This one really hammers home how difficult it must be to make a videogame eh. So many little triggers jostling for priority. Will they align neatly? Maybe, if the player goes this way. But what if the player goes that way? Will an NPC appear out of nowhere, talk about something that hasn't happened, say thanks, walk away for a second, and then turn and fire? Will one start an argument with another who is asleep, only for the sleeping one to get so verbally aggressive that the first kills them by shooting their leg clean off? Will someone fall so deeply in digital love that they run straight through a mountain? Will two separate tour guides simply stop reciting their monologue?

There's honestly so much here, both about the jank and the dull feel of the general gameplay, that would normally turn me off. But there's great stuff here too, especially in the writing. Wild and weird characters, quests that allow you to do some pretty funny stuff, and the slow-motion ragdoll gymnastics we are given as a prize for using VATS. Despite everything, it's a real good laugh.

I finished up by taking control for myself, throwing a guy off the Hoover Dam, and realising I might not be in control for very long. Good stuff.

This one has been on my backlog for years, I just kept putting it off for a bunch of reasons: I've been disappointed by "classics" before, I'm rubbish at all the earlier entries, the only one I really loved is the odd-one-out Simon's Quest, and of the later ones I've only played Order of Ecclesia, in which I got stuck and bored. I've long been prepared to have a bad time, but with Halloween just around the corner I figured I'd given it a chance.

Turns out it's fuckin incredible. The music, the masterful use of 3D effects to enhance the 2D world, the rigid yet finely-tuned combat, the stumbled-upon secrets that would have made you wildly popular on the playground, the daft accessories...cool glasses, rainbow cape, platform shoes and nunchucks, Alucard's got it all.

If I'd played this back then, I just know I'd have gone through it over and over until it became a comfort game, much like Super Metroid or Ocarina. If they ever put it on Switch so I don't have to sit down in front of the TV and operate the goddamn PS4 then maybe I'll get there someday.

God, grant me strength!

I'm upsettingly rubbish at Castlevania. The rigidity just doesn't feel right to me, I feel like every move I make is immediately countered while I'm stuck in my current animation, as if I've fundamentally misunderstood the flow of play. I sort of coped with this on the NES games (though I seriously abused save states at times), but a 16-bit dude should have more moves. Please?

Looks and sounds great though, I really hope I get to see it all someday.