Inverse
1986
Why are there two Ice Beams? Why are Kraid and Ridley such nonthreats? And why is everything so damn same-y?
1988
This game makes you fight like the same 3 bosses 28 times, and then at the end it was a dream. What were they THINKING?
1989
I greatly dislike that item management is so important in the wily stages. If you fuck up any of the platforming too much, you have to either grind for weapon energy or kill yourself. Really dampened my first playthrough when that happened.
1991
So much of this game's level design seems to inhibit you from actually going fast, which is weird considering that was one of the big selling points of the game. Also, what's the deal with reusing Labyrinth Zone for the final area? C'mon now.
The title to this thing is terrible. And most of the powerups feel... unnecessary. The game is way too easy, why do I need like 3 different powerups when most enemies die from being sneezed on?
1995
One of the most difficult 2D platformers from this era that I've actually managed to finish. Levels feel like marathons and god help you if you miss a cage. It's incredibly tedious to play this without using a guide if you plan on beating the final boss, who requires you to basically 100% the game. Some of the cage locations are extremely out there or well hidden to a fault; I can only imagine how much more frustrating this would've been had I not used a guide.
1996
You can't pause during a time trial or else your ghost will become invalidated? What the FUCK
1997
This game has one of the least compelling casts in the entirety of the series. Oh, I'm supposed to like Jeff Bezos because he LARPs as a robot cat and feels really guilty about it? Or Cid who is basically just "I yell at women because I'm inadequate as a human being: the character"? I like the main three, but I just do not care that much about the rest of the playable characters.
Croc is SO fucking cute. I know this was originally pitched as a Yoshi IP but this design stands out in multiple ways. He feels like such a kid with the voice lines he has, and the model has such character and personality to it. I can still clearly imagine the run cycle for this guy; how many 3D platformers can I say that for?
Why are some of the gems horrible to get? How on earth were you supposed to get the blue gem from Turtle Woods without using a guide or having someone just outright tell you "You can't destroy any boxes"? Or the one about being able to fall into the pit in Crash Dash, was I just supposed to guess? It's been several years, but I pretty distinctly there being no conveyance for either of those. Also, the boss fights not being replayable is an unnecessary downgrade from the first game. I just want to play hop skotch 'til you drop with Tiny.
1998
A racing game... WITH ONLY FIVE LEVELS? HOW DID THIS GET GREENLIT
1998
Some of the level tasks are really tedious. A lot of the time, you'll have to go through an entire level multiple times because the game boots you out every time you collect a red remote. Combine that with objectives like "Smash the 5 blood coolers" or other various ones that make you scour the entire level, and playing the game will start to feel like a chore.
1998
Aiming with eggs is complete ass; it's probably one of the worst things that the game expects you to do pretty regularly. Also, it has too many damn minigames. I can live with maybe like 1 or 2, but it feels like every level has some minigame that adds nothing to the game at best and is actively detrimental to the experience at worst.
1998
I've played this game like 3 times and, gun to the head, I could not even hum a melody from any of this game's OST. It's just like... slightly lively muzak.
1999
The boss fights in this game... Electric chair.