I mean, I guess it's a passable Zelda-like game...but I'm not really a Zelda guy, so I really don't feel that much from it.

You say "HAHA funny kids' game why is it even recognizable online", then you get to Owl and he wrecks your entire day. Than Tigger...was honestly extremely easy for me, NGL. But then, the demon himself, Christopher Robin, awaits you. Do you dare have the strength to fight him and win?

It's not FlingSmash, Geist, or Burnout Crash!.
Not Mario Party 6 or Ultra Smash.
Neither Clubhouse Games or Wii Fit Plus.
Nor Family Feud on SNE-us.
All the games I played, whether good or bad,
Have tropes in common. My favorite doo-dads!
They may be rushed or plain or flawed, but ain't RPGs.
Oh, thank god.

Are my tastes just bad?
Am I the one to blame?
Or is it RPGs that are
Dumb. And lame.

Why don't you play them?

They just take so damn long to complete.

Why don't you play them?

Sixty hours just to rinse and repeat.

But you can grind for years just to beat that boss, oooh-ooh

Why waste all this time on just one game?

Why don't you play them?

Turn-based battles and too much text.
I'd rather be out not having sex.
Menu clutter and useless stats.
And random encounters can kiss my ass!
No gameplay till hours in.
Combat ready! How did I win?
The same thing happens over again.
And then their fun part comes up when?
I missed one thing and now I'm lost.
That one inch of text really meant a lot?
There's some shop with items I can't afford.
So grind for money. You won't be bored!
I'm tired. I'm scared. I'm not having fun.
There's no other way this can be spun!
What do I do? What do I check?
It's an RPG. What did I expect?

Why don't you play them?

They're so good, though.
You can't have opinions!

Listen, guys.

Why don't you play them?

They're not my style!

Start a new file.

Why don't you- Why don't- Why- why- Why don't you-

This was actively boring to play through. It just feels so mindless.

Doesn't really ring out any positive emotions from me.

Definitely a more unique idea on the "walking simulator" type game, but it's still a boring drag to play, even with the whole machine aspect.

Mario Kart and Crash Team Racing spoiled me

This is just a charming idea let down heavily by just how boring the game is and how terrible the controls can be.

F-ZERO OUTTA 10! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, actually more like 4 outta 10.

This looks like a PS2 game with a PS1 camera and bland repetitive gameplay a la the worst shooters from the PS3 that I was able to play on the PS5 in the year 2022 when it came out in 2019 on the PS4.

Basically, it's bad.

Simplistic and easy to understand score attack game with slippery controls making it feel like you're on ice.

Okay, that's the point, but it's still not enjoyable.

Yeah, I tried to play it during the Steam Sale, but man it just wasn't fun. Maybe I'm too small brain for card games, but even when I was winning I wasn't having fun.

Edit: Tried it out again, and it was better than I thought, but man, I just really find the card deck aspect to be utterly boring.

A perfect re-enactment of how I go around killing bugs that I know entered my home. Just less deadly and more cursing.

It's mini golf and it's extremely limited. At least the title is true.

I really wanted to like this game, but the fact that I was bored by slaying Colossus beings says it all.

Okay, now I KNOW I would have not been a Sonic fan in the console war. There are way too many times in this game that I felt like I died to something that just wasn't my fault.

Totally Reliable Delivery Service exists. This game is just that, and it's lucky it came out first. Still doesn't mean I rather play this than that.

I already forgot about it even after playing it 5 minutes ago.

As funny man Peter Griffin once said, It insists upon itself.

At least it didn't involve any inhumane working conditions.

How the heck is the online play worse than Splatoon 3? At least I didn't have to worry about DDoS attacks for a game that shouldn't even exist.

Edit: They finally got their shit together and now it's basically just Overwatch one with a worse marketplace. Yaaay...

Abby was right.

Somedays I need to wake up and tell myself I’m not a turn based strategy guy.