I'll open this by establishing my thoughts on Drakengard 1 since this game heavily builds upon it and it's impossible to talk about one without the other.

I don't like Drakengard 1 that much. The gameplay becomes semi bearable once you put a lot of time into it but it's still fundamentally pretty shitty. It has presentation issues and the writing is the equivalent of being violently assaulted by wet noddles with a ton of unintentional humor. Most of the characters don't work, the themes range from not existing to being so stupid that the game about how miserable and bad the world is becomes a disturbing comedy.

Basically I don't think Drakengard 1 is this artsy masterpiece many claim it is even if I do admire a lot of its qualities. So much sounds interesting on paper but the execution is somewhat questionable, style over substance one could say.

With that in mind, hearing Drakengard 2 is not even liked by the people who actually get a lot out of the original had me curious. I fully expected to try it, find it unplayable and badly written, then move on.

Well, as you can see by the rating, here we are.

I loved it, it is actually so shockingly superior to Drakengard 1 in every conceivable level. It's the anti-Drakengard 1 in more ways than one.

Drakengard 2 adds so many interesting ideas and players to the already very intriguing world of the first game.
The themes of love, duality, sacrifice, repetition... It's all so fascinatingly executed. It's tamer and less unhinged than DOD1 on the surface but the ways it explores the aftermath of that game, the different ways Nowe views this visceral world and how his idealized reality slowly crumbles around him, the way Manah and Caim strived in search of their own forms of atonement to dispell their grief... It's all excelent.
It retroactively makes the world of Drakengard 1 seem so much grander and adds so much meat to the big players of the original cast who weren't bad but all severely lacked a bigger impact beyond their iconic personality quirks and characterizations.

Honestly it is insane to me how far this game goes to make everything I either disliked or thought were an absolute waste of potential in 1 (Inuart's conflict with Caim) become something that I can actually explore and have good old shower thoughts on.

I wish we got more Seere by the end but his stuff was also really good and I love the impact his ideals had on the status quo. Angelus was beautiful (THE ROLE REVERSAL AND THE CONFLICT BETWEEN THE RED AND BLACK DRAGONS BECOMING THIS MYTHOLOGICAL FATE IS SO FUCKING SICK THEY MADE INUART'S LOSER ASS HAVE A COOL THEME BEHIND IT THIS GAME IS NOT FAIR).

The new cast is all good as well.
I think Nowe is a bit too passive and reaction triggered alongside having a pretty tame personality that could've shined more with a few tweaks but I absolutely adore his purpose in this story. He works brilliantly as this story's MC and his conflict with Legna is absolutely fantastic.
Speaking of, Legna also a banger, really really like him.
URUCK IS THE GOAT I WISH HE STICKED AROUND FOR A BIT MORE BUT HE WAS A BANGER THROUGH AND THROUGH.
Eris is great, she's hot as fuck so that's already a sell but her presence in the story is very striking and her Novella is incredible, expanding and giving some much appreciated finality to the story of this game.
The generals were cool one off antagonists and they fit their purpose as the gimmicky bosses (I enjoy the way the pacts are used with these characters a LOT).

THE GAMEPLAY HOLY SHIT
THIS GAME IS ACTUALLY PLAYABLE
I CAN DO OK COMBOS
ITS FAST
THERES A BUDDY SYSTEM THAT ACTUALLY HAS A PURPOSE AND FUCKING WORKS
THE BOSSES HAVE ACTUAL COMBAT DESIGN
THE LEVELS DONT GO ON FOREVER
MANAH DOES A FUCKING BREAK DANCE
I CAN MOVE THE FUCKING CAMERAAAA

All in all, fantastic game. I hope Taro goes fuck himself because I'm gonna fuck his wife.

"There is no book or teacher to give you the answers, to show you the path. Choose your own way.
Do not follow me. Or anyone else."










I love that quote because I feel like it symbolizes Ezio's development just as much as it does AC2 itself.

AC1 was a weird ass game to general audiences. A story about a middle eastern asshole who spent his life hunting the soldiers of God during the Crusades isn't exactly your average triple A game material. It was a unique vision that was so in love with itself that for some that could be a turn off on its own.

Point being that AC1 never tried to prove anything. Assassin's Creed was just Assassin's Creed, nothing more, nothing less.

AC2 picks up exactly where AC1 (weirdly) left off, sparring no time to rest with an extremely intense opening section followed by one of the most iconic starts to any story.

Ezio Auditore da Firenze is born and in about 2 minutes of screen time every human being with a heart falls deeply in love with him.

AC2 was the game that put Assassin's Creed on the map full force and I'd argue the sole reason that happened was because of Ezio. His captivating personality and extremely compelling journey entranced everyone in a way that Altair's just couldn't.

A grand story through the beautiful Italian renaissance with one of the most iconic larger than life MCs of all time, how could anyone resist?

Weirdly enough though most people would assume such a move was deliberate to appease to a larger crowd but it never really comes across that way. Ezio is clearly written as a subversion of how Altair operated. We meet him during his youth, he's initially guided by his emotions and about 60% of the narrative is devoted to the connections he makes with the extremely charismatic cast. Mechanically the game operates about the same way AC1 did but supercharged with added depth. It’s a sequel that builds upon the previous game, respecting its legacy almost like a legend, while carving its own path.


I could go on and on about the impact AC2 has but this is a review so how is the game?

Well, it feels like being transported alongside Desmond by the animus.

The setting is gorgeous, the atmosphere is fantastic, the characters are so loveable and charismatic, Ezio is absolutely perfect and the gameplay feels about 10 times nicer than in AC1 (combat honestly feels a bit weaker at times but still sports big improvements overall). It’s a piece of art with an energy that very few other games have.

The soundtrack is absolutely stellar, Jesper Kyd’s best work by a longshot. Salvation of Forli (my personal favorite), Ezio’s family, Earth, Venice rooftops… so many fucking bangers. I’m a big fan of Kyd’s work for AC1 but AC2’s OST is just out of this world.

Voice acting is excelent as usual but Roger Craig Smith as Ezio really steals the show. Once you get past the goofy italian accent (which is a charm in its own right) it's impeccable how well he captures Ezio's emotions.

Outside of the Animus the improvements are HUGE. Desmond’s side of the story is way more interesting with way fewer obligatory interruptions, plus whenever you are forced to go back to the real world it’s way more engaging since he now actually gets to do some action with a proper control scheme instead of just slowly walking around an office.

The climax much like AC1 is really trippy and interesting with yet another abrupt but this time honestly hysterical ending.


I have a few issues with it, mostly minor aspects.

I’m not the biggest fan of the codex pages hunt since it’s a classic Ubisoft fetch quest that is mandatory for progression but it’s not THAT bad since the number of them is not high and you get an excuse to chill around the rooftops of Italy for a few more hours. Unlike AC1 this game features some missions where being undetected is mandatory and early AC’s stealth is just too poor so those can be really frustrating. A lot of story elements in this game get greatly improved by Brotherhood which leaves them a tad underused on their own here. Much like AC1 this game has a very clear loop (decide next target, go to location, meet new side character, help them for a few missions to be able to get their support, kill target with side character’s support) which also like AC1 has a cool little thematic tie later in sequence 11 that makes everything come together really well but still, it’s a repetitive cycle nonetheless and the templars in this game especially are honestly even more one note than the ones from AC1 (Rodrigo Borgia aside, he's cool).


In summary. AC2 is still just as magical as it was back in 2009. It’s a monumental game and respectably for some the peak of the series for a reason. A game that bleeds with passion and a unique vision few could compare at the time and ESPECIALLY nowadays. Not my favorite AC game but still one that I can whole heartedly say I absolutely love.

"There are no grades given for goals and wishes. No matter how small they may seem to others, as long as I keep moving forward they will eventually come to fruition.
As it is the desire for that wish to become reality that will keep you going until the end."








This is gonna be the single most biased review in all of history so buckle up.

Type Moon's magnum opus, the first and best game of Kazuya Niino's PSP trilogy.

I love Fate/EXTRA to death, it is the most masterfully crafted and methodically put together piece of media I've ever had the pleasure to experience.

This is the story of Hakuno Kishinami searching for themselves amidst a dire scenario where they have to face mankind at its purest state to fully understand the meaning of being human, the thing that drives us to go out there and want to make a difference, stand by our values and enjoy life even at its harshest moments.

Every foe they face carries a theme and none of them are wasted. It builds this incredibly flawless character study of humanity itself through people who embody the aspects that define us as people.

Shinji's friendship and greed, Dan's pride and code of honor, Alice's vulnerability and need for support, Gatou's religious clinging, Ronnie's downfall to the carnal desire, Julius' search for love, Rani's understanding of humanity and Rin's rebellion against stagnation (Cleverly both defining aspects of Hakuno, who they get to interact with the most), Leo's strive towards perfection and Twice's nihilistic and bitter but ultimately thoughtful view on the process of human evolution.

It wastes no beats and packs so much density in such a perfectly tied narrative.

The recontextualization of the Holy Grail War into a death game that dissects humanity is a sight to behold.

The servant trinity is an absolute highlight. Nero, Nameless and Tamamo are fantastic. They provide an amazing replay value to the game since each one has their own distinct chemistry with Hakuno and they're all so fucking cool man I love them so much.

There's an infinity of nuance and depth to explore after multiple playthroughs and way too many shower thought sessions.

Hakuno Kishinami is my favorite character of all time. Don't see that ever changing either. There's something truly special with Hakuno that gets me in a way no other character ever could and I honestly cannot point out what it is specifically. Is it their beautiful story of self recognition? Is it their awe inspiring unbreakable resolve and strive towards betterment of the body and mind? Is it their bittersweet and often times heart wrenching purity that leads them to still find a worth to this life they were given even amidst this hellish scenario? I honestly can't tell and I could waste 90% of this review just gushing about every single character defining line they hit you with like a hammer when you least expect, however I do want to keep this spoiler free so I don't want to delve into the specifics and revelations about their character. They're just the best man, I love my Hakuno Kishinami so much.

Even without spoilers I will say tho the ending is the most beautiful and heartfelt conclusion possible to this story accompanied by an ending quote that instantly became my favorite bit of writing ever.

I don't think exploring the writing any further is needed since there's just WAY too much to talk about so yeah it's the coolest fucking shit ever written. #ThankYouNiino

Outside of the writing, it's a game that aged like wine visually. The look of Niino's games are always artistically driven to the bone and EXTRA is no different. The dungeons are extremely striking and creative, Tsukihimihara is such a cool place to live in, Wada's art is awesome, the enemies look so wacky and fun...

I DON'T EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE OST BRUH THAT SHIT IS NUCLEAR BANGER ITS BEEN KNOWN SHINJI HOSOE TE AMO JAZZ FOR THE SOUUUULLL

The gameplay is infamously the divisive factor but I personally am a fan. I respect the hustle Niino has for never going for the traditional no matter what with the combat in his games (I will get to Black Rock Shooter's bizarre third person turn based jrpg combat) and the RPS combat has layers beyond its initial RNG factor. Boss fights in particular are immensely fun with this system, at the cost of a repetitive but decent usage against average mobs.

In summary, it's a game that drips heart through every single one of its pores, has so much to say while at the same time being so simple and sincere at its core. A masterpiece in every sense of the word. A game I will forever hold dear and cherish, truly a lifechanging experience that has been shaking up how I perceive myself and life as a whole immensely during these early stages of adulthood.





Also Hakuno is so fucking hot please have sex with me I am begging you

I don’t have a dope quote or anything cute like that to start off this review. I’d have to actually scour through all the vapid dialogue to even attempt to find one that would be even remotely neat or memorable.
This is the worst Assassin’s Creed game. It’s honestly not even a competition. This game is borderline worthless and fails at almost everything that it sets out to do.





Are you here for Eivor’s “Raven Saga”? An epic tale of Vikings taking over Medieval England and pacifying it from the clutches of the Saxon King Aelfred? Well, if you think a vapid 60 hours long pseudo political narrative about as deep as a kid’s pool featuring disposable and generic characters that get dropped or killed off at the drop of a hat because that’s how much they matter in the long run, then sure yeah maybe you’ll get what you want here.
Are you here for, you know, “Assassin’s Creed”? Well, I’m very glad to tell you that this game does indeed feature the Hidden Ones, which automatically make this game a “return to roots” according to some. It’s very epic to have Hytham and Basim around, 2 Hidden One companions. The former being a schmuck who doesn’t do anything in the entire game outside of telling Eivor to do literally all his work for him, while the latter is a borderline incomprehensible schizo who’s barely in the game, has absolutely nothing of interesting to say or add and turns out to be maybe the stupidest and most obvious twist villain of all time.
Are you here for a fun video game that feels nice to play and has a very cool open world to explore like Odyssey? Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you bro because this game plays like ass, controls like a boulder and has the most uninteresting setting in the series by a colossal margin.


I could legit end the review then and there since I believe it’s already a perfectly understandable summary on why this game is a colossal turd that easily signals the death of this series. I’m not even mad honestly, 11 games that I really like is a great run when you think about it. However, it is impressive how this game’s conclusion leaves no room for any hopes towards the future. Let’s get into it a bit more deeply, shall we? I’m not going spoiler free for once because honestly, I don’t care and you shouldn’t either. This narrative is not worth worrying about spoilers and I want to dissect its utter insanity.


Assassin’s Creed Valhalla is the 12th game in the AC series. It’s the final chapter in the RPG Trilogy of games, following up on the events of both AC Origins (Past section takes place after Bayek and Ahmunet forming the Hidden Ones) and AC Odyssey (Present section follows Layla Hassan for one last time as the world begins to collapse like in AC3, forcing her alongside Rebecca and Shawn to find a way to stop the catastrophe once again with the power of the Staff of Hermes passed on by Alexios).


I’m gonna go over some of the overall positives first since there really aren’t many this time.


The leveling system from the previous 2 games has been replaced by the power system. This basically exists to cut down level grinding alongside a revised and more streamlined gear loot cycle. It does indeed work and makes the need for level grinding almost nonexistent while also allowing you to feasibly fight underleveled and still have a fair shot at winning (well most of the time). It’s a good change even if it ultimately led me to pretty much not touching this game’s side-quest offerings. However, the devs were probably aware about that fact since the side-quests in this game were pretty much reduced to few minutes long one-off events instead of the beefier short narratives of the previous 2 games. The writing for those most likely got transferred to the Arc system which I will get into later.
The Bayek letter and the Desmond audio files are easily the best parts of the game. 3 audios that have absolutely nothing to do with the actual story of the game. Speaks volumes but they are beautifully written and voiced acted by Abubakar Salim and Nolan North.
This game is pretty, I cannot deny that.
Some gameplay additions like the slide and action wheel are almost useless but they are still welcome.
I like flyting and fishing, easily the most fun side-activities.

Yea that’s all the nice things I have to say. Let’s get into the meat of it.

The gameplay of this game is awful. It is stiff, janky and just not fun at all. Eivor moves like a fucking boulder even after upgrading her mobility and the combat is a tumor half-breed between Origins and Odyssey that just fucking sucks.
The longboat is easily the worst addition tho, what a tacky gimmick. It’s a glorified horse that you sometimes have to use to traverse the rivers of England. There’s no naval combat or anything interesting involved, it’s just letting that shit travel on autopilot to your destination and taking a piss break ig. Same goes for the horses because the number of times I just let mine go on auto to my destination because that shit was super fucking far away in this bloated ass map while I played a gatcha on my phone or something is actually not even funny.
Climbing and traversal feel even worse than in the previous 2 games somehow, it’s floaty and stiff at the same time somehow shit’s actually awful.
I think the whole mentality of looking at games in bad faith by saying “you’re just doing the same thing over and over again” is pretty dumb because you can legit break any game down like that but GOOD GOD, I have never played a game that made me think about how I’m just wasting my time doing the same fucking formulaic shit over and over again for 50+ hours more than this piece of shit.
TLDR; Gameplay garbage.

What about the story?
To which I respond: WHAT STORY?

This game took me 60 hours and I can confidently say if it was around 5 hours long you could achieve the exact same narrative.

Eivor’s character has next to 0 progression until the final HOUR of the game. The main characters that should drive the narrative like Sigurd or Basim DISAPPEAR FOR OVER 30 HOURS AND THEN COME BACK TO STAY FOR LESS THAN ONE. It is such a fucking achievement in storytelling incompetence that it’s astounding.
To break down this narrative into a sentence: Eivor and her brother Sigurd travel from Norway to England in search of Glory.

That’s literally it. Along the way Sigurd ends up learning about the ancient civilization and becoming obsessed with it while Eivor struggles with her place in this story as someone who seeks glory but is always second fiddle to her brother. They develop a convoluted hostile relationship with time since Sigurd fears that Eivor wants to hog all the glory for her which makes no sense because at no point does she ever try to do that in the whole game. After 58 hours the game has its climax where they just say fuck it and rip-off the ending of the hit visual novel euphoria. Sigurd and Eivor make amends and decide true glory can’t be physically everlasting, what matters is what you leave behind (admittedly the only nice narrative beat of the game which I did get some enjoyment out of). Then after that nice sequence they get confronted by Basim for some reason and you fight the worst final boss in video game history (NARRATIVELY AND IN THE CONTEXT OF GAMEPLAY), concluding the past narrative.
After that in modern day, Layla’s story comes to an end. A story that had absolutely no roadmap or coherence about a character I barely know outside of the OPTIONAL EMAILS AND FILES YOU CAN READ ON HER COMPUTER DURING THE 3 RPG GAMES. About 30 minutes of the most stupid and idiotic sci-fi jargon and bullshit ensue which is legit just not even worth trying to explain because one of the plot points is STRAIGHT OUT OF FUCKING FATE/EXTELLA.
Desmond is alive and is actually a God who keeps the multiverse in balance (I’M NOT FUCKING JOKING), I guess? Layla is now also a God who helps Desmond, I guess? Basim is in modern day now, I guess? Basim is a sage, I guess? Basim is very clearly going to sabotage the modern-day assassins, I guess? Does any of this mean anything? It does, it signals that the series is officially dead.
The shark wasn’t jumped, the shark got launched straight into space. None of this makes any sense and has absolutely no narrative weight or value. Remember when the animus was just a machine that could read the memories of your ancestors? Now we’re on some straight up Matrix Reloaded bullshit that has absolutely no place in this franchise.
And after all that you still have ONE MORE POST-GAME ARC FOR SOME REASON.
Eivor fights King Aelfred with all her allies, he dips off-screen, bunch of Eivor’s buddies get killed off for cheap shock value. Peak storytelling.
Once that’s done you can go kill all the members of the Order of the Ancients if you want which leads to the 4th ending scene of the game where King Aelfred reveals himself as the mastermind of the Order of Ancients who actually manipulated Eivor to destroy them from inside out in order to give birth to the Templars, this would be cool if I cared about any of this ig.

What a fucking shitshow of a story.
And you may be wondering “But Doti there’s literally a 50+ hour long chunk of the game you just glossed over like it doesn’t matter!”

YEAH, BECAUSE IT DOESN’T.

YOU SPEND 90% OF THE STORY COMPLETING THIS GAME’S “STORY ARCS” WHICH ARE LITERALLY GLORIFIED SIDE-QUESTS THAT VARY FROM BAD TO BORING TO DECENT AT BEST. YOU ARE FORCED TO DO ALL OF THEM WHO 98% OF THE TIME DO NOT MOVE THE GRANDER STORY IN ANY WAY. IT’S FUCKING ASS.

Characters? Idk, Eivor is decent and she has her moments of shine during the 2% of the story where they actually give her something to do. Sigurd is fine. I liked Ivarr and Ceolbert for the few hours they were in it. Hytham was there. Basim is the worst antagonist of all time. I think those are my thoughts, idk I’m kinda tired of even talking about them.

Music? I remember like 2 tracks and I swear they literally just played this one track the whole time in the overworld. Main theme is good that’s it.

Setting? Boring and lame, game being pretty doesn’t make up for it. Big open fields of nothing and 0 tree traversal in an Assassin’s Creed game that mostly takes place in the woods.



Idk this game is both a nothing burger and the most egregious piece of shit of all time. It’s a fundamental misunderstanding of what made Assassin’s Creed work in the first place and above all, just a shitty game in its own right. Easily one of the most worthless games ever made and one I cannot recommend in any capacity. A melancholic way to end this journey but having the 12th game fumble after 11 good runs is definitely still a very commendable legacy.

"For years I've been rushing around, taking whatever I fancied, not giving a tinker's curse for those I hurt. Yet here I am... with riches and reputation, feeling no wiser than when I left home. Yet when I turn around, and look at the course I've run... there's not a man or woman that I love left standing beside me."







Happy new year everyone! Hope 2022 is good and we don’t get any more viruses roaming the streets soon enough.

To start off the year on a positive note, it’s pirate time.


Black Flag is just special, that’s the best way I can describe it. This game should not work as well as it does for multiple reasons but the fact it does is an astounding showcase of the talent Darby Mcdevitt’s team had. This and Revelations stand at the top of this franchise. I think they’re about equal in quality but even after giving both a fair replay with new eyes and a fresh perspective, I still have a softer spot for AC4. I think it’s easily the most unique game in the series and it nails everything it sets out to do.

An Assassin’s Creed game where you play as a pirate rather than an assassin is an incredibly bold move, especially considering where AC3 left off and the huge expectations that this game had to live up to in order to continue the narrative of this franchise. This entire game can be summarized as one big character study of its protagonist, Edward James Kenway.

Edward to me is the best character to ever grace this series that’s already so packed with so many incredible ones. His charisma entrances you and his development puts him up there as one of the greatest characters of all time. It’s just impossible to not like Edward, he’s an absolute gem. His journey from a greedy and irresponsible pirate to a wise and punished assassin, ready to finally start putting his mind before his blade is storytelling gold. Matt Ryan's performance as Edward needs that shoutout because it's so god damn good. When that man screams YOU FEEL THAT SHIT.

Darby’s love for the philosophical aspect of the franchise shines here as brightly as ever. Putting the templar vs assassin conflict amidst the golden age of piracy and its eventual downfall is probably the smartest choice for a setting in the series to this day. A period where the battle between liberty and control is at its all time peak and the way some pirates end up falling in line with the world’s view of the templars while others persist upon their anarchist ways, aligning themselves with the assassins, is simply genius. Characters don’t feel guided by a narrative, they feel and think for themselves, resulting in a tale that spans decades and you FEEL that time passing, people changing and finally deciding to stand up for their own beliefs. It’s Assassin’s CREED at its purest form, I love it.

The writing for this game is just 11/10. Darby nailed not only the setting but also the people that inhabit the Caribbean. Easily this franchise’s strongest supporting cast, even its smaller players end up leaving a mark on you or Edward. Mary, Anne, Adéwale, Hornigold, Roberts and Thatch stand out as my absolute favorites, they’re terrific and the immaculate voice acting makes their already excellent writing impress that much more. The templars continue the trend started in Revelations, being characterized in a way where there’s never a black and white conflict at play. Torres and Rogers have such a commanding presence whenever they’re on screen and their convictions are portrayed masterfully. The final act ties Edward’s journey so beautifully and that ending is just unmatched.

Gameplay wise it’s AC3 with expanded ship mechanics. The ship combat in ac3 honestly sucked due to the system still being undercooked and the restricting linear nature of the naval levels didn’t help. AC4 gives you the Jackdaw, a ship far better suited to combat and much smoother to sail. The naval combat is fantastic and a ton of fun, being just the right amount of challenging. On foot it still has probably the clunkiest feel out of the older AC games due to the Anvil Engine overhaul but once you get used to it it’s still a great time. Vaulting works perfectly, climbing is responsive even with its eventual hiccups, combat although way too easy has a ton of options for style (some of which are hidden and never taught by the game for some reason like the double killstreaks), stealth is solid and gameplay scenarios are diverse. There’s an overabundance of tailing missions in this game which I definitely agree could’ve been reworked but as is, they’re well designed so you can breeze through them pretty nicely.

The open world is fucking beautiful and masterfully designed. Sailing through the Caribbean is so much fun and the abundance of diverse side activities really puts this game’s world far above the previous endeavors of the series. From swimming through the depths of the ocean, to hunting whales, to participating in the great side stories of the Templar Hunts, it’s just fantastic.

The music by Brian Tyler takes heavy inspiration from that one pirate franchise with Dohnny Jepp which is perfectly fine by me, it’s a fantastic soundtrack with a ton of standout tracks like the main theme, “Stealing a Brig”, “The Fortune of Edward Kenway”, “The High Seas”, “Take What Is Ours” and many more. The Sea Shanties completely steal the show tho, they’re so fucking good (LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWLAAAANDSS, LOOOOWLAAAANDS AWAAAAYYYY ME JOOOHNNN).

Modern Day is fine. I think the concept of it is interesting and it’s used very sparingly so it’s cute enough for what it is. It’s a shame the whole Juno story that carries from this game all the way to Syndicate is essentially worthless nowadays since it had its conclusion sidelined to a comic but hey Desmond’s ending also sucked after games of development so not the first time it happens lmao. The most fascinating aspect is definitely the introduction of Abstergo Entertainment which is literally Ubisoft so the message the developers wanted to spread through that is definitely some good food for thought.


Honestly, I can’t write this in any way that doesn’t come off more as gushing rather than a review. I just fucking love this game and literally have no real issues with it, it’s weaker joints are still cute or decent enough to entertain me and its entire soul just resonates with me in a way few other pieces of media are able to. One of the greatest games of all time, the highest of recommendations.

Playing through Drakengard 1 motivated me to face my past demons so this mf was first on the list



To me I can look at FE6 in two ways

As a "sequel" to FE7, man, this game is balls. The gameplay is worse which I mean that's fair because FE7 is a prequel after all but holy shit when it comes to the writing this is EASILY the most boring Fire Emblem narrative of all time and there’re absolute 0 excuses when it comes to that. It's basically gen 2 of Genealogy but you remove the build-up and intricate character work that went into making that game this grand epic tale of heritage and generational conflict, instead they said "hey let's make a game where most of the army are kids and you vaguely hear about their parents but they're not gonna be developed, established or even count as characters!" and even if you try to connect your brain to FE7 to fill in the holes it doesn’t work because the continuity is all fucked in so many ways. Most of the FE7 cast magically disappears, Hector is straight up disrespected, Eliwood is in it for 1 scene, God knows where Lyn is, PENT AND LOUISE ARE ALIVE AND JUST CHILLING IN THEIR HOUSE EVEN THOUGH THE COUNTRY THEY HELP RULE WAS BASICALLY THE MOST AFFECTED BY THE WAR??????

It's a mess so I’m mostly looking at it in a vacuum



The early game of this entry is easily the most annoying out of all the games in the series I played. The hit rates are obnoxious and your starting units fucking suck. As the game progresses you still have some really annoying level design but once you get some saucy units and they get beefy yeah, it’s still GBA Fire Emblem so it’s fun.

The plot like I said is a mouthful of nothing. The main antagonists are neat but they suffer from little screen time and Zephiel especially kinda ends up feeling like a plot device towards Idunn even though he’s supposed to be this interesting ideal driven character. Roy and Guinevere are the most boring leads imaginable. Roy especially feels like he was written by an AI that has no agency and just reacts to whatever the plot wants them to do in a text to speech manner. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY MERLINUS IS LIKE THE CO-LEAD TOO BECAUSE HE IS A GOD AWFUL ANNOYING POINTLESS CHARACTER. The cast as a whole tho taking supports into consideration is solid, some hard misses and boring ass supports but some hidden gems as well.

I feel like this would be a strong 5 but man the last 3 chapters (which you need to complete a bunch of stupid requirements to be able to play through, but let’s ignore that) are GREAT. Brunnya’s last stand is dope as hell, the dragon history lesson by Jahn is awesome (I really like Jahn he’s rad) and the final fight with Idunn although a bit too easy imo is really nice. The true ending in particular is fantastic. I truly adore Idunn, she’s so interesting and the conclusion to her journey is satisfying as hell. So yeah, those 3 last chapters at least for now kinda got me by the balls and elevated this real nothing burger of a story that features some cool characters into a nothing burger story that has a pretty sick climax that I still think it didn’t deserve. I hope they remake this game Echoes style one day because the foundation for a fantastic story is there, they just need to stop being hostages of Kaga’s vision of Fire Emblem which is ultimately what brings this game to failure, it’s a poor man’s Kaga Fire Emblem game both in gameplay (some maps are straight up copied from Thracia lmao) and in story.






So yeah the manga is better read Hasha no Tsurugi most of the shit I complained about Hasha goes out of its way to make it good here click this link rn pls
https://mangadex.org/title/d320eeff-08d2-424d-9513-77b17b219354

“No books... No wisdom... Just you, fratello mio. Requiescat in pace, Altaïr.”










This was the Ezio game I anticipated to revisit the most. Revelations used to be my second favorite AC game growing up and I was very interested in seeing how it holds up.
Suffice to say that it did not disappoint in literally any area.

I usually open my positive reviews by getting the negatives out of the way first and believe me when I say I legit have 0 complaints about this game (other than the PC port fucking sucking as always). It literally improves on everything I criticized the previous games in the series for while striving to be its own beast in the grandest of ways.

Revelations is both the most introspective and the most action-packed game in the series so far, two essentially polar qualities that it manages to masterfully balance.

This game serves as the final chapter in Ezio’s journey, now a living legend who has to embark on a journey in search for knowledge, closure, and self-reflection. This is easily Ezio at his best, his personality still shines just as brightly as ever but now with a thick layer of wisdom and grandiose that conveys just how far his character has come. His travels lead him to Masyaf, a grand return to the setting of AC1, and a brilliant way to give Altaïr some much needed closure while intertwining his tale with Ezio’s in one of the most beautiful narratives ever.

The story is absolutely fantastic, filled with incredibly memorable dialogue and deeply charismatic characters, all wrapped up in a perfectly paced script. Yusuf’s overdose of charisma, the refined and fascinating affairs with Suleiman, the beautiful and organic romance between Ezio and Sofia, everything is so damn good.

As the first mainline game written by Mcdevitt, he leaves an incredible first impression with the best script to grace the series so far (a script that would only be topped years later by his second go at it but I’m getting way ahead of myself, if you know you know). His writing manages to hit deep while keeping an endearing and engaging energy going full speed at all times. He brings back the philosophy to the conflict between assassins and templars, presenting the opposing faction for the first time since (partially) AC1 as human beings who strive to attain peace through their own beliefs and understading of the world. We get an insanely smaller amount of corridor sequences but every single one here hits thrice as hard as any attempt Brotherhood made. Ideological debates are presented and Ahmet establishes himself firmly as the best antagonist to grace the Ezio trilogy.

The setting of Constantinople is widely considered to be one of the weaker locations in the series.
I violently disagree.
This is one of the absolute best worlds AC has ever been graced with. The atmosphere is on point as always and the city is compact and beautiful. However, what stands out here is the level design. Complemented by this game’s mechanics this is easily the second-best designed city in the franchise (only standing behind Paris from Unity). The rooftops and overall geometry of the city make for an insanely fun playground to free run in, coupled with the fantastic addition of the ziplines and other traversal assistances scattered throughout the buildings, making parkouring through Constantinople a delight. This is where the addition of the hookblade shines, one of the best gameplay additions in the whole series that sadly didn’t stay. An extremely fun tool that makes traversal insanely better.

The Brotherhood and city management system from the previous game make a comeback pretty much intact but with a few tweaks. Templar dens replace the Borgia towers with the added gimmick of possible attacks, meaning you can take over a spot and have it be taken away from you by the templars once again, triggering a really cool tower defense style mission that is a great addition to the gameplay. The brotherhood now boasts a few hand-crafted recruit missions that were sorely needed in ACB, featuring a narrative showcasing how Ezio convinces his leaders to join the cause.

This game also clearly took some inspiration from Uncharted because it’s filled to the brim with crazy set-pieces that honestly put most of the action sequences in that series to shame. These utilize Revelations refined parkour system to its maximum potential while also boasting the occasional really fun puzzle that organically integrates the parkour to the challenges.

Another thing this game home runs is the tutorial segment. It fully trusts you to be up to speed at this point, not nerfing Ezio in stupid ways like Brotherhood did. You start off the game with next to no control hand holding and with a properly equipped Ezio, keeping his most useful tools from last game like the parachutes and the climb leap. Also, he has the best drip in the series by far in this game (fight me).

The OST is phenomenal. Lorne Balfe makes his debut alongside the return of Jesper Kyd and their work is fucking incredible. The cutscene tracks, the main theme and the theme that scores the streets of Constantinople are so damn good.

The modern-day segment is incredible. There isn’t much gameplay going on there but the Animus Island and Subject Sixteen are so intriguing and captivating. Easily one of the coolest parts of this story with a stellar integration of Desmond’s arc colliding with Ezio’s.
(UPDATE) I completed the Desmond's Journey missions a day after finishing the main game and holy FUCK. I am very glad I did not skip these because they're so fucking good. Easily my favorite segment with Desmond in the whole series.
Seeing his past from birth to the start of AC1 beautifully chronicled through this crazy introspective mind trip scenario that is expertly crafted not only through creative puzzles and fascinating visual storytelling but also by some of the most enthralling writing in the whole game. Desmond’s monologues go HARD and getting such an interesting deep dive and analysis of who he is as a person, his place in this world and how he feels about the situation he was forced into is absolutely incredible. It recontextualizes a lot of his presence during the first few games and why he’s so determined to see his role as an assassin being properly carried on. It’s the best shit ever and yet another incredible home run for this game.


All in all, this is one of the few games I’d dare to call perfect. I cannot fathom how Ubisoft was able to put this out in 8 months but it just goes to show how balls deep they were into this series back then. Pure art, a masterpiece in storytelling and game design.

“In the end, only we ourselves can guard against our obsessions. Only we can decide whether the road we walk carries too high a toll. We believe ourselves redeemers, avengers, saviors. We make war on those who oppose us, and they in turn make war on us. We dream of leaving our stamp upon the world... even as we give our lives in a conflict that will be recorded in no history book. All that we do, all that we are, begins and ends with ourselves.”










Ho boy there’s a lot to go through with this one.

The first next gen AC game, easily the most infamous title in the series (at least in the eyes of the mainstream audience). I was so fucking hyped for this game and I played the shit out of it back in the day and LOVED IT. I thought the campaign was meh but the gameplay and content more than made up for it.

It’s been almost 8 fucking years tho (holy shit I feel old) so it was time to pass judgement upon France and decide if young me was foolish or not.

He was kinda spittin tbh.

I like this game a lot but the amount of stuff I have to complain about requires way more In depth discussion so although I’m positive on it I’m gonna have to let the negatives take the majority of this review. So, let’s start with the good stuff.

The gameplay. That’s it. That’s what makes or breaks if you like this game or not. It is so fucking good man holy shit.
The parkour feels actually heavenly, they perfected the art of climbing shit nicely while lookin sick to the maximum output. Free running down is a godlike addition and Arno’s movements are insanely smooth. Everything just feels super nice. We didn’t lose vaulting which is great but we did lose ledge grabbing which is definitely the one nitpick I have with this parkour system. Outside of that though God damn is it fucking incredible.
The combat is probably my favorite in the series. It doesn’t have the crazy amount of useless but stylish tools and options as the Kenway games had but it makes up for it by being the first actually challenging and skill-based combat in the series. Instead of counter killing we now only have access to parrying or rolling from incoming attacks which is just exactly what AC combat needed. Everything is really weighty which makes the combat flow super nicely, even if the clunkyness of Unity’s engine shows itself from time to time.
Stealth is also one of the biggest improvements. Instead of being only able to hide in stalking zones, Arno has access to a crouch and cover system that makes infiltration that much more functional and satisfying. Social stealth kinda takes a back seat with the gimmicky aspects but it’s still in there full force whenever crowds are involved (which is essentially a constant in Paris).

The world design is insanely good. The recreation of Paris is so on point that it’s honestly scary to think the amount of work and effort that went into designing every facet of it. Buildings are tall and wide while the streets are narrow and crowded, creating essentially 2 planes of the world that the player can choose to traverse through. Building aren’t just there for showing and can actually be accessed at least 85% of the time which not only facilitates traversal but also helps to breathe even more life into the city due to how beautifully decorated and modeled the interiors are.

Single player side-content is p good. Lots of things to do ranging from building your Café-Theatre to taking part In Paris stories, very simple missions mechanically but they sport unique story scenarios featuring various historical figures and events that definitely got the kicks out of my nerdy ass. The crime investigations stand out a lot and they’re really fun and creative.

The multiplayer stuff I can only speak for my experiences from when Unity came out because I played that shit Day 1 and I had tons of friends on it to do everything. The raids were insanely hard to pull off properly with 4 dumbasses doing shit with no sense of coordination but were still a really fun time. The story coop missions are excellent and are basically the only cutscene story-based side missions you get so they’re definitely not something to miss.
For this replay I played Unity entirely alone (who the fuck trynna play this game in 2022 dawg LMFAOOO) which gave me a fresh experience and perspective. I was not aware of how scarce the money gain in this game was (Dead Kings is more generous but that’s essentially post game) since when I played it back then I basically did most of the coop stuff before I was even done with the campaign so I was drippin legendary fits real quick. When you’re alone tho it’s way harder to get to that level but it’s not a necessary thing to get through the main campaign. I did it just fine with very simple loadouts.

The progression in this game is quite unique because Arno is fully customizable from his equipment to the first skill learning mechanic in the series. It’s pretty good, I really like it. There’s a sense of constant improvement that’s very remarkable and customizing the look of Arno and his weapons is really fun and varied.

The presentation is immaculate like this game still looks graphically insane all these years later.

The OST is good. It can be somewhat forgettable honestly because a lot of the tunes although well composed feel more like background noise for you to get immersed in the period. It works for that but few compositions stand out on their own. The main theme in particular is pretty good but it feels like they play it in every single major scene which makes it like the only track that’s actively trying to be memorable. The one track that I really fw that stands out a lot is “Chase by Chase Basis”, it’s quite a banger.

Aight. That was all gameplay stuff because this game was a massive overhaul so there were a ton of things to be addressed. How’s the story though.

Well, the best way I can describe it is disappointing.
Unity takes place during the French Revolution, a time period marked by the fall of the monarchy, having their control stripped away by the people in the name of “Liberty, Equality and Fraternity”.

Yeah, I don’t think I need to explain why that’s one of the most perfect periods to set an Assassin’s Creed story in. Beyond the sheer visual potential this time period has, it’s something that had the duty to explore the philosophical aspects of the series and give a creative spin to history.

Well, unfortunately they mostly failed.

Unity is way too superficial with its themes and messages and many of its concepts are presented initially as super interesting but never developed at all. The French Revolution barely has any effect on the actual story and serves more as a cool looking background conflict more than anything.

The main character Arno Victor Dorian was the son of an Assassin who after his father’s death, was adopted by the Templar Grandmaster who chose to raise him properly and never attempt indoctrination, choosing instead to leave the boy out of that world. It’s a parallel and the complete opposite of what happened to Haytham in AC3 and yet this aspect of Arno’s life is not utilized at all and only mentioned in the story ONCE. His drive is merely to make up for what he did to Elise, hiding it behind a facade of justice and redemption. It’s such a waste of potential and it’s only one of the many wasted aspects of Arno’s character.
Next up is his characterization. Arno is introduced as a smartass jovial horny goofball who’s really charming and likeable but once he becomes an assassin, he literally just becomes another person for no reason. His entire personality is gone and he’s now stoic and cold, only giving straight comments and looking pissed 24/7 (WHICH MAKES NO SENSE HE WAS AN EXPRESSIVE IDIOT AT THE START). Sparks of his old personality show up from time to time, usually when he needs to have a big character moment like his drunk descent before the third act which is handled pretty well even if rushed, but these instances are really rare and inconsistent (at least until Dead Kings).
The last and final nail in the coffin to establish Arno as the weakest MC in the series so far is Elise, his love interest. She fucking sucks and he literally has nothing else going on inside his head during the main campaign that doesn’t concern this woman. Their relationship is sold as a cool forbidden romance because he’s an assassin and she’s a templar but Unity’s superficiality strikes again since that conflict only amounts to “you’re not in my boy band so I can’t fuck with you fully”. Elise is also a really terrible templar figure because she literally has no templar conflicts or ideals on display at all, the whole story she literally just wants revenge and being a part of the templars is just an inconsequential detail. There’s not a single scene where Arno and Elise explore that dichotomy they’re being faced with, not a single fucking scene where they have any sort of ideological debate. It’s such a waste of time and honestly Arno doesn’t act like an assassin either (until Dead Kings but again WE’LL GET THERE). The Paris bureau is a court of idiots who only command Arno to be their delivery boy which to me goes completely against the sheer concept of the Creed and yet they banish Arno from the Brotherhood because he was thinking for himself (even if himself was mostly his dick but y’know).

As you can gather it’s a mess and there’s still more.

The cast of characters is the worst in the series maybe to date. The only side characters I kinda enjoyed were Napoleon, Sade and Bellec and those 3 are barely in the narrative. The templars SUUUUUUUCK. We’re back to going through a narrative that’s just a hitlist of random templar goons that sport neat designs but have no personality or actual character at all and the only exposure we get as to who they are is when Arno murks them (which btw in this game instead of the classic confessions we get this bizarre and horrible replacement where Arno somehow telepathically sees important memories of his targets the moment he kills them???) so yeah, the villains stink. The main antagonist Germain is alright, I’d even say he’s kinda neat due to a few pretty good scenes he gets. He’s still really undercooked though but his good design, voice acting and presence make him a solid antagonist. I enjoy his connection with De Molay a lot I think it’s a neat idea that’s executed nicely enough.

The ending is REALLY weird because on its own I think it’s really good and legit way better than this campaign deserved but a lot of its elements feel unearned (Arno’s final monologue is fantastic but I can’t say I witnessed the man reaching that level of understanding throughout the game) while others weirdly address the weak parts of the script like Arno’s obsession and the way Elise pays the price for her selfishness. It’s a good ending tho, the final scene with Germain is dope as hell, like it a lot.

So, after the campaign there’s Dead Kings, the story DLC that Ubisoft gave for free due to the launch disaster. Fortunately, I can report that Dead Kings is excellent in all of its aspects.

It’s more of Unity’s brilliance as a game but with a good script to back it up. We reunite with Arno sometime after the ending of the campaign, now a disillusioned and depressed man towards France who wants nothing but to leave that dreadful country (relatable). Dead Kings in line with Unity’s ending begins to weaponize the script’s issues into something that actually works ("Sometimes love is a prison" is a line uttered that perfectly encapsulates this story). Arno is now stoic and brooding like he was before but he has an emotional reason to be that way and yet his proper personality still shines through here more than in the campaign once he meets Leon. He goes through a really nice character arc that gives him closure and a really nice send off to this game’s narrative. It’s just really good stuff and the city of Franciade is awesome.




This is my longest review so far by far and it honestly still feels like I either omitted certain details or simplified others which I think tells everything about how complex my feelings towards this game’s writing are. But even with all those fallings I still don’t think it’s a horrible story, it’s more of a mediocre one that has VERY short-lived sparks of something special. What Unity lacks in the writing department to me it more than makes up for with its game aspect. The gameplay is wonderful and the world is incredible, it’s deservedly the black sheep of the franchise to most but it’s still something I can find a lot of appreciation for even through some of its mistakes.

“We must continue the fight and defend the free will of the people. And no matter how small, our Brotherhood is the only hope and our kingdom needs no crowns. What we believe in, our values, our Creed, will unify us. And I promise, that for all the sons of Egypt I will be the father that I was not that day in Siwa.”



Here we are. Uncharted territory for me. The start of the infamous RPG trilogy, an attempt to take AC back to formula by literally diving deep into the origins of the series’ iconography with even a middle eastern setting to create that faint atmospheric tie to AC1.

To start the review off I guess I can talk a little bit about my history with this game. I was fully on board with a break after Syndicate given that I came out of it underwhelmed back then but the moment Origins was unveiled my interest in the series essentially completely died because I rejected this entirely on principle alone. I didn’t follow the development cycle and didn’t even become aware of the jump to rpg until way later.

What caused that rejection though? It’s pretty simple, I thought the idea of a game about the origins of the brotherhood was ultimately pointless and seemed desperate even. I had a strong feeling it would devolve into groan worthy iconography setups (which tbf I wasn’t entirely wrong) and a misguided narrative. Why should I care about the creation of the Creed? The Creed was painted as misguided and corrupt in AC1 with Altair having to reform its values entirely in order to secure that it would live on properly through the next generations. You literally kill the old man of the mountain in what’s essentially a history divergence moment that led to the Brotherhood not fading from existence like they did in real history. Any form of the assassins that came before Al Mualim should not matter, that was my view on Origins and I sticked to my guns for almost 5 years.

I’m a different man nowadays tho so it’s time for me to face my demons. And I have to say, Origins is pretty sweet.




Since this plays completely different from the games that came before we gotta talk about that gameplay extensively.

It’s fine. I think movement is a severe downgrade (the new “parkour” is bad, fuck BOTW dawg) and the world is clearly not designed for an actual Assassin’s Creed game which sucks because I know that’s not changing for 2 more games. Having that botw esque climb on anything mechanic is useful and definitely something I feel like the more open older AC games like Black Flag and Rogue seemed to lack sometimes but having absolutely no control over stuff like sprinting or a proper parkour system is just a terrible call. Combat is decent, it’s fun in short bursts but gets repetitive with time. I played this shit on hard so I definitely had the hardest time out of any game so far due to the get hit twice and die nature of it all. Stealth is really simple and also just kinda functional. That’s pretty much how every facet of gameplay goes. It’s all decently fun but I definitely vastly prefer the old formula to this rpg take.

Progression is definitely where this was losing me the most. I think Unity and Syndicate both had great implementations of a leveling system and this game basically went the boring and dull route instead of having any ounce of creativity. You only really get xp when doing side quests so you’re artificially forced to grind some side content in-between main missions in order to keep Bayek properly leveled for the campaign. It’s lame and since the campaign has a hefty chunk in the middle where it becomes a series of isolated subplots that don’t move the grander narrative at all, it really makes that issue even worse.



Now let’s talk about that narrative and ho boy, there are some slips here and there but I definitely think that overall it delivers.

Let’s get the obvious out of the way, Bayek of Siwa is immaculate. He makes this game work. He’s essentially classic Kratos in Assassin’s Creed and much like that character, there’s a beauty to the simplicity and raw emotion that drives him forward. Abubakar Salim is EASILY the best voice actor to ever work in the series, his portrayal of Bayek is actually next fucking level. This game’s narrative is the most no-nonsense revenge story that I’ve seen in a while. It’s refreshing really in an era so in love with stories about breaking the cycle of violence to witness Bayek’s brutal and straight up primal quest to avenge Khenut and free his soul to the afterlife. I love how the one moment he hesitates to kill his target it’s not because he didn’t want to continue the cycle of violence but because he didn’t want to let go of his son and move on. Beautiful shit honestly.
I was initially disappointed by the lack of philosophy in this story since if you wanna go back to basics that was the core of AC1. Upon further reflection though, I feel like having the Brotherhood be born from such a raw human emotion and leaving all the philosophical “You either cum on the sink or you sink in the cum” stuff to Altair works really well and completely kills my big gripe I had with this game since its announcement.
I like Aya a lot, I wish she was in it more but I guess you guys really wanted to empower the misogynistic producer. Great job Ubisoft.
The way the Brotherhood is conceived is pretty cool but this game also had a lot of what I like to call “Solo: A Star Wars Story” prequel writing that definitely had me groaning at times. Stuff like the origin of “May the father of understanding guide us” and Aya fucking saying Requiescat in Pace had me howling but other stuff like the ring finger ritual, the symbol of the brotherhood and the origin of the “Stay your blade from the flesh of the innocent.” tenet (I played the Hidden Ones dlc yeah it was dope as hell) were pretty good.
The worst part of the narrative is definitely that middle chunk with the 4 targets that was clearly there just to pad out the gigantic open world design philosophy because the main quests were essentially one-off subplots that didn’t really contribute towards the main narrative. They were fun on their own but by the last target I was getting tired of it. The 3rd act of the narrative delivered doe.
It’s a very heartfelt story with some incredible moments (that opening scene is a violent hook).

The setting is incredible even if I do not think the whole big spacey open world philosophy fits Assassin’s Creed. I still gotta credit how beautiful Egypt is.

The OST is fucking great too, Sarah Schachner knocked it out of the fucking park. Bayek’s theme accentuating his core scenes and creeping in many of the other tracks is so good and the way it compliments the Ezio’s Family remix is immaculate. Other great tracks like “I Walk on Your Water” also really stand out.




Overall, I had a pretty good time. The bloated runtime with its pacing issues (I cleared Syndicate’s map 100% and finished with 26 hours while this game took me 48 and I still had a few regions unexplored) definitely were souring me for a bit but the strong characters and especially really REALLY strong MC make this a very hard to forget ride when it peaks. Not in love with the RPG Assassin’s Creed concept at all but this was definitely a story worth telling.