utterlynowhere
2005
I still think about why your player character's head is tilted in a certain degree. That, and who the hell holds a gun like that.
Infected is ugly and plays awful, but there's something charming about it. Is it the violence? Is it's asinine-design? Nope; it's the tilted head and the wacko gun-holding for me. One star for the head, and another for the hand.
Infected is ugly and plays awful, but there's something charming about it. Is it the violence? Is it's asinine-design? Nope; it's the tilted head and the wacko gun-holding for me. One star for the head, and another for the hand.
2007
Clunky, janky, but memorable enough. Dead Head Fred is disgusting, yet surprisingly endearing in many ways.
Dead Head Fred is a core memory of mine, so all its flaws wouldn't stop me from rating it so highly.
Dead Head Fred is a core memory of mine, so all its flaws wouldn't stop me from rating it so highly.
Some middle-aged dad on Twitter would probably commend this game, rambling like "a game that represents my generation, when there was no woke and censorship. truly a game of its time".
Fuck off.
Fuck off.
1995
PO'ed was quite an experience. It's psychedelic, and almost psychopathic level-design is truly head-scratching. PO'ed is nauseating, barely giving its player time to breath.
PO'ed is ugly, no exceptions. To call the game abstract is somehow offensive, yet accurate at the same time. But did PO'ed cook? Nah, I don't think so.
Did I mention that I finished this total schizophrenic game in Japanese? I didn't. Don't worry, I'm not Japanese, so that was quite an experience.
PO'ed is ugly, no exceptions. To call the game abstract is somehow offensive, yet accurate at the same time. But did PO'ed cook? Nah, I don't think so.
Did I mention that I finished this total schizophrenic game in Japanese? I didn't. Don't worry, I'm not Japanese, so that was quite an experience.
2001
All fun and games until you need to plant a C4 next to a tank with endlessly spawning soldiers.
Syphon Filter 3 concludes the series in the Playstation. It probably has the best variety in terms of level-design, and environment but also has some of the weakest level-design and most frustrating stages in the franchise. Truly, a downgrade to its predecessors.
Syphon Filter 3 concludes the series in the Playstation. It probably has the best variety in terms of level-design, and environment but also has some of the weakest level-design and most frustrating stages in the franchise. Truly, a downgrade to its predecessors.
2000
More Syphon Filter, more Lian Xing and Mara Aramov damsel in distress trope. Of course, Gabriel Logan spams O to save the day.
Despite not aging well, Syphon Filter 2 is one of those games that I love unconditionally, and represents a significant half of my love for espionage stories. I'm giving it a high score, not because it's amazing, but rather because it jumpstarted my love for video games.
Despite not aging well, Syphon Filter 2 is one of those games that I love unconditionally, and represents a significant half of my love for espionage stories. I'm giving it a high score, not because it's amazing, but rather because it jumpstarted my love for video games.
1999
Syphon Filter didn't really age well. Yet, here I am pondering on its absolutely weird take on its combat system. Hit-scans? Projectiles? What the hell, is that, Syphon Filter tells its competitors.
It manages to accomplish a level of power-fantasy unique to its system, with you running into dozens of enemies while regularly maintaining a status bar.
Also has the O button for rolling. Yeah, that's it for that sentence.
It manages to accomplish a level of power-fantasy unique to its system, with you running into dozens of enemies while regularly maintaining a status bar.
Also has the O button for rolling. Yeah, that's it for that sentence.
Wacko.
The game that decided that, yeah, fuck it, we 'bout to do everything. Did it work? Yeah it did. Year of the Dragon is fantastic and has some of the most adorable levels in the franchise. A fantastic conclusion to the trilogy.
The game that decided that, yeah, fuck it, we 'bout to do everything. Did it work? Yeah it did. Year of the Dragon is fantastic and has some of the most adorable levels in the franchise. A fantastic conclusion to the trilogy.
A slightly-more infuriating sequel, yet still manages to improve somewhat over the original.
Spyro 2 is often sadistic in its minigames, often boring, yet essential. Still enjoyed my time with it, however.
Spyro 2 is often sadistic in its minigames, often boring, yet essential. Still enjoyed my time with it, however.
1998
Captures the word 'fun' vehemently. Dozens upon dozens of mini-games and collect-a-thons scattered on every level.
Yeah, Spyro the Dragon is peak, and is a no-brainer Playstation classic.
Yeah, Spyro the Dragon is peak, and is a no-brainer Playstation classic.
2016
Knock on my door once again, and scream to my ears that Dark Souls III is the exemplar of its series, and I'm going to hit you with Zweihänder's R2.
Dark Souls III is the "what-if Dark Souls was combat only"?
Immersion? Nah.
Psychological reaction? What do you mean by that, utterlynowhere?
Emotions? Only anger and dopamine.
Dark Souls III is a narrow product, highlighting the series as merely games where you have to "master its technical aspects". A true-consequence of competitive capital-G gamer culture's dominance in video games.
Dark Souls III is the "what-if Dark Souls was combat only"?
Immersion? Nah.
Psychological reaction? What do you mean by that, utterlynowhere?
Emotions? Only anger and dopamine.
Dark Souls III is a narrow product, highlighting the series as merely games where you have to "master its technical aspects". A true-consequence of competitive capital-G gamer culture's dominance in video games.
2013
Two stars dedicated for Bioshock Infinite? No. it's a single star dedicated for Bioshock Infinite's world and another for the internet's biggest animation industry, SFM. This one star is for you, you horny bastards.
Jokes aside, Bioshock is afraid to say anything new to the issues that it attempts to tackle, failing miserably even.
Shallow and repetitive, Bioshock Infinite decides to call it quits on its identity of being an immersive sim. But damn, Columbia's quite pretty.
Jokes aside, Bioshock is afraid to say anything new to the issues that it attempts to tackle, failing miserably even.
Shallow and repetitive, Bioshock Infinite decides to call it quits on its identity of being an immersive sim. But damn, Columbia's quite pretty.
1999
It's fine I suppose. Not gonna lie, Dino Crisis is rather generic in concept for a survival-horror game, but is thankfully saved by dinosaurs. The dinosaurs are rather repetitive unfortunately, banking on a few species.
Short and concise, I suppose Dino Crisis is novel in concept. Stuck in an isolated island run by dinosaurs is a total fun time, right? Kind of, except when I start solving its dreadful puzzles.
Dino Crisis is tight. Its hallways even tighter. Regina? Great character. Would I vouch for a remake? Yes, but please. Lose the godawful puzzles, pretty please.
Short and concise, I suppose Dino Crisis is novel in concept. Stuck in an isolated island run by dinosaurs is a total fun time, right? Kind of, except when I start solving its dreadful puzzles.
Dino Crisis is tight. Its hallways even tighter. Regina? Great character. Would I vouch for a remake? Yes, but please. Lose the godawful puzzles, pretty please.
2019
I want to dissect this game in some way, except I'm only reminded of THAT particular scene.
Do I recommend it? Like euphoria, I'd like to and would not at the same time.
There's something compelling between its main characters, but no way in hell would I endorse any game in this particular form in any way.
Do I recommend it? Like euphoria, I'd like to and would not at the same time.
There's something compelling between its main characters, but no way in hell would I endorse any game in this particular form in any way.
Disgust is a term that you'd throw around for any medium that makes you too uncomfortable.
However, the word disgust can barely describe Starless. Depraved and pointless, often dehumanizing, and disconnected is what I would describe Starless.
However, the word disgust can barely describe Starless. Depraved and pointless, often dehumanizing, and disconnected is what I would describe Starless.