Reviews from

in the past


There's a moment near the very end of this game that I think really epitomizes Simon's Quest for me. You're going up to Dracula's Castle again.... and it's quiet. Nobody's home, just the eerie ruins of a place you once passed through long ago. There's no real twist to it either, it's just played straight. You walk in, unceremoniously kill Dracula, and that's it. It leaves this sort of hollow feeling, a deep reminiscence of the Castlevania that once was.

Simon's Quest is the most interesting kind of sequel to me, one that seeks to completely invert and upend the status quo of the original game. If the original Castlevania was about a methodical seige to defeat evil and save the day, then Simon's Quest is a showcase of the genuine aftermath shadowing such a task. Even after defeating Dracula, Simon doesn't have much of anything to return to. The world that he supposedly "saved" is completely dead looking, and he's left with a curse that's constantly eating away at his body. It's a premise that lies in stark contrast to the elating feeling that came with beating the first game, almost as if we've been kicked down and mocked despite our greatest efforts and supposed victories.

Simon's Quest is a game I'd consider to be genuinely brilliant and forward thinking, but not everyone seems to agree with me. Perhaps there couldn't be more fitting fate for it. A game reviled and dismissed by most, just as its hero is left with nothing but bitterness and decay.

Pathologic for people who actually have things going on in their lives instead of watching two hour video essays

I've had this game on my backlog for a very long time, dreading to actually play it. At the same time, the longer I leave it the longer I don't get to experience the rest of the Castlevania franchise - yes I am that person that needs to play every mainline title in a series in order - so quite frankly if I never did play it, Simon's Quest would have successfully gatekept me from this iconic Konami franchise.

I've picked this game up in the past and dropped it after endless headaches, and getting stuck and unlimited frustration. This time I just swallowed my pride and said fuck it. I played using a guide and some savestates to beat this shit in about 2 hours and finally get it over and done with.
I can gladly say that I am so happy I just swallowed the pill and finally finished it because I am never playing this piece of shit again. I am so happy I can move onto Castlevania III and IV.

If you lived on the internet during the 2000s, I don't think I need to explain what is so bad about this game. But to give you my version of it; what I loved about the original Castlevania, while it was hard as balls, it was a game you could just pick up, play though some levels and beat the game in about 2 hours if you're good enough. You don't need any guides, there's no bullishit. You walk to the right, whip skeletons and bats, beat the boss at the end - next level and you're done. Anyone can pick it up.
Somehow Konami said "Nah that was shit - let's just change the formula for the sequel" and made a cryptic open world with annoying sections where you're prone to get stuck, the worst mechanics introduced in a video game and boring/cheap copy paste bullshot level design with extended padding and some annoying JRPG grinding. If you don't play this with a guide for the first time, you are a masochist.

I am so happy that this game is no longer a looming pain in my backlog and I can finally get to the good Castlevania shit. Thank you video game guides and emulators for making this a little more bearable.

Castlevania II: Simon's Quest is a really interesting game, no doubt.

Unlike the original, Simon's Quest decides to be an action-adventure, where you travel through many areas across Transylvania, in a non-linear fashion, to fight monsters, talk to townspeople, and uncover Mansions where the five pieces of Dracula reside.
All of this while there's an in-game timer, that while doesn't have a limit, makes the game have a day and night cycle, where certain elements change whether it's day or night.

This structure has been bashed by many people for being convoluted, cryptic and feeling like you easily get lost.

While I don't oppose those people's comments, the matter of the fact is... I had fun with this one.

It's not as good as the original, yes, but I really like the vibe of this game.
Unless I'm mistaken, I don't think there's ever been a Castlevania game where you go through towns, forest and mansions in a free-form fashion like this.
Even the Search Action/Metroidvania games that we would see in the future, like Symphony of the Night, always made you run around a giant castle, but never (or barely) outside.

While a lot of the NPCs in the towns say useless things, some of them do give you clues to what you should be getting to proceed. Additionally, there's also some textbooks you can find in cryptic places of the world that give you more hints at progression.
And the towns can also have churches, that help you heal yourself back up, which were a godsend (pun not intended).

The day and night system can make it so you can't talk to any of the townsfolk or go inside any buildings, which does suck, but at least I get the opportunity to grind for hearts from the Zombies that constantly appear in them.

Hearts in this game, while they're still ammunition for some of the sub-weapons that you get in your journey, they're also currency to buy many of the items you need to progress.
You also have lives in this game, and if you lose them all, that's a Game Over, which doesn't push you far, but makes you lose all your hearts, which makes it so you have to grind again.

BUT... if you're able to not get many Game Overs, if at all, besides the beginning of the game, you should rarely need to grind, which is nice!

The music in this game is really nice to the ears! It might be a bit limiting, but the tracks were so good, that it didn't get repetitive for me. Bloody Tears was introduced in this game, and it's awesome, one of my favourite Castlevania tracks, bar none.

The graphics themselves aren't that much better than the first game, but I do like the detail that the backgrounds have, especially as you go along, and they start changing seasons, from Spring all the way to Winter.

This game has its problems, yes, but even in spite of them, I had fun going through Castlevania II: Simon's Quest, and I wish they made a game like this again, just with stuff like a map and better dialogue, and stuff.

Honestly really liked this one, while the first game is more iconic, this game has some great music and feels a lot better to control. The dungeons are decently designed and the game is just fun in general, but it’s cryptic so you’ll need a guide.

Only gripes here are the length of the nights (as you can’t buy items or heal during these periods) and the grind to get hearts. Otherwise, it’s a decent game.


I can't stop thinking about the contrast between the start of this game and it's ending; you leave the first town and are met with one of the most gorgeous forward-moving themes of video game music ever in Bloody Tears, and you end the game through a slow, uninterrupted walk through Dracula's castle to meet what truly is a pathetic boss fight. Whereas the ending of the first game is incredibly hype for being able to surmount the challenge that it poses, here you're almost given the win outright, and that's it. The fanfare is gone, and you're left to witness the three possible futures that all don't seem very different from each other.

Even if I spent more time reading a guide then playing the actual game, I still enjoyed it enough. The cryptic nature of the game is a bit too much though. Sort of mixed on this one. Also the music is incredible

I'm not doing this, I value the remains of my sanity.

Castlevania II is a surprisingly solid game overall, brought down by several frustrating aspects - most of which have been discussed at length many times over. Yes, the night transition message is annoying. The fake blocks are annoying. The obtuse progression and useless, cryptic messages are also annoying.

Honestly, I assumed that these factors combined would be enough to completely ruin the game but it didn't for me - not entirely. The moment-to-moment gameplay is largely quite satisfying, with responsive controls, good movement and a nice sense of progression as you gain more items and upgrades. The music is also top notch, though perhaps still the weakest of the original trilogy.

It doesn't stack up against Castlevania or Castlevania 3, but it's cool to see this early attempt to move away from level based action platforming toward the "metroidvania" style the series would eventually be known for and I ultimately had a good time with it.

Pretty cryptic and bullshit at times but its honestly a pretty ambitious game for its time. I'd only recommend using a guide for this but hey at least it probably inspired the other metroidvania games like SOTN.

I play this for about 30 seconds and then I get frustrated as all hell. I don't mind a game using a non-linear approach (hell, I'm playing Symphony of the Night at the same time and it's miles better than this), but the objectives in the game is always vague and where you're supposed to go is never clear. Couple that with cheap tricks like hidden floors and you have a very frustrating experience. If they only add an automap like SOTN had, then maybe it would clear some of these problems up.

I love James AVGN I really do, but I do think he gaslighted a whole online generation into thinking that this game was bad...

Eu sempre vejo as pessoas xingando e falando que esse jogo é o pior da franquia inteira principalmente o AVGN ,mas eu não acho ele tão ruim quanto dizem

Sim ele tem seus problemas que muitos dizem,os Bosses são muito fáceis se tiver pego os itens e os itens são muito difíceis para achar e tive que até ver vídeo na internet e a gameplay é bem sem sal, porém a trilha sonora é muito boa e tem uma ideia bacana

Ele não é um jogo ruim mas ele não minha de jogos de Castlevania como um jogo ok

Take what made Castlevania 1 enduring and remove it entirely, suddenly you have a game that is a complete mess, both gameplay and design wise.

Not to mention that beating this without a guide is flat out nearly impossible.

Just play the other two Castlevanias that were on NES.

Top liked reviews of this game are made by liars who wish to convince you that Castlevania II: Simon's Quest is a good game by inventing a better game in their heads to propagate around and somehow people are buying into it.
Actually try playing this game and watch as all the analytical dialogue you've experienced around this disappear in a heartbeat. And also go play a good Castlevania game.

They dared to change, just like Simon dared to rid himself of Dracula's affliction in the face of ridicule by his fellow townsfolk.

At the approach of midnight, I began my journey home, my boots trudging through the mud as I pumped my fists to the Dance of Monsters. The chill of the wind rustles through the trees as I keep myself at the ready, for any moment the skeleton or wolfman could walk out from the brush begging for death's sweet release by the hand of my mighty whip passed down to me by my ancestors. Upon entry to town the sunrise brings about temporary peace, wherein I decide to visit the local grocery and throw my bottled water at it's floor to reveal the garlic salesman hiding underneath the floorboards from minions of the Count who has decreed that garlic was illegal.

Perhaps I'm obsessed with the idea of pretending to be Simon, perhaps he really is just the world's biggest badass being able to beat Dracula by himself and then again later while he's dying of a curse placed on him by the same guy. You think I wouldn't want to role play as him?

A color palette of putrid dilapidation, reminiscent of Hammer horror films, a land that continues to be ravaged by monsters chaotically stalking about despite the Count's destruction. Simon himself now as pale as a ghost due to the curse that has been sapping away at him for the past seven years, a depressing tone for what should've been a peaceful reconstruction after our past victory. The last town in the game Ghulash is completely monochrome in color with only one person residing in it, showcasing the devastation that has expanded from Dracula's castle. The townsfolk talk in riddles and lies, done in either genuine good faith or as an act of sabotage to keep Simon from completing his quest for fear of Dracula's early return. The ringing of tears flowing from a ballroom mask echo across the land, a most legendary composition.

They say if you wish to follow up perfection, then you better hit strong, differently, or both.

As I have once said before, a game that becomes more enjoyable the more you replay is but a sign of perfection. For the original Castlevania it became more enjoyable as I grew quicker at conquering it from sheer skill, and for Simon's Quest it became more enjoyable as I grew more wary of it's tricks. Instead of a test of strength, it is a test of shrewdness and clever understanding. Whereas the original opted to try and beat you into the grave, Simon's Quest looks to baffle you with illusions and misdirection. Typos appaering, translations such as the Fist of the North Star reference getting turned into a weird shout out to the Galactic Empire's infamous space station, and signs of a rushed development seem to only help it, perhaps it is perfectly imperfect. A perfect sibling to what was a perfect game.

Maybe I am obsessed, maybe Dracula exists and he put a curse on me to forever defend Simon's Quest from the never ending ridicule that comes it's way thanks to videos that were made for humor back in the times of the ancients. Simon's last adventure now cursed to being used as the butt of a joke, and constantly used as a punching bag by armchair game designers. Those who hate are numerous, and me and my fellow Simon supporters are small in number, but we are steadfast and strong in our beliefs. We stand together in the face of hostility and look onward at the army in front of us, I unsheathe my whip, brandishing it in hand and turn to my allies with but two quiet words, "For Simon", I rush into the ensuing battle leading the charge into our forever war.

Our battle is never over, but despite our curse we forever fight to the bitter end just as a Belmont would.

Dracula, my friend, we sure are in quite the predicament; not only I’ve already defeated you three times each in different games, but it seems that you are quite the persistent rapscallion, and I need you to put you back together just to beat you yet again. Certainly an odd yet pretty fucking funny dance to have… but let’s make it memorable, shall we?

The first Castlevania is pretty straightforward in every sense of the word, a simple tale of a Vampire Killer that goes to Dracula’s lair to defeat him and free the land of Transylvania of its influence, and as many turns and ups and downs as that seemingly never-ending castle had, it still was a linear platformer. If that game attempted to realize a legend or a short myth made NES game, then this follow up tries to do the same for a full-fledged odyssey or saga, but even putting it that way makes it seem lesser than it really is, because in an era in which a surprising amount of sequels were already trying to differentiate themselves from their past outings, Simon’s Quest entirety identity and fundamental design, from the most visible of level lay-outs to the most hidden of secrets, revolves entirely around making Simon’s sad quest for what should have been his highest accomplishment a reality, no matter the cost.

I’ve never felt so conflicted about a game this much since… ever, now that I think about it; I struggle to point out parts of it that I truly enjoyed without also noticing stuff that irks me, I cannot mention definitive flaws without acknowledging that those manage to find some ways to work I adore, it’s a work I value, but also one I can’t really say for sure I enjoyed experiencing, and I cannot promise that I would have come out of this with my sanity intact if I didn’t use certain guides. Castlevania II is a game so unfathomably different to its original, so incomprehensibly ambitious, that I do not know if this is the result of an excellently creative mind or a completely mad one… perhaps both at the same time…

I think the subtitle of Simon’s Quest is the single most simple yet fitting string of words you could ever use to describe this, a true quest across the land of Transylvania with it’s riddles, monsters, secrets, weak to holy water walls and a mysterious ferryman that only brings you to were you need to go if you show him a heart and kneel, with it’s the single most metal thing I’ve ever seen in a NES game now that I think about it but I digress. The entirety of Transylvania is within a grey cartridge and the y and x axis, and it feels real, it shouldn’t, but it does: plagued by sessions changing between screens to make enemies respawn so you can farm hearts, the most of obscure and random of artificial steps you need to take so the game has mercy on your poor soul and lets you proceed, 2 feet deep lakes that immediately kill you unless you have a stone in hand so that the screen can move a bit down; all of this can be found in Simon’s Quest, and it’s as frustrating and mind numbingly complicated as it sounds, it’s not fun, but it somehow feels real.

Arriving at a town bathed in pale moonlight, a town with name and a place, you fight wraiths and dark spirits after the relief of the first sun rays of the dawn, which dissipate the evil for fleeting moments, letting the city breath in peace for the remaining of the day; the townsfolk mutter slowly, yet it feels too fast, to complicated to begin to understand it, others have very few to say, others sell, trade, and in some city even lie to you or spat out completely meaningless words, but after resting in the church (if you are lucky enough to encounter one), you leave once again, to the forests, depths and cemeteries of Transylvania, traversing terra ignota until you energy doesn’t let you act carelessly; perhaps you’ll get to another town, maybe you found the locations of one of the mansions, or maybe the night surrounds you once again, your enemies stronger and fiercer than before, and the only thing you can do is push forward. This, this right here, moments like these are were Simon’s quest has true meaning: the process of finding treasures and items that make you feel as if you were evolving, understanding the tricks and nonsense of Dracula’s curse in your favor, falling from invisible blocks time and time again but learning from it and getting stronger, beat the many mansions and getting Dracula’s remains thanks to the stakes and your own wit that has gotten you this far, and seeing the people of this land scream to you to get out of their town and how you made everything worse as you approach the remains of what was once the count’s Castle. In those moments where the game taps into the fullest potential of this open adventure, asking you to learn from it or fail, that is when Castlevania II achieves utter excellence… but by that you’d have to ignore pretty much everything else.

Beyond the occasional but very impactful slow-downs or the extremely samey aspect between pretty much every area, mansion and town besides the color palette, which are things that can be justified by how this is a entire open interconnected word running on a NinToaster (I had to throw out an AVGN reference at some point), Simon’s Quest fails in ways that put into jeopardy the very nature it tries to pursue. The design of the landscapes and dungeons themselves lack any of the intrigue and interesting architecture that the original had, and interesting enemy behavior has been thrown out the window in favor of different variables in the ways some approach you; bosses especially seem to have lost all the will to live despite never staying dead, and you know something’s up when that damage you more if you touch them than by their actual attacks, Dracula himself seems like the exception of all of this and the actual most challenging part of the adventure… until you start wailing on him… and you keep stunning him… and he just doesn’t move…. and the battle ends and you win… yeah… Simon’s Quest doesn’t really create challenge through interesting and complicated sections or enemy placement, but rather through endurance, how much patience you have to tackle the same enemies over and over again, how much you can you put up with ledge-jump after ledge-jump, with the only thing changing until the very end and in some very specific rooms being the damage you need to deal to defeat the enemies. The tricks of this land start to grow old and tired after a certain point, and those that don’t are to cryptic to discover them in the first place; I maintain that Transylvania feels real, yes, but does so while going through great lengths to sacrifice every possible aspect that could make it more engaging or fascinating to play beyond the base level, Simon’s Quest exists mostly to itself, but also for its torment, for Simon’s, for ours.

Simon’s Quest aimed for the stars and didn’t land among them, but it also didn’t quite miss, it’s out there, somewhere, occupying a weird space which can be both loved or hated, and in some cases both at the same time. I couldn’t end this review in good conscience without pointing out the many outstanding write-ups that many amazing people have done over here; Vee’s and poyfuh’s are outstanding analysis that value Simon’s Quest in a new light, while others like Kempocat’s view the reasons why the game fails while also recognizing its victories, and these are only a few examples, I’m beyond sure that this page is full of incredible analysis that bring new light to this game, each in a different way. I do no think there’ll ever be a point of consensus surrounding Simon’s Quest, nor I think I want it to, the passage of time has allowed the game to have more and more voices defending it, while others only see it as a mess speaking in moon runes (and rightfully so), and then there’s people kind of stuck in the middle, which I’m part of and I’m sure there are more like me that feel about this one similar to me, and maybe, by managing to create so many perspectives surrounding it, having so many possible interpretations and ways to see a game in which the characters only have one text-box of space to rely weird-ass info, maybe in a way, Castlevania II succeeds, and no matter what else could I say, both negative and even positive, I could never take that victory from it, and I’m so glad it has it…

… tho the endings being decided by how long you take to beat the game is weird as hell, like, ‘’Simon died because of his wounds after the battle’’, what are you talking about? I stun-locked the bastard with the golden knife for the entirety of the fight, the motherfucker didn’t even touch me!! What are you even on abou-

Um jogo que tentou adaptar a série, adicionando um aspecto mais RPG pra coisa. Ele é repleto de ideias interessantes, assim como de ideias horríveis...

No geral ele acaba perdido entre os primeiros Castlevanias justamente por esse estilo diferenciado que não se resume apenas a seguir em frente matando monstros, mas sim conversar com várias pessoas, recolhendo rumores que podem ou não ser verdade e explorar o mapa, fazendo e refazendo caminhos, para ir atrás desses rumores e prosseguir no jogo. Claro que essa mudança radical de gameplay acaba sendo bem incômoda para quem esperava algo similar ao seu antecessor.

Mas dizer que, no geral, eu gostei da base esquisita que montaram pra ele. Mas confesso que joguei usando um Walkthrough, pq ficar andando pra lá e pra cá, testando cada rumor, tendo que procurar cada passagem secreta/parede falsa ou bloco falso no cenário escondendo um NPC ou um livro de informação é simplesmente de foder!

Leveling system, a permanent inventory of items, weapon upgrades, a non-linear structure, a KILLER soundtrack, even multiple endings depending on your playtime à la Resident Evil ranks...

Is this game actually a masterpiece?

... No, but playing it with a guide makes it easy to see how they tried to do a LOT of cool stuff here. Keyword being "tried", as the shoddy translation and lack of an in-game map fail to elevate its non-linear aspirations.

Without a guide? Anal fissure!

I really did try with this one, I played through the entire game again and everything, but in the end I just do not find this an experience that I enjoyed or really found particularly engaging. This time the big thing I noticed was that both the best and worst aspects of the game stood out and affected me far more, but a lot of those more interesting elements ultimately just made me wish that the game as a whole was something I vibed with more. I appreciate weird left turns that happen before certain bits and pieces of a series' identity have been fully established, when they still exist in a strange, uncertain middle ground where expectations cannot yet be set in stone and there's a degree of malleability in what goes on. In a perfect world, this sort of freer approach to creation even within more well-established series would be more common, (though admittedly, Castlevania is pretty good with this), but I'll take what I can get and find appreciation in these types of games for existing even if I personally don't enjoy some of those individual titles.

In the case of Simon's Quest, I love the different type of hostility that the game utilises, where the biggest obstacle in Simon's path stems from the villagers' hatred towards him and their desire to hinder his goals, rather than the big scary monsters. Almost all the difficulty from this game stems from information on how to proceed being difficult to pin down, obscured by the vagueness and misinformation of what all those around you provide (something that was present even before the rough translation), with having to parse what is important information and what is meant to entirely throw you off, being led astray as often as being guided in the right direction. The main issue with this for me stems from the fact that the path forward is often so obtuse that it cheapens the experience when it feels as if there would be no way of figuring things out without extremely specific information provided, with trial and error only realistically being able to take you so far.

It also feels like the game is made in such a way to trip you up in ways that almost exclusively waste your time, such as the orb traders automatically swapping orbs upon talking to them, or losing your entire supply of hearts if you run out of lives, not really adding an interesting challenge and more creating new ways to waste your time. The mazelike layouts of the mansions have a similar negative effect on me, so much time just being spent walking around, dreary mansions trying to work out where to go and hoping that you find the stake merchant before finding the end. The limited danger you feel in most situations is both a blessing and a curse, but during these mansion sections, I'm far more inclined to say that the latter applies.

That said, the atmosphere felt by having all of these adversaries being nothing more than remnants of what was once a powerful evil attempting to claw their way back from death is very striking in certain regards, especially from the bosses, none of which are even vaguely threatening, but as such, they ultimately end up being the most potent example of how the journey Simon takes on this time is more of a preventative measure as opposed to an active threat that's ravaging the land. This is also what makes the final dungeon's emptiness the crowning moment in the game as a whole, because to me, that feeling of emptiness is where the game thrives. Conceptually I love this game, I really do, but even after writing out what I strongly praise about the game, I just find the experience to be a bit miserable.

por mais que esse jogo seja bem obtuso com as suas dicas, o que piora ainda mais com a tradução original do NES, eu acho ele interessante como um protótipo do estilo de gameplay que os castlevanias iriam incorporar mais pra frente. e jogar com um guia realmente me fez ver uns pontos positivos nele. no final das contas eu até me diverti mais que com o primeiro jogo. tudo bem se você discordar mas espero que esteja discordando por opinião própria e não por você deixar o angry videogame nerd dominar as suas takes de jogos antigos ok? bom jogo

"what a horrible night to have a curse" is hard af line and Im tired of pretending its not

"Perhaps I treated you too harshly" - Thanos.

What a cute opinion you have, did a youtuber give it to you?

Some shots backfired, but I appreciate the attempt to do something different.

If I'm being honest, Simon's Quest isn't that bad. There are really only two major moments where I had to look up a guide, which was surprising. Unsurprisingly, both moments were caused due to the game's poor translation. There was no way for me to know that the holy water broke certain blocks, or that crouching activated the magic crystals. Once I know that those were two elements of the game, I was able to intuit when and where to use them, which is proof to me that Castlevania II isn't as bad as it's made out to be.

Cryptic nonsense, enemy spam, grind, you name it. Castlevania II is a major misfire and a huge step down from 1. The game just wastes your time, and I'm not gonna waste anymore time with it, so alas it's been abandoned.

At least the soundtrack is pretty banging.


what a horrible night to have a curse

music owns but the game doesn't

following up castlevania must have been a daunting task, and i understand why the team at konami made the decisions they did; unfortunately i feel this is just a less interesting version of konami's own getsu fuma den.
there's tons of cool stuff here, arguably a better soundtrack than the first game despite its sparsity, but compared to CV1 the presentation is really lacking. i lovelovelove simon's red armor look but the absence of color in every sprite palette is totally egregious and makes everything kind of blend together.. i think some areas look very cool (the endgame town is a great moment) but there's a total of maybe 5-6 unique screen types in the whole game recolored haphazardly to represent what is supposedly the transylvanian countryside and iunno, i just wasn't able to buy it. the first game's castle had both scale and tangibility, yet in spite being an outright bigger map and longer playtime CV2 feels so much smaller!
the things in simon's quest that people talk about the most (secret floors, day/night cycle, hearts as currency AND ammo) didn't end up really bothering me this time around, in fact i think they're some of the things that really work for this game and help make it unique. the base gameplay is pretty damn good but it'd have to be since it's the same combat and platforming as CV1, though the selection of subweapons is really bad (no axe or boomerang? THREE knives???)
maybe this game's biggest step down from the first is that it's... not hard? a few enemies have some tricky patterns and can sap health (the SLIMES oh my GOD) but with very few exceptions you will never get set back THAT far, unless you're trying to get the morningstar (game overs here put you in the exact same place you died, just with no hearts). even the mansions are kind of a cakewalk, it's hard NOT to have enough money to buy the oak stake! and oh my god the bosses are such a JOKE and there's THREE of them you don't have to even look up the dracula trick to know it's the most obvious course of action!! am i stepping into the shadows of the hell house or the shadows of weenie hut jr??!!??!!??

anyway i know my rating is kind of high given everything i've said but i really think this game is not bad, it's just not very interesting. i'm definitely not getting the transcendent experience others get out of it, but that's fine, it's still kind of a fun curiosity and i'm glad it exists.
(writing this at 2am sorry if it is a mess!)

Even with a patch to fix the translation its still just slop.