2005
Furry Halo
Back in the primordial haze of 2002 my parents offered me a choice between this and Mega Man Battle Network
I picked this because I had a crush on Trunks, and I still have never played MMBN
It's been almost 20 years and even with almost the entire chronicle of my life playing out since then, with all my failures and foibles following this prologue to my story, I would still rank choosing this over MMBN as my life's worst decision
Don't
I picked this because I had a crush on Trunks, and I still have never played MMBN
It's been almost 20 years and even with almost the entire chronicle of my life playing out since then, with all my failures and foibles following this prologue to my story, I would still rank choosing this over MMBN as my life's worst decision
Don't
1986
Terrible, but eminently memorable due to its bizarre Tower of Druaga logic
1984
Unlike in the NES version, you can shoot the dog
Can I sing a song for you? When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's amoré. When an eel lunges out, and he takes a bite of your snout, that's a-moray! Get it? A moray eel? Hee hee hee hee hee! I say the funny.
[Intro]
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no, (Yo yo yo)
Oh no you didn't!
[Verse 1]
Sucker tried to play me, but you never paid me, never (Oh no you didn't!)
Payback is a-comin', you will be runnin' forever (Oh no you didn't!)
Until I get my vengeance, I will never end this mayhem (Oh no you didn't!)
I'm a mercenary, you ain't got a prayer you owe me (Oh no you didn't!)
[Chorus]
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Didn't you oh no
You didn't pay me what you owe me
So now it's over for you
[Break]
(Yeah.)
(Yo yo, check it out.)
(Oh no you didn't!)
[Verse 2]
First you tried to trap me, then you bust a cap in my ass (Oh no you didn't!)
Such humiliation will bring annihilation at last (Oh no you didn't!)
It will be delicious when I get vicious tomorrow (Oh no you didn't!)
There's no second chances, you will do the dance of sorrow (Oh no you didn't!)
[Chorus]
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Didn't you oh no
You didn't pay me what you owe me
So now it's over for you
[Break]
(What a fool.)
(Alright c'mon,)
(Oh no you didn't!)
[Bridge]
Betta' watch your back, boy, keep runnin'
This ain't just a game, I'll never stop comin'
I got my arsenal
I put out the call
And when I'm finished ya'll
You'll be a rag doll
[Verse 3]
Fool tried to diss' me, now you're gonna wish you were dead (Oh no you didn't!)
After I deliver, your blood will be a river of red (Oh no you didn't!)
Better be aware when no one's there to defend you (Oh no you didn't!)
So many ways to kill, it's going to be a thrill to end you (Oh no you didn't!)
[Chorus]
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Didn't you oh no
You didn't pay me what you owe me
So now it's over for you
[Outro]
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no you...(explosion)
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no, (Yo yo yo)
Oh no you didn't!
[Verse 1]
Sucker tried to play me, but you never paid me, never (Oh no you didn't!)
Payback is a-comin', you will be runnin' forever (Oh no you didn't!)
Until I get my vengeance, I will never end this mayhem (Oh no you didn't!)
I'm a mercenary, you ain't got a prayer you owe me (Oh no you didn't!)
[Chorus]
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Didn't you oh no
You didn't pay me what you owe me
So now it's over for you
[Break]
(Yeah.)
(Yo yo, check it out.)
(Oh no you didn't!)
[Verse 2]
First you tried to trap me, then you bust a cap in my ass (Oh no you didn't!)
Such humiliation will bring annihilation at last (Oh no you didn't!)
It will be delicious when I get vicious tomorrow (Oh no you didn't!)
There's no second chances, you will do the dance of sorrow (Oh no you didn't!)
[Chorus]
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Didn't you oh no
You didn't pay me what you owe me
So now it's over for you
[Break]
(What a fool.)
(Alright c'mon,)
(Oh no you didn't!)
[Bridge]
Betta' watch your back, boy, keep runnin'
This ain't just a game, I'll never stop comin'
I got my arsenal
I put out the call
And when I'm finished ya'll
You'll be a rag doll
[Verse 3]
Fool tried to diss' me, now you're gonna wish you were dead (Oh no you didn't!)
After I deliver, your blood will be a river of red (Oh no you didn't!)
Better be aware when no one's there to defend you (Oh no you didn't!)
So many ways to kill, it's going to be a thrill to end you (Oh no you didn't!)
[Chorus]
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Oh no you didn't
Didn't you oh no
You didn't pay me what you owe me
So now it's over for you
[Outro]
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no you...(explosion)
THE BUCKBOARD'S OUT OF CONTROL!
IT'S HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THE RAVINE!
IT'S HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THE RAVINE!
What in the sam hill
1993
Remember that one?
1994
The most unremarkably average beat-em-up of unremarkably average beat-em-ups
Notable for being a PS1 launch title in Japan, if you had just bought a PS1 in late 1994 and only the launch titles are available, this isn't the worst choice, but Ridge Racer and Parodius are both better buys
Notable for being a PS1 launch title in Japan, if you had just bought a PS1 in late 1994 and only the launch titles are available, this isn't the worst choice, but Ridge Racer and Parodius are both better buys
2015
A 190-proof bottle of distilled platforming, admirable in its atomic perfection but possibly too pure to drink
pingas
1983
Missing a level, if you want a good DK on NES experience play Original Edition, it's got the pie factory
Noby Noby Boy wore it better in every possible way
2015
It's impossible to play now due to the servers being dead so you'll just have to take my word for it, but the online multiplayer fucking slapped
EDIT: for a more thorough take, check out my review for the reincarnation of its multiplayer, RockShot, which was only online for three months
EDIT: for a more thorough take, check out my review for the reincarnation of its multiplayer, RockShot, which was only online for three months