Now that the distraction's out of the way, it's time to finish this fucking game lmfao. Kiwami 1 was a solid remake, but remaking the first one was bound to have some problems attached. It's Yakuza 1. After it dropped, RGG didn't know if they were gonna even make another one, and you could tell at the end. But, we actually got another one, and here we are with Kiwami 2, the remake of the second one, this time coming in on the brand spanking new dragon engine. I think Kiwami 2 is one of the better games in the series, whether that's a hot take or not idk, it feels like any take with this series is hot to someone.

Kiwami 2's story has some batshit dumb twists (cough secret korean cough) but goddamn I'd be lying if I said I wasn't engaged. It's another "Tojo clan is about to freaking collapse Kiryu help us bro" type of plot, but involving an old grudge and a bloodline bound by fate. First off, I love the new cast of characters here, Karou rocks and Ryuji is an all timer antagonist. Old characters return here too, Haruka, Date, the Florist, Majima, etc. Yakuza really has such an interesting and wide cast that it can get away with any goofy ass plot twist or rugpull and still take itself seriously. Yakuza has some dumb fuck rugpulls in the series, but a part of me fucking loves it. I guess I'm a sucker for dumb shit twists. Granted, here some twists you knew from the first minute but at the end it was supposed to be a big eye revealing twist, but hey, it's okay cuz Gary Buster Holmes is here again. There's also a new little storyline for Majima, for people who love Yakuza 0. I love Yakuza 0, and I love this (plot wise at least). Kiwami 2's story is endearing and great, but fucking batshit, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Hoo boy the gameplay. Remember how I said this game is on a new engine? Well, the dragon engine was a bit rough at first, and goddamn, it can be rough. Granted, Kiwami 2 is fun to play 90% of the time. It's not godawful combat that I've seen others say, but it's jank. It is undeniably jank. Sometimes enemies will be on the ground, and the new engine lets you swat at em from the ground, but Kiryu will just fucking miss. And of course, the most infamous thing about the engine: the ragdolls. Oh. My. God. 90% of fights for me the ragdoll will start jumping all over the place, and it was always entertaining. It's actually insane with how janky the ragdolls are. Fights also happen in real time, so you can take fights inside establishment, and have the worker there get pissed at you and not sell you shit. It's pretty cool. Now, Kiryu is fun to play, but the Majima Saga's gameplay fucking sucks. It's only three chapters so there wasn't a whole lot put in there, so Majima feels so limited, and it's so jank to play. You still got your side stuff too, golf, baseball, the arcades actually have arcade games here unlike Kiwami 1 with that stupid fucking mesuking shit. Kiwami 2 is junk food gameplay, it's bad for you but it's fun.

I like a lot of the side stuff here. Substories here are so much better than Kiwami 1's, you got some iconic ones like the mommy milkers fetish guy (it's as weird as it sounds), you got faux kiryu, and some others. Fun stuff. But outside of substories, you got some other things as well. Clan creator is here too, a little sidepiece about Majima Construction, glory be to it. I think it's fun and goofy but the last mission can go fuck itself. Cabaret Club Czar is also here, with some more 0 fan service too. It works basically the same, and it's a fun distraction from the main plot, if you liked the 0 club czar missions you'll like it, the gooners will like it, I liked it. Alas, no buff dudes and tough guys to hire to beat the shit out of other dudes, so it pales to the construction subplot.

Yakuza game with a good OST I'm shocked. The jazzy battle theme in Sotenbori (Outlaw's Lullaby) has so much sauce, the Majima Construction anthem is so goddamn catchy too. Update with Gunfire is a jam too. The Sound of Breath is a decent track too, it's used in a lot of scenes though lmfao. Karaoke is fun here too, you got Like a Butterfly from 6 which is just so fucking funny his glasses man it's fire. Majima has a song here too which breaks my heart. The OST is good. Thumbs up.

This is one of the better Yakuza games I'd argue. From it's batshit but captivating plot, the cast, the music, the side content, and fuck it I'll say it, even the gameplay at points, it all just works nicely. Now it's time to replay 3.

wonder whats inside of sexy pub prison tho

Memento Mori

I remember the night I beat Persona 3. It was a late hot night, around May. I remember the March 5 scene so vividly, getting hit with that screen transition that takes you to the credits, being bitch slapped by Memories of You. It's one of those things that sticks with you. Now, years later, and here we are with that remake that was endlessly rumored about. To preface this, this is kind of a double "review" in a way, I wanna compare and contrast the original with the remake, what works more and what doesn't, and all of that. The TL;DR: give both versions a whirl at some point.

I feel like the original Persona 3 is a game that I should love more than I do. Don't get me wrong, if you asked I'd tell you "yeah I think Persona 3 is remarkable and one of my most cherished video game experiences." It's themes of death and memory, it's story, it's cast, it all just resonated with me so hard, and the social aspects of it are neat to an extent as well. Top that off with that rad as fuck soundtrack, and it's a hell of an experience. But as a game, I don't have all too much fun with it. Now, I know that I'm picky with turn based, I don't hate it but it's not my favorite type of gameplay. It can be fun I don't wanna sound like some obnoxious ass, but it's not always engaging, and P3's gameplay was rough to me. I know why it is the way it is, I get it and respect that choice, but here's where I stand: If I'm not having fun, then it's not good to me. I don't like tartarus all too much, it can be a slog; I don't like not being able to directly tell my teammates what moves to do, I know the tactics are there but it can still be messy. But the story, cast, and theme really make the strife worthwhile. So the remake was announced and I had some worries but wanted to be optimistic. I haven't been as in love with Persona as I was since I was 18 (I still love the sub series but man, talking about it isn't very fun lmfao) but I was cautiously optimistic, and with every piece of info I got less scared about the remake. Atlus is a weird company, they suck but they know how to make a good game, and the remake is good. Really really REALLY good.

To get a teeny tiny bit personal, death is something that I've been thinking about every day now for over a decade. Even more so now, and I feel like a lot of us have been, with that pandemic and things just going to shit around a lot of us, myself included. It's hard not to think about it. With that, it feels like this remake dropped at the perfect timing. P3 was one of those games that could help me kinda cope with some of life's issues (and Death Stranding kino peak game), so having this game rn in a brutally tough chapter of life is nice. Despite the depressive storybeats and all that, Persona 3 is one of the most life-affirming games out there. It's beautiful. And the remake really nails it. It doesn't change too much to make it an entirely different experience, but makes the changes it needed to make.

I won't get into spoilers, but I do still wanna talk about the story, why it's important, and why it works so well. Persona 3 on paper is a "prevent the end of the world" plot that has layers and layers of shit in it. There is a ton of depth with the characters, the story, and the themes. The cast is so great, they all have their flaws and vices, and you watch them all grow throughout the game as they experience both fond memories and terrible tragedy, and all these experiences shape them up, and it's done and told fantastically. I think overall P3's story is my favorite in the subseries, and here it's basically unchanged. Reload does make some additions that, while they don't fix my complaints, add needed context and scenes to flesh out these characters. It's not really spoilery I think, but there's another group in the game called Strega, and aside from Chidori, they were just so bland and one note. The new scenes expand their story and purpose in the plot and I like that, but Takaya is still really goofy at points and Jin is just boring. As for the dub, well, I think a part of me will always prefer the original, but I do like this dub. To highlight some of the performances, I think Fuuka's VA is genuinely great, I love how "gooberish" she sounds in the original, her OG VA sucks in an endearing way, but here she really fits the character good. I've seen people complain about Yukari's VA but I don't see the complaints. I think she's great too. Akihiko's still leaves me mixed, not a jab at the VA himself, but something doesn't click. I got used to it but it still was on my mind. Mitsuru and Junpei are basically one to one for me, especially Junpei he fucking nailed it. He got Junpei down to a tee, he stole the show for me. A part of me thinks it's cute to have the OG cast in some minor roles, kinda like a passing of the torch, but at the same time it feels like they were right there but just decided not to for some odd reason. Overall, Reload had me hooked once more. Can't stress enough how great the story of P3 is without getting into spoilers, but fuck, it's just great.

Social links were the new thing at the time of P3's release, adding a new layer to the gameplay. You had your high school life in the day, and the dungeon crawling at night. Social links were not only little side stories for characters both in your squad and randos in the world, but were tied in to the persona fusion mechanics as well. The higher the rank, the more XP you'd get from fusing in that arcana, and if you max the arcana out, you'd be able to fuse the ultimate persona of that arcana. It was an interesting mechanic to add in the game, and I think I like the mechanic in a way. It adds some depth to both the gameplay and the world as well. Interacting with not just your squad but people outside of it make the world feel bigger to me. As for the quality of them, well, P3 has some of the weaker SLs as a whole I'd argue, but it was the new thing so, hey. Not to say there wasn't ones I liked. I think the main cast had great links, and my all time favorite social link is here with the Sun arcana in Akinari Kamiki. But with every Kamiki or Yukari, there's that fat piece of shit and Kenji. Another cheeky thing that P3 did was that if you wanted to max all arcanas out, you were forced into a fucking harem. It's the biggest meme out of P3's SLs you and I both know it, it sucks, moving on. So, where does P3R take these links. Well, first off they feel the same overall, with some touchups and SOME big changes. The biggest is that for the first time in the series, every single rank is voiced, which I hope becomes the wave moving forward. It adds some depth on the social links here that I love. I think the VAs here were fine, Yong Yea was inoffensive which is all he needs to be, the fat fuck SL (I always forget his name) was goofy enough to find some entertainment out of it. Yuko's VA was great, I thought her SL was fine in the OG, but I like it a bit more now, she brings some character to it. And for the monkey's paw: you aren't forced into a harem with everyone, but at the cost of having the ability to break everyone's hearts in a cruel cruel manner. There's some SL's where you can keep it from prompting, but when you don't and you have to crush their spirit, it feels so fucking mean lmfao. Another thing they do here is add these social events for characters who never had a social link to begin with, like the male SEES members and a character who gets introduced later on. I like the new scenes they added with them a lot. I think they're great. Overall, the good is good and the bad is still bad. It is what it is.

Now the MEAT of the gameplay, fuck all that sissy pussy shit, you're a big man who wants that action, and none of that gay ass fatlus shit. Well, P3's gameplay is infamous, for better or for worse. Tartarus is a long long dungeon, it's always random to make it feel more fresh, but would always kinda blend together. Grindy isn't the word I'd say (to an extent), but tedious is. I'm sorry, but Tartarus is not the most fun thing to me. And the actual combat? Well, Persona 3 does this quirky little thing where you could only choose the action of the protagonist, and no one else. Everyone does their own action. Atlus wanted to emphasize each character's individuality, which I like in that way, but to play through it, ugh I have no fun with it. I get it, it ain't makin me have fun, but I get it. Granted you can kind of dictate it with tactics, but still, just never clicked with me, and probably won't. So, here we are in P3R, and hallelujah, we can control the party. It makes it much more bearable. As for tartarus, well, it's more bearable? I don't hate it? It's less tartarus changing too much, and more some some tweaks, gameplay changes, and some visual changes that make it less of a chore this time around. So, despite the party control changes, not much else is changed, but there are some interesting changes. Remember those little persona moves you could do in the original, like those special attacks with your personas? Well, they come back in the form of "Theurgy". Later in the game, everyone has this gauge that will fill up with certain actions. When filled, the character can do a special move to either buff the party or do a special attack. Theurgy on paper coulda made the game too easy but I think it works. I like it. Oh, right, difficulty. I played P3 on normal way back when, so I played it here, and despite what I just said, P3R is way easier than before. But here's the catch for me: P3 was harder but less fun, but Reload was more fun but much easier. I don't mind difficulty at all, that's not P3's issue, but if an easier time means a more fun time, then I think I'd take that here. Granted, my dumbass should've played on hard, and hard stuff is there, I still think Elizabeth is hard as shit. But some things that were hard aren't here. Play on hard if you've played P3 before.

Ah, the soundtrack. The most consistent good thing about Persona. All these games usually have a nice OST, each having a unique vibe to it. P3 has a nice soundtrack, there's some pop, hip hop, and rock elements to it, and it has this chill vibe. It's a vibe. P3R has some redone tracks here, and they're fine. They brought back Lotus Juice for these tracks too. I like Iwatodai Dorm's redone track a lot, When the Moon's Reaching Out Stars is great, Mass Destruction is a track that is so old to me and it's so boring already (I'm sorry, but vocal battle themes in this series age like milk for me. It's not that they're bad but they got old fast for me.), and here it has a weird quietness to it. It's fine but damn. The redone tracks at the end are fantastic by the way. Memories of You and Burn my Dread, fuuuuck man. As for the new tracks, MWAH. Color Your Night is the chillest fucking track ever, it's so good, and Lotus Juice sings in it too it's great. Full Moon, Full Life is an all-timer. Vanilla P4's intro was my favorite going in, and this one is inching closer to it. I fucking adore it, visually and musically. It's Persona 3, it's a good soundtrack, you and I know it. Nothing much to say.

The jump to the new 3D models is a blessing and a curse. The models look nice themselves, but some of the animations can be weak. Plus, they get over reliant with it at points, taking away from some of the scenes, especially at the end. Some moments loose some weight cuz of it. The style and UI changes are good too, I like the water stuff they got here n all dat. It's fine. As for the portraits, they're fine, but once again, some changes take away some of the charm. There is a certain Yukari portrait from the original that is gone, and wasn't redone, and it's a TRAVESTY. TRAVESTY. These are the brunt of my complaints though, which is a really good thing when you think about it, cuz if stuff as little as that is the majority of my complaints, then you know this remake is legit.

I have to say, it was so nice to jump back into Persona 3 once more with this remake. My love for the games feel rejuvenated, it's so nostalgic and nice to experience this again. I love Persona 3, warts and all, and this remake is so great. So, what version is best. Well, I hate to say it, and I will probably get shit on for it, but if you asked my honest opinion: I think I prefer this one over FES. Now, as I said earlier, play both versions if you can. I think the original Persona 3 is still worth playing (despite issues I have playing it). I think the argument about that is kind of lame, so it's not really worth having. Just play both.

Fuck this game for starting that annoying bathhouse trope in these games god it SUCKS STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

You know, there's just so much I'm doing right now. I been replaying Yakuza to catch up to Infinite Wealth, been playing Tekken 8 having a fun time with that, and Persona 3 Reload just dropped, at late June for that so far. So you know what my dumbass decides to do? Run a quick week in paradise in between all of that shit piled on me.

Postal 2 is janky, weird, offensive, edgy, gross, and juvenile, and it wears it with pride. I adore the shit out of Postal 2, RWS, and their attitude. Postal knows what it is, and says: fuck it, have fun with the game, and this game is endlessly fun. You got this little open world, with a wide range in your arsenal (even more so now that RWS, the loving bastards they are, continuously updated the game for years. The people who made this game where you pee on people until they throw up, care more than 90% of AAA studios) and the devs say, "hey, you do you". I really love Postal even more so with it's shortcomings, it's a labor of love from a studio and the community around it.

Story? Who fucking cares. RWS don't there's a grave that makes a joke about it. It's simple, you play as the everyman of Paradise, The Postal Dude, a guy out on his luck with a few screws loose in a town that has even more. Your wife kicks you out of your trailer giving you tasks to complete by the end of the day. You do these tasks, wacky hijinks occur. Rinse and repeat. The jokes are juvenile and offensive in a lot of ways, and while the game isn't the funniest, I crack smiles at a lot of it every now and then. Maybe it's the brain rot but peepeeing on someone is funny. But they know it, and still want you to have some fun with it. You take this game seriously and you look like a dumb asshole. Big thing I wanna talk about in this tab though is Postal Dude's VA, Rick Hunter. I love him and his voice, and his smug ass performance here is one that spawned an interest in VA work (alas, not fulfilled because you have to have some talent, which I don't). His tone and timbre really sell the dude. Btw, all the Dudes rock, Jon St. John, Corey Cruise, hell even Zack Ward is fun, but I'm a basic bitch, Rick Hunter is my favorite.

Now, the shooting is basic. You point the gun, it fires. It's not the most satisfying shooting system, it's all hitscan, and some weapons aren't the best. The shotgun can be fun but wonky and the Machine Gun isn't an all timer. But, the rest of the arsenal can be effective and fun. The pistol is great for long range, a ton of the melee weapons are so fun to use, like the axe, the scythe, the machete, etc. Stronger weapons like a double barrel shotty, the MP5, rockets, there's a lot of fun ways you can be a bastard. There's a lot of fun and crazy setpieces where you can go crazy with it all. Postal 2 is just stupid fun in the best way possible. Despite all the violent ways you can kill people in this, the game's tagline is actually right. You get crazy set pieces, but you can be a complete pacifist, never needing to fire a single shot. It's the funniest joke this game does, despite all the controversy and shit, you are never forced to kill, you're given scenarios where the devs just let you decide what to do, emphasizing the sandbox and the motto of the game.

Postal 2 sucks, and it's why it's a personal favorite of mine. It takes it's jank in strides, using it in the best way it possibly can. It's endlessly replayable for me, and I always try to find a way to go back to it when I can. Will I play Apocalypse Weekend and Paradise Lost now? Maybe when I fucking finish what I'm doing right now for fucks sake.

The original Yakuza is... something else. I have a weird love to it, and even its bizarre as fuck dub (something something 10 years something something pussy). So having a remake of it is an interesting prospect. Now, I'm gonna be honest: replaying this has made my thoughts on it lower than before, but I still enjoy Kiwami a ton. I think it's a good game and has some of my favorite things in the series, but it's incredibly flawed.

Speaking of flaws: the plot. Now, Yakuza Kiwami starts (sort of) and ends so strongly. But the middle portion of the story is, sluggish. There's a lot of interesting characters and they can play off of each other well too, but the pacing is fucked. It's either hyperspeed or a slog. For example, in the start, you want to get a ring for a character. So you cop it, get pickpocketed, run to a pawn shop, they keep raising the price of the ring, it gets bought, and then you go get the ring. It's a mess. Character deaths don't have the weight they should because of this too, it just gets brushed by too fast. But the ending, somehow, it sticks the landing despite tripping the whole damn way through. Big thing I love about Kiwami is Nishikiyama. He's still one of my personal favorite Yakuza villains, and the added context with this and 0 strengthen it for me too. It's got a nice enough conclusion to it (kinda spoilery but not really: i fucking laughed my ass off when I heard fucking Amazing Grace as the credits theme I totally forgot and it's so funny to me idk why) that almost makes that middle portion worth it.

So, the middle part can be a slog, but Yakuza has side content that can make it more bearable, right? Well, Kiwami has the mini games, the karaoke (which i liked but compared to other games, wuf), and then the arcade (altho the old arcade games aren't here, instead you have Mesuking. Mesuking blows, moving on). It's the usual affair, but the side stories here are laaaaame. There's some good ones, I enjoyed the pocket circuit stuff again, but a lot of them tend to be the same schtick: oh no Kiryu is going to be scammed, don't let it happen and then you throw hands and then the substory ends. Some of the weakest ones here. But there's another side piece that is both controversial but kinda sorta loved.

Majima Everywhere. Majima Majima Majima. Majima in the OG had enough of a part in the story, but since his insanity is loved by the fans (me), they wanted to have more Majima here. Majima will constantly be on the prowl in Kamurocho, he'll find you in convivence stores, arcades, pocket circuit, etc. His whole schtick is that he just wants to fight you, and have a proper fight as well. Now, I love Majima Everywhere as a side piece, there's a ton of fun encounters throughout (Goromi, the stripper Majima, everyone's idol, etc). It could work as a cute distraction that could give some side awards that aren't mandatory. But, Majima Everywhere begins to crumble when you realize that it's tied to the entirety of the Dragon of Dojima style. Tying that in with leveling a fighting style is SHITTY. Majima Everywhere can be grindy and random, and because of all that combined, it begins to feel tedious. Stuff you NEED is locked behind higher tier Majima encounters. It's really crap. While I love the encounters, as a system it doesn't work how I'd want it to work.

So, a lot of bitching, but the gameplay is really really good. Remember how I complained about Kiryu's style in Y0? Well, it feels so much better. Other moves are useful now, Rush isn't poopoo, you aren't just ganked 24/7, making fights more enjoyable, and it just has a really nice feel. Using all the styles feels worthwile here rather than just sticking to Brawler or "Legend" like in 0. I had a ton of fun playing Kiwami, there really weren't fighting encounters outside of one that left a sour taste in my mouth.

Kiwami 1 is a solid enough remake of a flawed enough game, it adds a lot of things that enhance the experience but also loses some of that charm the original eeped out every now and then. Kiwami 1 gets a lot of flack from what I see, but it's a good game, it's worth your time. Play it. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do. Onto Kiwami 2

10 years in the joint made y-

I finished replaying this last year and forgot to log it, so this is the log. Plus I might as well as I'm replaying the Yakuza games I've played so I can move on and catch up.

If there was ever a Yakuza game that I would call the "gold standard" Yakuza game, it's 100% this one. It was my starting point into the series and I'm sure it was for many others as well. The first time I heard abt the series was in some fucking game informer magazine review for 4 way back when, and never really caught my eye. But then I found out more about it, and it began to pique my interest. Yakuza 0 is a great game. Flawless, hell no, none of these games are, but it's a hell of a ride.

The story hooked me instantly. You have a younger, earlier version of both Kiryu and Majima, and it showcases how they got to where they were at the start of the first game. The story has so many great characters, and both sides of the story are so goddamn captivating. Kiryu with his relation with the Dojima family and especially his tragic oath brother Nishiki, and Majima being locked away in Sotenbori eventually being thrown down a gigantic rabbit hole that eventually wraps up with a bow so fantastically. It's funny, it's charming, it's emotional, it's a damn good story, Majima's side especially. I won't spoil anything but fuck the ending is just great.

The gameplay of Yakuza 0 is: fine. Sometimes. When I play as Majima, I have a ton of fun. He's got the best playstyles out of the bunch. Thug is the most basic one, but it's fun as is. But then you have the slugger and especially the breaker style, which add so much spice to the gameplay. Not to say Kiryu's styles are bad mind you, I do like the beast style especially, but the gameplay feels worse as Kiryu. Majima's can be too easy, but when I play as Kiryu, ganking becomes a bit of a problem. It's nothing too bad until one certain part near the end. Wuf. But, Yakuza 0's combat is flashy and entertaining, while not the highlight of the game.

The side content of this game is great, you have some really fun substories, minigames, eateries, etc. Substories add a lot of fun world building to Kamurocho, they can be endearing, sweet, funny, or bizarre. One minute you're helping a relationship, the next you're teaching an S&M dominatrix be a better dom. It's awesome. The minigames are fun too, you got some arcade games like out-run and space harrier, you got baseball, mahjong (idk how 2 play it lmfao), etc. And of course, you got the karaoke, which is very cute. Speaking of that:

Yakuza 0's soundtrack is a bop, tried and true. There are so many great tracks from the battle themes, to the music playing depending on your style, etc. I love all the boss tracks in the final chapter a lot, and of course you got the karaoke. Baka Mitai's only fault is being over memed and becoming "reddit" but it's a nice track too, I really love hearing Kiryu's VA sing it's great. "24 Hour Cinderella" is such a charming track too I fucking adore it, and my all time favorite Yakuza track (hurrrrrr so basickkkk) is Judgement, it's great and once again, Kuroda just kills it. I wish I sounded as good as Kiryu (my voice is deep but I sound like a toad).

So, Yakuze 0 is a treat of a game, and if you ever wanted to get into Yakuza, this is one of the games I think you could start off with. It's got a lot of things both veterans and newcomers can appreciate, and it's earned it's reputation. Good game this is Kuze if he had roblox.

2D Mario hasn't been the best in quite a while. The best 2D mario has been in the 21st century has really never gone past "good". I liked NSMB and NSMB Wii, but other than that, the formula has gone stale and bland. Mario has thrived with some great releases, but 2D Mario hasn't been as lucky. But Mario Wonder brought me a child like whimsicality that I really haven't felt in years. Mario Wonder is an incredibly charming game, and has so much love and effort in it, and its just oozing with such creativity and I adore it to death.

The level design is a 2D Mario game, you bing bing wahoo throughout, collect some collectables, stomp on enemies, you know the drill. The big game changer is these wonder flowers, which open up pandora's box for the game. Here's an example, and it's one you most likely know about: In World 1, the second level has a wonder flower where the piranha plants begin singing a marching tune. It's one of the cutest, most creative things I've seen, and I thought that's where the game would peak, but the game just kept getting creative, kept it's charm, never really ran out of steam. Another gimmick I love is how the beat of a song can be used into the gameplay's gimmick, where jumping on beat can enhance the gameplay for you. And when ideas are rehashed, it's done in a way where it never felt lazy or got boring.

There's some new powerups, but they're not the most exciting imho. They can be fun but they ain't grandiose. You have the normal stuff, the mushroom and the fire flower and all that, then you have a flower which lets you shoot bubbles, a drill mushroom which can let you drill into the floor and some walls, and the elephant, which turns you into a big ass elephant. They're fine, but they aren't the thing that elevates the game.

Musically, yea it's good, it's mario. You got fun whimsical tracks throughout, fun little music sections that tie into the gameplay as well, it's all good. Yuh.

Mario Wonder left me with a child like spirit that I really hadn't felt in so long. It warmed my cold, dead heart in such a way that a game hasn't in years. It's a cute, charming game, you should play it.

Btw if you mute the flowers fuck you, they add so much charm to the levels that muting them is unacceptable by law. Fuck you.

I like to come back to this game every now and then, just to reminisce mainly, but to just wonder about what happened if this became the big shooter it deserved to be. Titanfall 2 is something that never got big in the mainstream, but not for the reasons expected. When I played the first Titanfall back in 2014, I liked it but never got hooked. It was way too barren, and its why I skipped out on Titanfall 2. It took me a couple years to touch it after it released, and I was surprised with how damn good it was.

The gameplay has two different styles: the fast paced wall running run and gunning of the pilot, and the slower, heavier, and damaging gameplay in the titan. The way they blend in with the gameplay as a whole works, despite what some may say, the titan gameplay is still fun as well. I will admit though, the game shines when you're outside, running and gunning. The gunplay is great, and it rocks knowing you don't need the best aim to win, you can just improvise something out your ass and win a gunfight. There's layers on the ground, you can slide and jump, use the basic fps abilities, and it always feels fresh and fun to play through. But, going into Titan fights is also really fucking fun. You can just blast pilots away, and then getting into mech fights just makes my ape brain activate, I love it. There are different types of classes you can play as in Titanfall 2 but Scorch is for the real ones so.

Multiplayer is great, I play it more casually but damn, every time I play it I have a fun time. It's been having issues throughout the years, with cheaters and ddosers and all that fun stuff, hell it almost got to an unplayable point, but has had some updates recently and while it's still not perfect, I had a good time getting back on and playing some matches. There's not a whole lot I can bitch about being too broken or too busted, they probably exist but I never have issues with balancing. I just go in, I shoot and run, I play as Scorch cuz I'm real and based, and just have fun. It's as simple as an apple pie, but just as good too.

Titanfall 1 was missing a key feature: a single player campaign. Titanfall 2 makes up for that with one of my favorites in an FPS. The levels are made to highlight both playstyles and do it so perfectly, the mission where you're travelling through time is a highlight people always point out but for fair reason, it's a unique gimmick. The game's story isn't deep, there's no real character development, but the charm is there with Cooper and BT 7274's dynamic, its cute and in this house BT-7274 is a hero. End of discussion. It's always fun to replay the game, but the boss titan fights are always just so easy. I played it on hard and smashed through it with little to no issues. Still, it's a ton of fun to just play through.

Titanfall 2 is the game I needed but don't deserve. It's fast and fluid, it's gameplay is unique and fun, it's campaign is well crafted and good fun to play, and it really is one of those "hidden" gems. Nowadays it's well known that this really is a good ass game, but it still needs to be known because, fuck me, I am fucking SICK of Apex Legends give me Titanfall 3 dammit.

Finally sat down and played through the whole damn thing. Black Mesa is a really remarkable mod, a fan creation that intends to fully remake Half-Life 1 but in the source engine. I'll always prefer the og over this even though it's really flawed and hasn't aged the best, but I respect the absolute shit out of Black Mesa.

Half-Life is a game and series that's near and dear to me, I adore it to death. And being a Half-Life fan is an interesting life, Valve rarely gives it the love it deserves and the last time there was a Half-Life game you had to get an expensive as shit VR set, so I never got to play it. Remaking Half-Life is a tough task to handle, not only that but putting on an entirely different engine too. And while it took years to finally finish it, but the end product is incredibly solid.

The gameplay is arguably weaker than the original's, since it's overall not as fast and frantic as the original game since it's on source. It's not that it plays bad, but Source half-life has never been carried by its gameplay per se (although I think it gets a little too much shit). I played the game on hard, and all the earth chapters felt way easier than the original did. The schtick of "run think shoot live" is there, but the easier difficulty really makes it less of a problem. Only time I had an issue on Earth was in one small part of Surface Tension but that's really it. There's also a lot of moments where you just randomly get stuck in the level's geometry. It happened a lot on my run, and it got a little annoying. But the gameplay is still fun enough to keep you invested.

The graphical leap from the gold source to this is really overwhelming (endearing). Seeing these old levels and areas updated into this is really something special. The art team here really did a bang up job, updating the graphics and look whilst still keeping the good ol Half-Life feel. They did not have to go this hard on it, I remember playing this almost a decade ago and holy shit, they just blew my expectations out of the water. The soundtrack is also pretty solid, there's a couple of tracks here that I really enjoyed, although, it does feel like a style mismatch from the electronic tracks of Half-Life 1 sometimes(esp the credits, I miss the og credits theme lmao), minus those surface tension tracks those slap and have the half life feel. But still, the music is solid enough for me to look past it.

Recently, they finished the last push of Half-Life: Xen. Now, the thing is, Xen is notoriously terrible. Clearly cobbled together last minute, and just sucks to play. Awkward platforming, lame progression, and it's kind of ugly to look at nowadays. Only plus side is you can push through Xen pretty easily and quickly. So, with Xen being the thing they had spent so much time on, how did it end up?

From the get-go, Xen is drop dead gorgeous. I spent time just looking around, soaking the environment all in. One detail I loved about the Xen chapters was the color pallet change as you inched closer to the Nihilanth. It's phenomenal, and, again, the art team deserves so much kudos. From the spralling alien looking forest areas, to the industrial factories housing the vortigaunts, it's all exceptional. But how is it on a gameplay level? Well, it's 10000x better than Xen, but thats really not saying much. Xen here is HEFTY. It felt much longer, beefier, and more challenging. Sometimes Xen feels too ambitious for it's own good, at some point I just was wondering when it was gonna end and it just kept going on. But, when it hits, it REALLY hits. I can't express enough how much I love the effort put here, especially for such a small team, it's on the level of professionals. The scale of Xen, while it can do some harm, really helps life Xen as well, giving you the feeling of "you have one shot or we're fucked". It's great. I had a really fun time in Xen, and respect all the time and effort they put into it.

Overall, Black Mesa is probably the best Half-Life mod period. The ambition, the love for Half-Life, and the dedication to their game is so damn commendable. I'm glad we get mods like this every now and then. They did NOT have to go THIS hard with it, but they put 200% into it, and I fucking adore it.

(hunt down the freeman bodies doe jus sayinf...)

Starting off, it's very unfair to rate something that I did not finish, so I will not give a sort of rating. Now to be honest, I was not feeling it from the get go, but I want to have a short tantrum about it.

The gunplay is very good, but despite that, some areas feel poorly designed in some ways, and just became a slog before anything else.

Remnant II also has a feature that can shake up replays, where you will randomly start in some areas and continue on from there. Neat gimmick, but since Remnant II felt like a double edged sword, I ended up having some issues. I only had like 4-6 hours into the game, I started on Ne'rud and got to the Labyrinth. Ne'rud felt uninspired to traverse through, and the Labyrinth just felt too gimmicky to me. I've talked to some friends and they said that I just had a shit start, and while I'm inclined to believe them, I just don't have the effort (or time rn) to push further.

I admit my review is deeply flawed (to the point where I can't really call it a "review"). Granted I was on solo play, and this game was 100% made for the co-op experience. Some day I wanna return to this, mainly if they ever add crossplay. But for now, it's not my cup of tea, despite liking games in the same vein. Damn shame. Maybe I'm missing out. Someday I'll find out.


also the writing is fucking awful lmfao

Open world games are so oversaturated at this point it's not even funny. The problem with the trend isn't the premise of the open world, but the fact that 90% of the time, the open world isn't interesting or feels put in just to have an open world to begin with. They have big worlds, but the openness is only there in terms of size, not in what to do, and more egregiously, with the openness of gameplay. There's only a handful of open world games where the open world aspect sticks with me, MGS V with it's freedom of gameplay, Death Stranding with the ability to populate the world with your own and random player made structures and roads, Elden Ring by feeling like the grandest adventure of all time, and 2017's Breath of the Wild. I've seen a recent trend from people writing off BOTW, and I never understood it. Yeah, it's not perfect, the "dungeons" aren't very good, some shrines are bland, it can be repetitive, and the final boss is lame, but the game does what all open world games should do: emphasize player freedom, and it does it so gloriously. It's the inverse of the open world game trend where the open world is what makes it so special. BOTW is not my favorite zelda, but it's still a borderline masterpiece. Despite that, I wasn't sold when seeing some of Tears of the Kingdom at first, I was worried the magic would be gone, that everything done right would be regurgitated in the worst way and the new stuff would not be substantial enough. But I was a goddamn moron for thinking this, because not only does it improve from the worst aspects, but the best aspects are improved tenfold as well. Much like Elden Ring was last year for me, this game is a goddamn miracle game.

Story stuff will be brief, don't wanna delve too deep because A) Spoilers and B) Does anyone care that much? Parts of TOTK's story are worse than BOTW, which was a shallow story already, but parts are better as well. It's middle of the road stuff, peaks and valleys. Some parts feel, safe I guess, but I wasn't expecting risk too much, although it would've been nice. I will say, this might be my favorite Ganondorf in the entire series, they really made up for calamity ganon. But overall, it's a story. It exists. It is told to you, the player.

So, what does TOTK do with the open world? Well, Hyrule is still Hyrule to an extent, you'll still run into mini-bosses, lynel, materials, enemy camps, villages, stables, etc etc. Not too much has changed, but things have been added and improved still. I'm so glad I don't have to do a vapid as fuck jumping sequence in order to unlock map towers. There's still some puzzles and stuff, but man it's much much better. Hyrule being similar is a fair enough complaint, but I felt the exploration here worked with me more than it did with BOTW, like this is the definitive Hyrule for me. Not only is there the land, but you have the sky and the depths. The sky features some small little islands where you can do shrine quests and some other little things, they add some spice and I enjoy it. I really enjoyed the depths, exploring it all and mapping it all out was fun. Really kept me in. The open world is somehow even better than BOTW's which is a hell of a thing to do.

Gameplay has some new quirks too. The biggest being the mechanic of building up some crazy things. I love this. I love it a lot. I spent so much time just making goofy contraptions. It's not just a gimmick either, but these can help you with a lot of gameplay aspects. Gloomy area in the depths? Make a vehicle and navigate it much more smoothly. Can't get to that island, make a plane and fly over there. You can even get crazier with it, and make giant mechs out of parts. It's insanely deep and at times wants you to get crazy with it. Other new gimmicks include "Ascend", which makes traversal a lot better too, a time freeze ability which I used the least but can be used to cheese things, and fuse, which I seen some complaints that it's existence nerfed weapons more, but I love it, and adds a lot of spice to weapons for me. Speaking of weapons, they still break and can be bad if you aren't prepared for it, I never had a problem with that mechanic but if you did, then you might be more flustered about it. Another new thing is something BOTW had done sort of with the champion's powers, and it's the sage's powers. It's much better, the stuff in BOTW had lame time limits and were just kind of bland, but these are a lot more useful. Tulin makes traversing faster and much better, especially in the sky, and Yunobo has a neat attack that can be helpful with spelunking, but Riju and especially Sidon's I barely needed to use. One thing I hate about traversal, and this is Elden Rings fault: horse riding limits a lot. It can be faster, but then you run into the slightest hill and it freaks the fuck out, and torrent fucking spoiled me as traversal in Elden Ring with it is far from an issue. Thanks fromsoft. One last flaw: I wish some the new mechanics were emphasized more in dungeons and bosses, but I can forgive it.

Speaking of bosses and dungeons, how are they here? BOTW's biggest flaws were both of them, and I'm happy to say, they have been improved.... to an extent. Bosses are much better here, there's more variety that aren't just a variation of calamity ganon, and are more fun to fight. Only dungeon fight I didn't really like was the water temples dumbass octorok, but other than that, massive step up. As for the temples, well, I have issues yet again. It's hard to make these temples as all the tools and stuff you got can easily be cheesed, and they are 100x better than BOTW, but they have the same gimmick: find x amount of locks, and fight the boss. Wind temple is middle of the road, Fire temple I liked, Water temple was not fun too simplistic and boring, and the Lighting Temple was pretty solid and had a decently fun puzzle with light. But man, if you compare them to traditional dungeons, they aren't near the quality. But I'm glad they're improved. Bit spoilery, but not really, but the final boss does not incorporate these mechanics well enough which is lame, but the fight is still incredible even if it's traditional. Still loved it.

Performance, man, the performance sucks. I haven't seen a framerate this inconsistent since the peak of gaming: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. It's rough. A lot of times where my framerate dips around 20 FPS, maybe even less, but it's not enough to ruin anything about this game. You can tell your switch is slowly dying with every waking minute.

Tears of the Kingdom is one of my favorite zelda games, and another addition to the good open world list (which isn't big but I'm glad there's a list). Any game that emphasizes player freedom usually ends up being something that I fucking adore, and I adore this game a ton. By the time I finished, my switch page told me I put "190 hours" into it, I was that invested. It's one of those games where after you finish, you think to yourself: "now what do I do". Good game should not be 70 bucks nintendo.

MGS V is one of the most bizarre things I have ever experienced in anything. Almost a masterpiece, so much about it works, it's addicting as shit, but then when it crumbles it takes the whole building down with it

First off, the open world aspect of this game is actually fantastic. Going into the wild doing side ops and fucking shit up is the most fun you'll have with this game. The game has a strong emphasis on player freedom, as any open world game should have, and it's awesome. Wanna go in stealthy, no problem. How about guns blazing? You can do that. And you can do it in so many creative ways. Fulton dropping shit onto people, decoys, you name it. Not only that, but the gameplay is almost flawless. Stealth is perfect and how you control and do shit feels so incredibly nice. Chapter 1 highlights all the fun you can have with this game, it's genuinely fantastic

Then chapter 2 comes in, and the magic begins to run out. The main missions of MGS V, like Peace Walker, are episodic. You have certain objectives to complete, but they still emphasize freedom of gameplay perfectly. But then, once you fight Sahelanthropus, the game gives in. Missions become tedious variations of missions you already completed. It's even worse because they have requirements to beat them a lot of the time too, and in a game that emphasizes freedom of gameplay, it felt so counterintuitive. Chapter 2 really has one mission that's worthwhile, and that's it. Open world side-ops shit is still fun, but damn, it's rough.

The story is not the best believe it or not, but I'm not gonna deny the fact that I was entertained. Skull-face is such a funny MGS villain, his motivation and aspirations are so bizarre, and then he'll give you a monologue or two then walk away and basically let you go, it's all hilarious to me. Lets not forget the fucking jeep ride. Woah ho. A lot of story aspects feel half baked, and in Chapter 2, are told so sporadically, that the pacing just completely falls apart.

There are good things about the story I like, mainly Venom. He's a good protagonist. Yeah, he doesn't speak a lot, but Venom kind of serves as a player vessel in a way, and there's still a lot of character growth with him visually, not just in the script. For example, in one of the best missions in the game, he does an act that almost breaks him down, and in the cutscene, he sees himself as an actual devil, and the horn grows to look like a demon horn. You can say it's corny but I fucking adore it. Won't go too deep into it because some things don't need to get spoiled, but there's one spoiler I wanna talk about, and it's one you more than likely know about already

The twist ending.

It's not the twist that irks me, it's how it's presented. The message from The Man who Sold the World is just ham-fisted in at the end, and feels like an unearned rug pull rather than a well presented twist, it's almost like Rian Johnson wrote it (follow my letterboxd). You play like 50 hours and then boom, right at the end "oh surprise you're medium sized boss rather than the big one!". It makes this game even funnier because it literally just exists to fill in a plot hole that didn't even need to be explained.

In short, Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain is the funniest game of all time.

One of the most polarizing games ever made, Metal Gear Solid 4 is a game you either adore to death or vehemently despise. It's an enigma of gaming, something that can't be denied is how it truly stands out from literally anything else, whether it be for better or worse. Metal Gear Solid 4 is a game that exists to be the finale, to finally let a series rest before it gets old and tired. This game highlights how fucking batshit insane Kojima is, and I fucking adore it to death. MGS 4 may not be my favorite thing ever made, but goddamn theres a part of me that holds it to that standard.

The most underrated aspect of this game is the gameplay to me (for the most part). The controls are solid and the gameplay works, but what makes me love it is that some levels have depth to how you handle the mission. Do you want to go full on stealth? Go ahead. How about going guns blazing? That's there too. The octocamo aspect really sells it for me, blending into the ground sneaking through a raging battlefield is so fun to me, or having the choice to go on the offensive as well (at some points getting some rewards for doing so too) is really good. The gameplay has some issues, I don't hate it but the chapter 3 on rails part isn't the greatest, and the game is more cutscene than game, but goddammit it's still super fun to me.

Graphically, I think it's really spectacular with how well it holds up. Yeah yeah it's got the late 2000s piss filter, but it looks kind of fresh still to this day. It kind of boggles my mind that it's a PS3 game, it's arguably one of the best looking games of that generation I'd argue. Performance though? Well, it's a launch PS3 game, and no matter how much Otacon brownnoses the high tech blu ray discs, PS3 games did not run great especially on launch. This game's framerate dips dramatically at points. Everytime I play it I feel like my PS Triple Ballin is on the verge of melting through everything.

The story of this game is so unapologetically batshit insane. At times it feels like Kojima was throwing darts onto a wall to find out what to put in next (I can imagine the look on his face when the dart landed on Cyborg Raiden), and yet, it's why I fucking love it. There are genuinely fantastic parts of this story, the biggest being Snake. He's at his lowest point ever, he's only in his 40s yet his body is that of a geriatric. He's depressed and loathes who he is and how his life has been nothing but never ending conflict (there's a really neat but fucked detail in the game where if you kill a certain amount of people in a mission, Snake remembers when Liquid tells him that he enjoys the killing and vomits in disgust of himself. Really clever details like this elevate the game higher). The way his body is failing him fits with his mindset. He's just tired of it all. And David Hayter is a legend, motherfucker literally almost destroys his throat and still gives it 200%. I know I'm giving Kojima way too much credit here and I'm like 90% sure this isn't the point, but Snake feels like the embodiment of what Kojima feared Metal Gear could end up as: old and tired. Again, too much credit, but when I see the game in that lens it elevates it a lot. Other characters shine in this too, Otacon is still the best bro in gaming, I need me a friend like Hal, I like Raiden in this too tbh I know a lot of people don't but I thought he was fine. Also really love Liquid in this he's a fucking asshole in the best of ways (the gif of him walking back and mocking the camera gets me every fucking time). The game has a shit ton of fanservice but I never groan at any of it (mostly). Hell, my biggest issue with the game is one character, if you know you know. I hate him so goddamn much genuinely why is he a thing. Of course I have to mention the epilogue sequence, which is one of my all time favorite cutscenes in any video game it's fantastic. Don't wanna spoil too much (I know it's a fucking 15 year game but I don't care), the series is something everyone should play at some point in time so shhhhhhhhhhh. Just know MGS 4 is bizarre, weird, rough around the edges, yet to me, it sticks the fucking landing spectacularly in spite of it's issues. War really did change.

Whether you love or hate this game, theres one thing that can be said: Metal Gear Solid 4 is the most game of all time. You got depressed old men, you got conflict all over the globe, you got cyborg ninjas fighting mini metal gears, and you got monkeys smoking cigarettes and drinking cola. There will never be a series like Metal Gear Solid. There will never be a conclusion like Metal Gear Solid 4.

EDIT: realized I said "Ocelot" instead of Otacon lmao dont type out reviews at 3 AM.