JimTheSchoolGirl
2022
Parrying is cool, to me. Any game with some form of parry and riposte is going on the backlog. And the parry in this is pretty good one-on-one
BUT
when there's four guys on screen and they all have different parry timings and they just slide through each other along a 2D plane? You died.
Maybe I'm being super picky, but there's a million of these games and I am but one man.
BUT
when there's four guys on screen and they all have different parry timings and they just slide through each other along a 2D plane? You died.
Maybe I'm being super picky, but there's a million of these games and I am but one man.
Was real confused about what the deal was, until I read the description on here. Now I need to know what Garfield uses to destroy blocks.
Did you know there's a GameBoy version of this? Bit hard to tell what's happening, and I got my ass comprehensively kicked, but cute sprite work!
2001
Wild that they cancelled the GBC version of Resi 1, a faithful adaptation with cool unique music, and instead we got this. Even then, they probably could have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for the excessive crappy combat and truly diabolical soundtrack. Boo.
2004
Yeah the camera is a bit weird, and the dude talks to himself even more than you would see in a parody video
BUT
The visual style has aged so well that everyone in it feels more expressive than today's Uncanny Valley Girls, and you can force-choke a guy and levitate him and unload a machine gun into his torso as a combo.
BUT
The visual style has aged so well that everyone in it feels more expressive than today's Uncanny Valley Girls, and you can force-choke a guy and levitate him and unload a machine gun into his torso as a combo.
2019
A couple of months ago I suggested this to my 7yo as something new to play, and now he's a quarter of the way through Metroid Dread
2023
Game. Game never changes.
2012
Occasionally pretty level design and mostly snappy platforming, but it's all just fetch quests handed out by characters who look like when South Park does an unflattering caricature of a celebrity. No ta.
2013
Did you know that Commander Dante of the Blood Angels is over 1100 years old?
We have Armored Core at home, it's hollow and weightless and less scary for you x
Had a really good time, but honestly felt like I was missing something, waiting for a set piece or a cutscene or whatever to knock me sideways. There's some mad stuff for sure, and the post-game had me momentarily stunned, but overall I'm not in love with it. Maybe it's just been hyped up too much.
There's an unfinished vibe permeating the world; quest lines that wither to nothing, tripwires in the wild that don't seem to belong to anybody, what are those big empty cages for, a vague lost-in-translation plot, etc. A climactic moment referred to my "beloved" and I was like...her? Honestly feel like I accidently skipped some important stuff, or it didn't trigger, or something. Or again maybe I was just expecting too much.
It's a testament to how fun (and funny) it is that I simply ignored stuff that I've properly grumbled about in other games, like the generic fantasy aesthetic and the excessive amount of materials for crafting (which I managed to almost completely ignore by just having magic pawns cover all the healing and buff/debuff business). Combat is a hoot, and the party system makes for a grand adventure. Even when I'm not sure what I'm doing next (which is often), I'm happy to just pick a random quest from my list and head out with my scantily-clad entourage. Plus the Bitterblack Isle stuff is some good solid dungeoneering.
It's good! I'm not sure it's great. Though there were definitely times when I muttered quietly to myself "this is better than Elden Ring".
There's an unfinished vibe permeating the world; quest lines that wither to nothing, tripwires in the wild that don't seem to belong to anybody, what are those big empty cages for, a vague lost-in-translation plot, etc. A climactic moment referred to my "beloved" and I was like...her? Honestly feel like I accidently skipped some important stuff, or it didn't trigger, or something. Or again maybe I was just expecting too much.
It's a testament to how fun (and funny) it is that I simply ignored stuff that I've properly grumbled about in other games, like the generic fantasy aesthetic and the excessive amount of materials for crafting (which I managed to almost completely ignore by just having magic pawns cover all the healing and buff/debuff business). Combat is a hoot, and the party system makes for a grand adventure. Even when I'm not sure what I'm doing next (which is often), I'm happy to just pick a random quest from my list and head out with my scantily-clad entourage. Plus the Bitterblack Isle stuff is some good solid dungeoneering.
It's good! I'm not sure it's great. Though there were definitely times when I muttered quietly to myself "this is better than Elden Ring".
Apologies for the stream of consciousness, but it's midnight and I've just finished this and I want to vent and then go to bed immediately.
After several big pauses to rethink how I was playing, I managed to have a pretty good time, but fuck me it's a mess. Somehow simultaneously too much and not enough, bloated yet shallow, spectacular yet tedious.
System upon system that felt like they did nothing worthwhile, just busywork that I ended up ignoring to mainline the story, which itself never really lived up to the tantalising depths hinted at throughout. There's a bit towards the end where you have to dig up an item, and there's like twenty spots to dig, and after each dig there's a cutscene where at least four characters feel the need to speak before you're allowed to pick another. And that's basically the whole game, padding for the sake of padding, seemingly determined to draw your attention away from the good stuff, which is mental, because when it's good it's really good! But it's so hard to stay awake long enough to see it!
Yet, weirdly, I felt like it ended early, as if it was missing another couple of acts? The final battle was very clearly The Final Battle, but a part of me was expecting some kind of surprise revelation and continuation. In the end it just felt vague, hand-wavy, half-arsed.
I've never been a JRPG guy, there's so much about them that does nothing for me, but the first Xenoblade really opened my eyes. Combat in particular felt really engaging, and the metaphysical nature of it all sucked me right in. X and 2, for all their flaws, were fun and funny and again, great combat. Torna might just be one of my favourite adventures of all time, and definitely my favourite version of the combat system. Yet 3 is so busy, such a wall of both visual and auditory noise, that it feels exhausting, but also frustrating that you can't do more? I never needed to tactically plan out a combo, because the other six team members will just do it by themselves, shouting over each other as they go. I might as well not have been there. Auto-battle, kettle on.
I've been harsh, but there were a lot of good times. It's just that there were also a lot of boring times too. Maybe I'll have a nice time in NG+ five years from now, discovering the last few heroes and going to all those bits of the map I missed. I hope so. I like Xenoblade, and I would like to continue to like it.
Onwards to the DLC!
After several big pauses to rethink how I was playing, I managed to have a pretty good time, but fuck me it's a mess. Somehow simultaneously too much and not enough, bloated yet shallow, spectacular yet tedious.
System upon system that felt like they did nothing worthwhile, just busywork that I ended up ignoring to mainline the story, which itself never really lived up to the tantalising depths hinted at throughout. There's a bit towards the end where you have to dig up an item, and there's like twenty spots to dig, and after each dig there's a cutscene where at least four characters feel the need to speak before you're allowed to pick another. And that's basically the whole game, padding for the sake of padding, seemingly determined to draw your attention away from the good stuff, which is mental, because when it's good it's really good! But it's so hard to stay awake long enough to see it!
Yet, weirdly, I felt like it ended early, as if it was missing another couple of acts? The final battle was very clearly The Final Battle, but a part of me was expecting some kind of surprise revelation and continuation. In the end it just felt vague, hand-wavy, half-arsed.
I've never been a JRPG guy, there's so much about them that does nothing for me, but the first Xenoblade really opened my eyes. Combat in particular felt really engaging, and the metaphysical nature of it all sucked me right in. X and 2, for all their flaws, were fun and funny and again, great combat. Torna might just be one of my favourite adventures of all time, and definitely my favourite version of the combat system. Yet 3 is so busy, such a wall of both visual and auditory noise, that it feels exhausting, but also frustrating that you can't do more? I never needed to tactically plan out a combo, because the other six team members will just do it by themselves, shouting over each other as they go. I might as well not have been there. Auto-battle, kettle on.
I've been harsh, but there were a lot of good times. It's just that there were also a lot of boring times too. Maybe I'll have a nice time in NG+ five years from now, discovering the last few heroes and going to all those bits of the map I missed. I hope so. I like Xenoblade, and I would like to continue to like it.
Onwards to the DLC!
2007
Still a perfect experience
Great concept, but it's pretty superficial in execution. Isometric part looks great, but controls like ass, and the battles feel like nothing. First person bits weirdly floaty. UI is a mess. Dialogue and descriptive text aren't visually differentiated enough, so it's easy to mix up the two.
All of this is to a degree I'd be able to overlook, if only the game was fun.
All of this is to a degree I'd be able to overlook, if only the game was fun.
2006
A sluggish clichéd mess, absolutely no motivation to move forward