There's a man who has artistic vision,

He's showing up Rockstar with each decision,

He makes it in a flash,

And all the assets clash,

Do his artistic skills know no boundaries?

Rockstar, hire this man,

Rockstar, hire this man,

He's using Unreal Engine in any way he can,

Take Carl Johnson's model for the first step,

And put him in a field filled with stock assets,

Then adjust the lighting gain,

And though it runs at 40 frames,

This man's still a master of the medium,

Rockstar, hire this man,

Rockstar, hire this man,

He's using Unreal Engine in any way he can,

Make a model's textures look realistic,

With no regard for artstyle or the aesthetic,

Oh, crank the bloom and then,

It'll really look next gen,

This man truly is a fucking genius,

Rockstar, hire this man,

Rockstar, hire this man,

He's using Unreal Engine in any way he can,

"Would you like to have a word on how Bill Cosby could be a potential fighter for NASB?"

Super Metroid usually has sequence breaks that are quickly digestible and the moments where you say "They knew!" were short and quick. Metroid Dread pushes one of those moments further than any in Super Metroid. I did a sequence break to get the Gravity Suit early and skip the space jump and another new upgrade. Then I thought I was stuck as I progressed, then I shinesparked, and it worked. Another moment later, I did some wall jump jumbo when I needed the Space Jump and it also worked. There were no glitches involved. This was fucking deliberate. They fucking knew about this route and the fact that they made the story route work for the casual playthrough and one like this made me bump my rating up to 5 stars. That moment was more mindblowing than any moment in Super Metroid.

This review contains spoilers

"I hate Metroids."

With Super Metroid and Metroid 2, it seems clear that things for Samus will become more dire as the series goes on. The structure of Metroid 2 was that the game became much more tense as Samus kept digging deeper into SR388. As that Metroid counter was going down, the tunnels get darker and you become even more isolated. Although the ending was more lighthearted and gave you a sense of self reflection, you still brought the Metroid species to near extinction. Given the context of Metroid 2, Super Metroid raises the stakes with how important that last Metroid Samus saved was. The title screen is the baby Metroid front and center with a couple of dead human bodies on the floor. The song that plays is a remix of Metroid 1's title screen except it doesn't go into that lighthearted part at all. There is no triumphant part. Just the loop that you'd hear in the first 30 seconds, except an octave lower. You feel something sinister is going to happen. You feel dread.

The intro cutscene emphasizes how important the last Metroid is. It could be used for the good of mankind rather than as a weapon which Mother Brain tried to do. But when you get a distress signal from the Ceres station, where the baby Metroid was in captivity. Turns out Ridley is kidnapping the baby for the Metroids to multiply and be used as weapons. You're too ppwerless without your upgrades, but fight until you're wounded. With the damage done to Samus, Ridley flees with the baby. In previous games, Samus want to Zebes and SR388 because missions were given to her there. Here, Samus goes on her own accord to on old yet familiar world.

When you arrive on Zebes, many of the doors you come across are blocked, some rooms require the Morph ball, some require missiles. For now, there is only one way, and that is down. You reach familiar territory. Trekking through the place where you fought Mother Brain, you reach the part where you got the Morph Ball in Metroid 1. Though the music is not triumphant or adventurous. It's ambient and gloomy. There are no enemies to be seen. It's quiet. Too quiet. When you grab the Morph Ball, something is shining on you as if you are being watched. It could be a camera, but who is behind it? Friend or foe?

Foe. Space Pirates show up and want you dead. You manage to get away from them and go get the bomb. It sits on the hands of a Chozo statue. You grab the bomb, and the statue turns out to be a Torizo that was guarding the upgrade and now you have to fight it. For here on out, expect the unexpected.

After the boss, you can go to 2 places, you can progress the story by going up and then left, or you can go down and use your bomb to get a missile tank. You get out of that missile tank route by holding right and using your bomb. When done so, you will learn a secret route. These will appear throughout the game so be on the lookout.

The thing that players will first notice, if they have played Metroid NES and Metroid 2 GB, is that many things have been updated. Samus's jumps aren't as floaty, rechsrge stations exist for less grinding, and most importantly, Super Metroid has a map. This makes navigating through areas much easier than in Metroid 1. It's clear how different rooms are given their length and width. Only problem, and my biggest initially, is that it doesn't give enough information. I wish that like Zero Mission and AM2R, the map would tell which doors led to rooms, where rooms take you. It would make navigating less of a chore if the map has rooms that are adjacent to each other. I couldn't find any ROM hacks that alleviate this personal gripe so let me know if there actually is one or in development.

Upgrades and moves have been widely expanded. My favorite one are the ones that involve with sequence breaks and being quick like the Speed booster, Shinespark, and Samus's walljump. There's a reason why Super Metroid is one of the most popular video games to speedrun; with its upgrades and nonlinear structure, there are many ways to approach the game such as the Reverse Boss order runs, minimalist runs. Super Metroid sets the standard for Metroidvanias. The magic of Metroid tends to be how the game makes the player feel like that they have outsmarted the game while also being deliberately designed. Most well known example being the enterance to Kraid's lair. You think that you need the Hi-Jump boots to get there, but you can just wall jump off that ledge. It's a game that is confident in its players with respect rather than patronize (unless if it's for a story reason like in Fusion which really works).More than any other Metroid does Super Metroid incentivize repeat playthroughs and that's what will make me realize that your opinions are best formed on repeat playthroughs. I've played the game 3 times so far and now I'm willing to replay Zero Mission, AM2R, and Fusion.

One thing people nag on are the controls, I was fine with them on my first playrhrough. Playing further, I have appreciated them even more, especially the wall jumps since I got them down. I love how much height you can get from them thanks to Samus's floaty jumps to the point where I might prefer them over ZM and AM2R's.

I've really come around to this game on repeat playthroughs. With it's nonlinear structure, varied ways to get from point A to point B, excellent environmental storytelling, I now get why Super Metroid is one of the greatest games of all time and Yoshio Sakamoto's magnum opus. Is it perfect? Hell no, but what it does well, it does extraordinarily. At first this used to be my least favorite 2D Metroid that I have played, but now, I don't know. With Dread just an hour away and replays to do, we'll see. For now, I love this game and Metroid is now one of my favorite franchises.

MARGARET THATCHER IS DEAD!

DING DONG! THE WICKED BITCH IS DEAD!

IT'S A SHAME THE BITCH DIDN'T DIE 87 YEARS AGO

IT'S A SHAME THAT THE IRA DIDN'T KILL THE BITCH

My fucking god! These bitches gay! Good for them! Good for them.

i thlammed my penith in the car door

My biggest criticism after 11 hours would be how godlike the bandit is compared to any other character that I have played. He's too much fucking fun that everyone sucks.

What will be the next game in 3 years be called if we already have this?

"Every soul has its dark."

-John Darksoul from the hit series: Dark Souls

Ignore the 4.5. It's flawed but a top 10 favorite.

I got this game because I wanted to do my job in a video game. I can't wait to bear the pains of being a courier in video game form just like in real life. Also, fuck Instacart.

With the Steam Deck, you can now play CS:GO on the GO.

Imagine being Smash Bros right now. Rollback and wavedashing, and you get to main Nigel. My call is that Squidward will be a fighter.