Update 9/21/2023: It's been a little over a year since I finished Dragon Quest XI and it's still difficult for me to sum up my thoughts.

There is so much I love about it, from its charming characters to its ambitious scale to its unbelievable post-game content. It has moments that are up there with some of my favorite in the medium. The combat is also easily the best I've experienced in any turn-based JRPG.

But it's also filled with a lot of tedium, and unfortunately, I don't think its world grew much on me. Its traditional approach to old-school JRPG fantasy aesthetics offered few surprises.

Even when I believed parts of it looked pretty, I'm not sure if I ever felt wholehearted adoration for it. That style is what people love about Dragon Quest and I understand that, especially since it cannot be found much anywhere nowadays.

Inside me there is a constant battle reflecting on its most exhausting moments and trying to unravel my true feelings on its visual style. I'm completely comfortable saying I loved this game, yet I also don't know how to feel about it as a whole.

So yeah, I'm still uncertain on my final thoughts. I'm not sure when or if I ever will. It's already been a whole year since completion. When will this game stop haunting me?

Original review is as follows:

It's difficult to assign the entirety of Dragon Quest XI a single score. I've been playing this game on and off over the last three years, and according to my final playtime, that comes out to 113 hours.

DQXI hasn't been an insignificant part of those three years either, and all three acts have come to represent a sort-of lifelong saga for me. When I finally reached end credits, I felt lost.

DQXI had always been there for me, in the background, wanting to be played. Its world and its characters were a part of me, and although I was desperate to finally get the game over with, now that it's actually done, I've come out with mixed feelings.

Am I really ready to say goodbye to this world? To these characters? What does my life look like without Dragon Quest XI sitting in the back of my mind?

It's hard to say. I have plenty of criticisms and there's a good chunk of it that didn't work for me, but there are very few experiences in this medium that I can walk away from and feel this lost.

I think it'll take many months of reflection for me to fully understand my own feelings on it. For now, all I know is that this game is truly special.

In the last 20 hours I have spent 8 of them playing this. I cannot stop. Someone please help me, the smiling mouse knows where I live. The ice-woman has snatched my heart and I'd do anything for her. This land is purgatory and I am its victim.

Update: It's been a single day since I wrote the blurb above. 8 hours has turned into 20 hours. I am sick.

Second update: 20 hours has turned into 40 hours. I'm overwhelmed with despair, for I cannot marry the woman of my dreams. She roams the roads of my village every morning. Her enchanting smile makes me quiver. Her pristine, ethereal dress is carried by the wind itself. Her serene platinum hair is all I dream about. Yet, for all the gardening we've done together, for every moment I was by her side, and for every hurdle we tackled... I'm afraid she cannot be courted. For she is no different than Nature herself; you cannot have her heart, yet she'll never let go of your own.

Oh, shocking... this game is GOOD!

Out of everything I've decided to revisit from my childhood, Maximo is the one that has held up the best thus far. It's absolutely frustrating, incomprehensibly meanspirited, and immensely janky without proper camera movement... buuuut, the stages, enemy designs, general atmosphere, and progression systems are all SUPER memorable.

Weirdly, this game has that Dark Souls style of combat where you're mostly expected to attack once or twice, move out of the way (or block) and wait for your opportunity to strike again. Some enemies have unique ways in which you must dispatch of them (like jumping over them to hit them in the back or crouching to smack at their legs), and there is ZERO tutorials that help you learn how to play, tell you what to do, where to go, or how to deal with foes. It definitely shares that Soulsborne ethos of "until you learn how to be patient, you will never succeed."

It's very much a direct translation of old arcadey game design into a 3D space, and it's a little bizarre, but it works super well! As a kid, I'm pretty sure I never even got past the first fucking level, and there are 30 in this game, so it's safe to say most of my journey was spent playing an entirely new game pretty much!

I really enjoyed how the player improves themselves/progresses. You have a certain number of "locked" slots that allow you to pick up modifiers which can alter how you play. Some let you attack twice, throw your shield like Captain America, have a stronger downwards smash attack, or turn your imbued weapon into an elemental bullet.

You can have as many of these on you at once, and they MASSIVELY change your capabilities in dealing with certain enemy types. You can swap around which ones are in your locked slots, and you get more of these permanent slots every time you defeat a boss. It heavily encourages playing well and it makes loss even more frustrating, as anything that isn't in your locked slot gets lost.

Certain attacks, like a downward strike that causes a shockwave of swords to appear around the player, are vital in determining your victory. I really enjoyed getting these little buffs and bonuses that changed what I'd do, and I love that by the end of the game, they just get stronger and stronger. One in particular causes enemies to get completely knocked backwards when you use your shield and it is SO USEFUL.

You also collect gold, spirits, extra lives, keys to unlock chests (or doors), elemental weapons, armor, and maybe more throughout a level. There's TONS of collectibles to encourage exploration. The thing is, you can ABSOLUTELY get away with running past tons of enemies (which I sometimes did), but there are so many alluring secrets that it's genuinely hard to resist checking as many nooks and crannies as possible. Even then, I rarely got above 80% level completion on any levels, it was usually around 60-70% SOMEHOW, even though I felt I combed through them quite thoroughly. Goes to show how many secrets there are, I guess!

The final region is actually my favorite, as it's an awesomely- designed labyrinthian castle with great hedge mazes, creepy dungeons, gorgeous regal interiors, and dope ass courtyards that evoked a super solid medieval aesthetic. But also like, why is that place is such a nightmare to explore? You need a certain number of keys to proceed to each level, which kinda forces you to go back to older levels, replay them, and stock up on keys. It's fucked up!

All the areas in general are well designed and evoke different feelings. Whether it be an old graveyard, a frozen over wasteland, a dense swamp, or hell itself, each feels really solid and every level does a good job striking its own "idea" within that aesthetic. It's an awesome cartoony world to look at and explore. And it's great that the enemies adapt to the regions they're in. It's not just skeletons over and over.

Overall, I really like Maximo. It's genuinely quite good and although it is VERY frustrating, there's tons to appreciate here. Also, that final fucking boss??? I C O N I C.

Wow! Revisiting childhood games sure is fun, but I expected a Spongebob tie-in to be way better than this? Immensely bad call on my part to make the worst one in this franchise be the first I return to.

So many assets here clash visually. Spongebob's house looks empty and each piece of furniture feels like it doesn't belong, which should've been my first signal to dip. Leaving Spongebob's house was really no better, every single place out there looked awful and going into the Krusty Krab was bizarre. I felt like I was in a Creepypasta-version of the world where SOMETHING just doesn't feel right about it even though LOGICALLY it is MOSTLY correct.

The visuals improve a lot after the first area. Downtown is kinda cute looking, the construction site is admittedly detailed well enough, and the high rise apartments had a lot things going on at once that made it feel more lively. I also give this game a point for at least TRYING to cultivate unique objectives. Having to deliver crabby patties to different apartments is a fine idea, even if the execution is utter shit.

What really brings Revenge of the Flying Dutchman down is the unbearable platforming and how awful Spongebob feels to control. It's a fucking nightmare, I hating moving through this game, not only are you omega slow but all of your jumps feel off and having to switch between the costumes to do different objectives is exhausting. There's nothing dynamic to do and all the jumps are painfully easy. Even if it was meant to be an "explore" type of game, that'd feel more justified if the environments were worth exploring.

The collectibles are also pretty unexciting. You get like a really shitty puzzle mini-game if you collect all the letters in a level and it's not fun. There's nothing fun to do here, the hour I spent felt like an eternity. Hoping the other Spongebob games are better!

Hello! Notorious monster lover and huge Kaiju fan here (yes, I've seen every Godzilla film). I was pretty excited when I heard about Kaichu! It honestly seemed UNBELIEVABLY tailored to my tastes, so it breaks my heart to say that I just don't like this game.

I only gave it 30 minutes (which was a single playthrough) and found it to be really shallow. You just run around, select a location, and answer questions. There's nothing else to do. All the dialogue is narrated by a couple of newscasters so it never feels like I can actually connect with the personality of the Kaiju I'm romancing. Having a good date also isn't rewarding when the same kiss animation plays every time. I wish there were unique drawings tossed up on screen whenever you're victorious, or at least semi-frequently enough to keep things spiced up. Or maybe just different animations that showcase more interactions. It's just not satisfying at the moment.

I've played lots of dating sims where there's some sort of system at play to attain stats or interact with other elements of the world. In this sense, there's so little here and it's honestly the least gripping dating sim I've tried :(

It gets points for being cute to look at. I'm also not a huge fan of the Kaiju designs themselves, they're funky looking but not in a way that appeals to me. I did enjoy Seadora's design which is why I romanced them first. They're very cute and I actually did enjoy learning tidbits about their royal oceanic past!

I am sadly disappointed in this game but it's hard to be upset because it is rather inoffensive. It's just cute Kaiju dating goofiness, so I don't regret buying it even though dislike it. The developers deserve the money.

Zone of the Enders is sometimes really awesome. It's a shameless love letter to cheesy mecha anime (it even features a similarly exhausting narrative) and its most exciting fights are insane. When DEEP into a boss battle (especially the final one), it felt like I was receiving the slightest, PTSD-infused glimpse of FromSoftware's upcoming Armored Core. It's really, omega cool.

I actually really enjoy every boss fight, but there aren't many moments like that. The rest of the game has you flying over a city, going down to fight a few of the same machine-types and occasionally rescue civilians. This part of the game is okay, although it does get a little tiring battling the same stuff over and over. Even though the game is only five hours, I kind of expected a game of this length to do more with its limited playtime. I wanted more bosses, more unique areas, more enemy types. There's a decent bit of backtracking here, which is a little strange for a game so small.

As far as the combat goes, it's a lot of fun albeit a little shallow. There are a few unique moves and attacks to use, but you have most of them from the very start and you're generally gonna find yourself using the same things over and over. There are lots of special limited ammo weapons you can pull out, but MOST of them are too weak to matter. Only until late game, when you get the giant spear you can toss from a mile away, the laser, the water bomb that follows people, and the giant bouncing ball that will shoot up onto an enemy does it feel like stuff gets exciting. I swear to god the Sniper does absolutely nothing. What is the purpose of it outside of that one story moment???

Also speaking of anime awesomeness, I love that enemies will clash their giant mecha blades with you when you melee attack at the same time as them. It looks so friggin' cool. ALSO, that soundtrack? Holy moly. I legit bopped my head uncontrollably during certain bossfights lmao (and during some fights in general). It's also neat that there's an idle soundtrack while running around and a specific modified version of that song when a battle begins. It gives the environment some life.

Calling this story "bad" feels wrong, as it doesn't even feel like there's anything here ? There are parts of it I enjoyed, particularly the growing kindness of Jehuty's A.I. and its relationship with the boy. But beyond that, this script is empty as hell. I wouldn't mind the story being "empty" if cutscenes weren't such a major part of it. The narrative goal here is that you need to deliver the mech you found to a group of rebels. That's it. It's really simple, but for some reason, there's SO much dialogue and it accomplishes nothing. Like I said, the only thing that actually happens is we see Jehuty's A.I. bond with the protagonist. That's really it, and then the game kinda just ends. We defeat one of the enemies without understanding their goals whatsoever and getting 0 knowledge on the intricacies of this world and its politics. The game feels like it covers the first cour of a 52-episode anime. It's really strange!

Zone of the Enders also has a neat visual style. Flying over a dark city torn asunder by an invasion embedded within a space station with this giant, bright glowing tower in the middle is an immensely memorable setpiece. I love that the player circles this big part of the space station and pushes their way through it, it's a real potent visual. When I played ZoE as a kid, the world was so interesting to me. Looking back on it was like some ethereal magic, and although I wish ZoE held up better than it did, it still holds up pretty well. Fun game! I recommend it :)

It's hard to hate Breakin' da Rules, mostly because the concepts here are admirable. It treats each level like an episode of the cartoon, and it's chockfull of different environments and ideas.

In one, you take the place of Crimson Chin's sidekick and must return his superpowers after they're stolen by his three arch nemesis'. In another, you're trapped in a VR video game and must save your friends from damnation. In another, you run through ancient Egypt, ancient Greece and medieval Britain to restore their original history after Vicky messes it up.

It's all really well done as an "idea." And not to forget, all the graphic design elements are well made. The menus look nice, the script is written like these are actual fairly odd parents episodes, and each environment is genuinely kinda cool to look at.

But Breakin' da Rules is a great example of how a good game on paper does not mean it'll end up being fun. There is almost nothing enjoyable to do here. Every mini-game is lifeless, the platforming feels stiff, the controls are clunky, and exploration is exhausting.

It's actually a shame that I feel this way about it, because it's a game I genuinely do appreciate for what it set out to do and it really does feel like a full effort attempt to bring Fairly Odd Parents into video game format. This game is full of life, it's just poorly made.

I'm hesitant to call Vampire Night bad, but it's really disappointing, especially with how much I adored it as a kid. What once transported me to a grim and gothic but beautiful snowy world revolving around awesome vampire hunters and their evocative struggle to coexist turned out to have some of the most baffling, hilarious, nonsensically stifled and pointless dialogue I've seen in a hot minute.

The environments are mostly cool, with the ethereal and practically blinding (but in a cool way) semi-final level being the most memorable parts of the game for me. All of the bosses are fun and have some cool ideas attached to them, especially insofar as aesthetic goes. I like that the core of those fights comes to "shoot them fast enough so they don't use their crazy ass attack on you." There's a good reason why I have such fond memories of this game's world, as it has standout moments that push its good ideas to the forefront.

But when I wasn't facing a boss, it's hard to say I had fun. It's hard to put my finger on it, especially due to my limited experience with light gun games, but I didn't feel much when running through this world shooting shit. Like I said, I could appreciate the cool environments on display, whether I was running through an old Victorian town or a nightmarish tower adorned by metal halls and grates as hot magma peered through certain facets of the level. I do wish these inspired visual moments were more plentiful, as I didn't get much joy out of the light gun action. Just having a pistol is kinda boring? You can't really do much else but spam it, and when I was a kid I vividly remember having other weapons (which is only available in the special mode).

Beyond the game itself being just whatever, there's not much game here after you get through the campaign (which can be beaten in like an hour). The secondary "special" gamemode (which is where most of the playtime probably comes in) just forces you to replay the game over and over again to unlock different items and weapons. I remember having a lot of fun doing this as a kid, but now? Redoing these immensely average levels was absolutely exhausting and it quickly soured the game for me.

I just kinda wish there was more here. The base campaign isn't bad but the special components that make this a full game are not implemented well and don't utilize the content in a compelling way. It's an attempt to incentivize replaying the game over and over, which does not sound fun imo.

Shrek meant a lot to me as a kiddo and still does, although that's mostly limited to the first two films. I had seen both a hundred times throughout my childhood and vividly recall pretty much every scene and every beat. I did the watch the other two Shrek's but I don't remember much, outside of a couple moments from the third one. I could not tell you a single thing about the fourth tbh.

The quality of a movie-tie-in game isn't determined by the film it's based on, but it honestly helps a lot when the developers have a better foundation to work with. It's also easier to feel attached to what's presented when you actually care about the world. Shrek 2 is a decent example of why, as my fondness for the film made exploring those portions of the game more enjoyable.

Otherwise, this is just a collection of goofy mini-games and gimmicks inspired by what was popular in gaming at the time, stitched together with a four-player beat-em-up standing in as its base. Shrek 2 isn't particularly well-made but its competent enough to be enjoyable with friends. Most of the levels are visually distinct and the short sections that have you do silly little things diversify the gameplay pretty decently (whether that be a mini-game as Fiona where you sing to birds, a 2D platformer as puss-in-boots, or Crash Bandicoot-esque running towards the screen sections).

Playing this with a friend certainly enhanced my opinion on it. I played the first three or four levels alone, but after jumping in with someone else, I had a better time. It's easier to get into the ridiculousness of it all, as there are tons of little issues you can't help but laugh at.

As a franchise, Shrek has always poked fun at classic fairy tales, and I think the game does a decent job putting all of that together. Each of the levels utilize different aesthetics and it's quite nice, whether that be a silly open kingdom portion where you can actually get stars like GTA or a dark forest with witchy vibes.

The final three or four levels are pretty impressive design-wise. They're genuinely fun and have some cool ideas. I quite liked the darker tone towards the end, as going through a dark dungeon with the big bad wolf to blow walls down and murder spiders was cool. Also was a fan of the potion shop section, as it legit looked kinda ethereal in a very surreal way and the color palette was nice and vibrant with this bizarre neon aesthetic. Also the final boss was fun, altho very weirdly made!

Overall, Shrek 2 ain't bad at all. It is kinda weird that I don't really remember this game from my childhood all that well, perhaps outside of the first level. I'm like 90% sure I played it as a kid, though.

A well-made Crash-clone that's far shorter than I'd like but does a good job ensuring most of what it presents is tight fun. Although the first world's forest environment is unexciting, Goin' Quackers VERY quickly turns up the heat by taking players through Duckburg!

Honestly not surprised this is the part of the game I most vividly remember, as its urban streets, colorful buildings and cartoony enemies are all immensely cute. It encapsulates that old animation vibe really well and the game doesn't stop there.

The next world is an AWESOME surreal array of endless haunted hallways and rooftops. It legit feels like a fever dream, it clearly makes no sense for these buildings to be as continuous as they are but it just enhances the vibe tenfold. The final level is a bit too Crash Bandicoot for me (would've preferred if it continued with the Donald Duck vibes), but it's still super fun and all the levels are tightly designed.

Not much else to say here. This game is worth the time and I'm glad it has held up :)

Yeek. It's unfortunate to have revisited this and come out with nothing of note after an hour of playtime. It's possible my distaste is linked to the initial property not being particularly good to begin with, but the gameplay loop here is abysmal and the visuals are equally poor. And while playing this, I'm pretty convinced I barely played it as a kid either? I only remember the first three or four levels and pretty much nothing else. I guess even kiddo me thought this was trash, I dunno.

Over the Hedge is also probably slightly more enjoyable with a friend. It's pretty much just a mindless spamfest gameplay wise and there are no levels to explore. They're broken up into these little sections where you just fight enemies and there's rarely anything to see or look around in. And the subject matter of the film forces the environments into a very narrow structure. It's just suburban streets, house backyards and middle-class homes throughout lol.

Genuinely had trouble latching onto a single thing I enjoyed here. Every character's moveset is also identical outside of some visual differences. Game sucks.

I was really worried about revisiting Minority Report, mostly due to the awful reviews it received from critics after its launch. But honestly? Not bad at all.

There are lots of things that stand out about Everybody Runs, but mostly that the ragdoll physics are quite good. Your primary weapon is some sort of blowback rifle that you can use to toss enemies around. There are rooftop levels where you can shoot people off the side of ledges, which is genuinely jolly fun. You even have a selection of melee combos you can execute, or if you're really not in the mood to learn those, you can just pick people up and toss them off of roofs. Or just throw them into each other.

The OST is also an absolute fuckin' banger. Easily the best part of this game. Particularly the main menu theme, Sprawl Riot, and Danny Witwer are great tracks. The opening of Sprawl Riot is unforgettable and when it plays in game you just kind of have no choice but to be taken over by vibes and fuck everyone up.

Everybody Runs is also at its best with cheats on. If you intend to play, use cheats. Give yourself infinite ammo, extra armor, all the weapons, and an easy way to regain health. You can try to play this game legit if you want, but it's honestly quite hard. There are certain levels that I could not have done without cheats.

It's also hilarious that in this game, you're playing a character who's trying to prove they're not going to murder anyone... while simultaneously murdering hundreds upon hundreds of thugs, swat, and future crime police by blowing them to bits with rocket launches, tossing them off of roofs, or shotgunning them in the face. Ahh yes, I'm very innocent thank you.

Also, it's really funny that this is like a B-movie-ification of Minority Report. It's like an alternate universe version where this movie was the most schlocky shit imaginable. It turns a thought provoking science fiction masterpiece into a shitty action movie full of one-liners. It's genuinely bizarre.

Overall, the game ain't bad. It has a lot going for it that take what would have been otherwise a completely unremarkable game and make it a mix of so-bad-it's-good and ridiculous fun.

Even after all these years, Looney Tunes: Back in Action retains the charismatic atmosphere that enchanted me as a child. The cutscenes are occasionally funny, each area is diverse enough to justify running around and clamoring for secrets, and the aesthetic is admittedly quite cute.

It's too bad this is a poor game. I found myself bored throughout a decent few parts, as the platforming is unexciting, the combat doesn't have much to offer, and the mini-games are bizarre (even though they're amusing conceptually). I do enjoy the exploration and there are definitely moments where chasing the monkeys was actually quite thrilling.

Also, this is just Ape Escape. That's like... super strange, right? Regardless, my fondness for this game hasn't gone away at all. I still enjoy the atmosphere and aesthetic (even though the sound design and constant voice lines are a bit irksome), but the game itself is kinda bad.

I keep trying to write this review but I am never sure how to articulate the words to express how magical Arx Fatalis feels to explore.

This is not a game I appreciated immediately, nor is it something I understood the potency of 15 hours in. But days after completing Arx Fatalis, I cannot stop thinking about every floor of this sprawling, claustrophobic labyrinth.

It is Arkane Studios' most freeing immersive sim and has the only magic system in this medium that actually made me feel like a wizard. It is full of little issues but I cannot recommend it enough.