693 Reviews liked by Mapache


After over a week with this I gotta be real, despite some huge glaring VERY Niantic issues I have with this game, it does actually manage to capture most of what's fun about the loop of Monster Hunter. I'm having a pretty great time with it. This is easily Niantic's best game because it has an actual satisfying gameplay element on top of the GPS stuff.

Estuvo buenisimo. Me gustó la historia, los personajes, las misiones, mayormente todo. Si siento que le faltaron algunas cosas (uno o 2 gadgets mas) y algunas falencias en la historia (Mas que nada, me hubiera gustado que miles hubiera hecho su nuevo traje mas tarde en la historia, literal solo lo llega usar en una hora de juego). Pero en general me gustó mucho, Miles es el goat, las misiones secundarias son divertidas, me gustaron mucho las dinamicas de miles con ganke, su mamá y su tio, y tinkereer ta bien. Es una historia early callejera de Spiderman como me gusta.

Cuando salio hubo mucha polemica por ser muy cortó. Yo me demore 25 horas en platinarlo, y aunque 60k en su lanzamiento fue mucho, almenos hoy en dia te lo encuentras ya a 15k y vale mucho la pena. Aunque prefiero el original MSM, este sigue siendo un gran juego.

This review contains spoilers

A cool little experience that nails its vibes and feels wonderfully distinct.

The idea of matching a simple crop harvesting idle game with the explicit framing of an accompanying music album is great. These 2 halves really synergize well with each other.

The only sticking point is that the album tracks are coupled to clicking on waystones. To me, this was easily solved by explicitly waiting for a track to end before advancing. This seems like the intended experience, and watching the gameplay supports this waiting well. It is worth noting that somebody could utterly ruin their experience by rushing waystones and always clicking on them once the path is open, but I think most players will realize that's not how they want to engage with the experience.
[Also the first few waystones are quite well placed to match gameplay pacing with album pacing, this is only an issue that appears after the first zoomed out one]

The track progress visualization is an incredible touch and looks quite cool.

Seeing the field get cleared is pretty satisfying. There's not really any depth to your purchases, but there doesn't need to be for the gameplay to fulfill it's intent here. [Shoutout to the way they replace the verb on "purchase" each time, that's a pretty great gag]

The beacon is a great mechanic, giving the player a sense of agency over how the field gets cleared. Pair that with the murals that get revealed as you clear space, and the player is left with a satisfying and intriguing object to interact with as they listen to the album.

My favorite component is definitely the waystone dialog scenes. I quite like the writing for them and they excelled at leaning into that surreal "music video" style of storytelling. I give the writing a lot of credit for how memorable I found this game.

THIS GAME IS A HUGE FAILURE AND IT'S THE PUBLISHER'S FAULT ADVERTISING IT WRONG. IT IS NOT MARVEL XCOM. IT IS NOT THAT CRINGE. OK IT KIND OF IS BUT LIKE GROW A PAIR YOU BIG BABY YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON GREAT CARD BATTLER / STRATEGY MOVEMENT GAME. MARVEL IS TIRED BUT THIS GAME WIRED.

This game is fucking awesome when it gets down to the battles. It's balanced perfectly. I grinded out for the harder difficulties because I was ready to sweat after the first couple levels. Firaxis knows how to make pulse pounding turn based action. They really are at their best here making compelling, fun systems and dynamic enough difficulty settings that are easy enough for every kind of person jump into -- but you can get your ass kicked, too if you really really want to.

You can make custom comic book photos of your squad after ever mission. There's a mini overworld with some minor distractions in there. It's aight, you gotta participate in it to get all the extra challenges and stuff.

I love this game. I think it was probably a great idea when it was pitched, but when it released people were DONE with Marvel shit. So a game that goes with that Kevin Feige approved dialogue will just remind you of that stagnation with the movies. To be real, this game does Captain Marvel the best. The Runaways get a fair amount of love. Every character is fun to play. It is just a shame that Disney penis'd Marvel and made everyone sick of Marvel. Midnight Suns was one of the biggest victims of the penising. Aw well, you can buy this bad boy for like 20 bucks and it's super worth it.

Penis.

I'm willing to die on the hill that this game is better to play (and replay) than even Super Mario World. The level design is more compact and engaging, the physics are perfect (not too slippery...not too restricted) and the tanooki leaf doesn't necessarily break the game in half quite like the cape.

That isn't to say I dislike World (quite the opposite), but as far as I'm concerned, this is where the Mario games truly peaked in the 2D space.

The type of shovelware well-meaning grandmas used to buy their grandkids for the Wii on Christmases and birthdays back in the late 2000s, now on the 9th generation of consoles! Look, developer IguanaBee was forced to make this under some brutal time and financial constraints. They're a talented studio which can be seen in titles such as their incredibly charming MonsterBag. Oddly enough, despite the ultimate results this might actually be further proof of said talent. In roughly a year, without guidance or proper monetary support from the publisher to staff a full team on the project, and after a bit of post-release patching to update stuff such as the map so that it now shows your position on it, they churned out an entirely playable open-world action adventure. Doesn't make it a fun experience, but it's impossible to not be at least minorly impressed with what they were able to accomplish (however minuscule) with so many hurdles in their way.

Alright, now that I’ve given its makers a somewhat obligatory “it’s okay bud, we know it’s not really your fault” pat on the back, it’s time to mercilessly crap all over this abomination! We are looking at a genuinely abhorrent product here. Sure, Rise of Kong is a disaster from technical perspective with bugs that cause you to inexplicably get stuck on invisible snares forcing autosave reloads, graphics that look like they're from a PS2 offering (and not one of the pretty ones), environments that sometimes awkwardly melt into shape as you approach them in a manner akin to a hallucinogenic induced trip, and audio quality so bad it needs to be heard to be believed, but its worst aspects are easily those opening chapters where things are unreasonably challenging.

If there's any ish I can’t stand it’s when a bad game doesn’t have the decency to just let you steamroll through it with little trouble. The early hours are brutally plagued by the titular ape’s pathetically limited range and wimpy attacks that barely chip away at the health bars of his enemies. Shouldn’t this have been some kind of power fantasy? Why am I getting wrecked by what appear to be little green dodo birds? At no point do you feel like a beast powerful enough to have slugged it out in movies with the King of the Monsters. Even the way basic trees and other objects in the scenery tower over him give the impression that you’re controlling a regular-sized gorilla rather than one humongous enough to climb the Empire State Building.

Eventually you do begin to attain the true might you would expect from a kaiju with the first name of “King,” but it never seems to be the result of your investments into any of the skill trees. I can’t prove it, yet I have this unshakable suspicion that the devs artificially lower the difficulty in later chapters to give players the ​illusion of getting stronger rather than legitimately allowing them to become so, because it’s not remotely believable that those meager initial stat boosts I was unlocking would have had such a profound ability to leave foes that were previously causing me problems all of the sudden crumbling at my feet.

Oh well, at least when that happens it becomes pretty smooth sailing to the credits. You’ll still struggle to reach them though. Your motivation will be low. The entire runtime of Skull Island is a mind-numbingly dull loop of running around massive maze-like environments of identical assets to find unmarked, sparsely located “ascension event” arena fights and pick up the occasional collectible on your way to the area’s boss. There are plenty of threats along the way, but engaging with them is totally pointless. Not just because the combat sucks either. Defeating foes outside of the required sections grants you no additional EXP points, meaning they’re literally a complete waste of time. You’re better off simply sprinting past everything and focusing exclusively on whatever boring platforming segment is between you and the next mandatory encounter.

As much as I believe the small Chilean indie developers mostly deserve a pass for this given the circumstances, it is simultaneously not hard to wonder why they continued to try to create a package so grand in scope rather than reducing its scale to something more reasonable. Perhaps they shouldn't escape blame entirely. Their ambition paired with the lackluster resources from GameMill seriously cost them here. There were quite a few shockingly dreadful releases in 2023 and Skull Island: Rise of Kong blows the few I personally played out of the water, proving far fouler than the likes of Gollum or even TWD: Destinies. Is it the worst game of that year? That's highly likely. It's easily the top contender in my eyes.

1/10

Nearly perfect game (except Terror Time, all my homies hate Terror Time). You can spend 100+ hours in Blasters and it's an optional side mode. Best monster collector since B2W2, best America parody since Earthbound. So many spontaneous little events, the multiple main character angle works really well and allows the world you get to explore be pretty damn big. Insane number of Yo-kai, revamped battle system, we can go on and on.

Side note, I own the cart. Bought it at launch so I didn't have to take out a loan either. You are all jealous.

mixed feelings on this one…the gameplay is pretty cool I suppose. But like a lot of the rest feels sort of duct taped together.

tl;dr:
It’s a solid game but I think it’s barely a “yokai watch” game

Gameplay:
kinda meh until you unlock ~ half of the skill tree

Befriending:
Why is it like this. Why do I have to do like 5x the amount of work to befriend one yokai 😭

Crank a kai:
Didn’t give me any cool yokai 💔

Plot:
unlimited plot but no plot…if you rlly want the plot just watch the tie in movies and show(s)

The yokai:
I ❤️ the new yokai in this game

The blasters:
it being DLC is meh but Level 5 was probably not doing well at that point so whatever. It’s not as broken as Busters 2 and not really as fun as Busters Treasure (ykw3). It was fun in a vacuum though

Characters:
Why are there so many 😭

Angel_Arle Sailor Moon reviews
Part 1: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon for GB
Part 2: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon for Super Famicom & Mega Drive
Part 4: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon R for Super Famicom
Part 5: Welcome Nakayoshi Park for GB

Here we are with the next Sailor Moon review but what’s this? This doesn’t seem to be a Sailor Moon game! Well I’m cheating a little, this is a game with Sailor Moon in it because this stars a bunch of series that were featured in the Nakayoshi magazine. That magazine is where Sailor Moon was serialized in. This was also one of the last Famicom games to even come out officially, coming out December 10th 1993. In fact the only other Famicom games left that weren’t rereleases were Igo-Shinan ‘94, Momotaro Densetsu Gaiden, Nekketsu! Street Basket: Ganbare Dunk Heroes, Wario no Mori, J-League Super Top Players, Pachi Slot Adventure 3, J.League Winning Goal, and Takahashi Meijin no Boukenjima IV. I can’t even find a developer for this game, the only thing known is the publisher which is Yukata. It’s weird because there are credits so maybe someone someday can figure out who it is. That said this could be the most negative I’ll be for this series of reviews so be warned I’m not going to be positive.

Nakayoshi to Issho is an RPG where you go through 6 different worlds based on different franchises. You play as a nameless little girl you can name yourself. The story is barely even there and can be said in one sentence, being a bad guy that I already forgot the name of and wants to steal the gold gems and the 6 author’s favorite pens to make them all write Evil Manga. Yes I’m serious this is really what the plot is. You don’t even see the main villain till the fight with him and he has absolutely no substance. The most you’ll get out of the game is some of the writing being kind of funny like Peeko saying “What the cluck?” If you’re wondering what the Sailor Moon plot is, well the girls get kidnapped and you have to save them with the help of Luna and Artemis. You’ll face off against brainwashed versions of Umino, Naru, and Motoki. That’s really about it, the final boss is also here but he really is just there to be a boss at the end of Tokyo Tower. Mamoru and Chibiusa are also oddly missing in the plot which feels odd to do.

Now the gameplay has you walking around getting important items and enemies. What you do in the overworlds is pretty simple and there are barely even any puzzles to solve in these. It’s mostly just walking from one destination to the other with most plots just being this character is in trouble, please save them and also make sure to get those 3 gold gems and author’s pens. Though, these overworlds are awful. Have you ever played an RPG where an enemy can unintentionally walk into a spot preventing you from getting to where you want? Well that happens a lot in the town parts of this game ESPECIALLY THE SAILOR MOON ONE! It is so damn annoying and what’s even worse they have dead ends so that 30 seconds of waiting could have been all for nothing! Worst part of this is they like to copy and paste areas so much, this one town is the same as the Juuban District, this one school is the same as the other school, this forest is the same as the magic world. It’s all just so lazy, even the layouts seem copy pasted. To be honest I’d even argue it’s also offensive towards the source material, you’re basically just saying these stories don’t have unique places which feels awfully rude. Maybe I’m just overthinking it though.

Battles are something that never happen randomly. Some enemies disguised or not can only fight if you interact with them. The game does still sometimes force you to fight enemies if they block a path. Battling is such an unfun task. I’m going to be blunt, it’s freaking slots IT’S JUST SLOTS!! You start with choosing what magic you wanna use and then spin the slots and hope you land on what you want. The punch will let you do a basic attack, the gem will let you do your magic, the bag will let you use your attack item, the smiley face gives you a chance to fully heal, and then there are the stars. Getting something like two stars and a punch can make you do a continuous attack but getting something like all three stars will make you do an ultimate attack, this also is the case for something like three punches but not as strong. Folks, this is just not fun. What the hell is even the point of making a beginner’s RPG if it’s going to have some of the most boring combat I’ve ever seen, there’s not even strategy! There’s no statuses to deal with, no stat buffs or debuffs, no items besides healing, NOTHING!

Actually let’s talk about those attack items. Ok so you can get an item to use to attack and they all have a specific amount of power. You can even buy stronger ones in shops at least that was the point but my god it just doesn’t work! I swear 90% of the time it lands on the bag you just use the one you got from the Author. What’s even worse is by the later half they just give you items that are stronger than in any shop, there is even an egg shop for attacks but they are still weaker like what is even the point of any of this!? There’s also magic which for most of the game drains too much of it if you want to use powerful ones and again you really don’t have control over using it or not, it’s luck based. But what if I told you a lot of this doesn’t matter because there is no EXP…

That’s right, no EXP basically means optional encounters are a waste of time. Why even do optional ones when it’ll just drain resources. Sure you can get peaches which is the currency in fact let me give you a tip about this. In the 2nd world in the game, you can go to this park where a clown is which you need his help for progression, there’s an enemy in this area. Just fight this thing over and over till you have 8,000-10,000 peaches and congrats you have now completely destroyed any reason to fight any enemy that isn’t forced onto you. You might go, but what if I accidentally talk to an enemy that I thought was an NPC? Not to worry because 97% of the enemies have a 100% run rate! I’m not kidding, there was only one boss named Waruji where I couldn’t run away from. You can even run away from the final boss! I seriously have to ask, what were they thinking!? The last thing I have to mention is in the Sailor Moon world, for each Sailor Senshi you save, they can show up on slots and do an attack if it lands on their symbol. Not sure why only they got to do battles with you and not anyone else from other worlds but at least they look cool.

The last couple of things I have to bring up are the transformations. You can turn into Wapiko in world 1 which lets you talk to animals. You can turn into MinMin in world 3 which lets you float in the overworld. Finally you can turn into Usagi Tsukino which lets you become Sailor Moon once you get the transformation brooch. They even have special moves for all three stars like Tuxedo Mask showing up to throw roses. Be careful because wearing them drains your health which means nothing because you can find an item in the first world to prevent this making me wonder why even have that be a thing. Lastly there is the phone booth which is where you can save with the editor. You can also talk with other characters here too for tips but they are so useless and they even have this phone card where you have a limited amount of seconds before it expires. Thing is you’ll never even run out of the first one and they expect you to pay 1,000 peaches just to get a new one. God this game is just mistake after mistake what a nightmare.

Here’s the only trivia I have to give this time. One NPC in the Sailor Moon world will tell you the Super Famicom Sailor Moon game is awesome. He is wrong, don't make it tempt you to buy the game, don’t do it!

Graphically this game is very unimpressive for how late it is. It almost could pass as competition for Dragon Quest 1. This game not only lazily reuses areas all the time but even reuses sprites. There are three important characters that just have the same sprite as Minako which feels wrong and again disrespectful. The only neat thing I have to say is the portraits for characters and the authors are good and the battle sprites look nice and big but lack much animation. It was also nice seeing the Sailor Senshi looking more like how they do in the manga. It’s not all bad but a lot of it is sadly. RPGs from 5 years ago looked better than this. The music is also neat but nothing amazing. I really don’t have much to say about it except I hate how it always restarts when you go into a new room.

This game just annoys me like how I have played this game 6 times. I don't get it! What is wrong with me?! I usually don’t like to say this because I often feel it’s wrong to say but it actually feels like they didn’t try at all. There’s no heart put into this game and it rarely ever feels like it’s respecting the source materials for each world. Granted maybe it’s not fair to say when I haven’t seen any of them besides Sailor Moon but if they can’t even do anything cool for that one, why should I expect the others to be better? This game fails in many ways and while it’s far from the worst game on the system heck it ain’t even the worst RPG not even close. It’s still very bad though and it’s just not worth going through even if you’re a Sailor Moon fan. The game also goes for high prices nowadays so good luck even owning a legit copy. There were two more Nakayoshi games after this with one on the Game Boy and another on Super Famicom. I can only hope this will be the worst it gets because god this wasn’t fun. See you next time and remember, The Moonlight is a Messenger of Love!

You’ve gotta be shitting me. They have already ran out of ideas and now they are just stealing other games and reskinning them to look like Hello Neighbor. Today it’s Scrap Mechanic but where does it end? Are we gonna see Hello Neighbor rouge lites, MMOs, and dating sims next? WHENS HELLO NEIGHBOR HOUSE FLIPPER HUH? WHERE IS IT TINYBUILD? 😡

There's a lot I could shotgun blabber about how much I adore Animal Well, but I think what's personally flooring me is Billy Basso's fluency in our language here.

Back when I was a kid I developed an ironic phobia of computer programs acting on their own, and it manifested itself into a hilarious curiosity for games that really screw with player expectations and UI affordances - DDLC, Pony Island, etc. Very few seem to really convey that a jumpscare isn't the thing that's deeply unsettling; it's that gap between expectation of a game's rules and, by extension, the apparent limits. A game has a framework with discrete inputs, display elements, and sound effects, so to knock the framework down is a good "scare" and one that begs the player to wonder what else could happen. But to keep it going the length of a narrative requires deeper understanding of a player's mind once they're on the defensive, the ability to pace the novelties neither too slow nor fast, and the chops to keep that story memorable past a string of funhouse tricks.

Animal Well does it. It's not just that it's a fun puzzle game - I adore it because it's a puzzle game juxtaposing the jaw-drop when an item's depth becomes apparent against horror elements; a pixel art backdrop with worms that have two-sprite animations and bloop sound effects against a smoothly-animated, human-moaning death machine; simple controls and Metroidvania platformer gameplay against ever-increasing gameplay dimensions in a game smaller than many DS cartridges that has to have exhausted everything at this point to a home stretch. Right? No.

I think Basso gets that the childlike wonder we chase in video games is often unsaid, in our heads, or between the CRT scanlines. In his first attempt to show us this, he beautifully said it in pure mechanics rather than through a lick of traditional dialogue. I love it, and I'm gonna devour anything he puts out next.

There was a period of time where like for 3 weeks I was way too hooked with this game and it genuinely somehow ruined my sleep schedule WAY MORE than it already was. Like I couldn't make it passed 10 minutes every day without having the violent urge to check this game and collect whatever gold was waiting for me it was an actual nightmare

This was like last year though and I got over the addiction after realizing during week 3 of me being chained to this game that it was literally ruining my life so please clap and cheer for me guys

I was really getting into The Hip Hop Dance Experience, trying to nail some tricky moves on the screen. I was so focused that when I messed up a particularly difficult sequence, I shouted, "fuckerballs!" My 3-year-old, who was watching me play, immediately parroted back, "fuckewbaws." Dumb kid. Now it's been a week, and the little shit keeps repeating it over and over again. Every time I try to play The Hip Hop Dance Experience again, he chimes in with his new favorite word. My wife hasn't figured out what he's saying yet, but if she does, I'm dead—no joke. One time, when we were younger, she almost strangled me to death for splashing her with beer as a joke at her dad's funeral. The bitch is crazy. I need to figure out how to get my kid to stop saying it before she catches on and I get in serious trouble. Any tips?

Still, despite my recent mishap, I'd give The Hip Hop Dance Experience a solid 8 out of 10. It's a fun and engaging game that really gets you moving and challenges you with its dance routines.

Who knew that to make Super Mario 64 one of the greatest games of all time, all you needed to do was give Mario a shotgun.

Shotgun Mario 64 is exactly what you think it is. You play through Super Mario 64... with a shotgun!
The funny thing about it is, it adds to Mario's moveset so much, it gives you even more options as to how you approach levels!
With the shotgun, not only can Mario shoot enemies and various obstacles, but he can also shoot it while in the air for extra air time. With this, you can make some ridiculous jumps in the levels, and it makes the platforming even more fun!

The shotgun also eases up on collecting the 100-coin stars! Because with the shotgun, you can also shoot enemies that were otherwise undefeatable before, and they drop in more coins! Of course, stuff like the Blue Coin switches are still important to get, but the shotgun really helped make some stages a whole lot easier.
See a Thwomp? Shoot it.
See a Heave-Ho (the trampoline enemy)? Shoot it.
See a Chuck-ya? Shoot it.
See a door? Shoot it!
See a Toad? Well, if he has a star, shoot him, and that star will come to you!

The amount of attention to detail this game has is amazing, and I hope you guys try out the game and see what you find.
Just don't shoot Koopa the Quick... trust me on this one.

Of course, the shotgun trivializes a lot of the challenge that this game has, but I don't really care.

It's funny, the whole joke of "what if Mario had a gun?", I personally don't find that funny, but when you actually make it fun, and even make Mario give a tired expression during the final cutscene of the game, I'm laughing my ass off!

Shotgun Mario 64 was a really funny, but also really fun experience, and I see myself coming back to this game sometime in the future.