9 reviews liked by LongJohnStevens


Enjoyment - 5/10
Difficulty - 3/10

Horizon Zero Dawn is a painfully average video game.

The visual splendour of Horizon Zero Dawn's landscapes and vistas really carries the experience. Also, traversing on your robot horse and encountering imposing machines is cool. However, all of the game's positive aspects are undercut by its conflicting mechanics and genuinely awful story.

Combat is borderline atrocious. Not once did I have a good time with battling human or machine enemies. Dodging, slow-motion aiming, melee, stealth, it all seemed to run counter to the core of the game. Repetitive mission structures and forgettable side quests also paint the game badly. If I am being completely honest, if the game had a NO COMBAT PASSIVISM lean in its framework I think it would've been a much better game with a stronger identity it could build off.

The ecological, industrial, and tribal theming of Horizon Zero Dawn was very promising. Discovering titbits of the world's history that better informs you about this video game space gave me goose bumps. Stumbling across ruined buildings that were once bustling places now turned to moss infused steel henges as a result of nature's reclamation is truly immersive. However, the world building and the overarching stories are not happily married to each other which leaves a confusing energy for its players to divorce. By the end of the adventure, it left me massively disappointed as it only told a children's first human vs. earth conflict story.

Characterization is dreadful. Predictable character arcs. Pandering story beats. Annoying and unlikeable main character. Contradictory character actions within the plot. Bad ending. Very, very poorly directed.

"If the game was five hours long, maybe it would be good" -Girlfriend.

Don't really know how to end this. Horizon Zero Dawn is an annoying ginger girl who clumsily fights robot dinosaur in attempt to do something??
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This review contains spoilers

i don't feel great about essentially coming back to this game and going "this kind of sucks" because i really do think it's important we support indie developers worldwide and i would rather people fight against the trends of the aaa sphere of gaming and attempt to be lofty and creative and experimental. but... with that said, yeah, i think oneshot's attempts at metafictional elements of gameplay come at the expense of staying power, strong writing, memorable characters, or... any form of purpose. this is a game i think clearly focusing on the gimmick for the sake of the gimmick before worrying about much of anything else.

there ultimately isn't any reason for this game to dive into a metafictional narrative between a player "character", a sentient a.i. and niko, and it doesn't do anything to solidify an authentic relationship between those 3 parties. meta rpgmaker titles were a dime a dozen at the time, and between its 2010s-quirky-cutesy humor and prose and the general "subversive" attempts at manipulating that tone into something moodier and darker (which i will give credit, it manages to pull off every once in a while when it's not shoving a misguided narrative at you or attempting to make you feel something for a character you've shared a dozen lines of text with) there isn't really anything... special about oneshot? there isn't much that it does that i haven't seen plenty of other rpgmaker titles do, and most of which came years and years before oneshot's completion.

if the idea of the meta aspects was to be purely gameplay, then fine, but even that aspect half-asses the execution: look for example at the moment near the end of the first playthrough in which the game goes "oh if ONLY there was SOME WAY we could change this outcome.... oh... if only you could CHECK YOUR DESKTOP AND GO TO THE DOCUMENTS FOLDER, so to speak.... oh... sigh..." - where is the intrigue? where is the meta puzzle solving? wouldn't the puzzle be to figure out how to fix that on your own? to have the player explore in a manner similar to niko? but clearly the game doesn't want you to enjoy the process of playing it, as niko literally turns to the player and essentially goes "but WHY would someone MAKE a fictional world like this? WHY????". and then there's the matter of making a player stand-in who allegedly exists outside of the game but still needs to play by the game's rules (i.e. selecting yes or no answers or a select amount of options with which to interact with niko) even though the entire point is that niko and the player themselves can literally move through the "walls" of the .exe's window. it's a magic trick show for people who don't understand the gimmicks and how they work... not much else of substance beyond that.

if the cutesy aesthetic and "wholesome smol bean!!!" writing don't click with you, i'm sorry but i don't think there's a lot going on here. let alone the fact that the entire concept of the original game, that you have one shot to complete it, is completely taken away by its tacked on true ending route, for the sake of an underwhelming and misguided narrative that has no purpose to incorporate meta aspects but does what oneshot does best - rides on the coattails of the trends of the time without stopping to think of why it's doing it.

Completed the Belobog arc and put it down. The story has interesting concepts, but there are so many incredibly boring cutscenes which fail to capitalize on them. Oozing with style, though, and has pretty decent turn-based mechanics.

I have never been so glad to return to a piece of media that I initially dropped. Not even remotely in the right place to write about this experience yet, but this one, I promise I'll try. Another one to eventually come back and try to meet with the pen when I have the time and energy to commit. For now - live happily, read Cyrano, and be well. Thank you, SCA-Ji.

Should of just remade Diablo 3

I think this series made me realize I was just a girl the entire time actually

Another (quite frankly boring) game in the lineage of fetishistic edgy slop that handles its subject matter with the same tact and finesse as a child playing with a lighter