Somedays I need to wake up and tell myself I’m not a turn based strategy guy.

At least it didn't involve any inhumane working conditions.

How the heck is the online play worse than Splatoon 3? At least I didn't have to worry about DDoS attacks for a game that shouldn't even exist.

Edit: They finally got their shit together and now it's basically just Overwatch one with a worse marketplace. Yaaay...

Abby was right.

I already forgot about it even after playing it 5 minutes ago.

As funny man Peter Griffin once said, It insists upon itself.

Totally Reliable Delivery Service exists. This game is just that, and it's lucky it came out first. Still doesn't mean I rather play this than that.

This was actively boring to play through. It just feels so mindless.

Doesn't really ring out any positive emotions from me.

Definitely a more unique idea on the "walking simulator" type game, but it's still a boring drag to play, even with the whole machine aspect.

Mario Kart and Crash Team Racing spoiled me

This is just a charming idea let down heavily by just how boring the game is and how terrible the controls can be.

F-ZERO OUTTA 10! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, actually more like 4 outta 10.

This looks like a PS2 game with a PS1 camera and bland repetitive gameplay a la the worst shooters from the PS3 that I was able to play on the PS5 in the year 2022 when it came out in 2019 on the PS4.

Basically, it's bad.

Simplistic and easy to understand score attack game with slippery controls making it feel like you're on ice.

Okay, that's the point, but it's still not enjoyable.

Yeah, I tried to play it during the Steam Sale, but man it just wasn't fun. Maybe I'm too small brain for card games, but even when I was winning I wasn't having fun.

Edit: Tried it out again, and it was better than I thought, but man, I just really find the card deck aspect to be utterly boring.

A perfect re-enactment of how I go around killing bugs that I know entered my home. Just less deadly and more cursing.

It's mini golf and it's extremely limited. At least the title is true.

I really wanted to like this game, but the fact that I was bored by slaying Colossus beings says it all.

Okay, now I KNOW I would have not been a Sonic fan in the console war. There are way too many times in this game that I felt like I died to something that just wasn't my fault.

You can tell this game was made to be reacted to and screamed at.

Oh yeah, this game exists.

At least Crash 4's rehased levels were optional...

Too overly ambitious and trying to do the "LOL RANDOM=FUNNY" thing for its own good.

What was once a fun and enjoyable paid experience has been reduced to a Free To Play game with a terrible in-game shop that makes Fortnite's shop look charitable in comparison.

The world is undergoing a roundabout, and it feels just as repetitive as it sounds.

Good premise brought down by shady micro-transactions littering the place.

I don't really dig it.

How the hell do you make a bad Mario game? Balan Wonderworld was a better 3D platformer. BALAN. WONDERWORLD.

Yeah, this game kind of annoyed me with just how much it loved to hide stuff without any obvious indication at times, how lost I can feel, and from just how annoying the controls can be, ESPECIALLY for wall-jumping. I get it; these are things that metroidvanias are good at and that's why they're popular, but for me, this game kind of killed off any remaining interest I may have had in the Metroid franchise.

The SP version which gave you all the powerups was nice though.

No, this game really isn't jamming, actually. Kind of boring.

I mean, I guess it's a passable Zelda-like game...but I'm not really a Zelda guy, so I really don't feel that much from it.

You say "HAHA funny kids' game why is it even recognizable online", then you get to Owl and he wrecks your entire day. Than Tigger...was honestly extremely easy for me, NGL. But then, the demon himself, Christopher Robin, awaits you. Do you dare have the strength to fight him and win?

It's not FlingSmash, Geist, or Burnout Crash!.
Not Mario Party 6 or Ultra Smash.
Neither Clubhouse Games or Wii Fit Plus.
Nor Family Feud on SNE-us.
All the games I played, whether good or bad,
Have tropes in common. My favorite doo-dads!
They may be rushed or plain or flawed, but ain't RPGs.
Oh, thank god.

Are my tastes just bad?
Am I the one to blame?
Or is it RPGs that are
Dumb. And lame.

Why don't you play them?

They just take so damn long to complete.

Why don't you play them?

Sixty hours just to rinse and repeat.

But you can grind for years just to beat that boss, oooh-ooh

Why waste all this time on just one game?

Why don't you play them?

Turn-based battles and too much text.
I'd rather be out not having sex.
Menu clutter and useless stats.
And random encounters can kiss my ass!
No gameplay till hours in.
Combat ready! How did I win?
The same thing happens over again.
And then their fun part comes up when?
I missed one thing and now I'm lost.
That one inch of text really meant a lot?
There's some shop with items I can't afford.
So grind for money. You won't be bored!
I'm tired. I'm scared. I'm not having fun.
There's no other way this can be spun!
What do I do? What do I check?
It's an RPG. What did I expect?

Why don't you play them?

They're so good, though.
You can't have opinions!

Listen, guys.

Why don't you play them?

They're not my style!

Start a new file.

Why don't you- Why don't- Why- why- Why don't you-

A better game was just in arms reach, but alas...

Yeah, I put Balan Wonderworld above Crumble. I genuinely like this game. It's definitely a victim of being rushed out with some parts needing to be better implemented, but it's still a fun time in my opinion. The art, music, and even the gameplay with the costumes still put a smile on my face.

Better than the road version, but can still wear out its welcome if you try to play it all at once.

Step 1: Slingshot yourself with your tongue.
Step 2: Go fast.
Step 3: ???
Step 4: PROFIT!

The anime that saved the video game...is way better. 9/10. Watch that instead of this game and watch the final boss of the anime get killed on youtube.

Oh, so a perfectly ok game...THAT'S where Joshscorcher got his name "Firebrand" from!

An interesting spin on the original Dig-Dug formula, and managing to get all the enemies to fall into the ocean is always a blast.

Yeah, still have no idea why Gadget got hitched to Zipper. Still a decently fun platformer.

The multiplayer really is the true highlight of these games.

I really wish I was a Metroidvania fan. I remember beating it twice; getting the bad ending than the good ending, and just thinking it was a 7/10. Replaying it now, it was a 7 or 8 out of 10 till I got to the Deepnest, when it became a 6/10. The Deepnest changes a person.

ANON GET OUT!

Not as stunning as the original, and the shortcomings of the original are a bit more prominent here, but it's still a charming game worth at least one trip.

Consider the trilogy defeated.

Oh, so THIS is what mid is; completely fine, but with no incentive to come back and try to get better at the game.

Mappy was always nostalgic for me in a way, being one of the first games I really played, so I can't help but smile at this cute little twist of the formula.

A pretty good and solid arcade game.

Just stick the comic, and check this out if it's on sale and you like the comic.

I can see Nintendo's idea of keeping a game alive with free updates. Maybe if we didn't have two games that felt similar to one another, it could have worked better. Unfortunately, Wii Sports Resort is still the superior game.

This game reminds me of a disappointing sequel to Star Wars!

6 points.

I like Super Paper Mario. That is my response to the question of why this is so low.

This made me realize I like the Layton-style puzzles and that I wasn't a Phoenix Wright fan.

Definitely a bit better when I didn't try to do it all at once. Still repetitive. Definitely more focused on the multiplayer aspect.

This game popped up right the heck out of nowhere with its charm and music. If you like Parappa, you'll like this as well.

"Undefeatable" is overrated. Boom. Send Tweet.

I'm more of a Crash Bandicoot guy.

"B-BUT YOU PLAY AS A CAT! THAT MAKES IT A 10/10!" A good game is a 7/10. A charming idea with good gameplay behind it is a 10/10. A charming idea with nothing supporting making it just playable is a 6/10.

Can't beat the classics, sorry...expect for the games above this game, but SHHHHHHHHHHHH

Unique presentation that gives way to unique puzzles.

What remains of "What Remains Of Edith Finch".

The superior Death Stranding.

Almost impossible to not see it as a meme game at this point, but hey at least it's still fun.

A fun game, this Banjo-Kazooie, but rate it too high up, it can't be! Sure I love the Monster Mansion and Freezy Peak, but there is more here that I managed to seek. With Rusty Buckets and the Cavern of Clanker, makes me curse out and my feelings feel danker. Add in a camera that makes aiming a chore, and I can't see just why this game is so widely adored. Nice to see Banjo and his friend make it to smash, but another go on this game so soon is one I'll pass.

Still a solid 7/10, just wanted to voice some criticisms that I never saw for this game.

Goddamn Alike Studios is so underrated it isn't funny.

Showed me just how fun town building can be, especially if the roguelite element of the game is rather lackluster.

A nice little tribute to the fighting side-scrolling games of the past.

I ordered a donut and all I got was a lousy hole. Took about 90 minutes to breeze through; not really a lot of replay value, if any, but still fun for a go around or two.

The superior game about donuts.

I have gained a newfound respect for people who master Puyo Puyo-type games.

One of the more unique and fun platformers of the olden days of console wars.

Combining abilities was fun. Trying to figure out what abilities I needed for 100% was not.

Now, this is the kind of game that can benefit from Nintendo's post-launch add-ons while still not being that bad on its own for $15.

Beaten in the Reverie collection. Definitely a cute and charming game, albeit one with controls that just feel a bit too slippery for me. And that wind bullet keeps feeling a bit too short and unreliable at times.

Now this is a certified childhood classic.

Still has the same problems the other sports game have, but also has its own unique strengths to make up for it. One step forward, one step back. Still better than the two steps back Tennis and Golf got, and the step into the wood chipper Switch Sports got.

Great gameplay with music than can feel repetitive with amusing characters for a good story that doesn't stay too long. If I was more into hack and slash games and this game had a better camera, it could probably be an easy 8/10.

TAKE THE HIGHWAY YOU STUPID CARS!

The superior Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl. The inferior Smash game. The worst in-game shop.

A very cheesy and fun platformer with one terrible shoot 'em up level.

You did not deserve to go out like that.

Way more complex than an arcade machine was thought to be at the time.

Yeah, I got Pac-Man fever! PAC! MAN! FEVER!

Bring back the world games, you cowards!

Edit: Oh, well I'll be damned.

The combat really isn't my cup of tea, nor is the badge system. I would take permanent upgrades and level everything up at once over those annoying badge points and leveling only one stat at a time any day of the week.

Edit: Bumping this up to 7/10 because of the Toad that cheated on his girlfriend.

A nice quick little puzzle game that is easy to breeze through in an afternoon.

Fun game for the moment, but it really doesn't have much to it to incentivize replays.

It can be quite annoying at times, but there is something good here that keeps me coming back. Black Knight and the freeze axe is OP.

If they were humans this game would have been 10 times more horrifying.

Dang, that was actually a pretty fun shooter! Wonder if there are others I could check out...

Well, at least I can say I finally played through the whole game instead of just using the warp whistles.

It's a cute game in the village, and you play as a horrible goose. Your day won't be ruined if you play this.

A realistic portrayal of anxiety shows that just because it's annoying most of the time, it is trying to help you and wants to be tamed.

Yet another grand game from Alike Game Studios; this studio just has a nice solid track record for phone games.

What a nice story with nice characters. I hope the developer of the game isn't involved in any controversies that would make talking about this game hard to do...

Definitely the peak of tower defense games. I'm not a big fan of how they block off abilities until you use towers enough times, but I can see that being an interesting design choice to incentivize people into trying out different towers.

Thank you Nintendo for giving this game away for free for a week with NSO membership. The game is actually pretty fun, even if annoying with some of the bonus objectives.

Where.

The fuck.

IS RAPUNZEL?!?

The superior Mini Motorways, topped off with each character in the game having a unique and insane plot with a overarching theme about time travel.