FreeThinker
2024
Generally fun, but also generally disappointing. The first half sets up a pretty cool adventure, but the writing and pacing in the second half is atrocious. In spite of that, completing the game still left me sentimental and empty (in a "sad to say goodbye" way).
2018
fun until you realize youre doing the same thing over and over and over and over... mostly at the whims of RNG. i don't normally like roguelikes but this one was occasionally fun. my main problem is i still don't like roguelikes
gave up on the final boss because i felt like i already got everything i needed to out of the game
gave up on the final boss because i felt like i already got everything i needed to out of the game
a game where flowers talk to you like youre 3 years old, but 100%ing some levels requires literal psychic knowledge of hidden blocks and off-screen secrets (you want me to jump down this random pit? the one that looks like all the other mario pits that KILL YOU when you fall in them?)
i rip off my jacket, revealing a t-shirt that says "I ❤️ PUZZLES I HAVE NO CHANCE OF SOLVING WITHOUT A WALKTHROUGH"
i rip off my jacket, revealing a t-shirt that says "I ❤️ PUZZLES I HAVE NO CHANCE OF SOLVING WITHOUT A WALKTHROUGH"
2007
basically all you could want from a website called chess.com
2023
the ridiculously sluggish and hand-holdy tutorial made me so nervous that i would hate this game. thankfully it was another 10/10. probably the best one so far. i can't wait for Pikmin 5 to come out in 25 years...
extremely specific nitpicks:
- whoever did the treasure names this time around completely failed to emulate the style of the Pikmin 2 treasure names. Pikmin 2 would NEVER have named a tiny plastic sword "Bright Sword". way too literal. it would be called something like "Imitation Branch". someone needs to make a mod that changes the treasure names to be more Pikmin 2-y
- this is a problem Pikmin 3 had too: the production value on the music is too high. Pikmin 1 and 2's OSTs had a distinctive quirky and weird sound that has evidently been abandoned. bring it back!
- some characters' stories are essentially left unexplained. again. again. this time, it really starts to come off as lazy writing. the main story would have been much more cohesive with even like 1% more effort in this area
- text moves too slowly, especially compared to Pikmin 2 which was super mashable and friendly to speed readers
extremely specific nitpicks:
- whoever did the treasure names this time around completely failed to emulate the style of the Pikmin 2 treasure names. Pikmin 2 would NEVER have named a tiny plastic sword "Bright Sword". way too literal. it would be called something like "Imitation Branch". someone needs to make a mod that changes the treasure names to be more Pikmin 2-y
- this is a problem Pikmin 3 had too: the production value on the music is too high. Pikmin 1 and 2's OSTs had a distinctive quirky and weird sound that has evidently been abandoned. bring it back!
- some characters' stories are essentially left unexplained. again. again. this time, it really starts to come off as lazy writing. the main story would have been much more cohesive with even like 1% more effort in this area
- text moves too slowly, especially compared to Pikmin 2 which was super mashable and friendly to speed readers
2023
all is right with the world
2018
not my kind of gameplay. worse than that, the artistic direction is just kind of ugly and unpleasant
my brain is not built for this video game
2017
i actually didn't finish this but i think i got the point. the boss fights were really challenging in a good way, something i wasn't convinced 2D platformers could pull off. did not care at all about the story. can't stress enough how little i care about this. something about ancient kingdoms and their history just loses me completely
i know this is a sacrilegious complaint to have about a Metroidvania but i wish there were a "casual mode" i could turn on where it marks all the unexplored areas and undiscovered secrets and treasures on the map. in an effort to find certain things, i started using a website with a marked-up map, but it would be way more convenient if it were built into the game.
i know this is a sacrilegious complaint to have about a Metroidvania but i wish there were a "casual mode" i could turn on where it marks all the unexplored areas and undiscovered secrets and treasures on the map. in an effort to find certain things, i started using a website with a marked-up map, but it would be way more convenient if it were built into the game.
2016
disclaimer: i 100% concede that i wasn't playing this relaxing farm sim game "correctly"
i had a ton of fun with this for about a week until i felt really guilty about how much time i was wasting. the same sickness you might feel after it sinks in how much time you have spent on a Cookie Clicker session. also, because i was obsessed with playing "optimally" and minmaxing all my farm activities, i realized i was having as much fun as i would have doing irl chores. i thought to myself "why not allocate this focus to real homework or a real skill i want to practice?" and uninstalled the game
i had a ton of fun with this for about a week until i felt really guilty about how much time i was wasting. the same sickness you might feel after it sinks in how much time you have spent on a Cookie Clicker session. also, because i was obsessed with playing "optimally" and minmaxing all my farm activities, i realized i was having as much fun as i would have doing irl chores. i thought to myself "why not allocate this focus to real homework or a real skill i want to practice?" and uninstalled the game
2015
my play session of this game devolved into throwing the pieces around and vandalizing the table
the good thing about computerized versions of board games is that they can automate away all of the hassle that comes with board games (setup, enforcing/knowing ALL the rules, distributing items...). i would love a way to play a bunch of board games online in one place but i respect myself too much to play a digital board game engine that insists on simulating the worst, menial, unnecessary parts of the board game experience. just give me the fun part. "well actually, this criticism is invalid, since as the name implies, Tabletop Simulator is for people who WANT to fully simulate a real life board g-" i don't care i'm too lazy to do that
the good thing about computerized versions of board games is that they can automate away all of the hassle that comes with board games (setup, enforcing/knowing ALL the rules, distributing items...). i would love a way to play a bunch of board games online in one place but i respect myself too much to play a digital board game engine that insists on simulating the worst, menial, unnecessary parts of the board game experience. just give me the fun part. "well actually, this criticism is invalid, since as the name implies, Tabletop Simulator is for people who WANT to fully simulate a real life board g-" i don't care i'm too lazy to do that
2004
missed the boat on this one by about 10 years sadly. hopefully s&box can become garry's mod for the modern gamer (me)
i have spent probably 25-30 hours just walking around doing puzzles. i have not done any story shit at all and just unlocked the really early-game camera feature last night. i remember thinking BOTW was overrated but i feel comfortable giving this 5 stars on gameplay alone despite barely having touched the story. (putting hands in the air soyly) GOTY! GOTY! GOTY!
2022
i'd give it 5 stars if they balanced salmon run
fun and chill but understandably controversial gaming experience. 999,999,999 hours of side content. at some point after spending 30 hours trying to rebuild a highway you're like "wait, why am i even bothering with this?" once you come to the realization that every side quest is pointless if you already have a ton of gear you like (trucks and guns basically), you can just cruise through the rest of the game at a much lighter pace.
other notes:
- kojima's first game to have good boss fights.
- chiral artist quest was the 2nd most boring/uninteresting/hard-to-sit-through part of the game (see below for #1)
- no amount of vague complaints like "oh man, if you think mgs is bad about dragged-on info dumps, just you wait" will prepare you for credits in this game. truly psychotic game design.
- content excessiveness isn't a bad thing because you can decide whether you want to interact with it, but i'm never ever readings logs or reading 50 emails every 3 mins
other notes:
- kojima's first game to have good boss fights.
- chiral artist quest was the 2nd most boring/uninteresting/hard-to-sit-through part of the game (see below for #1)
- no amount of vague complaints like "oh man, if you think mgs is bad about dragged-on info dumps, just you wait" will prepare you for credits in this game. truly psychotic game design.
- content excessiveness isn't a bad thing because you can decide whether you want to interact with it, but i'm never ever readings logs or reading 50 emails every 3 mins