replayed via Master Chief Collection w/ co-op partner MagesticSapling on Heroic, check his review out too!

”...But you had something they didn't. Something no one saw but me. Can you guess? Luck. Was I wrong?”

Even a little over a decade and a half after its 2007 release, there's a grand sense of scale emanating from the package, a feat not many things can be able to behold over, heightened from when HD displays were becoming the norm. Compared to the morphs development of the first Halo went through and the drastic, heavy toll the crew faced for its sequel, 3 felt like a spiritual refresh, a hardened attempt at righting some wrongs with a more relaxed atmosphere and time to put together mechanics and ideas such as Forge in place while keeping the magic of 2 intact, albeit once again not without some wrenches in the mix. Despite events such as key figures like Jason Jones taking sabbatical after conflicts from higher ups, no one had a real sense of where to take the story for a while during the start which led to a different committee doing the outline, and some lingering splinters of group activity, the blemishes of Halo 3 isn’t quite as potent as the ones you’d witness in the prior two entries. Though, all the same, it was pretty clear some like Marty O’Donnell, Joseph Staten, and Jaime Griesemer to name a few were about ready to move on from the brand and hopefully try for something else, which once again you can feel during the title’s closing third where it unfortunately yet understandably had to rush the finalization of Arbiter’s, Keyes’, Johnson’s, Guilty Spark’s, Cortana’s, and Chief’s arcs within the last hour. Still, the fact this is the only major thing I have to complain about in regards to the writing shows I don’t have much friction with the rest of it.

”Tank beats Ghost. Tank beats Hunter. Tank beats everything! Oh man, I could do this all day!”

An important mark with Halo is that, at least during its prime, it was able to cultivate both the nerdy lore-heavy narrative geeks alongside the junkie gung-ho dudebro crowd. I haven’t elaborated much on the multiplayer aspect of the series, mainly cause I don’t exactly play much of it anymore aside from again co-op, but I remember a lot of the maps specifically in 3 thanks to my brothers and brief dabbling of Xbox Live back when I was able to, as well as when it was made available to play on PC thanks to the MCC. Maps such as Sandtrap, Snowbound, High Ground, and Valhalla are about as etched into my brain similar to those who know the back of Dust 2 and Nuketown like the back of their hands. Anyway, I bring it up because the campaign this time around is when it starts to relish in its bombast appeal, bringing everyone in to bust some guts metaphorically or literally. Doesn’t matter if it’s the Red vs. Blue easter egg regarding passwords, or if you intentionally have the IWHBYD Skull on, or taking part in the many, many setpieces, or listening to yet another masterpiece of an OST by previously mentioned Martin O’Donnell and Michael Salvatori, it wants, no encourages you to partake in the vigor and spectacle, to march on and press the fight onward. Dismiss its lulls of action or convexing moments, right around the corner will be something to push you back up on your feet.

They outnumber us three-to-one! Then it is an even fight.

What helps in this regard is the weapon balancing this time around. My experience with shooters has since dwindled over recent years, but even still I’m pretty confident in saying this is likely my favorite set of guns of the genre, at the very least near the apex of its long-spanning history. Old reliables return and receive much needed tuning such as the Needler, armaments that still needed an extra kick received them such as the Plasma Pistol, ones that needed a nerf got hit with the right amount such as the Energy Sword, and don’t even get me started on the new inclusions. The Spiker. The Mauler. The Flamethrower you can pick up in certain situations. Being able to rip apart then use the mounted turrets and newcomer missile pod. Abilities such as shields, flares, and the insanely questionable for campaign radar jammer. The Spike and Incendiary Grenades. Incoming vehicles such as the Hornet, Chopper, and Mongoose. The Spartan Laser. The Gravity Hammer. With the open-ended philosophy being tuned justly at last, and nearly every single level having their own unique quirk to make them stand out amongst one another, it’s such an ease to get into a power trip, plan accordingly and strike back when pushed against the wall, and really, just throw shit together and see what’ll make them tick. Or, to put it more bluntly, “blowing shit up has never felt so good”. Also helps that the movement and checkpoint system are the best they’ve ever been as well, with jumps and the degree in which you’ll be able to carve your assault being all the more tightened as you go along. Time seems to continuously escape me here, as what feels like five hours of fun instead happened in a mere two.

We’ll make it.

The ad campaign was, and truthfully still is, something that’s become a notable attachment of 3’s success. A faux interview between UNSC veterans and other minor adverts to help sell the idea that the struggle of finishing a fight was real. At least several instances exist of either battered soldiers, congratulatory banter between both the humans and a newly made alliance with the Elites, or hostile tension as to what must be done to wrap it all up and start preparing for a fresh future. Though, in a specific case, during Cortana - the level, I mean - the setting of High Charity had become a wreck of rampancy and turmoil. Commonly cited as the low point due to its perplexing layout and, reiterating, persistent onslaught of enemies hurling bullets, other projectiles, or even themselves towards you, it’s ironically something that perhaps pushed this aspect the hardest, at least to some degree; something that was once a high point of a species reduced to rot and decay, as you deal with an onslaught of the returning Flood to retrieve Cortana and finish the fight. A diatribe brokered between a being struggling to accept their demise, and an intelligence struggling to maintain their sanity. Even from this, however, someone was still resisting. Someone was still etching forward despite what the scenery had told them. Someone was, although rather awkwardly and hastefully, able to reaffirm someone’s mentality and stand back up from the scene of it all. The mask of their intention murk, it was him who was still able to keep everyone together even from way back in the initial start.

It’s from this, specifically, where a meek 8-year-old had begun to crystalize an emotion they didn’t quite understand yet: the feeling of a belief.

There are several words I wish I could say about this game. Many of which I will unfortunately be unable to say without threat of legal action, but I shall try my best.

Speaking from my own experience as a hobbyist and aspiring game developer, Garten of Banban feels much like the kind of projects you throw together when you're just getting your feet wet with a new engine, style, or just game development in general. The kind of unpolished, unoptimized mess of various mechanics jammed into each other that you know isn't anywhere close to a finished product, but still feel proud of just on the basis of getting it working at all. The kind that will never see the light of day, aside from maybe a few friends you send it to being like "Check this out, first time doing this, can't believe it actually works.", knowing full well future attempts will start from scratch now that you know what you're doing. And yet, here it is, published, with a merch link on the main menu.

I was fortunate, having the foresight to enlist a dear friend who shares whatever deep-rooted trauma or mental illness draws me to this style of game. Were it not for their company, I likely would have been driven to my breaking point, and for that, I am thankful. I don't often outwardly express frustration in a non-joking manner, so the fact that I let out an involuntary cry of pure rage at one point goes to show this game's ability to get into your head. In a way, it's almost impressive, given the length and quality.

Graphically, this game looks worse than one made in Roblox. And I'm not talking about the Roblox of today, where there's somehow actual money behind the experiences, I mean the Roblox my elderly, 23-year-old self played as a preteen, where a diagonal cylinder seemed like a greater feat of computer engineering than landing man on the moon.

Short aside, cylinder is such an odd word. It's one of the few words in English where it's spelled almost exactly how it's pronounced, and yet I can never get it right because I'm not used to that being the case.

Anyway, back on topic, almost everything in this game is made up of single color 3D shapes occasionally textured; the visual equivalent of plain, slightly-undercooked pasta, which really begs the question: why does this game run so poorly? I admittedly am rocking a decently old ThinkPad from 2018, but even still, I manage to run games with significantly more graphical and computational demands than this realistically should have. For god's sake, I got through decently modded Skyrim on this ol' boy with more consistent performance. I'd love to say I know the answer, but alas, I have not yet managed to use Blender for more than 20 minutes without getting so frustrated I remove it from my computer, so I cannot speak on the intricacies of 3D graphics.

Now, onto the story.

Now, onto the gameplay. Not great, I gotta say. As I was sorta saying above, it's just a bunch of mechanics thrown together. Due to how short the game is, each new, unrelated mechanic is only really used the one time and never again, barring the "press button with drone" or "press button on wall with correct key in possession." The one time you're introduced to a new gameplay mechanic that builds off an existing one, it is only used for the single "silent tutorial" type introduction puzzle and then never again, it's genuinely hilarious.

During the horror chase sequence, I almost lost my mind. You're forced to run along a snaking platform slowly extending from the wall, and the combination of the slippery movement, single-digit framerate and just my general overreation to the idea of being chased led to me dying over and over and over just from falling off the goddamn platform. Thankfully, it seems the devs learned from their mistake, as they implement invisible barriers later in the same sequence to prevent you from accidentally succeeding in a way they didn't intend, i.e. running straight for the exit instead of pressing a random button on the wall first. A button which is next to a near-identical button that does nothing, that I definitely didn't spend too long mashing before realizing my mistake and getting caught, no sirree.

Why am I doing this, why am I writing this? What compelled me to spend more time than it took playing the actual game writing this review? I don't know. I really don't. I had a miserable time playing this, which really begs the question: Why am I going to play the sequel? Who can say.

replayed via Master Chief Collection w/ co-op partner MagesticSapling on Heroic

Hmmm, not much I can say for this log or review. I will say that I am gonna concede a bit and admit that the common critique of repetition and exact room layout does show itself now that I've replayed it after a good while. People rightfully point to Library as the quality falloff, but Assault On The Control Room's when the ugliness shows. Having to do the same objective three times amidst constant onslaughts of enemy waves, as both of us haphazardly and confusingly figure out where to go despite our previous outings with the game, kinda sucked! Same goes for the "boss" fight at Maw, dunno why they'd expect you to keep scrounging for explosives for a precise shot against shafts at the top. I don't really mind that the back half of the game's just a mirrored reflection of the prior levels though, it makes sense from a narrative standpoint and some of the best moments, such as Keyes and 343 Guilty Spark, are found here anyway.

It's not truly nostalgia that's keeping me from marking it lower - this is actually the third Halo game I touched after 2 and 3, and one I've played the least of - because I still find the overall package to be pretty stellar despite its obvious and glaring trappings. Seeing a streak of explosions happen from grenades, Needler shots, rockets, Flood carriers, shit all of the above, activates a tank of dopamine within my head, even if later game's soundscapes (music included) are better on that front. Plus, I dunno, playing this on Heroic is still a fun time, and there's some quirks from either the AI or weaponry available that makes it pretty exhilarating that's either understandably or unfortunately lost later on that keeps it from feeling too obsolete from its sequels. Maybe I'm just a bit of a masochist though...

I've always maintained Halo's stories, within the games themselves anyway, don't become interesting and like, 'layered' with themes until the next one, but looking at this from the perspective of a pseudo-continuation of Bungie's Marathon trilogy makes it a little more exciting, Monitor and Cortana being the AI standees as they drivel and spout against one another. It's pretty cool, even if at certain points I check out and go through other stuff on my phone. Also listen I know this is pretty much something everyone brings up but like, oh my god, the Anniversary graphics suck so much ass. Just the absolute pinnacle of a """remaster""" missing the point of the original's art direction. The only time Sap and I found the remaster graphics to be an actual addition to what the original was doing is with Keyes' Alien homage fuckery.

I played this intermittently of reading I'm In Love With The Villainess' first light novel volume, the Kase-San& manga series, as well as Boogiepop Phantom and its preceding LN volume. Clearly, this was what Microsoft and Bungie wanted to happen all along, and I recommend you do the same. Or just go through those separately, idk I ain't the boss of you.