1999
A driving game that's so awesome, SEGA is a possessive douche to anyone that wants to make one similar to it! I didn't get into Crazy Taxi until a local arcade randomly got it and I slowly became obsessed with clearing it with high rankings.
One of the most rowdy arcade driving games ever made, nothing compares to its breakneck pace! It feels incredible to drive the vehicle and understand its mechanics, building up a score by attending customers is supremely satisfying, the soundtrack is very fitting, and the visuals are so colorful and charming! The game really breathes with that SEGA arcade heart I miss so dearly.
One of the most rowdy arcade driving games ever made, nothing compares to its breakneck pace! It feels incredible to drive the vehicle and understand its mechanics, building up a score by attending customers is supremely satisfying, the soundtrack is very fitting, and the visuals are so colorful and charming! The game really breathes with that SEGA arcade heart I miss so dearly.
The Silent Hill game that was so trash, Japan didn't even want it. It is almost indescribable how offensively far a dev team can miss the point of an established series. Some would say it was their emphasis on adding depth to the combat, but I argue that it's only worse than the original games.
And the shitstorm doesn't stop there, the entirety of its visuals range between ugly walls of rust or drabs of grey, making exploring negative fun. The story manages to be nonsensical and over-simplistic at the same time, none of the characters are unique or even remotely charming, their obsession with blood and gore is just obnoxious, and the enemy designs can be narrowed down to naked depictions of birth/brother symbolism. It's all just so abhorrent.
The only people I imagine appreciating this game are ones that played it when they were young. As someone that was just catching up to the SH train back in 2008, I was dumbfounded by how awful this game turned out.
And the shitstorm doesn't stop there, the entirety of its visuals range between ugly walls of rust or drabs of grey, making exploring negative fun. The story manages to be nonsensical and over-simplistic at the same time, none of the characters are unique or even remotely charming, their obsession with blood and gore is just obnoxious, and the enemy designs can be narrowed down to naked depictions of birth/brother symbolism. It's all just so abhorrent.
The only people I imagine appreciating this game are ones that played it when they were young. As someone that was just catching up to the SH train back in 2008, I was dumbfounded by how awful this game turned out.
2007
When this was new, I thought it was awesome! I'm not sure how much the novelty of having a brand new, robust-looking installment to Contra on a handheld system added to that general enjoyment when I was in my late teens as an avid Contra fan. And, to rattle off the things I like, it controls totally fine! It plays as it's supposed to (however the fact that it dropped the strafing mechanic from SS/Neo is annoying) and the bonus content was plentiful. They gave you a lot for this quarter-sized DS cartridge!
The overall design, however, is terrible. It has such an awful pace that makes the stages feel even more of a drag than they already are (each of them are too long by at least a solid 30 seconds of tight gameplay). The fact that they utilize both screens for pure gameplay was a poor decision. The grappling hook mechanic is worthless, feels like they came up with the idea but had a hard time implementing it to anything remotely engaging. And where the likes of Contra Shattered Soldier had its fair share of retreating old grounds, at least those returning enemy designs looked fantastic being rendered in 3D and usually offered new methods of attack, mixing up the overall experience. Here, anything returning looks like shit, and just about everything new is lame and forgettable.
I'd like to properly analyze why I severely fell out of love with this game. All I know right now is every single revisit makes this game look worse in my eyes.
The overall design, however, is terrible. It has such an awful pace that makes the stages feel even more of a drag than they already are (each of them are too long by at least a solid 30 seconds of tight gameplay). The fact that they utilize both screens for pure gameplay was a poor decision. The grappling hook mechanic is worthless, feels like they came up with the idea but had a hard time implementing it to anything remotely engaging. And where the likes of Contra Shattered Soldier had its fair share of retreating old grounds, at least those returning enemy designs looked fantastic being rendered in 3D and usually offered new methods of attack, mixing up the overall experience. Here, anything returning looks like shit, and just about everything new is lame and forgettable.
I'd like to properly analyze why I severely fell out of love with this game. All I know right now is every single revisit makes this game look worse in my eyes.
1988
The most impressive thing about The Ninja Warriors is its ultra-widescreen resolution, and the gigantic arcade cabinets that had to be built to house this game. That's really cool! Unfortunately, the novelty of that is completely lost when you merely emulate the game, leaving a very mundane--albeit ambitious--beat-em-up that doesn't feel that good to play and has weird difficulty spikes. It wouldn't be until the SNES reboot (and its perfect remake on Switch) where this series truly shines.
2012
A great overhead brawler with charming visuals, and arcadey gameplay! Hotline Miami is a gritty, visceral game with an interesting narrative. The mechanic of approaching each stage differently by choosing a mask is great for when you're learning the game. Of course, you'll be able to stick to just one as you get closer to mastering the game.
2009
I wasn't really into hack-n-slash games back when this game was new. In fact, I had a strong (and foolish) animosity for them because of a bad experience with the original Devil May Cry when I was like 11 (see my DMC1 review if you're curious). I wasn't even aware of the game Bayonetta, but during that time, I played and loved No More Heroes. However, I chalked it up to loving the brilliant characters and writing, along with the core combat being pretty simple.
No clean way to put it, I was on the internet . . . a lot, and I saw various drawn porn of Bayonetta back then and got the hots for the character. She was practically the ideal depiction of what got me going, so I wanted to learn more about her!
That was when I looked the game up, found it for cheap at a local store, and was blown away by how good it was! Punchy combat, intuitive controls, the rewarding flowy combos, the badass enemy designs, the jazzy music that has a nice blend of angelic and actiony, and of course Bayonetta herself being so funny and endearing as a character with attitude!
There's some missteps, such as a couple scenarios that feel obtusely designed to be frustrating, most-especially QTE scenarios that not only have very small windows, but kill you instantly and ruin your stage rank if you fail it. The story is a little basic too, IMO. If it wasn't for the characters being so charming, I would've considered it entirely hollow. Regardless, the good outweighs the bad in this game by a longshot.
So yeah, seeing a couple of porn doujins as a teenager lead me to properly falling in love with the hack-n-slash genre. I should probably be more embarrassed by that, but here we are. What's important is that it also lead me to properly playing and loving the original Devil May Cry!
No clean way to put it, I was on the internet . . . a lot, and I saw various drawn porn of Bayonetta back then and got the hots for the character. She was practically the ideal depiction of what got me going, so I wanted to learn more about her!
That was when I looked the game up, found it for cheap at a local store, and was blown away by how good it was! Punchy combat, intuitive controls, the rewarding flowy combos, the badass enemy designs, the jazzy music that has a nice blend of angelic and actiony, and of course Bayonetta herself being so funny and endearing as a character with attitude!
There's some missteps, such as a couple scenarios that feel obtusely designed to be frustrating, most-especially QTE scenarios that not only have very small windows, but kill you instantly and ruin your stage rank if you fail it. The story is a little basic too, IMO. If it wasn't for the characters being so charming, I would've considered it entirely hollow. Regardless, the good outweighs the bad in this game by a longshot.
So yeah, seeing a couple of porn doujins as a teenager lead me to properly falling in love with the hack-n-slash genre. I should probably be more embarrassed by that, but here we are. What's important is that it also lead me to properly playing and loving the original Devil May Cry!
1998
If there was any game in the 90s that made kids want to impulsively air guitar, it was F-Zero X! This intense racing game was something no other racer could even come close to being as awesome (until its own sequel years later).
I also adore that the staff involved opted for the game to have a smooth, stable 60 frames-per-second, which meant sacrificing most textures and graphical fidelity. They just knew how important a high framerate was not only for playability, but also to emphasize the SPEED of the game. And damn, was it fast!
I also adore the character designs that perfectly meld with the atmosphere the soundtrack ensues! I wouldn't be surprised if the artists involved were inspired by "Heavy Metal" magazine and/or its 1981 film! Literally everything about F-Zero X kicks so much ass! I just wish we somehow got the expansion kit here, I definitely would've spent hours on-end making custom stages!
Also, the Switch emulation is garbage. Don't play it on there.
I also adore that the staff involved opted for the game to have a smooth, stable 60 frames-per-second, which meant sacrificing most textures and graphical fidelity. They just knew how important a high framerate was not only for playability, but also to emphasize the SPEED of the game. And damn, was it fast!
I also adore the character designs that perfectly meld with the atmosphere the soundtrack ensues! I wouldn't be surprised if the artists involved were inspired by "Heavy Metal" magazine and/or its 1981 film! Literally everything about F-Zero X kicks so much ass! I just wish we somehow got the expansion kit here, I definitely would've spent hours on-end making custom stages!
Also, the Switch emulation is garbage. Don't play it on there.
You ever go see a movie you're excited for because it's from 'LEGENDARY DIRECTOR [x] AND GODLIKE WRITER(S) [y and/or z], and then you go see it with a friend who is less savvy on the subject, but wouldn't mind checking it out too? When the movie is over, you're sitting in the theater as the credits roll. Sullen . . . resentful . . . disappointed. Your friend is like "What's wrong?" You say "This movie." And they're like "Really? I thought it was okay!" And all you can retort with is "Yeah, it was 'okay'! That's the problem!" Shadows Of the Damned is that feeling wrapped up into a video game. Also your friend is easily amused by basic milquetoast action and dick jokes. I feel like that detail is important.
The game is a decent third-person shooter with some really nice atmosphere and fantastic enemy designs, however its story is mostly uninteresting as it's carried heavily by the banter between Garcia and Johnson: The main character and his talking gun. The writing has some good nuggets within--the storybooks you can come across deserve to be specifically shouted out--but it's very run-of-the-mill and uninspired. As for the gameplay, it's a watered-down Resident Evil 4 with only 3 different weapons to use, a severe step down from a game released 6 years before this. Enemy confrontations aren't too challenging, even on highest difficulty, and the bosses amount little to just shooting a spot that's glowing red.
Of course, anyone that saw an ounce of marketing from this game (of the 3 ounces EA provided) can't miss the names plastered on. Shinji Mikami, Suda51, and Akira Yamaoka. 3 very talented developers that provided excellence in their respective fields. How can a pot stewed between the creator of Resident Evil and the creator of killer7 come out so bland? Probably because EA didn't show you the rest of the chefs shoving their pounds of spam, powdered vanilla, or even their own body hairs into said pot. It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that EA severely meddled with the project for the near-5 years it took making this game, going as far as kicking Suda off director's chair and appointing someone themselves.
I could go into severe detail, but I already have in an analysis video. The skinny of it is that EA didn't trust Suda at all to sell the game through his own vision, and saw Mikami as this excuse to just try and hock their own Resident Evil 4. Suda nor Mikami wanted a third-person shooter. Hell, the original concept was a survival horror in a world of darkness where your torch is your only weapon! Suda has very complicated feelings regarding this game. Its production forever changed how he looked at the industry. And that's all extremely interesting . . . much more than the game itself. Shadows of the Damned will forever be this testament to how a multi-billion dollar company can easily kill creativity.
The game is a decent third-person shooter with some really nice atmosphere and fantastic enemy designs, however its story is mostly uninteresting as it's carried heavily by the banter between Garcia and Johnson: The main character and his talking gun. The writing has some good nuggets within--the storybooks you can come across deserve to be specifically shouted out--but it's very run-of-the-mill and uninspired. As for the gameplay, it's a watered-down Resident Evil 4 with only 3 different weapons to use, a severe step down from a game released 6 years before this. Enemy confrontations aren't too challenging, even on highest difficulty, and the bosses amount little to just shooting a spot that's glowing red.
Of course, anyone that saw an ounce of marketing from this game (of the 3 ounces EA provided) can't miss the names plastered on. Shinji Mikami, Suda51, and Akira Yamaoka. 3 very talented developers that provided excellence in their respective fields. How can a pot stewed between the creator of Resident Evil and the creator of killer7 come out so bland? Probably because EA didn't show you the rest of the chefs shoving their pounds of spam, powdered vanilla, or even their own body hairs into said pot. It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that EA severely meddled with the project for the near-5 years it took making this game, going as far as kicking Suda off director's chair and appointing someone themselves.
I could go into severe detail, but I already have in an analysis video. The skinny of it is that EA didn't trust Suda at all to sell the game through his own vision, and saw Mikami as this excuse to just try and hock their own Resident Evil 4. Suda nor Mikami wanted a third-person shooter. Hell, the original concept was a survival horror in a world of darkness where your torch is your only weapon! Suda has very complicated feelings regarding this game. Its production forever changed how he looked at the industry. And that's all extremely interesting . . . much more than the game itself. Shadows of the Damned will forever be this testament to how a multi-billion dollar company can easily kill creativity.
2001
An almost unbelievably strong and face-changing revolution for what is a considerably humble car combat series. Twisted Metal: Black attacked early PS2 owners with air-tight game design, rock-solid 60 fps performance, and gigantic levels full of nightmarish atmosphere glazed with oppressive orchestras that perfectly hammer down how horrible and bleak this world is.
The story itself lugs its share of the weight too! This is the Twisted Metal game that keeps the basis of the story intact, but dropped the goofy vibes of 1 and 2. You still got crazed racers with a monkey's paw-esque opportunity to change their lives, but no longer are they stories of vain assholes looking for fame or fortune, but downtrodden victims of mental destruction merely looking for peace from their life, or pure revenge.
This game scared the absolute shit out of me when I was 11, and I never forgot that. It's also tough-as-nails with its razor-sharp AI that go rabid as soon as you get near them, as well as the pits they threw you in throughout the campaign. The story is what shines the most for me, as the tales were enthralling and really made you connect (or completely fear) the character you would play as.
For those without a PS2 to play it, the PS4 port is a mostly fine experience, slight input lag aside.
The story itself lugs its share of the weight too! This is the Twisted Metal game that keeps the basis of the story intact, but dropped the goofy vibes of 1 and 2. You still got crazed racers with a monkey's paw-esque opportunity to change their lives, but no longer are they stories of vain assholes looking for fame or fortune, but downtrodden victims of mental destruction merely looking for peace from their life, or pure revenge.
This game scared the absolute shit out of me when I was 11, and I never forgot that. It's also tough-as-nails with its razor-sharp AI that go rabid as soon as you get near them, as well as the pits they threw you in throughout the campaign. The story is what shines the most for me, as the tales were enthralling and really made you connect (or completely fear) the character you would play as.
For those without a PS2 to play it, the PS4 port is a mostly fine experience, slight input lag aside.
The swan song to Cuphead was a big, chunky one for only $8. Shitty anime fighters charge more than that for a single character! Now ain't that a bitch? The entire 4th Inkwell Isle has its own series of unique surprises, secrets, and content that bleed over to the original game including new weapons, new abilities, and Chalice herself as a playable character with her own fundamentals.
The bosses in this new DLC are the highlight, of course, and don't disappoint for the most part. The final boss was especially a delight. My one complaint regarding the DLC bosses, they seem to rely a bit too much on RNG and making a mess of hitboxes on the screen. Much more than the original game's bosses, at least. It feels slightly less fair and fun to learn overall, I think.
Even so, this last course was indeed delicious with its peak artistry and catchy tunes all harking back to the era of classic cartoons and vaudeville nonsense. I look forward to whatever it is MDHR have planned next.
The bosses in this new DLC are the highlight, of course, and don't disappoint for the most part. The final boss was especially a delight. My one complaint regarding the DLC bosses, they seem to rely a bit too much on RNG and making a mess of hitboxes on the screen. Much more than the original game's bosses, at least. It feels slightly less fair and fun to learn overall, I think.
Even so, this last course was indeed delicious with its peak artistry and catchy tunes all harking back to the era of classic cartoons and vaudeville nonsense. I look forward to whatever it is MDHR have planned next.
1991
An ambitious platformer that gave Nintendo a run for its money back in the early 90s! Sonic the Hedgehog is an interesting 2D platformer that gives you the ability to go really fast, but what it really calls for is careful platforming. Not that there ever isn't a need for speed, as it can be awesome once you learn and understand the stage designs!
It's not the most graceful platformer, and its successor would end up blowing this game out of the water, but the visuals, music, and satisfaction that comes from clearing the stages make it a genuine classic!
It's not the most graceful platformer, and its successor would end up blowing this game out of the water, but the visuals, music, and satisfaction that comes from clearing the stages make it a genuine classic!
2019
An ape has escaped from captivity in some big building, and the employees' solution was shotguns, SMGs, flamethrowers, grenade launchers, AIR RAID BOMBS . . . humanity, what the fuck is your problem?
Anyway, music rocks, visuals are great, clearing stages feels good as hell, it's a primo example of a dope-ass indie game. I also like that the title is the end of each sequence. You get that APE OUT.
Anyway, music rocks, visuals are great, clearing stages feels good as hell, it's a primo example of a dope-ass indie game. I also like that the title is the end of each sequence. You get that APE OUT.
A tale of a lone man trying to solve a mysterious terror attack in a land of absolute paradise. Sumio Mondo is stuck in this perpetual timeloop, but inches ever so closer to answers as these days go by. Figure out what the heck is going on (and probably still not understand) in Flower, Sun, and Rain!
Directed and mainly written by Suda51, the narrative and how it's presented is extremely alluring, and just about all of the characters have this oddball charm and quirkiness to them, and in a way that doesn't feel out-of-place at all. If any game of Suda's is inspired by David Lynch's work, it's this one. I also can't help but adore the setting itself, I love how obsessed game devs were with shores and beaches in the early 2000s, it can't get more cozy than games like this! Much of the dialogue is as hilarious as it is unique, I adore all the characters involved.
The gameplay itself is extremely minimal, as it mainly revolves around solving "puzzles" which are all numeric, and the answers are laid in a digital guide you have. If it's not stated where the answer can be found, it's up to you to solve it through context clues.
The graphical fidelity is dwarfed through this DS demake, but it still presents itself very well, and the interpreters--thankfully--did not mess with the script too much, despite how much it harks back to Suda's previous game that was only released in Japan at the time.
I expect a proper remaster of the PS2 title soon, it's something Suda51 has been very vocal about for the past few years.
Directed and mainly written by Suda51, the narrative and how it's presented is extremely alluring, and just about all of the characters have this oddball charm and quirkiness to them, and in a way that doesn't feel out-of-place at all. If any game of Suda's is inspired by David Lynch's work, it's this one. I also can't help but adore the setting itself, I love how obsessed game devs were with shores and beaches in the early 2000s, it can't get more cozy than games like this! Much of the dialogue is as hilarious as it is unique, I adore all the characters involved.
The gameplay itself is extremely minimal, as it mainly revolves around solving "puzzles" which are all numeric, and the answers are laid in a digital guide you have. If it's not stated where the answer can be found, it's up to you to solve it through context clues.
The graphical fidelity is dwarfed through this DS demake, but it still presents itself very well, and the interpreters--thankfully--did not mess with the script too much, despite how much it harks back to Suda's previous game that was only released in Japan at the time.
I expect a proper remaster of the PS2 title soon, it's something Suda51 has been very vocal about for the past few years.
2012
A hack-n-slash game that emphasizes on the hacking, which I find appropriate, considering an oversized chainsaw is the primary weapon. Lollipop Chainsaw is a cheeky action game that's humorous and creative in its own fun ways, but leans a bit too heavily on references in lieu of clever comedy. Not that the game isn't funny at times. The gameplay itself is a bit monotonous as well, rarely will it ask you to be strategic with your ways of attacking, and their way of congratulating the player with multi-kills really start to feel like punishment when you've refined your methods to group-up and kill.
The game has plenty of highlights too, I adore the concept of the zombies not just being able to talk, but also talk shit. A lot of their weird little lines and cadence are a delight. The music is also pretty fantastic, specifically the non-licensed tracks. Akira Yamaoka did a fine job providing more of this whacky punk atmosphere, and Jimmy Urine's boss tracks stand out the most, as they should.
Even so, it's a repetitive game that doesn't do a lot asking for replays. The most interesting thing about this game, to me, is seeing it in the lens of sexism. I personally think this game is trying to say some curious things about sexist roles in fantasy. The fact that the roles between the main male and female characters have been reversed from its norm (Nick literally becoming an "object" that's mocked and ogled for his appearance) says plenty, and I like how Juliet isn't exactly a perfect character either, showing her flaws throughout the game.
In other words, Lollipop Chainsaw is a good example of bait-n-switch in the world of power fantasies, but I think the eye candy is a little too in-your-face that I don't blame people for not seeing the game in the same light as I do.
The game has plenty of highlights too, I adore the concept of the zombies not just being able to talk, but also talk shit. A lot of their weird little lines and cadence are a delight. The music is also pretty fantastic, specifically the non-licensed tracks. Akira Yamaoka did a fine job providing more of this whacky punk atmosphere, and Jimmy Urine's boss tracks stand out the most, as they should.
Even so, it's a repetitive game that doesn't do a lot asking for replays. The most interesting thing about this game, to me, is seeing it in the lens of sexism. I personally think this game is trying to say some curious things about sexist roles in fantasy. The fact that the roles between the main male and female characters have been reversed from its norm (Nick literally becoming an "object" that's mocked and ogled for his appearance) says plenty, and I like how Juliet isn't exactly a perfect character either, showing her flaws throughout the game.
In other words, Lollipop Chainsaw is a good example of bait-n-switch in the world of power fantasies, but I think the eye candy is a little too in-your-face that I don't blame people for not seeing the game in the same light as I do.
2001
One of the best third-person shooters ever made, even now. Max Payne showcases simple, easy-to-understand combat with creative ambition. The bullet-time mechanic is world-changing! All while keeping the action intense and fast-paced.
I also loved the gruff noir story of a man seeking revenge, only to dig up seedy, underground corruption of countrywide scale! All while not giving a shit, and cracking jokes along the way. It's undeniable that Max as a character is full of charm, even in the darkest scenarios!
The PC version is the way to go, just make sure to look up the fixes to get it to run swimmingly!
I also loved the gruff noir story of a man seeking revenge, only to dig up seedy, underground corruption of countrywide scale! All while not giving a shit, and cracking jokes along the way. It's undeniable that Max as a character is full of charm, even in the darkest scenarios!
The PC version is the way to go, just make sure to look up the fixes to get it to run swimmingly!