Reviews from

in the past


Played this game originally on xbox, and if you want to play it there you'll probably have an ok time.
Sadly, I can't manage to play this game on PC, so I have to base my review on a faint memory of it.

While there are some really crazy ideas in the game for player interaction with the world, most of the time they end up being artificial and a point of frustration for the player, who is fighting the controls to do basic interactions. Then of course - we have the 2nd part of the game that suddenly turns the game from a linear third person game to a grindy -semi-open world, as the player is forced to collect certain amount of resources before being able to progress.

Listen. This game sucks ass. I'm rating it 5 stars because this might be one of the best shitty games ever made. I've never laughed harder than when I streamed through the city escape driving section with my wife. The ambition of this title is constantly butting heads with how poorly the game is constructed and every impact causes something extremely unexpected and funny to happen. Bless this mess.

This game really makes you feel like the Lightbringer, it really makes you feel like THE FUCKING UNIVERSE

From what I remember: unique, unusually detail-oriented to a fault, and janky stick-based fighting. Not gonna go back to it.


This review contains spoilers

I'M THE LIGHTBRINGER, I'M THE FUCKING UNIVERSE!!!!!

Some dev of this game was like who cares if it runs at 12 frames at best we are going to nail manual blinking. Fuck the rest of this shit.

If you like cock and ball torture and Sonic '06 unironically you will be at home here.

what alan wake 2 wishes it could be

O pior jogo que tive o desprazer de tentar jogar. Movimentação engessada, diversos problemas de colisão, falta de legendas, falta de clareza nas instruções, ele consegue ser ruim em absolutamente tudo. Prefiro uma dor de dente do que recomendar isso a alguém.

This review contains spoilers

Carnby wakes up after like a hundred years has passed, has amnesia, however the one thing he does remember is how to operate a forklift.

(Version de ps2 y wii)
el primo norteño de shattered memories donde resuelves puzzles disparando a cosas y haciendo puentes a circuitos.
Me hice un bloc notas con todo lo notable del juego pero la verdad lo único importante que puedo decir en texto es que este juego hubiera sido millones de veces mejor si funcionara por completo en primera persona, se concentrara en su plataformeo, puzzles y ambiente.

Literalmente solo hay un grupo de enemigos en todo el juego que tiene que vencerse, uno solo, el resto del tiempo los enemigos solo son para matar el tiempo a veces se buggean y dejan de atacar.

Awful, just awful. Nothing about this game is good. Gave it a chance and played for a couple hours. Terrible music, controls, story, mechanics, graphics.

Never have I ever experienced controls as miserable as this game.
Do not play the PC version of this game, it's safe to say that this is definitely the worst version.
The fps would drop constantly (on my gaming laptop), the game would crash if you tried to access display options, there's a fix for it online but it simply isn't worth it.
The story was nice but the controls were just way to bad. They were awkward, they would lag, they were just flat out bad.
Play the Xbox 360 version or PS3 version, they are much better.

Muitos falam que Alone in the Dark (2008) é um dos piores jogos já produzidos e sendo bem sincera?

Eles estão certos.

This game feels underrated and left aside. Hit during the survival-horror boom of the time and had it released any earlier or later (with refining), I think it could have been an all timer.

Alone in the Dark attempts to revitalize the classic survival horror franchise with a blend of puzzle-solving, action, and a mysterious, Lovecraftian-inspired story. The game boasts impressive visuals for its time and an intriguing narrative about a haunted mansion and forgotten secrets. However, its execution falls short with clunky controls, frustrating combat sequences, and some obtuse puzzle design. While ambitious in scope, Alone in the Dark ultimately feels like an unpolished gem, offering moments of intrigue but hampered by technical shortcomings.

Zerei com meu primo muitos anos atrás e lembro que nos divertimos muito.

Resident Evil 4 if it was made by people who actually cared

cambie el FFX original por esta wea mala

Por alguna razon la version de play 2 es buenisima, pero en otras plataformas es INJUGABLE, de las mejores experiencias con jueguitos de terror la verdad, ojala hicieran mas juegos asi.

Let’s not pretend as if we can’t put aside shitty story for sick gameplay when RE4 who’s script was written in a matter of weeks is one of the highest rated games on this site. The physics based puzzles shit all over your typical “get object for locked door” survival horror puzzles that are shamelessly spammed all over the place and don’t receive half as much flack, even figuring out fighting the enemies is more puzzle-like as you have to create makeshift weaponry either with actual crafting or grabbing furniture and putting the enemies to sleep with them, it’s all about on the spot improvisation and it’s sick.

I already had a high opinion on the 7th-gen but this game cemented it as one of my favorites, the more I delve into it’s library the more I notice how many elements it shares with the 6th and yet the contrast between their receptions couldn’t be any wider, I am asking this genuinely, where did all the people who enjoyed the 6th-gen go? I feel like if some of the more praised titles from that gen were to release during the 7th they’d face just as harsh of a reception. The most common complaint you hear about the state of gaming now is how everything plays the same and there’s a distinct lack of creativity, well, what the fuck did any of you expect would happen when the moment any game experimented and didn’t go with the design trends of the time, it was met with lackluster reception, one dogged on title after another mixed in with the sharp increase of development costs pretty much killed creativity in this medium for good unless some miracle happens.

Здесь все механики здраво работают на идею приключения-выживания, но технически ни одну из них не доделали - играть больно. Да и к концу игры даже общее ведние смылось в помойку и остался только какой-то бессмысленный дроч.

Ruim q dói esse aqui. Infelizmente foi meu primeiro contato com Alone in the Dark, n poderia ter sido pior.

Ruim.
Mano, só isso, uma ruim
Alone tendo sua sindrome de Resident Evil, largando a origem e essência pra virar ação generico com monstrinho, mas diferente de RE q é muito bom como jogo individual, esse jogo é tenebroso.
Graficos ok, uma mecanica de fogo interessante, uma historia com potencial, uma gameplay ridicula, uma camera cagada e acima de tudo, um porte absurdamente fudido
O jogo crasha quando vc entra nas opções, framerate instavel, e o a buceta do jogo não tem nem legenda mano.
Assim, legenda mano....kkkkk
Meu inglês é bom, mas não tenho um ouvido bom pra simplesmente retirar a legenda e ir so no audio, pq karalhas num tem legenda?
Nem sei pq eu zerei essa porra, não recomendo, as vezes a força do odio é muito forte
Paguei 9REAIS nesse porra, cara, pego essa dinheiro e compra uma coca gelada no verão, vai te deixar bem mais satisfeito
Tem jogo que vale a pena pela curiosidade, tem jogo q vale a pena pq é foda, tem jogo q vale a pena só pq sim, tem jogo que é tão ruim q é engraçado, e tem esse jogo que é ruim, bugado e sem graça
Isso aqui não vale seu tempo e nem seu dinheiro
Assim, ce voce olha umas gameplay no youtube, parece ate legal, pq tem umas ideias de mecanicas que são interessantes, o foda é quando voce coloca o controle/mouse na mão pra tentar jogar
Em resumo, é simplesmente um game ruim com ideias interessantes, sinceramente? não vale a pena

Acho que é o único jogo na minha vida que abandonei e agradeço todos os dias por ter feito isso. Infelizmente conseguiram estragar essa série de uma maneira quase irreversível.


From the moment I started to play Alone in the Dark (2008), it was love at first sight. When I first got control of my character, and found out that there was a whole mechanic where the main character had to manually blink to refocus their vision, I knew that this was the start of something special. When I got a taste of… basically everything to do with actually playing the game, I knew that this was going to give me brainworms long, long after I beat it. I love stupid garbage survival horror. I love games that really think they’re pushing the grain when they’re really just doing what everybody else is doing except badly. And I love games with no self-awareness — I love things that have just so much earnestness, that really think they’re going for something, and also have the budget and backing so that I don’t feel like I’m picking on the little guy. This is the type of thing I only get to play, like, once a year, maybe a bit more. I have to treasure them where I can, and… man this thing was a fucking gem.

You play as Edward Carnby, an amnesiac who wakes up in modern-day New York with a gun to his head. While his captors clearly have ill intentions for him, they don’t get to act them out — for they are then intercepted and eaten by malevolent cracks in the floor. While trying to escape the rapidly falling apart building, he learns two things: that the cracks in the floor turn people into zombies, and that these zombies are looking for a mystical stone: one they are under the impression that he has. Meeting up with art dealer Sarah Flores and priest… “Theophile,” they manage to escape the building, only to find that the outside is in just as much chaos, and that sinister forces have been waiting for Carnby to awake for many, many years...

And God it’s amazing. This is a game that cribs from every survival horror popular at the time into some weird amalgamation with the sole purpose of following what’s trendy. The game is absolutely obsessed with action setpieces and sections where you must scale the environment. Every sentence is littered with swear words as if it automatically makes the dialogue that much better. The game pretends like it’s connecting itself to the previous Alone in the Dark games, as if that’ll change the fact that this is completely alien to the series it’s trying to “reboot” if it weren’t for the title, but then it manages to get basic information about the series wrong. Combat is just… incredible. The zombies you go up against only die permanantly when they come into contact with the fire scattered across the landscape, but the only way to actually make them touch the fire is to stun them with the game’s incredible melee combat and drag their bodies over to the flames… but also you can only pull enemies. You can’t push them. If you want to drag them into the flames you have to walk through them yourself. You could also drop a flaming weapon on them (or, like, just hit them with a flaming weapon, but also the game sure likes not letting you attack half the time when you have a flaming weapon for some reason) but… also enemies don’t run faster than you and you never need to backtrack, so, like, why try fighting in the first place? You can just run past them no problem. The game’s really generous with checkpoints and you heal to full every time you come back so, like, there’s no real need to manage resources or anything.

And even with sections that would otherwise be rather unpleasant, that general sense of ‘oh my god, this is a trash fire, it’s so amazing’ really managed to dull whatever pain there might have been. There’s an early part I was directly warned about, where you have to drive a taxi to Central Park while the city collapses around you, and it’s… truly something. The car you’re driving turns absolutely horribly (which, uh, isn’t great from a company that specializes in racing games), and the time you have before any given section kills you is incredibly strict, which means that if you get stuck on the environment, sandbagged by another car, if you accidentally drift too far, or if your game happens to crash, you have to do the whole ~three-minute section right from the beginning. It’s very obviously not great (and, given that you’re allowed to skip ‘scenes’ a la a DVD menu, there’s really no reason to actually do it), but even then it honestly just became a fun challenge, me replaying it… way more times than I honestly should’ve until I finally made it to the end. There’s also a persistent mechanic regarding instakill purple goo on the floor that can only be repelled by light. While later sections involving the goo give you tools to trivialize it, the first one requires you to use your flashlight in a way that’s… decidedly inconsistent — sometimes the goo just won’t go away even when you flashlight it, sometimes you get killed even when it isn’t touching you — but every time you restart it you get this unskippable, really funny cutscene where a bit NPC succumbs to the goo, and it became funnier every single time I was forced to watch it.

Unfortunately, the honeymoon period ended. It wasn’t that it got old, it was more that the game switched things up to actually just be really frustrating and unfun. The game decides to just spam enemies at you, and also gates progression behind understanding mechanics the game never told you about and that you never needed to know beforehand. The “resource management” part of the game goes from being a pointless addition to an active frustration, as you need certain items in order to complete certain puzzles but also you only get a limited amount of the items you need and also you have to shuffle your inventory and drop useless shit you don’t need and it’s such a slog, even when the puzzle itself is relatively straightforward. This culminates near the end when the game decides that actually it wants to be an open-world experience, stopping the game in its tracks and forbidding you from progressing until it deems you’ve wasted enough time you collect enough “spectral vision” in order to see the way to the end. Cue more annoying puzzles, cue more enemy spam, cue more annoying encounters, and more specifically, cue more resource management: as the way to get spectral vision is to destroy tentacles across the map, and the only way to destroy these tentacles is to blow them up: this then means that you have to find the tools you need to blow them up… wherever they are on the map. Better hope that the visual distortion that’s around every tentacle doesn’t mess up your shot, ‘cause if you do, you’re going to be spending a loooooooooong time scrounging around for more bottles.

So… yeah. That whole section of the game sucks. It at least ends on a high note, though. After you’re done with the stupid grinding section, it’s back to the gold standard the first half of the game set: really silly design decisions, a story that’s just a joy to watch unfold, and gameplay that’s mostly just… fun, in a stupid way. I recognize, maybe, that this is a thing that may not appeal to everybody — and that my brain is poisoned in such a way that I can find bad things just as entertaining and worthwhile as good things — but… honestly, even if the game goes too long, and even if the second half of the game takes a pretty major nosedive, I still love this game. Absolutely recommend it. 2/10.

I was a kid and had this game on one hand and Last Story on the other and went with this one. I wanted to like this but, this game is a mess and I would say is even worse than Sonic 06 on how buggy it is

Extremely ambitious and interesting game, but fails to succeed in pulling off much of what its going for. There is a universe where this game is incredible and innovates the horror genre, but we do not live in that dimension.

This is such a wee time capsule of a game. Its filled with ideas they thought would be revolutionary at the time; weird constant perspective changes, slow motion shooting, oddly skipping through parts of the game like a video tape, wobble heavy physics that make dead bodies and doors freak out, clicking a button to blink, and STICK OPERATED MELEE COMBAT.

The highlight of playing this was me and my friend repeatedly failing the opening section and laughing cause the man did a funny animation.