To me this is the absolute peak of the franchise. Its enormous ambition never fails to impress, everything from gameplay, to the environments and the story is bigger than ever. Admittedly the game is far from perfect, some sections of the game (looking at you Saejima) have pretty bad pacing and the story gets a bit too complicated for its own good. The game doesn't always know how best to convey its message, but damn it knows exactly what it wants to say and I can't help but admire that. Yakuza 5 may stumble more than some of the other games in the franchise, but it never stops chasing its dream and for that it's my favorite.

Also Shinada my beloved please come back... I miss you :(

It's not Kiryover yet. Look, he brought back two of his friends as leads, they really gonna believe they Like A Dragon at this rate. Yay I made the jokes at the start and subverted expectations let's get right into the meat no balls out. The year... is... I can't keep up, but that fella Shinada reminded me right at the end with his baseball sob story: we're in year 17 after A. N (I make it sound like Nishiki is Jesus), Kiryu is having his mid-life crisis (again) and Haruka is having her rebellious teen phase. Not rly she's a doll, maybe too much so (not my Haruka 😤), point is she packed her things and left a bunch of kids in the care of... huh, in my head they're taken care of by Mikio but my main issue with Yakuza is how important and likeable characters just vanish after one entry. Yakuza 0 Will Change Everything.

It took me almost as long to finish the game than the time Saejima spent in jail! Unlike him, I won't do my time twice. It's cute that they make you believe Majima died off-screen for so long. I kind of wish they kept that lie up to then follow the game with Majima as the protagonist of 0. Would it change anything for me, late Yakuza bloomer? No, I just crave chaos. If I wanted peace, I'd play Haruka dancing and singing for a good chunk of the game. Mayhaps I'd rope Akiyama into dancing some more.

There are a few awesome boss fights, but I feel confident in saying the combat has only been in a downward slope since 3. The final boss of the game is the worst fight in the series so far, and I do not say those words lightly. Shame, because it's a good character that ended up butchered by every aspect of the game it seems, right at the end. They sure like their twists, and add a few loose ends to the mix. All for what? Another ending where Kiryu seemingly dies? That shit lowkey hilarious I hope it happens again next time.

So many new locations, though. Yakuza is taking us for a grand tour of Japan. From beating up bears with garbage, to a giant Hatsune Miku snowoman... 💯

Now this is a Yakuza game!

This feels to me like a more perfected version of Yakuza 4. Almost everything I didn't like about this game has been severely scaled back or removed entirely, leaving a peak Yakuza experience just before 0, the legacy game that you probably shouldn't start with yet everyone does anyway. Once again, multiple protagonists, and I'm gonna rank em.

Part 1: Kiryu is great

The story starts with Kiryu in Fukuoka, taking up a job as a taxi driver while Haruka is off following her dream. As is expected at this point, some bullshit relating to the Tojo's struggles appears at Kiryu's doorstep and he needs to rejoin the Yakuza to get to the bottom of it. Daigo goes missing in the middle of a power struggle in the Omi Alliance, and the plot is Kiryu piecing things together. It's great, especially seeing Kiryu learn to handle a new life away from the orphanage. As well as that, the taxi minigame is great too! It's basically that joke of 'play GTA but act like a regular citizen' and it's great stuff (minus those suicidal pedestrians like what is up with them) as well as the drag races that occur later on, with all the characters of Kiryu's taxi service being likable characters. Like with 4, 10/10 opening, I loved it. But now we go back to Saejima, yayyyyy...

Part 1: Wait, Saejima's good now?

Saejima's story is about him breaking out of prison (again) It's more interesting than 4, and like Kiryu, it's cool learning about the other inmates. There is some weird pacing with the imagination segments, but it's fine, I guess it's the only way they could fit in combat. Speaking of which, Saejima has fun combat now! He has armour on a lot of his attacks, as well as a larger health pool, actually conveying through gameplay that this is a big man not to be fucked with. But after you escape, you end up in a mountain village, in a sequence of walking through snow and shitty hunting tutorials, and if you were in a Discord server with me, you know I didn't enjoy, especially when hunting and trapping were two separate tutorials that really could have been one. But after that, you get to Sapporo! And my god, a city with side content? Saejima sidequests? Not getting chased down by the cops? It's all I ever wanted! But anyway, while the main plot does become an annoying fetch quest for a bit, it's still super fun to play as Saejima. His section gets a 7/10, the first half is still kinda lame.

Part 3: Wait, this is critical path content?

The next stage is Haruka, now trying to become an Idol. So naturally, this is a rhythm game now. At first, I was into it. The streets are littered with dance battles you can do, and the minigame was kinda fun. But it gets repetitive real fast. A lot of the game is training for the princess league, with you doing the routine of the same songs over and over, alongside some boring side stuff like greeting fans and interviews, so I did end up skipping basically all the side content here. But the story is good. Haruka's staff are all good characters, and it does add enough backstory and intrigue to the main plot that I was invested. One thing I will say is how docile Haruka is now. She was never super aggressive, but she did have a backbone and some of Kiryu's stronger tendencies clearly rubbed off on her in previous games, like when she slapped Mine in Yakuza 3 and did everything she could to protect the orphans. But now? She just kind of accepts shit from rivals like t-set. I get she has to act professional, but even an internal monologue of 'Yo, FUCK these bitches!' would have gone a long way. But overall, I'd give the whole act a 6/10. But regardless, she shares her act with another character, which leads me to...

Part 4: I FUCKING LOVE SHUN AKIYAMA!!!!!!!!

Shun Akiyama opens a branch of his money lending business in Osaka, where Haruka's plot is going down. So he lends his aid to the squad, piecing together the plot as he goes. And he's still a legend, basically everything I loved about him in 4 remains, now with aerial combat because RGG studios knew they weren't beating the Sanji allegations so just rolled with it. But he adds a great deal to Haruka's plot as he figures out the mysteries of her agency. 10/10 again, this guy's a legend.

Part 5: Hey, a new guy

The new character here is Shinada, a former baseball player forced to quit, learning there was some shady business behind what went down in his life. He's a funny guy, a constantly broke loser who makes money by getting laid a bunch (I mean doesn't sound too bad) while fighting more with weapons (I cheesed so much shit with the infinite durability pole you have no idea) his side thing is a baseball sidequest which I didn't bother with, but his plot is fun. All about teaming up with the people he owes money to to uncover the conspiracy behind his baseball career and how it ties into the main plot. 9/10, he's great.

Part 6: You tried your best with that finale, guys.

So, all the parties come together, the plots in motion. It's time to finish this.
The finale actually starts strong, with everyone getting together in Kamorocho and heading out to stop the villain's scheme, with only the rooftop plot point being really dumb (It's a rooftop with no camera, just wait and bait him out, dumbasses) before the finale. Akiyama, Saejima, and Shinada all get decent final boss fights, but the main villain turns out to be unable to fight, working to give his gains to the TRUE final boss...who I barely remembered. Hell, when Kiryu confronts him and asks what he's doing, he responds with 'I don't know'. even the game knows it's an asspull, but you confront him...and then watch a jpop performance...then you fight him. And the fights pretty good, the narrative weight just isn't really there. 8/10

So overall, it's pretty damn good. Next up is the last of the Kiryu saga (and Gaiden but that seems to be Yakuza 6.5) so I'm looking forward to that