Hey y’all, I’m on vacation, so I guess I’ll make it a habit to play Cartoon Network games while on vacation.

Adventure Time used to be my favorite cartoon when I was a kid, and was the first story that really showed kid me the power of long-form storytelling and consistent emotional storytelling. Sadly, as I grew older and after creator Pendleton Ward left the show, the show slowly drowned in mediocrity, piling on lore dump after lore dump and new character after new character instead of fleshing out their existing story and characters. They made Bubblegum and Jake unlikable, put Finn through an unnecessary amount of emotional suffering for no reason, and after the whole “Fern” thing I dropped the show. Maybe I’ll rewatch the show and finish it properly one day, but considering shit like Distant Lands, the show may never truly end.

Anyways, the game is in this awkward position of trying to channel the immature and childish energy of the first couple seasons despite containing characters from the later better seasons like Flame Princess, and treating Ice King like a goofy villain instead of the understandably tragic villain he should be by this point. Marceline especially is the most out of character, treating Ice King with contempt rather than sympathy. As far as the story itself, it plays like one big season one episode, where Ice King does something inconvenient and therefore evil, and Finn and Jake gotta stop him and help random denizens along the way. Basic but inoffensive, save for some cringeworthy dialogue.

HIKWYSOG (holy shit why did they name it that) is a Zelda 2 clone by WayForward. As a kid, this was one of my all time favorite games, but with the benefit of having actual taste now as an adult, this game is just good. Not great, just good. The best part is the presentation. WayForward went to great lengths recreating the Land of Ooo in 2D sidescrolling Zelda 2 fashion. The backgrounds and overworld are great, the sprite work is incredible, and especially the music is surprisingly good. Jake Kaufman didn’t have to go so hard on that cloud level song but he did.

Finn and Jake control well enough, nothing feels bad, although Jake has this long punch that’s utterly useless as soon as you get your sword. Combat is alright, the sound effects are swooshy and pretty satisfying, though the knockback is annoying, especially on vertical stages. Enemies are basic, nothing unique or challenging: just throw yourself at them until they die. Level design is okay, it’s kinda metroidvania-y in that you return to certain areas later with new traversal powers. The shield is underwhelming but the glide and rolling across water is a lot of fun.

The biggest issues with the game are items, backtracking, and progression. First off, there’s no money; it’s an exclusive item economy. Enemies will drop healing or buffing items and you can hold like 50 items. By the end of the first hour I had long since filled my inventory and needed to toss low level food items just to make room. I was able to throw myself at enemies and bosses alike with no fear of death because anytime I’d get low, I’d just consume. I never ran risk of running out once. And buffing items? I’d use every once in a while, but I felt most were unnecessary. More damage? I already kill most enemies in a second. Invincibility? I got healing items, thanks. Speed? I used a couple of those if only to make the backtracking less tedious. The game is one big series of fetch quests, and it gets too same-y too fast. You unlock some shortcuts, but there’s no fast travel and your map is low detail as fuck. Backtracking would be more bearable if combat leveled you up a la Zelda 2… but it doesn’t. You level up by finding the twelve hidden stars that permanently increase stats one increment at a time. So why exactly should I get into combat if combat gives me nothing useful after the first hour? The enemies are easy to avoid so I just swerved past them all. Bosses are okay, none really challenging or complex, but their music goes hard. Marceline gets her own vocal track, Ice King’s boss fight is a remix of the main theme (a vocal track that also rocks) and the secret final boss has a goddamn Cristina Vee Shantae vocal track like c’mon dude why’s the soundtrack so good?

HIKWYSOG is a serviceable and slightly memorable romp you can take for a few hours, but I don’t think I’ll return to it outside the soundtrack. It’s great for a licensed game, but that bar’s as low as Adventure Time’s episode count is high. Especially when we get to the next WayForward Adventure Time game…