2167 Reviews liked by MisterRaisin


Gamer, as of this post we are nearly halfway to 2049 since the turn of the millennium.

What are you most excited for? Personally, I cannot wait to see jet-propelled cars ramping off the hillside roads in my neighborhood and sprouting wings to do somersault barrel rolls, all while at least one of them constantly hits their horn that plays a WAV file of Peppy Hare. Actually, that sounds abominable. My curmudgeon old ass while never get any sleep, what a bleak future. I'm investing in anti-air cannons as we speak for such a horrendous incoming potential situation.

I will not tolerate illegal street racing with a side of wings, consider me an enemy if you cannot wait for this most terrible disturbance of my peace.

This review contains spoilers

Spoilers below for the endings kinda

Yeah stalkers are scary, but do you know what's scarier? This game's frame drops /s

Okay I'm joking, but my only/main complaint with this is the serious performance issues I faced in my play-through. One of the worst frame rate drops I've ever seen at the recommended resolution, and I only managed to get it properly working/playable at one of the lowest resolutions available. Maybe it's just my PC being a pain, but if that bothers you or ruins the experience for you, then I would not recommend this based on my experience.

Besides that, everything else was great and I loved how this game played out through the dialogue and atmosphere. Additionally, I really like how there's no 'good' ending in this game, as all the endings result in death. This game's events is unfortunately a serious reality for many women and more often than not don't end pretty, so I respect the developers for portraying it as such. If you enjoy horror games that don't necessarily rely on supernatural elements and don't mind playing at a lower resolution, then definitely check this one out.

This one's bullshit and I got bored and sadde and ditched it for now. 10-12 all have this really annoying shit with the continues where it's like, while they're infinite now, they always put you back at the start of the level instead of dropping you off where you were like in earlier games. There are frequently times where you'll be stuck in the same spot for a long ass time due to this and it's just not really as enjoyable. You also can't adjust your number of lives in the options anymore for some reason. 10 is still quite manageable despite this but 11 is a hassle and this is just outright not very fun.

During some point in stage 5 I clicked on "redo from beginning" from the pause menu, thinking it'd put me back at the start of the level, and it put me at stage 1. I'll probably be coming back to it later but for now ehh h no thanks

I'm of 2 minds with Another World. One mind that it's literally the pinnacle of the medium and a beautiful piece of art, and another that it's just a poorly made piece of shit.

FFS, it's one of the most legendary games of all time. A master class work in rotoscoping that along with Prince of Persia influenced countless rotoscoped games as well cinematic platformers in the vein of Flashback or Blackthorne.

There are no health bars, no maps, no scores, no equipment, nothing, it's like a real ass chadventure. One of the most immersive games of all time.

The alien buddy is really charming. "Mike Aruba" to you too, buddy.

But at the same time, this shit runs in single digit FPS with framedrops. There are pixel perfect jumps out the ass, especially in the cave which hard filtered me as a kid.

Once one knows what they're doing, the game is only like 20 minutes long and is pretty entertaining to speedrun if nothing else, though perhaps "Another World speedrun" is an oxymoron with how slow-paced the game is.

Also if I'm being truthful, vibes aside the game is rather shallow and there's nothing to its story.

Giving this game 3 stars doesn't feel right. Giving it 5 stars feels right. Giving it 0.5 stars feels right. I generally think the star system is a really good way to get across one's feelings and enjoy using it, but if this isn't an example of how trying to quantify a qualitative experience is silly sometimes, what is?

Anyway countless creators including the likes of Hideo Kojima, Shu Takumi, Suda51, Shinji Mikimi, and Fumito Ueda all took inspiration from this game. If you enjoy any of their works, you owe it to yourself to give this a try. Wouldn't even insist on trying it without save states lol.

GENTLEMEN, START YOUR ENGINES
For the past few months I’ve been obsessing over this game, while not actually sitting down to play through it. Not too long after I had dipped into Ridge Racer Type 4 I became interested in other racing games, and eventually learned about Daytona USA. An iconic arcade racer that- immediately took my interest. The aesthetics, soundtrack, and arcadey nature made me raise an eyebrow. I wanted to try this.
But only now have I actually gone through every track in the original game, after playing the first two levels on and off for about two months. Some of that is due to Daytona’s skill curve. I wouldn’t call it as easy to pick up and play as Ridge Racer. The way drifting works is significantly more difficult to pick up on, and overall this game has more emphasis on needing to learn all of its mechanical intricacies to play properly. That being said, you can still do okay-ish enough by knowing only the basics, even on automatic transmission.
Gameplay wasn’t the main factor for my interest in the game, though. I was much more curious about everything else. Daytona USA is absolutely seeping with SEGA’s energy from the 90’s. Bright blue skies loom over you, as head bopping tunes, some of Sega Sound Team’s pure finest, play in the background. Takenobu Mitsuyoshi’s fantastic vocals for every track elevated the score, and with the Saturn version, made his voice fully realized in the realm of CD quality audio. The soundtrack is mainly comprised of three songs, The King of Speed, Let’s Go Away, and Sky High, all of which are FANTASTIC. Both the arcade and Saturn versions of these tunes are some of my favorites in video games period, reminding me of similar Sega soundtracks like Sonic R and Sonic CD. Just music that is riding with both energy, creativity, and depth.
The 1994 Saturn port of the game isn’t well regarded, and while for good reason too, it’s still very solid. The technical aspects of the game are a bit annoying, such as the drop from 60fps to 20fps, and the limited draw distance being- very apparent. It still plays great, though, and it also introduces the arranged soundtrack. I think considering the crunch development cycle of the Saturn version in order for it to release on launch, alongside the limitations of Saturn hardware compared to Sega’s technical beast that is the Model 2, it’s a lot better than it could’ve been. Nowadays, if you have a PS3 or Xbox, you can just play a modern port of the arcade version for about ten bucks, which isn’t a bad price. There still is merit to trying older versions of the game, but if you had to pick one version… it’s probably that. I still adored the Saturn version, with it’s cute little limitations, shadows and other visual effects simply being a very obvious dithering effect, and overall comfiness. It is worse than the arcade version, but it still offers that core Daytona experience.
Little side tangent, can I just say that the box art for both of the Daytona USA ports on Saturn in Japan look fantastic? The 1994 one is oozing with color, while the Circuit Edition one has this amazing evening sky. The NTSC-U box arts by comparison are… fine, but a little generic.
Daytona USA is a special game to me. It’s not my favorite racing game (I still think RRT4 is), but it’s a game that reminds me of why I loved Sega in the 90’s and 2000’s, especially with those bright blue Sega skies. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully be able to explain what this game’s aesthetics mean to me, but it makes me happy and I guess that’s all that really matters. Please play this, if you can, it’s less than 30 minutes long if you play all the tracks, and it is really fun.

They call it Lester the Unlikely because it’s unlikely that there will ever be a game as peak as it

why are there breasts on the cover

Chiptune soundtrack that was made while the recording studio was engulfed in flames coming with a free 1980s slasher/shooter that involves killing the Russian mafia

If that doesn't sell you then I don't know what will

A lack of sober difficulty balancing makes this a rough first taste-test, but once you sink your teeth in and spend that sweet $3000 check on your first new weapon, it all makes so much sense.

This Game Makes You Feel Like A Ghostbuster.

A skillful game for skillful gamers.

Such skill to get around the terrible and gimped crouching that doesn't register your thumb naturally rolling on the dpad to begin immediately moving so you can evade the erratic patterns of the enemies!

I can't believe you got the alignment of Saturn's rings just right so that the ghosts don't spawn directly on top of you! Yowie wowie! A leprechaun must've jaywalked near your house, because the big guys decided not to constantly take a massive shit on the ladders and camp your ass! WOAH WOAH WOAH! What a fantastic god-fearing moment you had saying your prayers so the Arremers wouldn't swoop at impossible angles! Deary me! The Unicorn bosses didn't decide to charge you constantly?! How much did you pay them?! YA-YA-YOWZA! I commend your ability at kindly asking the jarheaded zombies to not pickpocket your lance and replace it with a torch! GODDAMN! You already knew the dragon in stage 3 was immune to the lance and grabbed the torch prior?! SKILLFUL ARTHUR! CONGRATURATIONS TO YOU ON YOUR ABILITY TO POWER CYCLE THE CONSOLE CORRECTLY!

rolls three dice

YIPPIE YAY! I rolled three sixes! I just beat Ghosts n' Goblins on Nintendo! What a great classic for the system!

turns into bongo cat and slaps the end of the table for the next hour

Btw, the Famicom version doesn't have continues unless you cheat code, Transformers Convoy no Nazo moment. Good fuckin' game. Glad I played three days in a row with a different experience each time. sips chocolate milx of quality

Zool

1992

Do u think girls will like me if i dress and act more like 'Zool'?

Cute LucasArts-inspired point-and-click set across two interactive ''''episodes''''. It's actually the rarest game in my physical Genny collection, somehow the boxed version goes for gangbusters while the loose cart is relatively cheap - or, was cheap, fuckin', retro game store scammers-

Anyway, my family and I never beat this growing up because point and click games (ESPECIALLY from this era) are absurdly obtuse. You have about a dozen possible interaction options for each object on-screen and you build up an inventory of dozens of seemingly-unrelated objects. Also fights against common sense a lot, like there's this one part where you open a fridge and find a note on it, and game logic would make you assume the note is the one thing you're intended to do with the fridge, but no you also gotta use the 'PUSH' function to move it away and grab a bottle cap behind it. And then THAT bottle cap is combined with a battery and a stright of christmas lights to make a flashlight - like, how is a 6-year-old gonna figure that shit out? Luckily with the magic of Adulthood and Internet Access, I got past the swathe of hurdles like this, beat both mysteries and had a fun laugh.

The tone is very authentic to the classic show, bringing back old gags and such. Shaggy's banter with item descriptions and character conversations gets oddly out-of-character sometimes, but it's always laughably absurd and fun. This one part sticks out to me where you have to get a chef to leave a room, and you do that by feeding antacid to Shaggy to make his stomach rumble, which makes the chef run away to the kitchen to make him food. Fucked up. A lot of effort overall into each of the interaction events, cool animations and forced perspectives and the like.

Of the two episodes, I found the first one lacking. It's a typical 'hotel built on top of a cave with hidden treasure' shtick, it's oddly way harder than the second episode and also not as distinct. A lot of time spent doing mundane walks through samey halls and rooms, inspecting samey shelves and whatnot. You get the majority of the items you need in the hotel, but the cave is a linear path, so if you don't have an item you need, you gotta trek all the way back up to find it. Also they do the 'ooooh the hotel is built on ancient Native American burial grounds and the eeeeevil chieftain is gonna haunt yoooouuuu' bit, yeah that's kinda out-of-touch, booooo. Like obviously, this is Scooby Doo storytelling, it's not a chieftain, it's actually a white old guy cosplaying them for money, it's more appropriate that way, but it doesn't change the fact the hotel owner (and plot victim) built their property on burial grounds??? Bro, like, come on, bro.

Second episode is a lot better - it's a carnival setting, there's more interesting environments to explore, more fun NPC's to interact with, the 'Use X on Y' puzzles are easier to parse since the objects are more distinct from each other, and it being more open-ended makes it easier to solve things at your own pace. Just overall way funnier too, got a riot out of the hammer guy and roller coaster bit. The haunted house music also has a bit of 'Iron Man' snuck into it for some reason?????? But ye, this was the episode we spent way more time on as kids, and it was really satisfying to see it through to the end.

If there were more tooltips for what do to when you get stuck this would be a much bigger recommendation, kinda unplayable without a guide otherwise. And yet, still had a blast going through it, definitely a licensed hidden gem. Totally worth the revisit.

The SNES version is by the Star Fox guys, same name different game type deal. It's a platformer/action thing I think? I'll have to play that sometime too.

perspective shot of the house

peter is sitting on the couch, typing on his laptop
Brian: "Hey Peter what are you doing"
Peter: "Oh hey Bri, I'm reviewing our video game on this neat website, it's so freakin' awesome"
Brian: "Sure, but don't you think writing about your own work would come off as a bit narcissistic"
Peter: "No way, internet celebrities do this all the time. Just like my distant cousin and soulslike v-tuber, Ashley Griffin"
cutaway to Ashley Griffin
Ashley Griffin: "Rap isn't real music"

perspective shot of the house

peter is again typing on his laptop, but is now laying stomach-down on the couch and swinging his legs back and forth while twirling his hair through his finger
stewie walks in
Stewie, chuckling: "Well well well, somebody must be making breakfast 'cause I see an egg cracking!"
long pause
the camera gets a close-up of Stewie
Stewie, looking at the camera with a straight face: "That was a gay joke."
another long pause
the doorbell rings
Peter, yelling towards kitchen: "Hey Meg, make yourself useful and get the door"
Meg: audibly makes this noise
Peter: "Shut up, Meg"
meg falls over and remains there for the duration of the scene
lois answers the front door
Lois: "Well, you must be Cyndi Lauper!"
Cyndi Lauper: "Hello, Lois. It is I, Cyndi Lauper, from 'that one music video your parents won't stop streaming to the tv while guests are over' "
peter walks on-screen
Peter: "What's goin' on""
Cyndi Lauper, hands on hips: "Peter, I'm here as a representative of the Lotta Paragraph Games Committee, and we've been receiving some very unhappy messages about your so-called 'review'. Many of our group chat members say it's in poor taste"
Peter: .
Lois, laughing nervously: "Ohhh, I'm sure it can't be that bad,"
Lois, now with a straight face: "Trust me, I know Peter and poor taste"
cutaway to peter sitting in a high chair wearing a bib. Lois is angrily feeding him peas on a spoon
Peter, crying: "I don't wanna! it doesn't even have any Styrofoam marshmallows shaped like my morning cartoons!"
Lois, fuming: "You'll eat it and like it!"
cut back to scene
Cyndi Lauper: "Now, it's perfectly reasonable to be defensive about it, but that's the group consensus going around"
Cyndi Lauper, whispering to Peter: "I even hear them calling it pick-me behavior"
Peter, gasping: "What??? Pick-me behavior??? That's ridiculous! I haven't done anything of the sort! Well, not since high school, anyway"
cut to joe, cleveland, peter and quagmire, in high school, sitting at, each holding a glass of milk
Joe: "My glass is half-full"
Cleveland: "My glass is half-empty"
Peter, doing pensive emoji face: "My glass feels like everyone treats them like a ghost and wishes they would invite them to parties and give them free affection but it's ok it's not really bothered by it it's just venting :("
Quagmire: "My glass is still warm! Giggity giggity giggity giggity!!!"
cut back to scene
Cyndi Lauper: "Well I'm sorry, but if you want to give a better impression to those people, you'll have to put up a new review expressing how you really feel"

shot of the clam

peter, joe, and quagmire are sitting at their booth
Peter, looking at the camera, unimpressed: "Cleveland isn't here with us today so I'm going to say something racially insensitive. Seth will not comment about this for the next 20 years, then reply to a callout tweet about it with the 'clenched teeth oooooh' reaction gif"
Quagmire, looking at Peter: "So Peter, you're saying these guys are upset at your review"
Peter: "Yeah, they say it's not a real review and it's just me bragging about me having my own game"
Joe: "Well Beter, if I were you, I'd update it to include a lengthy manifesto about the idiosyncrasies between our show's cutaway format and the sequential structure of game
Quagmire: "Or you could be like me and name all the characters you wanna bang!"
Peter, excited: "Hey, that's a great idea!"
Joe: "Which idea, the uhh, my idea or the other one"
Peter, now straight-faced: "The other one"
Joe, looking downwards: .

sweeping shot of guadelahara

cut to stewie and brian eating granola and sitting on a rock
Stewie, chewing: "This is the B-plot where we try to make you forget we don't have any other gags about gamer culture"
Brian, also chewing: "I read yaoi during the cutaways"

Two more plot-threads occur over the next 15 minutes, entirely unrelated to the first.

Sparkster is so cool! They tick so many random checkboxes for me!

[X] Anthro
[X] Cool Armor
[X] Jet Pack
[X] Goggles (Goggles are cool)
[X] Expert Mech Pilot

What endeared them so much to me too was actually their idle animation! They look so jovial, they're happpy to be the hero! Sparkster doesn't brood (Ignore the NA cover here), he's anxious to start the day and get to the rescue of their fair princess! He's a gallant jet-propelled knight who's a zoom zoomin' all around and beating up all the bad guys! Mr. Nutz, Punky Skunk and Zero The Kamikaze Squirrel are so angry that Sparkster is actually awesome! They are so mad! Sonic's got nothin' on Sparkster! Except merchandise apparently! What gives Konami? Where's my Sparkster nendoroid , Sparkster YGO cards, Sparkster party accessories, and Sparkster line of clothing?

Ah well, knowing my luck they'd use this look instead, and I'd be an absurdly sad rabbit. Fuck that guy, this is the boy you want.

This game rips, it's Saturday Morning Cartoon down to the empowering theme music that blares from the first stage and goes off after every victory. Sparkster's here to fuck shit up! Those damn pigs won't know what hit'em! You got that patented Konami difficulty, but thankfully they kept themselves in line and didn't Bayou Billy this one. As a matter of fact we actually got all the difficulties unlocked by default over here in NA! Thank the lord above that Konami wasn't dumb enough to make their mascot platformer harder than 90% of the Famicom library, although they were cheeky enough to call Japanese "Normal" the "Children" difficulty and cut you off from the final boss if you played on that. Couldn't help yourselves could you?

Konami: "Nope."

Easily one of the most memorable titles I ever played on the Genesis back then, you know it's memorable when I didn't even own this shit and only played on Sega Channel! I so wish I had owned it growing up though! I would've been a master at it and been Rocket Royalty of some sorts.

You're the coolest Sparkster! Look at him! AAAAA HE'S SO FUCKIN' COOL!!!

ATARI KARTS FANS WHERE ARE YOU??????