awareness. the triangle puzzle and the painting puzzle posits the worst traits of the original game with zero self awareness, in a game that makes jokes about obtuse puzzles by not "wasting your time" (a la giving you a shotgun to blow away door puzzles or just letting you draw around the solution), it proceeds to waste your time with two puzzles that are practically unsolvable unless you are to get a walkthrough or waste the next 30 minutes brute forcing it.
oh yeah and its all for a cock joke. despite this being only an hour or two to play, it runs out of steam within 30 minutes as it just plods along with boring walking around solving boring puzzles. jonathan blow is a pretentious twat but this sort of thing deserves either a more biting critique or an even dumber game.
oh yeah and its all for a cock joke. despite this being only an hour or two to play, it runs out of steam within 30 minutes as it just plods along with boring walking around solving boring puzzles. jonathan blow is a pretentious twat but this sort of thing deserves either a more biting critique or an even dumber game.
2020
a wonderful beautiful story about loss and friendship, and a brilliant depiction of mental illness and how it affects relationships, alongside one of my favorite endings for any game ever. had me sobbing fr lol.
unfortunately, the rpg part is bad. not abysmal bad, its passable, but its also really mediocre, and dont worry you get more than enough of it bc this game is twenty five fucking hours long. i think like, 10 hours of this game couldve been shaved off the top, just getting rid of all the excessive monotonous combat and dungeons and most of the really long dream world bits (theres some good parts in the dream world, i wont lie, but a majority is just fucking trash, especially the humphrey segment).
but yeah, excellent story, terrible game. kinda the opposite of neon white actually, but that game was a wholehearted recommendation. this one isnt, this is like.... are you REALLY sure you want to sit through 20+ hours of boring rpg? because if you do, you're gonna be awarded one of the best stories in any rpg that i can think of. you just have to wade through shit for it.
unfortunately, the rpg part is bad. not abysmal bad, its passable, but its also really mediocre, and dont worry you get more than enough of it bc this game is twenty five fucking hours long. i think like, 10 hours of this game couldve been shaved off the top, just getting rid of all the excessive monotonous combat and dungeons and most of the really long dream world bits (theres some good parts in the dream world, i wont lie, but a majority is just fucking trash, especially the humphrey segment).
but yeah, excellent story, terrible game. kinda the opposite of neon white actually, but that game was a wholehearted recommendation. this one isnt, this is like.... are you REALLY sure you want to sit through 20+ hours of boring rpg? because if you do, you're gonna be awarded one of the best stories in any rpg that i can think of. you just have to wade through shit for it.
2024
only played the demo, which has a lot of features locked away or elements stuck in as a placeholder so it's not exactly even a full complete demo either. incredibly promising, combat is punchy as fuck, feels very much like a Build engine game (even though its running on GZDoom). world building and level detail is immaculate, theres a really painstaking amount of time put into little things like birthday cakes around a birthday party that act like health pick ups, and all the ways you can interact with the environment like petting roombas or using a fire extinguisher to blow up an MRI machine. most things in the environment react to gunfire and the combat scenarios are all dealt around incredibly tight corridors with lots of space to move around between rooms and get the drop on enemies, and its all so fucking satisfying.
game also has a 10/10 shotgun, just totally fucking explosive and brutal. theres a really good balance for most of the demo regarding not giving you enough ammo or health to really coast by most combat situations carelessly (bar for later on when the game hands over a shitton of assault rifle ammo to you, probably in preparation for the boss). there's a satisfying degree of challenge to this.
overall, the potential here is staggering. i think if the level design is tuned up a bit more and theres more space to move (and if they move away from the system shock 2-esque and doom 3-esque vibe of the demo levels) this could turn out to be a stellar boomer shooter. am very curious about all the additional replayability features too, like the randomizer mode and the mutators, and mod support. they also need to work on the optimization a bit more, i did run into a lot of stutters (usually whenever i saved) and frame drops were pretty frequent during encounters, but it was never too much of a distraction.
game also has a 10/10 shotgun, just totally fucking explosive and brutal. theres a really good balance for most of the demo regarding not giving you enough ammo or health to really coast by most combat situations carelessly (bar for later on when the game hands over a shitton of assault rifle ammo to you, probably in preparation for the boss). there's a satisfying degree of challenge to this.
overall, the potential here is staggering. i think if the level design is tuned up a bit more and theres more space to move (and if they move away from the system shock 2-esque and doom 3-esque vibe of the demo levels) this could turn out to be a stellar boomer shooter. am very curious about all the additional replayability features too, like the randomizer mode and the mutators, and mod support. they also need to work on the optimization a bit more, i did run into a lot of stutters (usually whenever i saved) and frame drops were pretty frequent during encounters, but it was never too much of a distraction.
2018
a game with a maximum amount of potential, released in the most bare minimum of alpha states. still being updated at a total snails pace, after four years. replay feature is broken, ai is terrible, not even an hour's worth of gameplay in the single-player, every level is also way too fucking short.... yeah. this needs a lot of work.
2023
rating is for the demo, but this would honestly be pretty great if the AI were fixed. the main problem with this game is that its not really actually challenging. its hard to outwit the enemy AI because it literally doesnt matter if you're in the dark or if you're hiding behind something, because the AI seems to always be able to seek you out and get you even when you're trying to play against their strengths.
whats the point of a stealth system and a system that emphasizes hiding in the shadows if shadows dont do a fuckin thing? enemies are plain and simple, way too fucking good at spotting you, and theres not much you can do when someone does spot you because they have laser-perfect hit scan accuracy (outside of the lousy fucking cloak which lasts a whole total of one second). they also suffer from extreme bullet sponging, making your weapons feel weak as shit if you arent getting headshots or using a shotgun (good shotgun btw).
also, when in gods name are we going to do away with stamina in first person shooters? the whole disadvantage of sprinting is that you cant fucking shoot when youre sprinting, why do you need to add in an additional facet of forcing the player to wait 3 seconds after your character gets winded from a total of FOUR fucking seconds of running. if you're going to have a system like this, then do what modern warfare does and add in a tactical sprint so that you can run infinitely at a speed faster than a snail without having to deal with the endurance of a fat man.
finally, finally finally, this just isnt a very well optimized game. but that's really to be expected of a game that is basically in the alpha state so i wont hold it against the devs very much, it seems like theyve done a lot of strides on improving the main levels that were in the original demo (though the newer more lit up areas run like shit). there's something really promising and ambitious about this game, and im very curious to see how itll end up by the time it releases, but i cant help but worry that it wont live up to its full potential. im in the need of another game like the original F.E.A.R., and this merely scratches the itch, but idk if its enough honestly.
whats the point of a stealth system and a system that emphasizes hiding in the shadows if shadows dont do a fuckin thing? enemies are plain and simple, way too fucking good at spotting you, and theres not much you can do when someone does spot you because they have laser-perfect hit scan accuracy (outside of the lousy fucking cloak which lasts a whole total of one second). they also suffer from extreme bullet sponging, making your weapons feel weak as shit if you arent getting headshots or using a shotgun (good shotgun btw).
also, when in gods name are we going to do away with stamina in first person shooters? the whole disadvantage of sprinting is that you cant fucking shoot when youre sprinting, why do you need to add in an additional facet of forcing the player to wait 3 seconds after your character gets winded from a total of FOUR fucking seconds of running. if you're going to have a system like this, then do what modern warfare does and add in a tactical sprint so that you can run infinitely at a speed faster than a snail without having to deal with the endurance of a fat man.
finally, finally finally, this just isnt a very well optimized game. but that's really to be expected of a game that is basically in the alpha state so i wont hold it against the devs very much, it seems like theyve done a lot of strides on improving the main levels that were in the original demo (though the newer more lit up areas run like shit). there's something really promising and ambitious about this game, and im very curious to see how itll end up by the time it releases, but i cant help but worry that it wont live up to its full potential. im in the need of another game like the original F.E.A.R., and this merely scratches the itch, but idk if its enough honestly.
2012
a wonderful game about how killing rules and also does not rule at all.
2012
This review contains spoilers
as someone said on a different site: neoliberal nothingness.
it fails to deliver on its message because it has such a black and white perspective on war as a whole. theres no nuance to a sensitive topic that is complex and difficult to address, it instead just blames the player and the individual soldiers for war without isolating the real problems with it that arent just "war are bad", and it never attempts to attribute the problem to anything beyond "video games that glorify war are bad and the player is bad for wanting to play shooter games".
honestly, i think we're at a point where messages like these are just not worth caring about anymore. if this game had balls it would've gone for WHO benefits off of war, and why its important to think critically about the effects of media like this, instead of..... going after people that enjoy shooter games. it's victim blaming at its finest, down to that "The Army does not condone killing civilians, but this is fake so why should you care?" loading screen. i dont even like umurangi generation (at all), but it does a wayyy fucking better job at political commentary than this.
in any case even without all of this political commentary, the story isnt that good, the characters are bland, the ending is stupid, etc. its inspired but never in a good way, it just feels like its repurposing better media about this same sort of thing (obviously the stuff that the devs have said influenced this game massively). also its worth mentioning that i love playing games where you can be unapologetically terrible when the characters all around you arent worth caring about in the slightest. thus this is the type of game where being a piece of shit just makes sense, because everyone around you isnt worth caring about, everyone's a generic stereotype of a character that only gets slightly deconstructed as the game goes on (by deconstructed i mean the characters just get a little ooooo crazyyy). this game also fails to give the player any incentive to make you feel like playing the saint is something worth doing. especially during the lynching scene, which i ironically felt less about mowing down citizens than i did in mw2.
oh yeah and the gameplay is fucking awful. the whole excuse for the gameplay being bad is "ooooo war is badddd war feels so dumb and bad isnt it baddddd" which would be a valid excuse if the story were any good at all, if the political commentary were any good at all. instead you just have bad political commentary with zero nuance, and a mediocre ugly ass gears of war military shooter clone hybrid that is utterly soulless.
someone else here pointed this out but the game constantly rewards you for killing with slo-mo special effects, satisfyingly brutal kill animations, and achievements. i've removed a diatribe about undertale (and umurangi generation) for your sanity, but im still going to point out that this is hilariously counter to how to make the player feel like what theyre doing is wrong, and undertale tackled this same issue better by actively punishing the player with constant disappointments and increasing difficulty. meanwhile this game gives you silly achievements for murdering innocent people whilst at the same time, bemoaning you for killing innocent people. even fucking FUNNY GAMES didnt show the audience any satisfying deaths, and the devs excuse this by saying these aspects are supposed to make the concept of FPS games having these features feel unrealistic and ridiculous. the reality is that this game feels ridiculous.
in closing, this shit just doesnt work. terrible game. there are better double-A shooters out there, and MUCH better politically conscious games as well. this game doesnt do a single fucking thing right.
it fails to deliver on its message because it has such a black and white perspective on war as a whole. theres no nuance to a sensitive topic that is complex and difficult to address, it instead just blames the player and the individual soldiers for war without isolating the real problems with it that arent just "war are bad", and it never attempts to attribute the problem to anything beyond "video games that glorify war are bad and the player is bad for wanting to play shooter games".
honestly, i think we're at a point where messages like these are just not worth caring about anymore. if this game had balls it would've gone for WHO benefits off of war, and why its important to think critically about the effects of media like this, instead of..... going after people that enjoy shooter games. it's victim blaming at its finest, down to that "The Army does not condone killing civilians, but this is fake so why should you care?" loading screen. i dont even like umurangi generation (at all), but it does a wayyy fucking better job at political commentary than this.
in any case even without all of this political commentary, the story isnt that good, the characters are bland, the ending is stupid, etc. its inspired but never in a good way, it just feels like its repurposing better media about this same sort of thing (obviously the stuff that the devs have said influenced this game massively). also its worth mentioning that i love playing games where you can be unapologetically terrible when the characters all around you arent worth caring about in the slightest. thus this is the type of game where being a piece of shit just makes sense, because everyone around you isnt worth caring about, everyone's a generic stereotype of a character that only gets slightly deconstructed as the game goes on (by deconstructed i mean the characters just get a little ooooo crazyyy). this game also fails to give the player any incentive to make you feel like playing the saint is something worth doing. especially during the lynching scene, which i ironically felt less about mowing down citizens than i did in mw2.
oh yeah and the gameplay is fucking awful. the whole excuse for the gameplay being bad is "ooooo war is badddd war feels so dumb and bad isnt it baddddd" which would be a valid excuse if the story were any good at all, if the political commentary were any good at all. instead you just have bad political commentary with zero nuance, and a mediocre ugly ass gears of war military shooter clone hybrid that is utterly soulless.
someone else here pointed this out but the game constantly rewards you for killing with slo-mo special effects, satisfyingly brutal kill animations, and achievements. i've removed a diatribe about undertale (and umurangi generation) for your sanity, but im still going to point out that this is hilariously counter to how to make the player feel like what theyre doing is wrong, and undertale tackled this same issue better by actively punishing the player with constant disappointments and increasing difficulty. meanwhile this game gives you silly achievements for murdering innocent people whilst at the same time, bemoaning you for killing innocent people. even fucking FUNNY GAMES didnt show the audience any satisfying deaths, and the devs excuse this by saying these aspects are supposed to make the concept of FPS games having these features feel unrealistic and ridiculous. the reality is that this game feels ridiculous.
in closing, this shit just doesnt work. terrible game. there are better double-A shooters out there, and MUCH better politically conscious games as well. this game doesnt do a single fucking thing right.
2015
I have no idea what they've done to this game since I've first played the 1.0 (which I had originally rated a 1/5, purely for the horrible balancing on Hard) but this is, without a doubt, the best way to experience the original Half-Life and I strongly recommend everyone that hasn't played it, go do so right now. This used to be unbearably difficult and cheap and required WAY too much save-scumming, due to weak weapons, bullet-sponging enemies, and the Grunts being too accurate and versatile in taking you down. I don't know what has happened since the 1.0 patch but they must've done an incredible job at re-balancing the difficulty to not feel like total bullshit. Enemies can no longer snipe you with shotguns and SMGs from meters away, enemies don't run and gun with high accuracy as often, even the lobby encounter isn't painstakingly awful anymore.
Significant improvement over the original, and a significant improvement over its own self. PLEASE play it. I cannot state enough how much of a beautiful enhancement this game is over the original, I can only hope we eventually get the same treatment for the DLCs in the future.
Significant improvement over the original, and a significant improvement over its own self. PLEASE play it. I cannot state enough how much of a beautiful enhancement this game is over the original, I can only hope we eventually get the same treatment for the DLCs in the future.
2022
literally the exact same as the past three games. this is just WW2 sniper ghost warrior.
2018
has its good moments but it unfortunately stumbles a lot in regards to feeling like its own thing that isnt dependent on its connection to undertale. which is fine if its a sequel, and maybe this whole series IS a sequel. but from what i can tell, its just an alternate universe so far, an alternate universe that is a bit too fan-servicey for my liking.
also, the dream world is unbearably drab and boring, virtually lifeless. but at least the characters are still great, and the same goes for the music which i dont think toby could ever miss in that area.
also, the dream world is unbearably drab and boring, virtually lifeless. but at least the characters are still great, and the same goes for the music which i dont think toby could ever miss in that area.
2020
an expanded version of the novel concept that the first game had, which honestly..... i mean its what i asked for. the first game was a barebones idea that was cool but didnt really amount to much else, but this REALLY expands it. its just a shame that the difficulty is a bit artificial at times, especially with the whole "every time you die you get thrown back to the previous level" system, which is piss annoying.
2013
a cool novel concept!
is that it? yeah thats it.
is that it? yeah thats it.
2013
i love dying and being dead
2016
i love playing this game with friends and screaming and feeling nothing but agonizing pain and then getting so relentlessly toxic in all chat that i get banned. this game sucks ass but i have to give it one thing: it is a social experience. i have tarnished friendships because of this awful fucking game. it is brilliant. dont buy it or the sequel.