27 reviews liked by Gligar


why did dk and diddy start beating the fuck out of each other during the credits why are they evil in nature

fun in short bursts
very repetitive, some frustrating instakill levels, hell to 100%, frustrating physics, takes too long to get back into the game with so much filler dialogue

I've been playing "Kind Words" for over a year now. It's almost a weekly ritual of sitting down and replying to requests while reading your own mail. This whole concept is such a lovely engine for positivity and helping real life individuals. Video games have always been a positive influence in my life. So seeing developers try to use the medium to better the real world does the heart some good. The community is lively and caring too. I even love collecting the stamps which keeps you working toward a tangible goal. It never draws you away from the main point though, which is helping people and allowing others to help you.

game SUCKS i go to BED

In typical Game Freak fashion, this is technology from a decade ago being paraded around like it's cool when it's Pokemon. Accelerometers tracking your movement in the night certainly works as a means of tracking sleep, but integration with wrist trackers, smartwatches, and smart rings (and AI beds? Whatever that even means?) have allowed a greater degree of fidelity for users. Sleep as Android has been doing a damn good job of telling me I have horrible sleep hygiene for a decade, only improving with time. It has recommended ways of improving my sleep, alarms that go off only when I'm in a light sleep cycle so I'm less groggy, 'captchas' were I can only turn off my increasingly loud alarm with math, or tapping an NFC point, or shaking my phone like it owes me money. Not only am I firmly entrenched in my current sleep tracker, it has always been frictionless. I tap a widget, I put my phone beside me, I sleep.

Pokemon Sleep shows a fundamental misunderstanding of why sleep trackers are used, how they are presently used, where the market lies, and how the gamification of life actually works. This isn't Habitica or Fabulous trying to improve your life through things you don't already do. I have no choice in whether or not I sleep. The appeal of a sleep tracker is that it is set and forget, a companion for something I have to and will do anyways, so it better not be an annoying partner. If Pokemon Sleep wants the user to be concerned about the quality of their sleep, shouldn't it be able to sync up with existing hardware that can supplement its readings? If sleep is meant to be restorative, why is that rejuvenation immediately undone by tutorialisation and currencies and systems and a goddamn battle pass when I wake up? Why am I chastised when I wake that I only got 54/100 sleep points because I woke in the night and can only get 5-6 hours of sleep a night if I'm lucky? Why is the assumption that 8.5 hours of sleep is a perfect ideal for everyone to aim for? Why is there no accommodation for the peculiarities of the human sleep experience, for the insomniac, the narcoleptic, the medicated? The very least it could do is offer a sleep quiz, or a calibration period. The very least it could do is not inundate me with things I have to learn and keep in mind. The very least it could do is not make my phone radiate enough heat that my wrist tracker thinks something is wrong. The very least it could do is not eat 80%(!!!) of my battery at night so I panic when I wake up. And for the chronically eepy like me, the bare minimum amount of effort could be put towards not having a minutes-long load-screen before I can track my sleep. Last night I passed out waiting for it to complete. Y'know what it took for my wrist tracker to document my sleep last night? Nothing.

Feels like they took the "game" part too far. Why's there lengthy tutorials of generic mobile game mechanics in a fucking sleep tracker? At least a portion of real casual consumers wouldn't use this at all based on that alone, but as a sleep tracker it also doesn't have a dynamic alarm clock or various soundscapes to help you sleep like other apps do. They announced this was coming like 4 years ago, how was this what they launched with? Boggles the mind quite frankly.

But gamefying various real life tasks keeps me alive so, they got me.

this is the most sterilized animal crossing entry to date, complete with a half-baked crafting system, less music, and less character dialogue. feels like it lost the plot, if that makes sense, from the original vision of the games. it's "okay". but just play literally any other AC game.

autism creature of all time. this game looks impressive but then you play it and it's kaizo hell. pretty short and not really worth the money unless you're really into this sort of thing

depressing remnant of the first few weeks of 2020 when everyone thought bernie sanders would be the next president

its not a great game and i'd struggle to really recommend it to anyone, especially at $3. for a game i received as part of the itch.io racial justice bundle along with a bazillion others, i'm not really complaining. kept me entertained for 40 minutes or so, and its enjoyable for some funny writing that made me laugh more than a few times and pretty nice presentation with cute art.

I have nothing to say about this game that hasn't already been said (performance is bad, still one of the funnest Pokemon games in years, looks like ass, fun story, Arven rules, etc) so instead I'll complain about the shiny hunting. Why did they remove the overworld sparkles on wild spawns AND the shiny noise. We had this figured out in Let's Go and Legends Arceus. Instead I'm riding on my giant lizard while consumed by anxiety because oh geez that random tadpole or tiny bird might be a shiny.

"I don't know what to do about the frame rate shit," I say, staring at the laptop screen on my picnic table. "It's so boring to talk about, and everyone's aware of them. They're not even that big of a deal. BUT they're significant enough that it feels wrong to act like it's not a thing at all."

"Tinkaton," Tinkaton responds sympathetically before golf-swinging a boulder into a passing Corviknight, snapping it's neck and killing it instantly. Tonight, the team will dine well