DespicableCHUD
1994
Still a revelation after all these years.
Why am I so shit at this game?
1998
Sometimes you just wanna kick and replay one of your favorite games.
2020
Abortion rights are human rights.
I’m less besotted with TMNT nostalgia than most, so I might not be the intended audience for this. Still… I found this fairly enjoyable, if less compulsively playable/addictive/euphoria-inducing than Streets of Rage 4. Clearly made with tremendous love and care, even if it was mostly just a brief diversion for me.
My opinion on this game oscillated wildly from moment to moment, hour to hour, bounding from tedium to exhilaration, eye rolls to jaw drops. And in the end, now that I’ve trawled through the game multiple times and made it to Ending E, I think it’s safe to say this nonsensical, dorky, convoluted mess really won me over.
2021
Is this supposed to be janky and unplayable on purpose?
2018
I really don't like this game.
2022
This game has so such much going for it—the grungy, neon-hued aesthetics; the menacingly beautiful environments; the ecocentric take on urban exploration; the cute kitty—and yet it’s ultimately let down by its ropey storytelling, stale mechanics, and a never-ending procession of fetch quests and inventory puzzles (you know, in a cat game). Still worth playing, but not quite as good as I’d hoped.
2018
This review contains spoilers
A halfsterpiece. Loved the left-to-right Ninja Garden platformer stages, but the game took a real nosedive during the second half, when it abruptly transforms into a shitty, unfulfilling, and maddeningly tedious Metroidvania. The strength of the first half was enough for me -- and I didn't even bother finishing the rest.
2018
Suffers from a bad case of collectijunctivitis, but still a gobsmackingly good game.
1996
An absolute atrocity. I love it.
2022
It's fine.
2011
A collection of discarded, secondhand curious and what's-its purloined from the estate of James Ellroy and old episodes of Dragnet. Janky, repetitive, prestige-hungry, and about half as smart as it thinks it is. Some of the twists and turns of its second half are fairly intriguing (especially as it relates to Cole's character arc), but the process of actually getting there is an absolute slog. It doesn't help that most of the individual cases aren't as engaging or tightly plotted (or hell, fun to play) as I would have liked.
2022
The 2022 GOTY.