CodeNameYogurt
2011
2013
I swear every discord server has that one guy who'll occasionally post a clip that starts off on 'attempt 53837' with the most eye bleeding background you've ever seen where you can barely see what you're supposed to interact with, proceed to get through 43% of it at lightning speed and die, and then their next message is 'yeah gonna grind this one out a little more I'm liking this one'
2012
2005
2024
2024
1972
2013
2011
2011
Okay, actual review time.
If you've been following the excellent saga that is 'random Irish guy writes shitty one-liners about video games' the beloved spinoff to 'random Irish guy writes shitty webnovels inspired mostly by video game plots as well as whatever was in the Spotify playlist that day' you'll know I wrote an actual review of Portal , and thought it was just okay. A decent demo of new tech with a fun enough plot even if the momentum based puzzles were a bit jank in areas. But everyone said Portal 2 was the great one and god damn they were right.
Right from the beginning when Wheatley wakes you up and the world starts crumbling around you as Glados notices your presence, in psychics showcases that to this day are extremely impressive looking, with dialogue that's genuinely funny as you talk to two parties who absolutely hate each other, going through more fun puzzles that feel more tightly designed than in one.
Then the big halfway twist happens.
I'm not gonna go too in detail on how you end up in the abandoned part of aperture, because I knew what the twist was and was still shocked at it. But the second half leads to the game's greatest strength.
atmosphere.
Every part of this game oozes atmosphere thanks to the more varied settings, getting to traverse with portals outside of the first games testing environments for longer periods of time. The prerecorded messages as funny as they are deeply unsettling. I do have a personal phobia of both abandoned places and the whole 'upload your brain into a machine' concept so maybe this whole thing spoke to me on a deeper level, but god damn if I wasn't creeped out the whole time. This has scared me more than basically any horror movie I've ever watched, and the plot and premise probably wouldn't be that hard to rewrite into a dreamworks film, which adds to the game's artistic qualities.
So in general, it's a masterpiece. You didn't need me to say that. Only flaw is some of the later puzzles last a tad too long, and the orange gel kept sliding me just besides my portal instead of into them (or maybe that's just me getting filtered by first person gaming again)
If you've been following the excellent saga that is 'random Irish guy writes shitty one-liners about video games' the beloved spinoff to 'random Irish guy writes shitty webnovels inspired mostly by video game plots as well as whatever was in the Spotify playlist that day' you'll know I wrote an actual review of Portal , and thought it was just okay. A decent demo of new tech with a fun enough plot even if the momentum based puzzles were a bit jank in areas. But everyone said Portal 2 was the great one and god damn they were right.
Right from the beginning when Wheatley wakes you up and the world starts crumbling around you as Glados notices your presence, in psychics showcases that to this day are extremely impressive looking, with dialogue that's genuinely funny as you talk to two parties who absolutely hate each other, going through more fun puzzles that feel more tightly designed than in one.
Then the big halfway twist happens.
I'm not gonna go too in detail on how you end up in the abandoned part of aperture, because I knew what the twist was and was still shocked at it. But the second half leads to the game's greatest strength.
atmosphere.
Every part of this game oozes atmosphere thanks to the more varied settings, getting to traverse with portals outside of the first games testing environments for longer periods of time. The prerecorded messages as funny as they are deeply unsettling. I do have a personal phobia of both abandoned places and the whole 'upload your brain into a machine' concept so maybe this whole thing spoke to me on a deeper level, but god damn if I wasn't creeped out the whole time. This has scared me more than basically any horror movie I've ever watched, and the plot and premise probably wouldn't be that hard to rewrite into a dreamworks film, which adds to the game's artistic qualities.
So in general, it's a masterpiece. You didn't need me to say that. Only flaw is some of the later puzzles last a tad too long, and the orange gel kept sliding me just besides my portal instead of into them (or maybe that's just me getting filtered by first person gaming again)
1989
AND NOW I FINISH!!!
Yakuza like a dragon (which from now on I'll just call Yakuza 7) was a game I had for a while but never got around to finishing. It was actually my first Yakuza game I got on PS4, and I went in assuming it was a spinoff due to the new cast, setting, battle system, and the fact it wasn't a numbered entry on the box. So a reveal 2/3rds into the game that it did in fact tie into the main series combined with that part having an insane difficulty curve meant I never finished it. But that changed, and god damn, this might be one of my all time favorites.
The game ditches it's main cast for a new character, Ichiban Kasuga. And this man is an absolute legend. He's a bombastic goofball ready to help out anyone regardless of their current reputation, seeing the world as a Dragon Quest like fantasy for the hell of it, as he comes into his own with the help of a team of great characters as he uncovers the mystery behind a set of betrayals in his life.
And the main story is great. The new Yokohama setting and it's unsteady peace between rival factions leads to a lot of interesting conflicts, especially as more and more secrets collapse into a final conflict that had me greatly emotional by the end, even if the story falls into the usual Yakuza writing traps like giving a hint certain villains will redeem themselves only for them to die later (you know the part I'm talking about, and it's possibly the worst example in the series) and having themes of standing up for oppressed groups only to have you fight against the homeless people you stood up for ten minutes ago. The game also leans into the Yakuza wackiness in it's main story much more than in previous entries, and for the most part it pays off, managing to be serious when it needs to be with some real emotional gut punches. The other party members are also great, with all of them having great arcs (even if one gets resolved in a post credits cutscene) minus the optional party member who's just a real nothingburger of a character.
And one of the big things about this entry is the turn based combat, which is...fine. The moves all have the impact they need to feel satisfying to land, but the game is insanely easy minus the massive curve I mentioned, and another fight later on (although that one is also really easy to exploit) as well as the fact I didn't really feel the need to experiment with the job system, just picking a job for each character and sticking with it for the game. Also, finding decent weapons for some jobs (enforcer) is really obnoxious. And it's not long before you have a party and just spam the same moves through every fight (turns out all those villains could have thrown darts until they took over crime syndicates this whole time, who knew?)
But what I think this game does better than any Yakuza game is side content. The main way to get money like the Y0 real estate is a business management sim, which is pretty in depth as well as really fun, especially the part where you bring a chicken to a shareholder meeting and it becomes the MVP of the whole side campaign. And the game also has the best substories in Yakuza. The Korean actor, the ghost one, the Baby formula one, all amazing. Especially due to the new summon system allowing you to bring these characters back in really fun ways.
So yeah, one of the most enjoyable games I've ever played, and I'm so glad it started my journey through what is possibly my new favorite game series. Hopefully soon enough I can get a good deal on Judgment and IW, because once I do, I'll be ready.
Yakuza like a dragon (which from now on I'll just call Yakuza 7) was a game I had for a while but never got around to finishing. It was actually my first Yakuza game I got on PS4, and I went in assuming it was a spinoff due to the new cast, setting, battle system, and the fact it wasn't a numbered entry on the box. So a reveal 2/3rds into the game that it did in fact tie into the main series combined with that part having an insane difficulty curve meant I never finished it. But that changed, and god damn, this might be one of my all time favorites.
The game ditches it's main cast for a new character, Ichiban Kasuga. And this man is an absolute legend. He's a bombastic goofball ready to help out anyone regardless of their current reputation, seeing the world as a Dragon Quest like fantasy for the hell of it, as he comes into his own with the help of a team of great characters as he uncovers the mystery behind a set of betrayals in his life.
And the main story is great. The new Yokohama setting and it's unsteady peace between rival factions leads to a lot of interesting conflicts, especially as more and more secrets collapse into a final conflict that had me greatly emotional by the end, even if the story falls into the usual Yakuza writing traps like giving a hint certain villains will redeem themselves only for them to die later (you know the part I'm talking about, and it's possibly the worst example in the series) and having themes of standing up for oppressed groups only to have you fight against the homeless people you stood up for ten minutes ago. The game also leans into the Yakuza wackiness in it's main story much more than in previous entries, and for the most part it pays off, managing to be serious when it needs to be with some real emotional gut punches. The other party members are also great, with all of them having great arcs (even if one gets resolved in a post credits cutscene) minus the optional party member who's just a real nothingburger of a character.
And one of the big things about this entry is the turn based combat, which is...fine. The moves all have the impact they need to feel satisfying to land, but the game is insanely easy minus the massive curve I mentioned, and another fight later on (although that one is also really easy to exploit) as well as the fact I didn't really feel the need to experiment with the job system, just picking a job for each character and sticking with it for the game. Also, finding decent weapons for some jobs (enforcer) is really obnoxious. And it's not long before you have a party and just spam the same moves through every fight (turns out all those villains could have thrown darts until they took over crime syndicates this whole time, who knew?)
But what I think this game does better than any Yakuza game is side content. The main way to get money like the Y0 real estate is a business management sim, which is pretty in depth as well as really fun, especially the part where you bring a chicken to a shareholder meeting and it becomes the MVP of the whole side campaign. And the game also has the best substories in Yakuza. The Korean actor, the ghost one, the Baby formula one, all amazing. Especially due to the new summon system allowing you to bring these characters back in really fun ways.
So yeah, one of the most enjoyable games I've ever played, and I'm so glad it started my journey through what is possibly my new favorite game series. Hopefully soon enough I can get a good deal on Judgment and IW, because once I do, I'll be ready.
2014