thephilosopher
39 reviews liked by thephilosopher
Tales of Arise
2021
Combat is spamming buttons while the screen flashes and people yell. The premise of the story sounds like a child wrote it. All the characters are trash. Tales sucks.
Diablo IV
2023
after deep contemplation, i've come to realise this game is just cookie clicker. every encounter plays out the same, but you continue grinding just for a chance to make that epic build you saw on reddit! bleh.
Diablo IV
2023
02/01/2024 - Day VII, Act II: It has been exactly one week since I began my journey through Sanctuary. I'll admit, my journey began with a reduction in price and a hint of skepticism - ready to be dissapointed by the Archdevil, Bobby, once again - my first journal entry spoke of Baldur and his Gate, and the lack of microtransactions, as a jest. The battle pass and shop left a distinct, poor first impression, especially when coupled with some issues I had at startup (turn off ultra textures for the love of god).
What I did not foresee is the level at which I would become engrossed in my journey. At every turn, I have been faced with cryptic warnings; "Diablo IV bad", "Trash game no content (reviewed by someone with over 200 hours)", and yet... in spite of this, I can't help but be drawn in, immersed by the immaculate, perfected Diablo combat - the beautifully, so disgustingly beautifully, presented world and environment, and the sound design that compliments it. Flies buzzing around rotting viscera, a somber, melancholic instrumental for every area of the game thus far, with a sinister, deep, thrumming bassline that counters it especially when the tension picks up. Cutscenes are fantastic, voice lines are impressive, and the fact that this game right now for me is competing for my time with Baldur's Gate 3 is a testament to how much I am currently enjoying it. I will continue to write in my journal as I venture forth toward Lillith.
What I did not foresee is the level at which I would become engrossed in my journey. At every turn, I have been faced with cryptic warnings; "Diablo IV bad", "Trash game no content (reviewed by someone with over 200 hours)", and yet... in spite of this, I can't help but be drawn in, immersed by the immaculate, perfected Diablo combat - the beautifully, so disgustingly beautifully, presented world and environment, and the sound design that compliments it. Flies buzzing around rotting viscera, a somber, melancholic instrumental for every area of the game thus far, with a sinister, deep, thrumming bassline that counters it especially when the tension picks up. Cutscenes are fantastic, voice lines are impressive, and the fact that this game right now for me is competing for my time with Baldur's Gate 3 is a testament to how much I am currently enjoying it. I will continue to write in my journal as I venture forth toward Lillith.
Diablo IV
2023
I've met the person this game is designed for and you are right to be mad at them.
Diablo IV
2023
No game where you can hold one button standing in one place and progress deserves to be called good. And no, you can't say "but you need to play it for x hours for it to get good," -- that in itself is a condemnation to a game. It is bad design.
If only it wasn't a JRPG.....
My first ever Hitman game and it's funny becoz the person who got me into this was my Grandad 😂. I'd play Sonic on his PC and I'd watch him play Silent Assassin. When I played I struggled alot and my grandad was a master. He was too good. We always laughed everytime Agent 47 would use the ballers to send people flying. Now that I'm older I have this game 100% on the PS3 and everytime I see I remind him I done everything on that game. Wonder who's the master now 😂😂
Dinner Date
2010
I feel like this was a game made in that brief period in the early 2010s when people thought the best way to convince people that video games were art was to make them boring.
Devil May Cry 2
2003
if she says "0.5 out of 5 is hyperbole" or "it's not unplayable" she not the one
Vampire Survivors
2021
I had a longer review planned out, but honestly man?
This game just isn't that much different from a clicker/idle game. If you like those games then wire in, but to me they're just meritless time blackholes that're little more than Cocomelon for adults with untreated ADHD.
This game just isn't that much different from a clicker/idle game. If you like those games then wire in, but to me they're just meritless time blackholes that're little more than Cocomelon for adults with untreated ADHD.