Tekken is a game about decades long family feud so here’s my story of Tekken-related patricide.

When I turned 6 my dad decided to gift me a Playstation 1. We weren’t rich so we bought it second hand. He found some guy willing to sell his console and we visited him together to make sure it works. I remember his room being cluttered and messy. I also remember the game he showed us first. It was Tekken 3. It blew our minds. Never have we seen 3D graphics that looked so detailed, so animated, so lively. Coming straight from shitty famicom clones it looked unbelievable. My excitement about graphics peaked right there and I’m still trying to catch that high. That dude sold us his stack of discs as well (I also remember a shitty Mission Impossible game), but really we only cared about the “game with brawls”. When we got back we played Tekken 3 all night long. That was maybe the most memorable day of my childhood.

Years passed and I “grew out” of PS1. I didn’t have a PS2 or PS3, I got into PC gaming instead, so the rest of the Tekken series passed near me. I played some T5 on friends’ PSPs (I even showed them how to do cool Law kickflips that still worked exactly how I remembered) but otherwise it wasn’t something I was particularly interested in anymore. I’m into “smart” games now, not those meathead fightings.

But my dad, it turns out, never stopped caring. Now living a pretty prosperous life he bought his new son a PS3 (we stopped living together by then) with, you guessed it, Tekken 6. And this time it was a deliberate ploy for him to REALLY get invested in fighting. He started maining Hwoarang, actually learning his moves, trying out online. I remember my lil bro’s excitement when T7 got announced for PS4 because he knew dad would WANT to play that one, so yet another birthday Playstation was imminent. In T7 he got addicted to ranked play so he got really good. The meme about 40yo old dudes playing Kazuyas perfectly wavedashing and putting you in nasty mixup is real, except it’s my dad, he’s 50 now and he’s Hwoarang.

And of course whenever I’d visit Dad's side of the family he’d invite me to play Tekken for old time’s sake. And since he got so good it’s gotten pretty miserable. I played a bit of T7 as well since it was on PC, but never on the level that invited understanding, just mashing here and there with friends. Of course it wasn’t enough against Dad’s Hwo. And whenever he’d perfect K.O my ass he’d laugh straight in my face. Look at the gamer son who can’t play fighting games! I very much gave up on reaching his level, I just accepted my beatings at occasional family gatherings.

That is until Tekken 8.

Something clicked with me in this game. Maybe it’s fantastic learning tools, maybe it’s yet again great graphics, maybe it’s Jun Kazama being an amazingly fun character, but it got its hooks deep in me. Now I know how to apply pressure, how to put an enemy in a mixup state. I understand the concept of taking turns, the difference between crush and evade, when to use my 13i and 10i punishes. I know my character’s moves and available tools. I’m actually learning.

My Dad of course also hopped on T8. He bought an entire new laptop for the game, justifying it as a working expense! And yesterday we finally got to play some sets.

These were my most nailbiting T8 matches so far. Turns out Dad doesn’t like it when I’m ducking his highs. He also can’t do much when it’s me who’s putting the pressure and forces the mixups. I put everything into this… and finally got him. We went 4-3. I defeated my Dad. I truly am the son of the Mishima family.

[Archived Forum Discussion: Adol vs Kratos]

" Kratos is a literal god vs some guy that is a traveler lol nah Adol gets bodied ez "

" Shield Staff negates any damage at the cost of mana, so if Adol keep eating pears to regen all MP he would never take damage "

" I feel kratos with spartan rage would still body him tho? "

" Shield staff negates any damage "

" so your saying a guy that can negate damage wins against the guy that literally two series worth of GODS and is immortal "

" Shield staff negates any damage "

“I’m a fiend for mojitos”
-Det. James “Sonny” Crockett, Miami Vice

The 2000s aesthetic is in full swing here. Tekken 4 is widely considered the first videogame ever to be set in a city¹, but what isn’t commonly known is that it’s also the first game to feature techno music².

Tekken 4’s punch-outs take place in far more grounded settings than its predecessors or successors, such as shopping malls and parking garages. Each one is a stage from Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3³ and you can almost feel the hot breeze of a warm summer night, especially if your PlayStation 2 is overheating.

Despite its impeccable vibes, a competitive scene never arose for Tekken 4 due to it being mostly about positive energy and enjoyment⁴. Professional fighting game players rarely discuss anything other than the presence of a senile, diaper clad Heihachi Mishima as the final boss.

Tekken Force Mode returns from Tekken 3.⁵

Playing this in tandem with its 2002 sister fighting game Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance, it’s plain to see which is the better fighting game experience.⁶ The gameplay itself isn’t as balanced as prior or future entries, apparently, but everything else about this game is sleek and fluid. As an aesthetic exercise at the very least, Tekken 4 is wholly unique in its franchise if not its genre.

Tekken 8 would do well to swap out some of its particle-effect-heavy, apocalyptic stages⁷ for a pristine turn-of-the-century airport or a balmy metropolitan rooftop. Kazuya should rock some shades. Man, this game is like Tekken Summer Vacation. Let’s party.

__________
[1] I made this up
[2] Completely fabricated
[3] Pranked!
[4] Conner Wilson, On Tryhards, Penguin, 2024, p. 68
[5] Tekken 4, Namco, 2002
[6] Conman, Tekken 4, Backloggd, 2023, p. 1
[7] This just has to be the case right

I bought this because I don’t really have anything to play on Switch right now. I’m playing a lot of stuff on PC and 3DS, and I haven’t really bought a lot of new releases on Switch because I’m not exactly too liquid right now! I’ve heard a lot about these ‘Grandmaster’ titles and decided to try one out. The result was me sinking hours and hours almost everyday this week trying to get that top spot on the rankings. I usually try and watch something while playing whatever “““casual””” game I’m playing, however, and what I never seemed to realize was that Tetris requires 100% of my attention when I’m intensely trying to be the very best. A “grand master,” if you will. So intense, however, that I was beginning to get really frustrated as I couldn’t get over a wall I’d found myself at around level 399 with an S2 grade that I could get to around 5 minutes and change. So, I found myself irritable, distracted, and not really doing much else with the free time afforded to me by my being unemployed (and not liquid enough to purchase new vices and addictions). I think I’m gonna hang up the Tetris towel for the next couple of weeks, and when I do pick it up, I think I’ll get into something a little more light-hearted. Like, Tetris DS or something. Hopefully my Switch doesn’t miss me too much.

Will Keith Kellogg: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!
Me: shut yo goofy ass up, boomer think he can tell me what to do, making me actually eat breakfast

Nat Hazelnut Hex: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!
Me: Yes, my queen. Glory to Hazelnut Hex

Me when a game is full of references:
just NAMING something ISN'T a JOKE !!!!! PICK up a PEN and start WRITING actual CONTENT !!!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

me when every single reference is about something i really like:
oh my god... 😊😊😊 they like that... 😊😊😊 i also like that 😊😊😊.... can't wait to see an interview later talking about some minor details I may have missed 😊😊😊... videogames are art this is so cool... 😊😊😊