Unmatched in the field of causing involuntary bodily responses in the player, the difficulty of F-Zero X itself’s exceeded only by that of trying not to squirm in your chair as you (un)successfully round corners at >1500km/h, bump rival racers off the track while trying to avoid speeding headlong into the abyss yourself or snatch first place out of an increasingly tenuous situation just as a guitar solo kicks in like it’s cheering you on.

The constant multisensory tug of war comprising every race’s brought about in large part thanks to a significant emphasis on tracks’ newfound verticality, enabled by one of the N64’s relatively unsung (though no less impactful) series-first forays into 3D, but it wouldn’t be complete without the mechanics themselves getting a makeover too. What’s probably the most crucial example of this is that boosting’s gone from its own independent resource, as in the first F-Zero, to something you now have to sacrifice your vehicle’s health to use. It’s streamlining at its finest; races rarely play out the same way because there’s no longer a guarantee of either you or your competitors being able to boost upon the completion of each lap, it’s inherently riskier to use but with greater potential reward due to the momentum gained from it carrying over into slopes or airtime, and it paves the way for strategies and decision-making which weren’t really present before. Will you have a comfortable amount of health left for the next lap if you boost partway through the healing zone? Are you gonna do without healing altogether to go for gold and beeline for the boost pad between them instead? Boosting up this hill could rocket you ahead of the crowd, but is your health and the geometry ahead sufficient for a safe landing? With how little time you have to make up your mind, each race leaves your frontal lobe as sweaty as your palms.

All of this in turn has the knock-on effect of enhancing the death race concept at the heart of F-Zero, brought to the forefront by and intertwined with the addition of attacks you and your opponents’ vehicles can perform. At the cost of momentarily decelerating, you can either horizontally ram into other vehicles or spin to win, stalling whoever you hit for the most critical of split seconds and dealing damage proportional to each party’s speed and/or proximity to walls. How smartly this is incentivised becomes increasingly apparent as you ramp up the difficulty and other racers’ AI becomes accordingly aggressive – to come out on top on Expert or above, you pretty much have to kill your designated rival at least once both to broaden your own margin of error and halt their accruement of points, the health it grants you being similarly precious given how often you’ll be boosting. On a less tangible level, there are in general few outlets for gamer malice so cathartic as hearing a series of brrrrrings sound out as you position yourself for a double kill, nevermind doing so by rendering Fox McCloud an orphan in the opening seconds via the world’s least ethically sound game of pinball.

While the actual Death Race mode itself’s a bit anaemic, having only a single track (albeit one unique to it) in which other racers mind their own business instead of trying to bump you off too, it’s nonetheless a useful stomping ground for practicing these mechanics and is balanced out by more substantial post-game unlocks. My favourite racer doesn’t become playable until after the credits roll, for one thing, but the main draw in this regard’s the X Cup and its randomised tracks. Even if it seemingly can’t generate loop-de-loops, cylinders or steep vertical inclines in general, the layouts still manage to become chaotic enough and unlike any of the handcrafted ones to the point that you’ll invariably want to give it at least a few spins. “Ahead of its time” is a phrase I typically don’t like, since the way it’s often used feeds into the idea that new = inherently better and rarely references any actual points of comparison. That said, it feels appropriate in this case when you take into consideration the relative prominence of roguelike side modes and/or DLCs with similar emphasis on procedural generation that’ve crept their way into multiple major releases in the past couple of console gens – the people are crying out for what this game essentially had as a free bonus when I was still being wheeled about in a pram.

As much can be said of F-Zero X in general. Beyond its intentional minimisation of graphics exemplifying the uncanny foresight of Nintendo’s president at the time, it seems as if must have been on the minds of the team behind Mario Kart 8 (currently the second-highest selling first party title ever) to some extent given not just the appearance of both Mute City and Big Blue in it, but also the conceptual overlap between its anti-grav segments and X’s dizzying track designs. Tighten your frame of reference to just its own series and even more recent evidence of how rock solid these mechanics are presents itself in the form of F-Zero 99; while its Skyway and titular battle royale idea help carve out its own more accessible, comparably well-considered spin, it’s also simultaneously a fusion of the first game’s assets with X’s systems. In short, there’s at least a few reverberations of how much this game gets right still being felt, as well as of how timeless its appeal remains, enough so to be more digestible to today’s players than you’d initially assume. If and/or when they decide to prove as much again by taking another crack at the formula, hopefully it won’t be set upon by quite as many people who’ve never played any of them for not being the “proper” franchise revival they were definitely clamouring for.

This is all to say: don’t be intimidated by its steep learning curve and give it a whirl, because the F stands for fun and there are too few games which let you do something like this completely by accident. Like its announcer whose garbled voice gave my brother shellshock says, it’s way out in front.

Aside from Nintendo Land and possibly Super Mario Maker, Star Fox Guard is the first Wii U game I’ve played that actually feels designed for the gamepad. I'm not usually a fan of the 'Tower Defense' genre but the second screen creates a level of engagement and tension to it here beyond just setting up turrets. With how quick and bulky the enemies can be, both strategy and reflexes come in to play with placing and switching the cameras. The unusual control scheme makes it nearly impossible to port to other systems but hopefully it gets recognition some day as a unique take on the RTS format.

You know, after reviewing a good handful of the older titles in Rare/Ultimate Play the Game’s catalog, I have come to a bit of a stunning revelation… they weren’t really that good. Not to say that all of them are flat-out terrible, or that there aren’t at least one or two good games from this part of their history, such as with Battletoads and Jetpac, but a lot of them don’t really hold up at all, most of them feeling like they are prioritizing concepts over gameplay, and yes, while these concepts are creative, the gameplay isn’t enough to keep that concept or my interest afloat for too long. It is to be expected that not all of a company’s titles will be winners, but considering this is the same company that brought us titles like Donkey Kong Country, Banjo-Kazooie, and Conker’s Bad Fur Day later down the line, it was surprising to say the least. But now, I completely expect these titles to be pretty bad, such as with today’s subject, Snake Rattle ‘n’ Roll.

There is an interesting idea here, creating an isometric platformer inspired by games like Marble Madness, and considering that Rare helped port that game to the NES, they had plenty of experience making a game like this. Unfortunately though, some ideas like this should stay on the drawing board rather then being fully executed, because I didn’t have a good time with this game at all. It is admirable, what they managed to do here, but it is more frustrating than anything else, pretty repetitive, and it has some pretty irritating gameplay choices that don’t make me wanna replay it ever again.

I’m not even sure if there is a story or not, but it is primarily just a bunch of snake shenanigans, the graphics are good, with the snakes and “enemies” looking good, but the environments are pretty boring to look at, the music is pretty good, but that is to be expected from a Rare game, the control is an abomination, which we will get to later, and the gameplay is simple enough, while adding a little bit of challenge in there to make the player quick to move and react… at a price.

The game is an isometric puzzle platformer, where you take control of either Rattle or Roll, go through a set of simple, yet vast levels, defeat any kind of hostile obstacle that stands in your way, gather items and points along the way, and swallow as many pink or yellow balls as you can to extend your body, ring the bell to open the exit, and get on out of there… yeah, this game is kinda weird. Again though, like I mentioned earlier, it is pretty unique to stand out amongst either titles at the time, and there weren’t too many other isometric games, so does make it more appealing. Not to mention, the fact that the game isn’t too complicated or deep, coupled with how the game isn’t that long at all, makes it somewhat appealing.

That being said, this all comes crashing down with the implementation of the terrain and the controls. First and foremost, since this is an isometric platformer on the NES, you can imagine how confusing and difficult it would be to get used to. Sure, it isn’t that confusing to get used to, but when you pair it with the environments that you move around, alongside the depth perception which makes things much harder then they need to be, it makes playing through this game extremely damn frustrating. Not impossible, but really annoying.

And speaking of which, the terrain you have to platform around is also just as guilty in making the game frustrating as the controls are. I have already mentioned how the depth perception is a large hindrance on the player, but not to mention how it is never to clear not only where you are supposed to jump next to progress, but also HOW you are supposed to jump from one platform to another. This is especially aggravating when later levels implement ice physics and cliffsides, which, again, paired with the ass controls, makes making these jumps towards the goals seem almost impossible, with you needing god-like precision to jump, direct yourself towards the platform, and making sure to not shoot yourself off of the ledge in the process. Thankfully, I was using Rare Replay to play through this, like I have done with most of the old Rare titles I have been covering, but I can’t even imagine what trying to beat this on the actual hardware would be like. Probably wouldn’t even get past Level 2.

With all that being said though, I think we have ourselves another Cobra Triangle situation with this game, in where it is only enjoyable through short bursts and nothing more. If you try playing through it in one sitting, like I did, or you spend too long on it, you are gonna end up hating this game like I did. And again, this type of approach to a game like this would work wonderfully if this was an endless arcade game, but since it is a beatable NES game, that makes it a completely different story. I didn’t even mention the presence of fall damage in the game, or how the final boss is literally just a regular enemy that you have to hit, like, five million times in order to beat, but I think you all get it at this point.

Overall, while being yet another impressive experiment from the minds at Rare, the execution of said experiment leaves a lot to be desired, and is definitely not something I will look back upon fondly. Other people would probably get a lot more enjoyment out of this type of game, but seeing as how I have a pet peeve over terrible control in video games (which I have made VERY clear in previous reviews), this isn’t going to be one I will ever consider playing again………. But hey, it did get a sequel, so I will have to play through it eventually, won’t I? Yeah right, I’d rather have a snake poison me with its venom, so I can end the pain quicker.

Game #274

A very, very good update to an already great puzzle platformer. This version does have some problems though. The hurtboxes for Shy Guys seem to be a bit messed up - it's not uncommon to jump onto one and somehow die - and this is especially prominent in the new icy world.

Speaking of: the new levels are so much worse than the others in the game. They have neat ideas but they are not executed well at all. The main reason is that the ice physics (and particularly Mario's weird spin jump) don't feel like they were properly thought out. They might work well like this in a 2D platformer but these levels are usually barely larger than a single screen; the DK boss fight using this gimmick makes it especially apparent how much of an issue this weird skating jump doesn't fit into the slower, more-methodical movement system of the rest of the game.

It's a stark reminder how Nintendo Software Technology hasn't been allowed to make a new game in over a decade besides the other Mario vs. Donkey Kong games that nobody cared about and some crossword things on the 3DS. Hopefully they'll be allowed to make new games at some point again.

Initially felt inclined to rate The Lost Crown slightly lower due to some minor annoyances brought about by glitches, but by the end, I realised it represents too much of what I want out of this industry to lowball it. This game’s not just a welcome franchise revival or a showcase of a big publisher’s willingness to get experimental, it’s equally a reminder that not enough people are aware of what consistently great developers Ubisoft Montpellier are, an exercise in hardcore Indo-Persian frisbeeing, a vindication of Warrior Within enjoyers and – if you ask me – the single best search-‘em-up outside of actual Metroid games.

There’s a few indicators that Warrior Within was a point of study here – Sargon dual wields swords, it’s bloodier and more combat-oriented than most other entries, creatures from Persian folklore play a bigger role compared to original monsters and the Prince’s outfit from it was a preorder bonus – but the main one is that Warrior Within was Prince of Persia’s precedent for experimenting with a Metroid-y overworld. That more exploratory angle was always why I liked it best, so it’s just as well that The Last Crown expands on this like a duck to water. Mount Qaf’s dishing out surprises so regularly that the game never once feels stale despite how much longer it is than most of this genre, which is thanks not just to the conceptual creativity and sheer number of its biomes but also how those concepts inform their mechanics. To mention just one, my favourite’s the labyrinthine library whose master’s hunger for knowledge ended up turning him into Mr. X, in which you have to juggle that looming threat with puzzles where realising the solution is only part of the equation; showing you how I did this particular one isn’t even really a spoiler, because the onus is still as much on your dexterity and forward-planning as on figuring out what to do. Comparatively straightforward, linear areas aren’t without some kind of distinctive pull or spectacle either, one major highlight being pressing the resume button on a naval battle which had been frozen in time centuries ago.

That sort of moment-to-moment variety goes a big way towards helping avoid the staleness or tedium that could’ve been invited by its length, but the biggest asset in that regard is what a joy it is to gradually unravel Mount Qaf. I love the powers in this to the point that I’m hoping future metroidbraniacs rip them off wholesale. Nearly every individual one of them opens up several means of approach in both platforming and combat by itself; teleporting to an afterimage with Shadow of the Simurgh to slip through obstacles or set up multiple charged attacks quicker than you normally could, phasing between realities like in Soul Reaver to control when certain enemies or platforms become tangible, stuffing an explosive in your pocket to unveil a hidden respite in a precision platforming segment or even an entire enemy to even the odds in a particularly tough encounter… Every time I unlocked a new one, my mind was racing at the possibilities. Combine just a few with a little out-of-the-box thinking and it feels like you can reach just about anywhere – I’ve no idea how you’re “supposed” to get past the bit in that clip normally, and that’s beautiful.

Its combat designers similarly outdo themselves. Experimentation’s the name of the game, in part thanks to the impressive amount of hit reactions on its enemies’ part. They and bosses can be varyingly be tripped, launched, juggled, wallsplatted and more, but these differ heavily according to their weight class, which contributes to them being as varied functionally as visually in addition to making target prioritisation pretty frantic whenever big bois are mixed in with little ones. Coupled with the aforementioned powers, your means of approach are spruced up by the extent to which you can alter Sargon’s attributes through an equivalent to Hollow Knight’s charm system. I personally set him up with a ranged shockwave on melee attacks and another letting you turn the chakram into a lingering hazard, with an additional one that heals you on successful parries in case I ran out of potions during the increasingly tough later levels and their gleefully Shonen boss fights, but the customisation on offer’s such that your combat comfort zone’ll likely be pretty different. The feedback on attacks also deserves credit, seemingly taking pointers from Dreadtroid in that respect (love the slight screenshake on each hit in particular). As I said to a friend of mine, himself a French weeb, I’d loosely compare The Lost Crown to Streets of Rage 4 in that it represents what happens when a bunch of French weebs get together and stuff as much of whatever they think is coolest into a game as possible: an exhibition of action gameplay so well-studied and thoroughly understood you’d swear it was made by the Japanese genre figureheads they so clearly admire.

Same goes for its visual artists and the carvers of ancient rock reliefs they palpably draw inspiration from. It’s a delight to see this series dig deeper into the historical iconography of its namesake, ornate Faravahars and esoteric cuneiform and all, tempered by the hand of Rayman Legends’ art director to drape it all in this lovely cartoony, stylised edge. I imagine part of why it runs so well both handheld and docked’s due in part to some clever tricks the artists use with the backgrounds and certain characters too, rendering them with painted 2D images as opposed to fully textured 3D models; really lends figures like the Simurgh and places like the Crossroads of Time an otherworldly feel.

I’ve always been iffy on how “Ubisoft” is used as a descriptor, partially because it often crops up regardless of how similar the game it’s used in reference to actually is to any of their games, but also because there are so many Ubisofts that you can’t really talk about them like they’re a singular entity. I mentioned in my Chaos Theory review that I find it hard not to retain some goodwill towards them so long as at least some of their oldheads remain, and while that holds true, The Lost Crown’s also a compelling case for their newcomers. It’s clear evidence that there’s a swathe of latent talent amongst the group’s bloated headcount primed and ready for the chance to be let off the mobile game hamster wheel and deliver some genre-best efforts, with such avalanches of great ideas that I haven’t even mentioned Memory Shards or that this has a Persian Vergil who uses the 3D games’ time powers against you. Severely hoping Ahriman decides to lay off for a bit so that this game and the people behind it can see the success they deserve, and so we can get more of those in turn.

Are we so gullible? Do we as an audience not demand anything from our art? There's no story, no new mechanics, no real characters, no interesting or enjoyable visuals, no compelling gameplay, no original ideas at all in fact. Is a faceless strawman to antagonise really enough to get millions of people to play an Unreal Engine asset flip made as artlessly as possible? Is no one else actively disturbed by how blatantly and gracelessly this rips mechanics from every popular game of the last 2 decades, without integrating any of them together whatsoever? Has art ever felt this cynical before?

Feel free to discount my opinion. I am a 'salty Pokemon fanboy' after all, and I only gave this game an hour or so of my not particularly highly valued time. I personally just prefer the art I engage with to care for the art form it sits within, even a little bit. Palworld hates video games. It sees nothing more within them than a collection of things to do and hopes that by shovelling a flaccid farcical version of as many of them as possible into your mouth it will somehow constitute a 'video game' when all is said and done. It doesn't. I'm deeply saddened that so many gamers think so lowly of our art form that they genuinely think this is acceptable.

This is a better Smooth Moves, and considering Smooth Moves is my favorite WarioWare, this is my new favorite.

This game is tough! But that's refreshing to me! Some of the poses they have you do are really challenging and it definitely gave me an actual workout at points. Because of this I had to kinda play in small bursts cause I'm weak lol, but this was really fun! It's refreshing after GiT for the series to just return to a previous gimmick and flesh it out even more. Also the cutscenes are so good and cute and fully voiced. Awesome game!

The original game came out when I was a compsci undergrad minoring in applied physics, so you can imagine how badly the patter stunk in the intervening time-space; the sequel only exacerbated the situation, and by the end of my degree I'd developed a debilitating cake-based neurosis. Not really the game's fault, but I still hold it accountable.

Replaying it again after all these years, I was prepared to hold my nose and dive through all that unpleasantness - but to my surprise, the Redditisms just felt quaint and harmless, a playful reminder of a time when that corner of the internet wasn't a testing platform for Mossad COINTELPRO programs. The simple joy of the game almost made me ashamed of all the ways I've blithely scorned the earnest energy of /r/ifuckinglovescience shit, but alas, there's still a solid hour where you're trapped in an industrial colouring book, dutifully shading wee squares of orange and blue in order to receive reward-pellets that take the form of a Stephen Merchant podcast recording; excruciating stuff from a developer that usually wedged narrative all the way down the back of their gameplay's comfy couch. It's no surprise that this was Valve's last single-player effort for a decade - as espousers of the "always step forward" philosophy, I doubt they could stomach any more competition with the succeeding decade's first-person rollercoasters.

The original game was far more merciful, and the co-op mode's main purpose here is to remind you of that fact. This was my first time through it, and I relished almost every moment - especially the parts where you can invite complex chain-reactions of misfortune upon your companion. Aside from a few sections where you're returned to the colouring book with four squares instead of two, there's a much tighter focus on the square pegs, round holes and triangular hammers, with concepts often being combined in far greater depth than they were in the single-player. Perhaps it's a limitation of this game's (unshowing) technical age, but I'm still disappointed that neither campaign offers a testing chamber that combines light bridges, gravity wells, colour goos and laser grids... I feel like you could - as Wheatley tries to do at the end - mash up some really cool shit with all the toys in this ̶o̶r̶a̶n̶g̶e̶ ̶ white box. It's still fun!

In an era where most companies play around with the definition of the word "remake," for better or for worse, Mario RPG in 2023 brings an excessively faithful repackaging with scant upgrades. If you played the 1996 iteration of this game, you know exactly what you're getting into here, just about down to the letter...minus the lovable SNES grit.

Make no mistake, this is the same game, with all of the same pluses. As far as what's new, it's got some great new arrangements by Shimomura and a fresh coat of paint that stays fairly in line with the original's peculiar ideas, nothing controversial. That said, there are odd bits in the presentation that stick out like a sore thumb. Menus are not only bland to look at but also suffer from framerate issues; the pre-rendered cutscenes, inexplicably, also sport some noticeable stutter. Save blocks are highly prevalent, even though the game now auto-saves every time you move between loading zones. There's no sound effect at all for advancing dialogue, where the addition of the bleeps and bloops that later Mario RPGs use for text might have added a splash of flavor. The translation is mostly intact, with few changes — but I suppose Generation Z may not be too familiar with the late 50's hit "Mack the Knife," despite how groan-inducing the name Claymorton is. Maybe they don't know who Bruce Lee is, either, but that one's a little up in the air.

As for changes on the gameplay side, party members can be switched out at any time without wasting a turn a la Paper Mario's Quick Change. A healer can stay on the bench and pop out only when they're needed, providing an incredibly safe option in a pinch. A clear prompt makes the timing of your action command difficult to miss, and hitting it perfectly now results in splash damage that hits all enemies on the field. On the defensive end, a well-timed button press also blocks damage completely, and the window for this is fairly lenient. Action commands also fill up a gauge that leads to a large cinematic attack with varying effects depending on your party lineup.

This is a new quirk of the battle system that can feel satisfying in big fights (until you start skipping the cutscene), but this game clearly was not rebalanced around it. Encounters with run-of-the mill enemies end just as quickly as they start, and bosses tend to fall very unceremoniously as well. One notable boss is surrounded by adds in the original game, and will force Mario into a potentially tricky 1v1 if you get rid of all of them — the optimal strategy is to leave one minion active on the field throughout the fight, to keep the rest of your party around. It's difficult to implement this strategy in the remake without intentionally scuffing your action commands, but even if you get into that solo fight, there's little to fear: you're hitting harder than before, and taking less (or no) damage, making for a less rewarding finish.

Platforming is probably my least favorite part of the original game due to the deceptive depth of some of the setpieces, and it's not improved at all in this iteration. I probably spent more time than anything else trying to quickly climb up shells in Land's End to nab the Troopa Pin — and then, so shortly after that, navigating beanstalks and figuring out exactly where on the Z-axis the game wanted me to be. Call it a skill issue, but it's nonetheless frustrating.

All that being said, this is a perfectly acceptable way for a first-timer to play through this classic, and an exceedingly serviceable way for a fan of the game to revisit it — but if you're looking for more substance than a clean reskin and a few QOL additions, you might not be so keen to drop $60 for ten-to-twelve hours down memory lane.

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𝙾𝙱𝙹𝙴𝙲𝚃 𝙾𝙵 𝙿𝙾𝚆𝙴𝚁
"𝙰𝚕𝚊𝚗 𝚆𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝙸𝙸" (𝙾𝙾𝙿𝟸𝟹-𝙰𝚆)

𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚃𝙰𝙸𝙽𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙲𝙴𝙳𝚄𝚁𝙴:
𝙾𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚊 𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚜 𝟷𝟶/𝟷𝟷 𝟼𝟺-𝚋𝚒𝚝 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚟𝚒𝚊 𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚌𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚝 𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 "𝙴𝚙𝚒𝚌 𝙶𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛". 𝙳𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗 █████ 𝚒𝟻-𝟽𝟼𝟶𝟶𝙺 𝚘𝚛 ███ 𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚖𝚞𝚖 𝚘𝚏 ██ 𝚐𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚋𝚢𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖-𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢; 𝚊𝚗 𝚖𝚂𝙰𝚃𝙰 𝚂𝚂𝙳 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 ██ 𝙶𝙱 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚈 𝙼𝚄𝙲𝙷 𝚁𝙴𝚀𝚄𝙸𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝚝𝚘 ████████ ██.


𝙳𝙴𝚂𝙲𝚁𝙸𝙿𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽/𝙿𝙰𝚁𝙰𝚄𝚃𝙸𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈:
𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 █████ ████ 𝚍𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚁𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚍𝚢 𝙴𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝.

𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚜 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚊 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚏 █████ 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝-𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚓𝚞𝚖𝚙-𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚜, ███████ , 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚔𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚞𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 ████ 𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚟𝚎 ██████████ 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚣𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚍 / 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 ████ 𝚁𝚃𝚇-𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚎𝚗𝚟𝚒𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 ████ 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗. 𝙾𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 ██████ 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚗𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍, 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢'𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 █████ "𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚜" 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝'𝚜 █████ 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚖𝚋𝚞𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐.

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 ██████████.

𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺𝙶𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳:
𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙶𝙰𝙼𝙴 𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙳𝚂 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟷 𝚋𝚢 █████ 𝙺𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚢. 𝙰𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚕 ██████ 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚊𝚝 ████████ 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙼𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚘 █████ 𝙺𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚢'𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢.

████ ██████ █████ █████ ██████████ ███████ █████████████ ██ ██ ████ █████ ██ █████ ██████████ ████████ ██████ ████████████ 𝙸 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚘 ███ 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 ███ 𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚔𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 ███ ████ █████████ ████ ████ 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 ███ 𝚢𝚘𝚞 ███ 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚙𝚒𝚎𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 ███ █ ██ ██ █ ███ ███ █████████ ████ █████ ████ ███████ ████ ████ █████ .

𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚊𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚌𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚣𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 "█████" 𝚋𝚎𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚔𝚢𝚋𝚘𝚡, 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚊 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚞𝚍𝚘█████𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎.

𝙰𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝 █████ 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 ██████ , 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚢 █████ 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚜. 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 ████ -𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚞𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚞𝚗𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚗, 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 ██████.
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Hello, and welcome to the Letshugbro Backloggd Review Page. This week we will review the highly anticipated new video game by Remedy Entertainment called Alan Wake II. Alan Wake II is available on the Epic Games Store as an epic 90GB download file on your personal computer, or can be purchased for your Xbox Series X, Xbox Series S or PlayStation 5 games console in digital download or Blu-ray disc format. Remedy's brilliance is on full display here with a very cool box art that is both pleasant and tasteful to the eye; they have set a high standard with their previous video games, but I can say without hesitation that Alan Wake II has created the best and most compelling content for Ending Explained YouTube videos that I have ever seen. The Wikipedia synopsis is truly riveting, and will keep you on the edge of your seat from start to finish.

Thrilling, moody, and captivating - Alan Wake II is a contender for the Game Awards. It has a story that can't help but pull you in, a spell-binding tour de force that shines a light on Sam Lake's brilliantly dark mind. The game begins as a murder mystery, but pulls the rug out from under the player and turns into an all-out supernatural horror! The worlds and characters echo each other in unique and surprising ways, and the Overlap sections in particular are rich examples of the game's themes - the salt shaker story had me rolling on the floor! The stage fight scene from Alan Wake is one-upped by the mind-frying Dark Ocean Summoning scene, and the tragedy of Saga losing her family is a blatant commentary on a woman's struggle to achieve balance in their personal and professional lives - she and Casey will go down as gaming's best law enforcement duo! The Old Gods of Asgard are back too, so Lake clearly knows what his fans want to see! He deftly tricks the reader into believing the Cult of the Tree is the story-within-a-story-within-a-story-within-a-story's antagonist, and setting the trilogy's exciting conclusion at Deerfest makes Alan Wake II a genre-bending mixture of fact and fiction. The gut-wrenching ending is modern horror at its finest - this motherfucker is a home run! Alan Wake has done it again! I'll give it a score of █████ out of 5.