I don't think I've ever instantly fallen in love with a video game faster than I did with Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom.
With the resurgance of 3D platformers in the indie scene, this game is most definetly something you can add to the list of greatest 3D platformers of all time.

A platformer where there is no jump button? That is right... sort of. In this game you are taking advantatge of slopes and ramps with the dash abiity your taxi has in order to "Jump" and get to high places. As you play the game you will eventually learn more and more tricks where you will be moving around the map like an abosolute master, the same way you would be moving in Mario Sunshine or A Hat in Time. The skill ceiling here is TALL, and once you really get good with the mechanics, you will be jumping and zipping all around easily getting to out of bounds places. The game controls like an absolute dream and you'll have no problem getting used to the mechanics.

The game is structured like a 3D Mario game and Banjo-Kazzoie where you're given open zones to explore and collect gears (this games version of Stars or Jiggies). Some are out in the open for you to platform to and collect, and others require you to complete some sort of challenge. The standard fare, but not a single gear was ever frustrating to get. Going for the 100% is immensly fun.

With it being a Taxi game, there are also some Crazy Taxi moments where you gotta pick up and drop of passangers during some of the levels, which bring another unique twist to this platformer. Think Crazy Taxi but you're platforming as well as driving to your destination.

The visuals are super charming, it's a like a cross between Megaman Ledgends and a beautiful Sega Saturn game. It is absolutley charming and shines with every level theme the game has from the beach, to the bustling city, to haunted mansions. It's got all the themes you'd expect a platformer to have.

It takes about 8 - 10 hours to finish this, something expected from the genere, however when you beat the game there is a huge post-game that is about the same size as the main game, and in completly new levels too. There is so much content here with some of the postgame being real challenging if you want to exhaust everything you can from this game.

With this being the studio's first game, I am very shocked at the result here. I have no idea who the individual devs are, but this game feels like it was made by very experienced people in the industry. Something you'd expect nowadays from Toys for Bob or Insomniac. This is definetly my favorite platfomer so far from 2024, and expected sleeper hit.

Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom hooked me from the trailer, and I'm glad to say that fully playing the game pleased me more than I thought it would. I ended up falling in love with the gimmick of figuring out how to maneuver through a platformer with no jump button, and I feel really confident in saying how it ended up being some of my favorite controls for a 3D platformer I've played ever. I've said before that I'm not a huge platformer person, and I'm not, but something with Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom hits me just right. Maybe it's my hidden obsession with tiny toy cars, maybe it's the way the bright colors mixed with the polygon graphics and music, maybe it really is those tight controls - all I know is I'm not a platformer person and yet I 100%'ed this game over the past couple of days. I have never had a platformer completely cloud my thoughts in the way Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom has to the point that when I wasn't playing it, I was just thinking about playing it. It's perfect: in control, design, length, story, everything! I finished the entire goddamn thing and I'm still thinking about when I can play it again!

Absolutely a shining star for new releases in 2024. Can't wait to see what else Panik Arcade has up their sleeve, because they have gained a very loyal fan.

5/5

I never could have imagined that this would be one of the most demanding 3D platformers I have experienced in a hot minute. It's not that difficult to reach credits, but to 100% this one you'll have to master it completely.

There is a level of mechanical depth here that is so infectious. Chaining jumps, quickly zipping around a level is so chaotic and fun. I hope the speedrunning community for this has a field day.

It's also just a visual treat. It's another game proud to be a video game and I wouldn't be surprised if it ends up being the best soundtrack of 2024.

It sticks the landing and my biggest fear is that people either avoid this one for how simple it appears, or abandon it before the gameplay really clicks. If you love 3D platformers don't skip this one.

Easily the best new game I've played this year. Fully commits to the N64/PS1 aesthetic and plays out like a cross between Crazy Taxi and Banjo Kazooie.

The catch here is that you don't have a traditional jump button despite being a platformer- momentum is key to reaching great heights (kind of like a certain vidya game about a blue hedgehog). Your cute little cab instead has what's called a "flip o' will", which is essentially a dash you can trigger at any time to pick up a burst of speed. Additionally, you can get twice the speed by accelerating right after the cab twirls during the flip o' will. The timing on this is perhaps a little too strict at first, but it's very satisfying when you manage to send the cab soaring into those hard-to-reach places by getting it right.

The only thing keeping it from being a perfect game (imho) are the timers in some stages. Some stages will see you transporting NPCs across the map Crazy-Taxi style to increase a constantly-ticking timer. The problem with this is that the game also wants you to explore and mess around with the physics in order to find gears (the primary macguffin) as well as golden bunnies (not essential for any% and often require tough stunts to obtain). It was kinda annoying having to stop what I was trying to do to go drive some people around and hunt down clocks so I wouldn't Time Out. It would have been better if these levels were their own thing as breaks from the semi-open world exploration.

Even with that, Yellow Taxi is an absolute blast once you get the hang of its controls. It's very much like this Penny's Big Breakaway in that it's not going to click instantly like most other platformers, but when it does, it's quite spectacular.

Honestly, the most fun I have had with a game in AGES. A pure blast of silliness around every corner of every level, this game never fails to bewilder you with its absurd premise and equally absurd execution of said premise to perfection. The artstyle is charmingly low poly, and animations are bouncy and choppy, giving the game a unique vibe in conjunction with the flat out stupidity around every corner. Its a sensory overload in the best way possible.

100%ing this title was a constant joy, every level is packed with fun and challenging obstacles, which can be overcome with the very simple yet VERY deeply rewarding moveset you have access to - utilising slopes in the terrain of each level is key to gaining massive bursts of height and distance. Mastery of the simple moveset in conjunction with the level design truly unlocks the pure insane fun this game can offer.

The only drawbacks I had with the entire 100% process were limited to a small handful of levels; particularly ones with an overhead top down perspective (which removes the depth from the otherwise freeform movement system) and a couple with very tight time limits to contend with. Otherwise - everything is amazing! Go buy it and play it NOWWW!!! (you even get a super silly exclusive hat for buying within the first month of launch, so go do it!!!)

Incredible soundtrack, unique levels, silly story and characters, TONS of goofy hats to collect - everything about this game is just a joy to experience from start to end.

Genuinely, unironically one of the best 3D platformers I've played in recent memory. Absolutely going to 100% this on and off.

Edit: I've 100%'d the game over the past couple days, still excellent. The only thing that's a bit frustrating is that the timing for the Super Boost (push Gas at the end of a spin) has really strict timing, and requires you to push it a bit later than expected. Also Morio's Dream was the hardest level to get all Gears and Golden Bunnies in easily, which isn't awful at first until you realize how out of the way one of the bunnies and one of the gears is. Beyond that though, I had a wonderful time with this game and my 9/10 still stands.

Yellow Taxi is a silly little collectathon that is a very pleasant and polished experience. The core gimmick of the game, other than you playing as a sentient wind up taxi, is that there is no jump button. this requires you to combo some of your actions in order to get some height, which ends up making for some very fun moments. While the control scheme is simple, a big part of this game is finding the optimal way to string together your moves in order to get the most height or distance possible to reach those difficult to reach collectables. If I had some minor complaints, I think the top down levels are pretty slow and frustrating compared to the rest of the game, and the morio's mind level has a frustrating hazard that gets in the way of traversing the level in any fun way. Otherwise this game was excellent and had me smiling all the way to the end.

When i first heard of this game, i thought it was kinda stupid! A platformer without jumping sounded like something that would get really old really fast, but goddamnit this game is so much fun. While you can’t jump, you can perform a dash, and that dash feels so satisfying. Nearly every level is designed to utilize the dash and its quirks to the fullest. Finding all the collectables in each level was a challenge, but it was totally worth it. It took me around 15 hours to 100% (all steam achievements), and overall i really enjoyed my time with this game. If you love your 3D platformers, i highly recommend checking out Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom.

The movement is highly satisfying, knowledge based and engaging throughout, the level design is also pretty great overall. The story is silly nonsense, in a fun way. Loved the art direction as well and the music was decent. Really my major issue with the game comes from the times where the game changes the camera and feel around for certain levels/sections, I really didn't enjoy those parts. I got 140 of the gears, aka stars, out of I think 250. I probably wont collect all of them as that isn't really my thing, but if its yours theres a ton here to chew on.

Crazy Taxi meet Mario 64 in a time sensitive collectathon dedicated to a pet rabbit. Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom is a love letter to the 64 era and is packed to brim with content and challenges for the completionist out there.

The game does little to tutorialize its mechanics but rather spits out a hint here and there for a new way to move. You are progressively introduced to new words and locations that are generally hidden away or locked behind future progress. There is something particularly charming about the locations and characters that inhabit them, from spooky mansions to dog poo island it just looks so cute in the retro art style. Speaking of retro, the soundtrack is great and really emphasises the whimsical nature of the game while not being annoying or overbearing.
Gameplay wise you will spend most of your time collecting money, platforming for hidden cogs or delivering people to locations for an additional time boost. This gameplay loop is generally very fun and can create tension in worlds where time is more limited or constrained. Platforming or jump puzzles are where Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom shines as the world is designed with ramping up every angle in mind. However, I did struggle a little with keeping currency to buy more cosmetic hats as when you die or run out of time you will be penalized by losing some coins. This then fed into a loop of me getting quite broke sometimes due to a challenging jump I was adamant on beating. As for Boss fights there are a handful through the game that were generally quiet fun with exception to one very frustrating game of cat and mouse Boss.

Ultimately, Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom is a great example of indie game development keeping ideas fresh and interesting. Although I personally wasn’t completely hooked by the gameplay loop, I would still highly recommend to anyone interested.

O melhor: Os visuais coloridos e a jogabilidade rápida
O pior: Problemas com câmera e checkpoints
Nome de NPC que me fez soltar um arzinho pelo nariz: "Van BioDiesel"

Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom é um jogo de plataforma 3D collectathon, com um toque de Crazy Taxi. Controle o pequeno táxi movido a corda e colete as engrenagens para evitar o dano causado ao mundo pelo óleo, que é espalhado pelo maligno "Alien Mosk", dono da empresa "Tosla"... não sou lá muito fã do humor do jogo, mas isso não é importante aqui.

O principal diferencial desse aqui para os clássicos do gênero está nos controles. O carro é controlado de modo tradicional, com botões para acelerador e freio/ré, e há também um botão de dash, e só. Isso mesmo, não há um botão de pulo em um jogo de plataforma, ao menos não do jeito convencional. O ideal é aproveitar todas as inclinações no cenário como rampas para usar o dash (a física dos objetos é um tanto esquisita e pode levar um tempo para acostumar), e também, apesar do jogo não deixar isso tão claro assim inicialmente, é possível apertar o botão de dash novamente durante a animação inicial, o que faz o carro cancelar o dash e ganhar um pouco de altura, que faz muita diferença ao navegar pelo cenário. O uso de um único botão para essas manobras é algo que pode ser tão interessante (é bem divertido praticamente voar pelo cenário quando certas técnicas são dominadas) quanto frustrante (alguns momentos que exigem mais precisão podem causar muita raiva), mas é o que torna esse jogo único. Bem mais do que o seu visual retrô (bem caprichado), sua trilha sonora vibrante (mas um tanto repetitiva) e o seu humor de referências (que sempre tem quem goste).

As várias fases tem, em sua maior parte, um ótimo level design. Há uma boa variedade de cenários diferentes, e o gameplay pode mudar de acordo com a fase: em algumas a câmera vira top-down e o controle do carro fica inteiro no analógico, em outras há um tempo limite e o jogo vira de fato um Crazy Taxi, com passageiros diversos para transportar pela cenário. Há diversas moedas (utilizadas para comprar cosméticos para o táxi), engrenagens (que liberam novas fases) e coelhos (itens mais secretos que são usados após terminar o jogo) em cada uma dessas fases, e muitos deles estão em lugares que, à primeira vista, parecem inacessíveis. Então a exigência de domínio da jogabilidade é bem alta aqui para quem quiser fazer 100%. Fãs do gênero que gostam de desafio vão ter muito o que aproveitar com esse jogo.

YTGV é um jogo com muita personalidade e bem confiante no que se propõe a fazer. Eu tive alguns problemas com a câmera (não há exatamente um controle completo da câmera, diversas vezes tive que recorrer ao Photo Mode para localizar itens pelo cenário) e com o sistema de checkpoints (às vezes, após uma queda, o jogo pode te retornar numa plataforma não muito favorável), além do tom geral do jogo não ter me cativado tanto. Mas é sempre admirável quando um jogo se propõe a fazer algo diferente num gênero tão clássico. Então vale o teste para quem é fã do gênero (tem demo disponível no Steam).

VERY unique idea for a 3D platformer collectathon. Not having a traditional jump opens up so many possibilities, and I think this game takes full advantage of that. The controls take a little bit to get used to, but once you get it, you GET it. Only complaints are that getting 100% seems like a chore, and some gears (stars, basically) are a little too out of reach and expect a really deep understanding of the game's mechanics, which isn't inherently a bad thing, but it isn't very casual friendly.

A wild concept that is well executed, but is missing that last bit of focus to truly make it exceptional.

Before getting into that last bit, I do want to stress that the game truly feels novel in a way that 3D platformers rarely have since the PS1 days, where developers were constantly experimenting with weird ideas and control schemes. For the uninformed, 'Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom' is a 3D collectathon, with many gameplay elements lifted from 'Crazy Taxi'. It basically takes that game's general mechanics and chaotic gameplay, and translates it to a 3D platformer with big sandbox levels, often set in cityscapes. In an exceptionally bold choice for its genre, the game lacks a traditional jump button, instead relying on bizarre techniques to pull off this function. I won't spoil them all here, but as an example, one of the hidden tricks you can perform requires you to prematurely cancel your dash, which lifts you up slightly into the air, enough to get up small platforms. Most of the time, however, the game wants you to use the momentum from your dash to launch into the air. This trick is the game's biggest accomplishment and was a large part of why I was so initially enamoured by it.

The level / world design draws a lot of inspiration from the sandbox 3D Mario games. There are actually a lot of references to those games here, from the pan-over of all the major landmarks at the start of the level, to some explicit level concepts ripped straight out of 64 / Odyssey, to the Peach's Castle-esque hub world that hides many secrets of its own. As a big fan of those games, those references were more than welcome, yet never got in the way of the game forming a distinct identity. The humour mostly misses for me, but the PS1-inspired art style was quite charming overall. The flow of the levels feels similar to Super Mario Odyssey, with many hidden rooms that contain more focused platforming challenges and a plentiful amount of Gears (the main collectible) to find. Most Gears are placed in a such a way where you have multiple ways of obtaining them, using any combination of dashes, ramp, dash cancels etc. to reach them. The game is much harder than its inspirations, as you REALLY need to master the moveset and all the hidden moves to 100% the game.

The game felt fantastic to play at the start, but starts to feel tedious as it goes on. It follows a disappointing string of platformers recently that struggle to coalesce in a satisfying way, like the best platformers do. Think of how well the Mario games build to a dramatic conclusion, through great use of theming and escalating level design. Penny's Big Breakaway and Pepper Grinder suffered from this issue, and Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom is yet another game that encounters this issue. By the last few worlds, it gives up on the novel level design that made the game initially so captivating, in favour of generic platforming segments that feel so awkward within the game's unconventional mechanics.

I recommend this overall. It was not on my radar at all, so I was shocked by how much I ended up enjoying it. I'm excited to see more stuff from this developer in the future.

Most inventive platformer I've played in a while. Nothing quite controls like this game, and it's incredibly satisfying. seems pretty simple to start with, you can accelerate, brake, turn and do a lil charge boost, but as you will discover, that's not quite it. As soon as you unlock the boost, most of game is open for you to explore, you just might not quite know how. If you don't know how to proceed, talk to some NPCs and they might teach you something about your little taxi you didn't know yet!
The levels are pretty creative and diverse too. I'm not a huge fan of the time limit mechanic in some levels, thout it does work better in a few of them than in others.
Loved it, as of april a contender for GOTY 2024 in my mind.

𝟳𝟱% 💣
Although the controls here can’t be called incredibly smooth, like in some Japanese masterpieces, conceptually it’s still a truly innovative mixture of collectathon platformers like Mario, Sonic, also with an elements of “Crazy Taxi” and a retro vibe,
Think about it, you are a small taxi car on island cities, and you don’t even have a jump button❗ But we have an acceleration button, finding a rocky or “roof-like” surface even under a micro-slope (any curvature of the floor), we can accelerate upward and thereby reach a higher platform, well.. not entirely without a jump, of course..then we will be taught to do a tiny bounce, after which you can also accelerate in the air, and in general, if you don’t reach platform, then you can catch a little on the edge, the main thing is that you can’t do 2 accelerations in a row, so you need to calculate the jump in advance, but, in general, the gameplay is quite casual with 2/3 buttons, you can complete everythingtried it at random without any problems, although the game has some interesting movesets to offer, and well, there will also be construction platforms that will throw you up, and one jumping “powerup”,
Locations are divided into 2 types - a semi-open world, where we have a timer, if it expires, we will be sent to a checkpoint and a certain amount of collected money will be taken away, so we need to constantly replenish it by giving passers-by a lift, or collecting flying timers, or collecting a lot of the same coins (btw, when you stop the car, the timer slows down),
And corridor locations like lobbies - house or Morio`s laboratory, in which we will not be tormented by the ticking of time, and in which we can also collect some collectibles, of which there are 3 types:
1 - money to buy hats (we lose it when fall and when the timer is reset, you can’t collect them again in the same places, but in certain places you can re-farm, f.e. they are given for the destruction of every 50 buildings-stuff on the way)
2 - more valuable alien “Gears”, which we need to open all locations, we will need less than half of them - it’s not difficult at all, and for platinum there are more than 2 hundred of them,
3 are even rarer “Rabbits”, for which game will give some kind of bonus after beating the story, but I didn't collect enough, most likely it gives just another extra Gears things.
You won't be able to clear everything from the start of the game, of course, after discovering something in story level, you will be able to explore new paths in old locations, and even new mini-locations within locations,
The humor is very simple and straightforward, I usually don’t like this, but a good proportion has been found here so that it is not too stupid, but often absurdly funny (english here very easy), so don’t skip the passengers’ dialogues, I was also surprised by the driving under water, ramming cars, and wearing a long hat (given for the fact that many people added the game to the wishlist) you can collect coins,
I'm only disappointed by the locations, except for the starting island, the rest were somehow not catchy / not colorful enough or something.. and didn`t surprise with the setting, and the story.. about Morio`s supergrandmother and the villainwho brought the alien infection,I think there is no point in discussing this, but nevertheless - it`s undoubtedly one of the most interesting games of 2024.

p.s. The reference to "Pizza Possum" game at Pizza Location was quite nice.

😊 Sub to my Steam`s Curator`s page: https://store.steampowered.com/curator/41977550
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Хоть управление тут и нельзя назвать невероятно плавным, как в в каких-нибудь японских шедеврах, но концептуально это всё же по-настоящему Инновационная смесь платформеров-коллектатонов типо Марио, Соника, ещё и с элементом "Crazy Taxi" и ретро-вайбом,
Вдумайтесь, вы маленькая такси-машинка на островках-городах, и у вас даже нету кнопки прыжка❗ Но у нас есть кнопка разгона, находя скалистую или "крышевидную" поверхность даже под микро-наклоном (любое выкривление в полу), мы можем разгонаться ввысь и тем самым достичь более высокой платформы, ну.. не совсем без прыжка, конечно.. нас потом научат делать крохотный подпрыг, после которого можно также ускориться в воздухе, и вообще если вы не долетели, то можно немного зацепиться за край, главная же проблема, что вы никак не сможете сделать 2 ускорения подряд, так что надо рассчитывать прыжок заранее, но, в целом, геймплей достаточно казуальный из 2/3 кнопок, "на дурачка" проходится всё без проблем, хотя и пару интересных мув-сетов игра предложит, а, ну ещё встретятся строительные платформы, которые будут сами вас подбрасывать, и один прыжковый собрирательный "пауэрап",
Локации делятся на 2 типа - полу-открытый мир, где чтобы нас не бекнуло на чекпоинт и не отобрало собранные деньги, нам надо постоянно пополнять таймер, подвозя прохожих, или собирая летающие таймеры, или собирая много тех же монеток (кст при остановке машинки таймер замедляется),
И коридорные локации типо лобби - дома или лаборатории "Морио", в которых нас не будет мучать тикающее время, но в которых также можно будет дополнительно подсобрать кол-вол коллектиблсов, которых тут 3 типа:
1 - деньги для шапок (теряем при падении, при обнулении таймера, собрать ещё раз в тех же местах нельзя, но в опр. местах можно и перефармливать, например их дают за разрушение каждых 50 построек на пути)
2 - более ценные внеземные "Гири", которые нам необходимы для открытия всех локаций, их нужно меньше половины, это совсем не сложно, а для платины их более 2 сотен,
3 - это ещё более редкие "Кролики", за которые дадут какой-то бонус после прохождения игры, но я нигде не собрал всех, скорее всего это просто ещё доп. "Гири",
Сразу зачистить всё не получится, естественно, после открытия кое-чего по сюжету, вы сможете исследовать новые пути на старых локациях, и даже новые мини-локации внутри локаций,
Юмор очень простой и прямолинейный, обычно я такое не люблю, но прям найдена идеальная пропорция, чтобы не слишком, но иногда можно было бы и "орнуть" (англ. язык тут на уровне 2 класса не бойтесь), так что не скипайте диалоги пассажиров, удивила также езда под водой, машинки-тараны, и что длинной шапкой (дающейся за то, что игру много людей добавляло в вишлист) можно собирать монетки)
Разочаровали только локации, кроме начального острова, остальные как-то не цепляли / недостаточно красочные что-ли, и не удивляли сеттингом, а сюжет про супербабушку Морио и злодея, завёзшего инопланетную заразу обсуждать, думаю, нет смысла, но тем не менее - это, бесспорно, одна из самых интересных игр 2024 года.

p.s. Отсылка на "Pizza Possum" на Пицца-локации порадовала.

Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom! is a well-oiled machine.

If I were to whittle down YTGV to a catch-all sentence, I’d call the game “Mario 64 Meets Crazy Taxi”. You explore open sandbox style worlds full of gears to collect, and in certain levels, you’re set to a timer and need to carry locals to their destination.

As the player of a 3D platformer, you're always placed in the driver position of your character. How you operate this vehicle is dictated by the toolkit the developers hand you. Typically, the most common place tool would be your jump.

Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom! does not have a dedicated jump button.

Of course, there is a way to jump. Like any car, the optimal way to gain height is to cancel your spin out and flip your vehicle over and into the air. This spin move normally allows you to dash forward, which helps with verticality when you're on an incline. You can cancel twice before a cooldown timer takes its effect, but if you land on a surface, you'll regain that charge.

You’d think that’d be all your tools but put a stop on your brakes: there’s more than meets the eye here.

Before you shoot up an incline, if you tap the A button at the right moment, you’ll soar even higher than before. Similar to Mario Odyssey’s diving onto Cappy tech, this move is a game changer for your traversal. Your tiny little taxi car mind as well become a full-blown plane with the amount air you gain.

You could casually drive through YTGV without this move, but the game calls for you to keep searching for more goodies to collect. Whether that collectible be the main gears, an assortment of cash, or the many silly hats, each have given me the drive to 100% complete this game. YTGV rewards veterans of 3D platformers with depth of skill to master, along with grit to tightly crafted end game levels.

There’s a specific tone cast upon YTGV. A vibe that reflects what I think was the mindset of the developers making this: silly, wacky, feel good, fun. You can tell the developers aren’t native English speakers, so dialogue often comes out in bizarre ways that’s comical within its own right. This also translates to the random insertion of memes and references throughout the game coming across as insane non-sequiturs. Normally this would be a problem for me, but the game is just so charming from just how much fun the developers are having that I can’t help myself from smiling too. Punchy synths reverberate out your car speakers, sunny beach side views with bright blue skies, the good times are here to stay with YTGV.

I think YTGV embodies what it means to be a video game. Fun, dumb, stupid, addicting, nonsense. I’m not sure I’d crown YTGV with the title of “Most Video Game Video Game To Ever Video Game”, as that title has hard competition, but it’s most certainly in the running.

Absolutely batshit from the word go and keeps up that insane energy for almost 10 hours. Controls like a dream, buttery smooth and completely effortless to pull off cool shit. Super easy to pick up and play, but it's got layers and layers of depth for those that want it. Tons of fun gimmicks and experimental levels. Gorgeous art direction, especially on low resolutions. Music is a bop. Dopamine levels off the charts.

It's basically a shitpost and it somehow stands toe to toe with Mario. Goddamn.