SNK were really on some shit when they programmed this AI.

New candidate for the worst game I've ever played in my life, top five at the very least. This shit makes X5 look like X1.

There are a lot of good ideas here that would ultimately be fleshed out in the sequels, but this game is just dumb as fuck. I really have no way to elaborate on that, it's just dumb. Just look at it. It's dumb.

Didn't change my life or anything, but it's definitely better than the last like twelve New Super Mario Bros. games.

The Reign in Blood of Yakuza games: starts off great, hits you with a whole bunch of filler, then ends with a bang, and people call it peak because those two bookends are so good they forget everything in between was lame. Basically what I'm saying is Slayer sucks, listen to Razor.

If BioShock 1 and 2 were Baby's First System Shock, then this is Fetus's First BioShock.

I CAN SING A SONG FOR YOU AND ME
I CAN MAKE A SONG FOR ALL WHO FEEL LOVE

2006

I had put off playing this for the longest time because I figured it was just another generic shooter, but it's anything but. Unique level design and mechanics, cool weapons, fantastic art design that holds up even now, and a gripping story with believable writing and characters. It took almost no time at all to become one of my favorite shooters, and the fate its sequel suffered might be the biggest tragedy in video game history since the crash of 1983. I know I sound like a broken record but I don't care, I'll break and break and break until I'm microscopic particles of decomposed vinyl: Fuck Bethesda.

Fallout came out over a year earlier and does almost everything better, the main exception being how companions are handled. While I do find this game's combat more fluid than Fallout's, the encounter design is, more often than not, fucking abominable and ends up making the combat as a whole feel worse as a result. This would be a friendship ruiner if it were an actual D&D campaign, maybe even a cause for justifiable homicide. I'll give it props for its cultural impact and for cementing BioWare's place in video games, but that's about it.

The design document must have been just one line:
"Golden Axe but good."

I've tried to type up like six different blurbs about this game but none of them accurately capture how incredulous I am at the fact that people unironically think this is good. There is so much fundamentally wrong here on so many different fronts, and if this is the approach people really want the series to take, I guess it's time for me to hang up the hat as a Sonic fanboy.

"Mom, can we get Castlevania?"
"We have Castlevania at home."
Castlevania at home

Somewhat of a bittersweet replay: the story and presentation are as phenomenal as they were the first time around, but the gameplay definitely has some issues like simple combat with sometimes odd collision detection, plus some occasionally frustrating level design. I still think it's an excellent game all things considered; I likely wouldn't have written a goddamn song about it if it hadn't impacted me in some way.

Bro what the hell is going on with this series

This game has really clear production value with how great it looks and the film's cast delivering excellent performances. Unfortunately, outside of that it's kinda just...there. The gameplay is an adequate mix of platformers, brawlers and stealth games (namely Splinter Cell) of the time with plenty of cool, proto-Arkham ideas, but they're never really utilized in any interesting ways. The level design is very linear, almost formulaic after a certain point, but never offensive. The combat is pretty loose, with a camera that's too zoomed in that makes fighting multiple enemies really difficult. You don't have any real combos and your attacks get blocked all the fucking time, and the only way to break an enemy's defense is a context sensitive action that takes a little too long to charge up (if it even decides to allow you to do it) and can easily get canceled by another enemy. Despite all that, I never found myself that frustrated with it. Then again, I never really felt many emotions playing the game in general. Like I said, it's just kinda there.