1235 Reviews liked by Squigglydot


I want to preface that all of this may sound very unfair and nitpicky but please let me be flippant, this game is naff. Farming is a game genre that, much like the real-world application, is essentially all about math. I never did homework at school, and I don’t plan to start in my mid-twenties. https://i.imgur.com/P28ClZe.png
Hundred Days is the first victim of my Post-Sakuna: Of Rice & Ruin depression. Sakuna singlehandedly revitalised my interest in the farming genre because it was absolutely radiating in a level of reverence for its chosen craft that I’d otherwise never seen in a game of its kind. It took great strides to make sure that not only does the player have to partake in every step in the ricemaking process by hand, it also hid away much of the controllable and uncontrollable variables that contribute to the quality of the harvest until you finally hit that year-end stat page. It forced me to have a steady hand, examine my environment carefully and learn which cues require which actions to counteract. After handing the player a new tool, it took the time to explain their importance in the overall process, as well as a little of their history; each cog in the cultivation machine is shown to be as important as the other. Greedily, I think I NEEDED all of this to care.

I was hopeful about Hundred Days because it focuses entirely around the art and business of winemaking, to a level seemingly more detailed than Sakuna! The problem is that the very distinct dropoff in reverence to the craft almost hit me like a wet sponge - I’m willing to believe that the developers crafted this game out of genuine interest and passion for winemaking, but absolutely none of that verve made it to the final cut. You’re looking at your vineyard empire from a hot air balloon that only seems to become more distant as your empire expands. The higher up my perspective and scale of my empire got, the less the details mattered, beautiful fields of grapevines slowly camouflaging themselves into mere data points on a spreadsheet. The tutorialisation is as shoddy as the story, I barely knew how to navigate the UI, how to find all of the upgrades let alone know what each of them even did. Many of which are insanely expensive, so you just need to grind away to receive incremental boosts to production. Everything you can click on just brings up a new window filled with fucking numbers and percentages. Fun stuff man. Go outside and touch rice.

The rub is that the game starts with a Stardew Valley-esque “boring office life” introductory sequence, used to introduce the player to the basics of the core gameplay loop. Basically, placing cards with specific functions down onto your field grid. It then sends you to your winemaker’s paradise, an idyllic vineyard somewhere in the Tuscany hills or whatever, before making you do the exact same card-based grind. Guess the message here is that even your life’s dream can become a desk job if you aren't willing to give it some respect.

Incredibly fun app - might be one I’ve had the best time with since the “Golden Years” of the Angry Birds, Plants vs Zombies, and Cut the Rope kinda phone-gaming era.

Part Time UFO was made and published by HAL Laboratory (of Kirby fame) wanting to focus on games made specifically for smartphones in mind. This is why I think the game works so well, and why its reminiscent of the games that I remember most fondly in smartphone gaming. Part Time UFO is made with the phone in mind, and tried its best to focus on making a game that worked with a smartphone’s features (touch screen, portability, etc) rather than fight against them. Phone gaming at this point has a bit of a bad name for itself, having mostly devolved into however cheaply a person can make a game that can quickly take a player’s money, infamously cover the gameplay in ads, and force the player away with pop-up after pop-up of MTX requests.

Paying around $4 in exchange for a fun game experience is extremely worth it in my opinion, with Part Time UFO costing around that. Early smartphone games usually only offered a demo for free, but a very kind $5 or less price for the full game. A cheap price for hours of uninterrupted fun, and for good games, too! Games made with the intention for the player to work with the smartphone’s touch and lack of buttons, rather than fight against it.

That is where I had to dock points from Part Time UFO though, as while the game clearly is well-intentionally made to be a phone game, and is leaps and bounds ahead of many other current smartphone games, it still has to rely on covering parts of the screen with a joystick and button. People often say that this game is a better experience on Switch, and I can believe it. Even though the game was originally made just for phones, the way they put a touch control joystick and button right in front of you immediately has the player start to fight against the phone’s capability, rather than work with it. It results in the player desperately wishing they had a physical joystick and button, which the Switch can happily provide them.

Even with that as a bit of a glaring knock-back, I do really love Part Time UFO, and find myself quickly losing my time when I open it up. It has quite a bit to offer, and has great replayability in allowing players to retry levels to get a perfect score, very in tune to how early smartphone games work in eating up your time. I really do recommend this game to anyone looking for a good find for their phone! It’s $4 and I think I’ve already spent 3 hours on it, and I’m not even done! The Switch version probably controls better, but it’s also double the price. I’m guessing they add more stuff or something to reason the price, but also maybe not! It is Nintendo after all lmao.

Oh well, check Part Time UFO out, you’ll have a blast. It’s cute, charming, and fun - and will absolutely eat all my battery away when I take the train.

3.5/5

This review contains spoilers

In a game, let alone continuity, lousy with sharp, confrontational artistic direction, it’s one as simple as the back of the box that continues to work its way through me. It’s the illustration of Kusabi, Sakura, and Kosaka, in particular - Sakura’s exaggerated frown extends out of the image towards you while Kusabi and Kosaka converse around her. If you’ve played the game, you’re aware that this configuration can only happen in the events proceeding the finale (a massive torpedo-spoiler on the back of the box, funny!). By extension, this also means that the illustration is, to whatever degree, a reflection on the status quo after case#5:lifecut, i.e. the chapter of the game where everything boils over, a majority of the Transmitter cast straight up dies, and radical actions by the hands of the remaining cast occur.

I love this illustration for a few reasons - for one, Takashi Miyamoto captures a sense of mundanity so well. In game, you’re never really able to bear witness to a Kusabi at peace in ordinary life, and here he’s beautifully human in his pose - well-earned after his arc through the game. Secondly, through that same focus on the mundane lies a commentary on the dynamics these characters are engaged in. I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to imply that the gender dynamics put forth here can be seen as a disappointing reminder that leaving Kusabi (love ‘em as I do) as the sole surviving veteran of the HCU means that the same bitterness which ostracized Hachisuka, possibly enabling something within to give in to her inevitable death-filing and appearance as Ayame, is likely still in the air. But these observations pale, in my opinion, to the context.

As she continues ascending the 24th Ward’s crime department, after bearing witness to the very operation that almost(/successfully?) doomed her and the player character to a life of artificial personhood, and after witnessing the takedown of the two major antagonists of the game, Nezu and (eventually) Uminosuke, she still frowns at us, the player. Why? I thought danwa was a happy ending.

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TSC is one of few games I can think of that really eludes simple genre description. Sure, it’s a crime procedural, up until it isn’t. It’s a conspiracy thriller... in spots. It’s Lynchian surrealist dystopia? Alright we’re just gonna say words now, I guess? The only thing that comes to mind for descriptors is, like, slipstream fiction, which, given 25W references seminal proto-Cyberpunk novella The Girl Who Was Plugged In, seems apt enough to settle on. I won’t even evoke the P-word. The one that rhymes with “toast auburn.”

But really, this thought exercise is all just a veiled move to get you to wonder about the limitation of genre fiction as it applies to TSC, and poke at its aspirations. For this to be a standard crime procedural, you’d expect the HCU to... function in some capacity? And conspiracy thriller’s a no-go considering the weight that spirituality and all other intangibles have here, in my opinion. The way I’ll continue from this point to put it is thus: the Mikumo 77 incident, the murder of Kamui by the underworld factions, and the ensuing Shelter Kids policy reverberate through the story on many different frequencies, and the effect of it all is so bleak that only genre convention can make the discussion palatable as fiction. But it doesn’t always cover it: the melancholic, ambling work of Tokio through Placebo, the brain-swelling conflict of information in Transmitter, I think both serve as a reminder that there’s no easy out from underneath the sin of government control. It’s no surprise, I guess, that the symptoms get much, much worse when we return to Kanto in The 25th Ward.

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Kamuidrome thru danwa (and the equivalent reports from Placebo’s end) are so dizzying and hard to come to terms with that I have literally shaved my head since first playing this game. This is actually true! I have death-filed!

That said, I feel like an essential piece of advice I could give someone who’s in for their first time is to enact judgment on the information based on who and when it’s coming from. This is easy enough in some cases - I think most people are primed from birth to hate pedo-fascist Nakategawa enough to not mind his words. But even fan-favorite Kusabi, for instance... this entire game is a slow fade-to-white for him as he unlearns an entire ideology of criminality equating plague, one he’s enforced so much with violence, not just as a cop, but as a particularly fucked up cop. In the beginning, I wouldn’t blame you for sticking with the competent elder authority of the cast, but if the ending moments of Parade don’t convince you to question the prior chapters, then I don’t know what will. The state of this world can be figured out with relative certainty as long as you keep track of where you are in the game’s web.

Though deeply confusing (& not helped by a localization that I can only describe as “challenging” (no shade to Grasshopper James btw, I can only imagine trying to piece this together 😭)), this game masterfully tiers up its information in a way that makes the trek through the underbelly of the 24th Ward feel so uniquely haunting. While certain aspects (the bench-warming faction war at the batting center comes to mind) do feel a bit bizarre and maybe even underdeveloped as words on a (cyber)page, the thematic tapestry of this game is exceptionally rich, even among other lauded-for-thematic-richness games. I’m a lifelong MGS fan and even I have to admit that after coming to conclusions confident enough to type words about, I think we might be seeing a lunch-eating of unseen proportions.

"The world once shaped by the great will has come to an end.
It was a foregone conclusion. All is preordained.

If in spite of this you still have the will to fight, now is your chance to prove it."

This is a particularly difficult game for me to write about because I want to greedily compare and contrast every ballhair with the first title’s, just so I can diagnose exactly where my issues with it lie - why a game that is functionally so similar in DNA to one of my all-timers doesn’t hit the mark. Personally speakin, the long & short of it is that Dragon’s Dogma 2 is something of a sidegrade to the original title that distances itself too much from what I found spectacular about it to begin with.

Possibly my favourite element of Dragon’s Dogma 2 is one that could be felt from the moment you first gain control of your character. There’s a palpable heft to character locomotion, complimented by the multilayered textuality of the land itself & the threats of wrong turns into the unknown or slipping off a slick cliffside to your untimely demise - it leans wonderfully far into the concept of traversal being a battle unto itself. As was the case with DD1, being tasked to travel from safety to a marker deep into the fog of war is never a simple request. Goblins, ogres, harpies, and whoever else decides to grace you with their presence are waiting in the bushes to act as regular speedbumps to be carefully considered and planned for accordingly.

Where DD2 slips at this for me is in how little it reciprocates for what it demands. This is a sequel that has ballooned itself in scale to a dizzying near 5x the original map’s size, but hasn’t developed the enemy roster nor the environmental design acumen to make use of it. Take for instance that DD2 has fifty caves strewn around its tectonic world map, and I don’t think a single one is as impressive as one that could be found in DD1. Where the caves/dungeons in DD1 were concerned, there would be special objectives relevant to the overall story, a person you were going there on behalf of who represented a town or group, they would unlock shortcuts for faster world traversal and upon repeat visits you’d notice the location’s role in the world change for the denizens. They would be densely designed so that every corner was worth being scanned to the best of your ability for pickups, shortcuts, levers, climbing points - lending to the almost DnD-esque adventure core followed passionately by the game’s design. Hell, the locales would generally sound and look different too, built to purpose so as to become plausible enough to justify their utility in the world and lend credence to exploring them.

Compared to that, DD2 has shockingly little of this. Its myriad nondescript caves wallhugging the world could scarcely be five prefab rooms tied into a loop to house a few potions, or some equipment you could find at a store. No unique gimmicks or trials, only populated by a handful of gobbos and maybe a midboss as a treat. I feel that Dragonsbreath Tower was supposed to act as something of a callback to Bluemoon Tower from DD1 - it being a perilous journey across a handful of biomes towards a crumbling hanging dungeon that houses a flying peril, but it’s so bereft of pomp and confidence. A truly memetic core routine that made me think less of adventures and more of waypoints and upgrade materials. I want to use a Neuralyzer to remove BotW shrines from the face of the earth. And god why is none of the new music good.

DD2 implies at a big story, but to me it felt like nothing came together. I had no idea who anyone was supposed to be beyond Brant, Sven and Wilhelmina. DD1’s progression from Wyrmhunt -> Investigate the Cult -> Kill Grigori -> Deal with the Everfall -> Confront the Seneschal was great, and throughout all of that you kept up with characters like the King and got to see his downfall. The writing and delivery of the cult leader and Grigori himself far surpasses anything in DD2, despite having very similar subjects. Outpaced by DD1 in setpieces and pop-offs and thematics. There's barely any antagonistic people in the game and once you get to Battahl it feels as though the game trails off like it’s got dementia.

It's a completely different kind of design that, sure, encourages player freedom - but communicates it in this really loose way that I just don't care about. I spent much of my playthrough having no idea what I was doing besides wiping off the blank smudges of world map. What expounds this problem is that quest discoverability is astonishingly low here, oftentimes made worse by restricting itself to AI astrology, time of day, relationship levels (??). The duke could stand to commission a farcking quest board imo!!! I won’t kid myself and say that the quests in DD1 were even a bronze standard, but they worked and communicated exactly what they needed to do while also leaving open ends available for interpretation. But in DD2, they’re just awful, I absolutely hated the experience of trying to clear up Vermund’s quests before pushing Main Story progression and at this point I wish I cared as little as the game does. What need is there for almost all of them to have a “return to me in a few days” component in a game with such limited fast travel, do you want me to throw you into the brine? Frankly the game is never as interesting as when you're doing Sphinx riddles.

Combat’s good enough, I do enjoy how the interplay of systems would present the player with all sorts of unique situations, but even these can and do begin to feel samey when a very slim enemy pool on shuffle. What makes these emergent conflicts even less impressive to me is how I can't help but feel as though the ogres, trolls and chimeras in particular have had their difficulties neutered. The hardest time I had with the chimera was during a sidequest where you had to get the poison-lover to be doused in chimeric snake venom. They're barely a threat otherwise, and can either be chain stunlocked with well-placed shots or slashes, or get too lost in their own attack animations to really hit anyone. Comparing these enemies to DD1 where climbing was far more effective at dealing damage encouraged the player to get real up close to them and it felt like their AI knew how to deal with that. Like when I fought the Medusa it felt like they didn't have any idea where the party even was. I think if the hardest encounters the game has to offer is Too Many Goblins we have a problem. (Dullahan is very cool though)

I’m not miffed no matter how miffed I sound. When do people like me ever get sequels to games they love? I’ll tell u dear reader it’s Never. Dragon’s Dogma 2 is full of wonder & delight and I think anyone less fatigued by SCALE and SANDBOX than me has a home in it. I feel a little left behind, having spent 12 years wasting away in the waiting room rotating in my head the concepts DD1 confidently wields, and its further potential as a foundation for a sequel. A game that was absolutely 'for me', course correcting into sick-of-this-already airspace. I’ll be excited to see whatever news, expansions or the like the future holds for DD2. Right now, though? I think DD1 has a stronger jawline.

Call of Cthulhu: Shadow of the Comet, originally just Shadow of the Comet, is a Lovecraft themed 1993 point-and-click adventure game for the PC DOS. Its character portraits are just the tracing of famous actors, its interface was already outdated by the time it came out, and worst of all, its puzzles fucking suck. But, in conjunction with that all, Shadow of the Comet features a unique setting, awesome monsters, and some absolutely chilling scenes. All in all, it resulted in it getting this sort-of hated soft spot in my heart lol.

The weakest point in the entire game are its puzzles. Shadow of the Comet's puzzles are genuinely terrible, and impossible to figure out without a guide, as a significant number of them are also timed! The first true puzzle you run into in the game involves developing photos with the game giving you 8 chemicals to choose from. You only need to use 4; in a specific order mind you. There are absolutely no hints, except for expecting the player to know the scientific terms for the chemicals that make up the developer and what order to use them… naturally of course! All the other puzzles are not any better, in fact the game starts to make you time everything right with a countdown on top of it all. The last in-game day is impossible without a guide, genuinely. At least the creators seemed to release a guidebook about a year after the release of the game… but honestly, as a kid, I probably would have just dropped the game instead of searching for a guidebook.

The graphics, sound and interface are all a bit dated, even when it was first released in 1993. I mean like, come on, Myst and Day of the Tentacle came out the same year and were infinitely more impressive (Myst) or charming (DotT). Shadow of the Comet has a lot going for it, taking the lore of Lovecraft, something that uses the reader's imagination to physically shape their deepest fears, and using an interactive medium to tell it. I think the especially ghoulish scenes, such as the cemetery and jump-scare monsters are where the game really shows its strengths, making a really thrilling point-and-click adventure game. Just wish it focused on it a bit more. Sound wise, there’s I think 3 unique songs in this game, one of which only plays when you leave the town at the end. It gets annoying pretty fast.

Overall, I don’t think I would recommend Call of Cthulhu: Shadow of the Comet to too many, unless you’re dying to try a Lovecraft themed point-and-click. It’s not very fun because you really do need to look up everything you have to do, since so much of it is timed, you don’t have time to mess around and try stuff out. Cthulhu isn’t even really in the game! You see its tentacles kinda at the end, but that’s it. They should have just kept it named Shadow of Comet, since that’s what the game focuses on more, but I guess it doesn’t sound as scary. Some cool scenes, but pretty forgettable overall.

2/5

One of the most beautiful and well-written games I've played in my life. Genuine tears were streaming down my face when I finished the epilogue. I haven't played many point-and-click adventure games: only the ones by Humongous Entertainment and Sam & Max, so randomly picking up this game that was super cheap during the steam sale and having it be one of the best pieces of media I've experienced in my life was an insanely pleasant surprise.

The Longest Journey, without going into too many spoilers, is a story about April Ryan, and her connection between the two worlds: Stark (the world of science and law) and Arcadia (the world of magic and chaos). Throughout the story, through April, you travel and experience the struggles of abuse, political censorship, and if war can ever truly be "just". You meet strange people, animals, and mystical creatures that help you along your journey to help reconnect the seperated worlds. Every character is so well thought-out and truly personal, it feels like you're properly meeting someone who has gone through so much in life, their skin moist with the sweat of real fears and missed dreams. Something personal to me that I really enjoyed was the crazy amount of strongly written female characters, ranging from our relatable but brave girl protag, to the realistic and openly accepted lesbian couple, to the old women whose tales we must trust more than our own self. I appreciate that the serious times of the game are allowed their moments, while also having many silly moments that know when to be separate. I went in expecting to hate Crow, as an example, but you don't see him too often for him to become annoying, and when you do see him, it feels like a breath of fresh air to hear his dumb, silly banter. The story is set up perfectly, and clearly had a lot of time and love put into it, with it being absolutely perfectly paced, and one of the better examples of using the Chekhov's Gun trope that I can think of.

My compliants are small, and just involve stuff that old point-and-clicks almost always do, such as having a couple confusing puzzles or actions to continue the story, but for a point-and-click as long and complicated as The Longest Journey I was pretty shocked how few "dead-ends" I ran into. The game also crashed a bit, but I guess it's to be expected when running an older PC game on a modern computer, and I mostly only really had issues with crashes when it didn't mix well with OBS.

The Longest Journey is $3 during the Steam sale - I've already bought and gifted it to 5 of my friends, begging them to put time aside and play this game. It's not going to be a game that touches everyone as emotionally as it touched me, but if you have $3 lying around and 25+ hours to spend, please please give it a chance...

This is the story of the Longest Journey, and I told it in my own words, as told to me by my teacher. As we will continue to tell for many, many years.

5/5

Sudocats is a charming Sudoku game with the unique premise that the numbers are replaced with drawings of cats. It’s a simple but well-executed idea, one that does exactly what it promises to do. There’s a high chance that you’ll enjoy your time with it if you particularly like brain teasers and/or kitties.
A big reason that I think Sudocats succeeds is its heart. It’s obvious that the devs enjoyed developing the game, and even more-so that they have a real passion for cats; it’s the complete antithesis to the soulless (albeit free) hidden object schlock such as 100 Asian Cats that I’ve covered in the past. Even if it’s not exactly an original concept, they took the time to make their product fun for players and full of love for felines.
In fact, Sudocats’ eponymous cats are largely based on the team’s own pets! This is definitely my favorite part of the entire game, as it made the atmosphere feel all the more cozy and lovingly-crafted. Best of all, after completing a set of three levels, you’ll unlock a picture and a small blurb about one of them that includes their name, age, breed, and personality. It’s honestly a great incentive to play through the entire game, at least for cat lovers like me.
The general art style is very cute, too! The menus are presented as an adorable notebook covered in cat-related stickers, along with an “adopt don’t shop” bookmark. The cats remind me of Neko Atsume a bit, with their round shape language, bold line art, and bright colors. They each have unique poses (and even facial expressions), which creates a great deal of variety amongst them - an important detail so that you can easily differentiate between them on the board.
Aside from the cats themselves, my favorite visual feature of Sudocats is definitely the player’s ability to customize their in-game look. There are a variety of board colors and patterned, textured, or solid backgrounds to mix and match. I only wish that your choices carried over between levels, so that you wouldn’t have to change it back every time if you found a particular combination you liked (I largely preferred the darker palettes as it’s easier on the eyes.)
Along with this visual freedom, there’s also an in-game option to easily switch between the three music tracks. The first serves as the main menu’s theme as well; it’s a jaunty piano tune that, while definitely a cheerful introduction to the game, is ultimately my least favorite of the three. The other two tracks are similarly led by piano, yet they’re much more low-key and relaxing - a style that I feel suits Sudocats’ cozy atmosphere much better. Each of them are licensed music instead of original content, but I think the team at least did a decent job with their selections.
As for the gameplay, well… if you know how to play Sudoku then you’ve already got it! There are three different stages of puzzles, each with nine levels - 4x4, 6x6, and 9x9. I found the 4x4s and 6x6s painfully easy, as I’m sure most people with any Sudoku experience would. Still, these simpler levels serve as a good introduction if you’re unfamiliar with the puzzle format. Another thing to note is that you actually have every single level unlocked from the very beginning (there’s even a ‘random level’ button), so you could entirely skip the easy ones if you wanted to! The 9x9s are definitely the most fun and challenging, but I don’t begrudge the others for being here. I could especially see a child engaging with and learning from them.
Aside from the cat blurbs I mentioned earlier, you actually unlock one other thing while you progress. This time, it’s an instructional guide on how to introduce a new cat into your home when you already have resident cat(s). You’ll unlock each step over the course of the first ten levels you complete. This obviously won’t be as fun of a reward for a lot of people, but I think it’s really cool that the team went out of their way to teach pet owners something beneficial for their current and future kitties.
Of course, there’s only so much enjoyment you can get out of Sudoku at the end of the day. Fans of brain teasers will surely play it more often - doubly so if they’re a cat person - so it really just depends on each player’s taste. Either way, the inclusion of daily and randomly-generated levels means you’re always guaranteed a new puzzle, giving you infinite value from this two-dollar game! That’s a big point in its favor.
It’s just so nice to have a casual, cute, and well-made puzzle game like this on my Steam, waiting there for whenever I feel like picking it back up. It’s free from the pesky ads plaguing similar phone apps, and even has its own unique little gimmick - better yet, a gimmick based on something I personally love!
So, even though it may not have the most original concepts, Sudocats builds upon its foundation in some very charming ways. I’m sure I’ll boot it up every once and a while to play a few levels. It’s easily worth the price, and if it sounds interesting to you, I’d definitely recommend checking it out. I have no doubt you’ll enjoy it!

Visuals: 3.5/5
Sound: 3.5/5
Gameplay: 4/5
Replayability: 3.5/5
Overall Game Score: 3.5/5 [3.6/5]

It doesn't do a whole lot to really deal with my foundational qualms with Late Souls entries;- where I think the incoming damage is tuned way too fucking high. Necessitating the need to turn off the part of my brain that is capable of enjoying the cool fantasy adventure and instead allocate more power to memorising excruciating enemy movesets, and resisting the urge to fucking kill myself while looking at a blacksmith menu.

What's here is incredibly cool though, there's some serious nerve to calling what is essentially a fanmade standalone Souls game a """demo""" that is currently, playably, almost as content-rich as Demon's Souls. It leaning into the linear Archstone level structure from Demon's is such a salve to me, it's like being given five different adventure novels and being tasked to push your bookmark as far as u can thru them. Each of the worlds call to prior Souls entries to varying levels of explicitness, from a remux of Heide's Tower of Flame to an entirely new desert biome that is abso gorgeous. These locales not needing to necessarily feel beholden to eachother to have that interlinked coherence is just such a buzz of variety I love it.

In complete honesty i didn't play Bloodborne Souls 2 or 3 any more than the once (sorry sory) so my memory of the minutia of their locations and enemies are incredibly hazy. Even then, it's pretty clear at times when the mod runs a boss through something akin to the Pokemon Fusion website, Frankensteining together a funny little Radagon of the Boreal Valley or whatever.

Ultimately I'm just spellbound by the ambition here, what the mod desperately needs is some rebalancing to stop the enemies from being insanely damage spongy. I don't care how gud i need to git as much as I care about wasting my time doing 50 damage per hit on an regular mob enemy that has 10,00000,0000000 hp & will give a pittance of souls on defeat.

Big 'your mileage may vary' thing here but it's free and has a great installer so it's an easy recc. If this project sees fruition I can imagine it'd be special to the point of legal action being considered or something. Saria is a my queen etc.

I understand the addicting appeal of the game, but found it pretty boring after two days of playing it on my phone. It reminds me of Binding of Isaac, and how there isn't really a gameplay aspect other than just get lucky with the items handed to you. My dislike of that is probably why I so quickly got bored with both. My friend described it as the video game equivalent of junk food, which I feel fits my overall feeling on the game.

I poured blood sweat and tears to put this game up on this site purely to showcase the pure absurdity of its existence. This stupid ROM somehow captures the raw existential dread of the Lain franchise in a much more goofy, yet still characteristically off-putting manner, just like other entries in the series. Despite its differences, it preserves the irreplaceable atmosphere of suffocating loneliness of the developing modern age technological advancements by...
WOWIE!! SILLY LAIN DANCE!!

I wonder how the other scientists feel about Rosenberg having a higher fidelity head than them.

A pretty clever game, though I don't know if I would spend $15 on it again as it was only around 2 hours long and didn't have too much gameplay. Home Safety Hotline definitely comes off as a game that would be popular with streamers, and low and behold when I looked up the game on Youtube to see other people's experiences, the first thing I saw was Markiplier's face LOL.

Home Safety Hotline is a fun idea for a game, and is done in a super aesthetically pleasing way, its just that the gameplay starts to get a bit monotonous, and around the 4th or 5th day I realized that this was just what the entire game would be. I thought there would be more of a twist with the ending, and instead found you just watch what looks like a film some college students put together and then the credits roll. Don't get me wrong, it was cute/silly, but I couldn't tell if the game was trying to do an actual horror-kinda thing or something goofier. Oh well, it's not that serious. I would recommend Home Safety Hotline if you're looking for a short, creative, spooky game to play in one night!

3/5

I don't feel it's controversial to say this - we are living in the worst era of video games in the medium’s history. In this post-creative type age, AAA games are designed by corporate committees, the bleeding hearts and artists chained to their whim. Here's $10 billion dollars, make a game. Your livelihoods are threatened if it falls beneath our expectations, except not really because we're going to lay off 60% of your team anyway after launch. We want a remake of an old classic of yours now that we've bought the rights from your old publisher - we'll give you no more than five years to finish regurgitating the same game you made in a fifth of the time two decades ago but your game will still come out unpolished, unappreciated, your bloody hands and dried tear ducts for naught. We're your new publishers, we're looking for a change of pace from your streak of critically acclaimed titles - we feel a live service game will be more beneficial to us. We’ll be looking into layoffs and a potential merger if the Metacritic score doesn’t meet our expectations. It cannot be understated or made any clearer - the bubble is not about to burst; the bubble is bursting.

It goes without saying, and there is no exception in this day and age, that if a AAA game is good, it is good in spite of any grievous sins it commits. LEGO 2K Drive is a fun arcade racer. LEGO 2K Drive also costs $60 USD, has five consecutive battle passes each locked behind their own purchase, and in-game currency is drip-fed at a consistency I’ve seen more generous in Korean F2P mobile games.

What is the point of sending obviously hardworking, dedicated game developers to this critical death? Why must creative teams have to be chained to the ankles of executives uninterested in art form - merging, dissolving, firing developers at will off the weights of failures not their own? 2K Drive is fun. Undoubtedly. The divide between the joy of its loving arcadey gameplay and creative spirit to the horror of its fleshy, bleeding abscess of finance-leeching rotting flesh is too palpable. Though leeching it does, because after some time the imbalance grows too great.

User-made custom car creations are downloadable in-game in its current state, but I distinctly remember why publisher 2K had to announce this wasn’t planned to be before release, much to the chagrin of, well, everyone. What’s the point in creating if you can’t share with the world? The answer became obvious almost immediately when looking within. Why do I get 10 Brickbux for getting a gold medal in a challenge, and 50 when winning a race, when a fucking cosmetic car costs 10,000? Oh, that’s an easy answer, because you’d have no reason to be pressed to pay real money to boost your in-game currency if you could just download the cool user-created stuff online. This isn’t counting the five consecutive battle passes. This game also costs $60.

2K Drive’s progression is, by design, torturous, but its gameplay is at a clear odds from it. Cars handle well, its challenge missions engaging and varied, its races variably frantic and exciting, its story a cute and charming melting parody pot of racing story tropes. Despite finding myself growing more and more averse to the tired trend of open world games, this is where the divide is drawn with mile-wide crayon - it’s fun. The plainness of its formula is upended by the sheer joy of absurdity it relishes in - barreling through structures, rocketing through explosions of thousands of LEGO pieces both structural and minifigure (yes, you can just mow down pedestrians in this, it’s hilarious), pun-riddled dialogue both confident as it is surprisingly more endearing than annoying (something I think the LEGO games have always been good at). Unfortunately, its wholehearted spirit is progressively crushed the more time you invest, because you're expected to invest as much money as you do your own time into 2K Drive. Progression stagnates, incentives are diminished, and the only joy you can wring out after you feel closed off completely is just enjoying the online races yourself, outside of the story mode. Oh wait, no you can't, because the online also barely works.

You don’t need to stretch your neck out very far to see the state of the way multimedia is being curated today, and you don’t need a third eye and an all-encompassing andromedatic galaxy brain to see how much art today is dictated by committee - this is just the most obvious its ever looked. Underneath its Financial Terror Shield is a game that’s struggling to exist - an honest core, crying by itself, to just be a game. We’re undoubtedly worse off now, but this game wouldn’t even be much different 10 years ago. Its future also feels all too certain, being under the reins of many alike a publisher more eager to kill off a game’s entire service before they’ll let it live indefinitely without profit. It’s not just developers who’ve been demoralized and dehumanized throughout this process - you are also no longer a fan. You are a demographic, a consumer, a target market, complicit either way you look at it. If you need any further proof of the post-post times we live in, 7 companies have laid off their employees in the week I spent writing this on and off, and it’s only a matter of time before every brick in this failing structure is put back in its box. The most radical action a consumer can perform today is to download a user-made LEGO rendition of the Flintstone's Flintmobile off the content shop and not spend their actual Brickbux on the corporate-mandated seasonal coupes, and hope that when the last brick falls, we can all put a hand towards rebuilding.