Squigglydot
1235 Reviews liked by Squigglydot
My Pokémon Ranch
2008
What the medium has always needed
A small town patriot defending his homestead from an invasion of California liberals
A small town patriot defending his homestead from an invasion of California liberals
Shin Megami Tensei V
2021
The most complete feeling game Atlus has ever made
Rogue
1980
WHO THE FUCK IS ROGUE AND WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE THEM
Decimate Drive
2023
Decimate Drive is alright. Going entirely off of the premise, this had the prospective for being one of the most effective horror games I'd be able to play. Growing up amidst a handful of cases where friends and family fell victim to (thankfully minor) vehicular accidents instilled in me a profound fear of cars. They're fucked up things, densely destructive machines, screaming hunks of steel and aluminium that instantly alter the brain chemistry of anyone behind the wheel into callous freaks fully convinced in their own invulnerability. Isn't it fucking crazy that you could be minding your own business, walking on the pavement, doing everything right, and something could just happen? All because of someone having a bad day/off their nut/losing control/insisting on breaking the speed limit to shave a minute off their commute? How am I supposed to be normal about that? I've certainly never been. It's tricky business on the Cu Chulainn Causeway, brothers 😔.
The setting of Decimate Drive, being a simple enough premise of going from A to B while under the relentless assault of vehicles in the dead of night is quite literally what I have regular nightmares of, I was interested from the jump. It handles the core pretty well, you're basically just running from checkpoint to checkpoint in the midst of a handful of underlit destruction derbies. Not exactly rich with mechanics or anything, but the game's short runtime and abundance of increasingly fucked vehicle types kept fanning the flames of tension.
There are moments where Decimate Drive hits some incredibly high notes; adept use of lighting and sound design to evoke tension. It doesn't take long for the artifice to set in, however, sharply shifting gear into a game akin to like Clustertruck. Despite the presentation of the game gunning for a sense of realism, the perpetual crashing of vehicles without any visible damage undermines the intensity and unintentionally creates a sense that they aren't putting in enough effort to pose a genuine threat to the player lol.
Ultimately this game pushed me to check in on BEWARE, which I am happy to see is still in active development :)
The setting of Decimate Drive, being a simple enough premise of going from A to B while under the relentless assault of vehicles in the dead of night is quite literally what I have regular nightmares of, I was interested from the jump. It handles the core pretty well, you're basically just running from checkpoint to checkpoint in the midst of a handful of underlit destruction derbies. Not exactly rich with mechanics or anything, but the game's short runtime and abundance of increasingly fucked vehicle types kept fanning the flames of tension.
There are moments where Decimate Drive hits some incredibly high notes; adept use of lighting and sound design to evoke tension. It doesn't take long for the artifice to set in, however, sharply shifting gear into a game akin to like Clustertruck. Despite the presentation of the game gunning for a sense of realism, the perpetual crashing of vehicles without any visible damage undermines the intensity and unintentionally creates a sense that they aren't putting in enough effort to pose a genuine threat to the player lol.
Ultimately this game pushed me to check in on BEWARE, which I am happy to see is still in active development :)
Holy shit, what a fucking funny game. Really charming, full of fun characters and events. Especially catered towards me with its slight crude humor and full-on stupidity. Still, a very 90's point-and-click though, with knowing what to do next being almost impossible sometimes, but hey, that's what the game genre was like back then, can't completely fault Sam & Max for that.
Short and sweet with lots of more obscene humor. Fun mini-games outside of the point-and-click aspect as well with the highway and carnival games. If you want to try a classic 90's point-and-click with some off-color humor, then I can't recommend this game enough for you.
Short and sweet with lots of more obscene humor. Fun mini-games outside of the point-and-click aspect as well with the highway and carnival games. If you want to try a classic 90's point-and-click with some off-color humor, then I can't recommend this game enough for you.
Metal Slug 3
2000
Okay I change my mind, this is the best one.
0°N 0°W
2018
Coming off of A God Who Lives In Your Head, I was really excited for some more ‘weird art’. This time it came in the form of ZeroNorth ZeroWest, a game released in 2018 that’s heavily inspired by LSD: Dream Emulator.
If you don’t know what LSD is, then let’s start there. The player explores abstract environments, where if you touch any object, it warps you to a completely new world. There are strange events you may encounter strewn throughout. It’s a fascinating concept - even more-so because it was released on the Playstation 2 in 1998. It never got a US release, unfortunately, but it has become a cult classic all over the globe. I would love to play it myself one day.
Over time, I’ve found a few indie games that clearly have LSD’s DNA baked in. You explore abstract worlds endlessly, no way to win or lose. ZeroNorth ZeroWest is one of these games. And while I doubt this is the best form of the mind-bending genre, it’s a decent little project with some cool ideas.
0N0W opens with an interesting live action short from the POV of our protagonist. The nondescript man wakes up, prepares for his day, packs, and gets into his car to go on a long road trip. We pass all sorts of varying landscapes - some which, I swear as a Georgian, look eerily familiar to me - before it rather seamlessly transitions into the actual game. The man pulls into a small town’s gas station and steps out of the car, handing control over to the player.
From here, you’ll briefly visit the game’s only actual location; this town block sitting amidst an otherwise desolate countryside, the only open building being a local theater. Once you enter, you’re teleported into the alternate dimensions that will make up the bulk of your experience.
If you’re lucky, you’ll start your new foray into a world inside of a small living space - one of the only shreds of real humanity present during your exploration. Some persistent themes throughout these houses (or, sometimes, apartments) are a clock and a TV, the latter of which will display trippy static effects if you interact with it. Otherwise, the interior is altered slightly for whatever world you’re currently in. You may not even get the quick comfort of a house, though. Sometimes you’ll just open smack-dab in the middle of a strange forest, or on floating platforms.
You’ll immediately notice that the ‘visual shine’, for lack of a better term, is altered between many worlds - neon, black and white, a cloudy blur. 0N0W is slathered in these loud aesthetics. Meanwhile, the core art style relies on geometric shapes to convey the world around you. They may take the form of a huge, bustling city, with tall skyscrapers and streaks of light in the pits representing never-ending traffic; or you may encounter a barren desert, the horizon dotted with strange monuments to run towards. Everything feels alien yet slightly familiar.
Additionally, there are unique worlds in which you traverse trippy, kaleidoscopic landscapes void of… well, literally anything except for the player. There’s barely even a sense of direction as you wander around without a ground or sky. The game’s usual color palettes can already be hard on the eyes, but these often feel nearly impossible to look at. It’s a really harsh aesthetic. That’s not to mention that these kaleidoscope worlds are paired with even more basic gameplay and player engagement than the regular ones. Still, I enjoyed them for what they were. I particularly liked how, instead of traditional loading screens between maps, you’re flung through the same kind of scenery. You can even look around during!
Many of the worlds are, in fact, copies of each other with a different ‘shine’ and a handful of smaller changes. Their most interesting features are usually the details specific to each individual world - moments of humanity buried beneath. In a city, I came across neon graffiti. There are TVs hidden in some corners, as well as doors that will lead you to your next world. I discovered that the desert maps house a huge building with the roof caved in; my favorite version had tables with chairs, a corner filled with shelves of books, and even a car.
Many strange ‘creatures’ roam around, although they don’t acknowledge the player in any way. Examples of their physical forms include smooth blobs, spiky blobs, or bug-like swarms. These also harbor a sound design bit I really liked; if you approach, a noise - ranging from computer beeps to machine whirring - will emanate from them and gradually become louder.
In fact, the sound design as a whole is probably my favorite part of 0N0W. Serene ambience makes up the ‘soundtrack’; and it’s occasionally intertwined with sound effects such as crickets chirping or radio crackles. Most of these effects are, similarly to the creatures’ noises, directional hearing tied to certain places or things in the environment. You’ll naturally encounter them as you explore, allowing you to have a personal hand in the relaxing soundscape. It’s nothing new or groundbreaking, but it’s very enjoyable.
Contrarily, even though the visuals are quite striking, they still ended up feeling empty after a while. This is largely due to the absence of nearly any direct input from the player; though the audio transforms slightly during the player’s journey through an area, there’s no meaningful way for them to participate in the visual side of things. I genuinely enjoy the hand-made quality each world has in 0N0W... but the game is just tedious to play after 20 minutes, during which nothing new is introduced except some aesthetics. It also doesn’t help that, across my own playthroughs, I kept running into a frustrating issue where I’d loop through the same few worlds over and over again (though the specific worlds would change each time.)
I did eventually realize that there’s a useful menu binded to ‘M’ that makes navigation much easier. It’s really my own fault for not trying the button sooner, since the controls are displayed each time you boot up. Anyways, aside from the expected volume control and main menu return, this has a few other useful options. The most useful of these takes you to the ‘world selection menu’ that’s unlocked after playing for the first time; even though the're all named discreetly using code here, you can at least guarantee you’ll be seeing new things. There’s also one that takes you to a ‘door room’, a black void with a few doors that lead to different places. This adds a bit more of the intended randomness back into the mix.
Having more control over my 0N0W experience like this definitely improved my enjoyment of it! Still, I can’t help but dislike the fact that I had to use a menu to get a good selection of what the game had to offer; I would’ve hoped that it could do that on its own. The original intention was to journey through a random selection of worlds seamlessly, and I felt like my experience was constantly disrupted because I had to use the menu so much.
Either way, there’s unfortunately only so much entertainment to get out of 0N0W. Once you’ve visited all of the worlds - which may take an hour or two, depending on how much time you spend in each - there’s really nothing else to it. I’ve been enjoying booting it up now and then while I write this review, but only ever for a few minutes at a time. I recently discovered that there are a few secret worlds thanks to a guide… but I honestly would’ve preferred for them to be as accessible as the rest, just to round out the content a bit more.
The last thing I want to discuss before wrapping up is the VR version of 0N0W, a free DLC included with the base game. This is definitely the most immersive way to experience the atmosphere. Only five of the maps are available in this mode - most easily accessible through keybindings - but I had fun just roaming around and taking in the sights. The only big issue is that there’s a 50/50 chance your corneas will be assaulted with nauseatingly bright visuals.
At the end of the day, 0N0W is more of an interactive art piece than anything - an abstract, inscrutable experience that forces you to draw your own conclusions. I definitely appreciate its style, and I think it has a certain charm; but I’m not sure I’d necessarily recommend the game as a whole (especially at its five dollar price tag.) It can get dull quickly, I suspect especially so for players without the patience or interest required for this type of game.
Visuals: 4/5
Sound: 4.5/5
Gameplay: 1/5
Worldbuilding: 3/5
Replayability: 2.5/5
Overall Game Score: 3/5
If you don’t know what LSD is, then let’s start there. The player explores abstract environments, where if you touch any object, it warps you to a completely new world. There are strange events you may encounter strewn throughout. It’s a fascinating concept - even more-so because it was released on the Playstation 2 in 1998. It never got a US release, unfortunately, but it has become a cult classic all over the globe. I would love to play it myself one day.
Over time, I’ve found a few indie games that clearly have LSD’s DNA baked in. You explore abstract worlds endlessly, no way to win or lose. ZeroNorth ZeroWest is one of these games. And while I doubt this is the best form of the mind-bending genre, it’s a decent little project with some cool ideas.
0N0W opens with an interesting live action short from the POV of our protagonist. The nondescript man wakes up, prepares for his day, packs, and gets into his car to go on a long road trip. We pass all sorts of varying landscapes - some which, I swear as a Georgian, look eerily familiar to me - before it rather seamlessly transitions into the actual game. The man pulls into a small town’s gas station and steps out of the car, handing control over to the player.
From here, you’ll briefly visit the game’s only actual location; this town block sitting amidst an otherwise desolate countryside, the only open building being a local theater. Once you enter, you’re teleported into the alternate dimensions that will make up the bulk of your experience.
If you’re lucky, you’ll start your new foray into a world inside of a small living space - one of the only shreds of real humanity present during your exploration. Some persistent themes throughout these houses (or, sometimes, apartments) are a clock and a TV, the latter of which will display trippy static effects if you interact with it. Otherwise, the interior is altered slightly for whatever world you’re currently in. You may not even get the quick comfort of a house, though. Sometimes you’ll just open smack-dab in the middle of a strange forest, or on floating platforms.
You’ll immediately notice that the ‘visual shine’, for lack of a better term, is altered between many worlds - neon, black and white, a cloudy blur. 0N0W is slathered in these loud aesthetics. Meanwhile, the core art style relies on geometric shapes to convey the world around you. They may take the form of a huge, bustling city, with tall skyscrapers and streaks of light in the pits representing never-ending traffic; or you may encounter a barren desert, the horizon dotted with strange monuments to run towards. Everything feels alien yet slightly familiar.
Additionally, there are unique worlds in which you traverse trippy, kaleidoscopic landscapes void of… well, literally anything except for the player. There’s barely even a sense of direction as you wander around without a ground or sky. The game’s usual color palettes can already be hard on the eyes, but these often feel nearly impossible to look at. It’s a really harsh aesthetic. That’s not to mention that these kaleidoscope worlds are paired with even more basic gameplay and player engagement than the regular ones. Still, I enjoyed them for what they were. I particularly liked how, instead of traditional loading screens between maps, you’re flung through the same kind of scenery. You can even look around during!
Many of the worlds are, in fact, copies of each other with a different ‘shine’ and a handful of smaller changes. Their most interesting features are usually the details specific to each individual world - moments of humanity buried beneath. In a city, I came across neon graffiti. There are TVs hidden in some corners, as well as doors that will lead you to your next world. I discovered that the desert maps house a huge building with the roof caved in; my favorite version had tables with chairs, a corner filled with shelves of books, and even a car.
Many strange ‘creatures’ roam around, although they don’t acknowledge the player in any way. Examples of their physical forms include smooth blobs, spiky blobs, or bug-like swarms. These also harbor a sound design bit I really liked; if you approach, a noise - ranging from computer beeps to machine whirring - will emanate from them and gradually become louder.
In fact, the sound design as a whole is probably my favorite part of 0N0W. Serene ambience makes up the ‘soundtrack’; and it’s occasionally intertwined with sound effects such as crickets chirping or radio crackles. Most of these effects are, similarly to the creatures’ noises, directional hearing tied to certain places or things in the environment. You’ll naturally encounter them as you explore, allowing you to have a personal hand in the relaxing soundscape. It’s nothing new or groundbreaking, but it’s very enjoyable.
Contrarily, even though the visuals are quite striking, they still ended up feeling empty after a while. This is largely due to the absence of nearly any direct input from the player; though the audio transforms slightly during the player’s journey through an area, there’s no meaningful way for them to participate in the visual side of things. I genuinely enjoy the hand-made quality each world has in 0N0W... but the game is just tedious to play after 20 minutes, during which nothing new is introduced except some aesthetics. It also doesn’t help that, across my own playthroughs, I kept running into a frustrating issue where I’d loop through the same few worlds over and over again (though the specific worlds would change each time.)
I did eventually realize that there’s a useful menu binded to ‘M’ that makes navigation much easier. It’s really my own fault for not trying the button sooner, since the controls are displayed each time you boot up. Anyways, aside from the expected volume control and main menu return, this has a few other useful options. The most useful of these takes you to the ‘world selection menu’ that’s unlocked after playing for the first time; even though the're all named discreetly using code here, you can at least guarantee you’ll be seeing new things. There’s also one that takes you to a ‘door room’, a black void with a few doors that lead to different places. This adds a bit more of the intended randomness back into the mix.
Having more control over my 0N0W experience like this definitely improved my enjoyment of it! Still, I can’t help but dislike the fact that I had to use a menu to get a good selection of what the game had to offer; I would’ve hoped that it could do that on its own. The original intention was to journey through a random selection of worlds seamlessly, and I felt like my experience was constantly disrupted because I had to use the menu so much.
Either way, there’s unfortunately only so much entertainment to get out of 0N0W. Once you’ve visited all of the worlds - which may take an hour or two, depending on how much time you spend in each - there’s really nothing else to it. I’ve been enjoying booting it up now and then while I write this review, but only ever for a few minutes at a time. I recently discovered that there are a few secret worlds thanks to a guide… but I honestly would’ve preferred for them to be as accessible as the rest, just to round out the content a bit more.
The last thing I want to discuss before wrapping up is the VR version of 0N0W, a free DLC included with the base game. This is definitely the most immersive way to experience the atmosphere. Only five of the maps are available in this mode - most easily accessible through keybindings - but I had fun just roaming around and taking in the sights. The only big issue is that there’s a 50/50 chance your corneas will be assaulted with nauseatingly bright visuals.
At the end of the day, 0N0W is more of an interactive art piece than anything - an abstract, inscrutable experience that forces you to draw your own conclusions. I definitely appreciate its style, and I think it has a certain charm; but I’m not sure I’d necessarily recommend the game as a whole (especially at its five dollar price tag.) It can get dull quickly, I suspect especially so for players without the patience or interest required for this type of game.
Visuals: 4/5
Sound: 4.5/5
Gameplay: 1/5
Worldbuilding: 3/5
Replayability: 2.5/5
Overall Game Score: 3/5
[Some epic music starts playing]
████████████████ 100%
▬▬ι══ 𝘽𝙄𝙂 𝘼𝙎𝙎 𝙈𝙊𝙉𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍 ═════ﺤ
At it's best, Granblue Fantasy Relink is a highly-concentrated, epic action RPG that keeps on one-upping itself in it's grand vistas and even grander bosses with one-off mechanics, over-the-top encounters and oodles of giant creatures to fight and besiege. At it's worse, Grandblue Fantasy Relink is this👇
³⁰⁰ 💥₄₅₀ 🔥 ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
🗡️₂₅₀💥.... ݁⊹ . ݁˖ . 5600 𝘿𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙚
████████████████ 99%
For my first-venture in the Grandblue-verse, I was taken aback by how honest and by-the-book the narrative and it's depicted cast are: A ragtag group of happy-go-lucky friends that all bond over their love of helping and venturing forth, with a villain who seeks to destroy the (rather standard depiction of a fantasy world) world over selfish gains. I admit, 'twas refreshing at first, but after Vyrn's 10th dumbass quip I lost all the spark the game's setting hold one me in an instant.
₄₅₀ 🔥³⁰⁰ 💥⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
³⁰⁰ 💥⁴⁵⁰💥.... ݁. ݁˖ . 5750 𝘿𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙚
████████████████ 98%
Granblue hooks people with promises and comparisons of "Monster Hunter"-akin combat ('least, that's what I keep hearing people comparing it to!) And I mean, it has big bosses! Big bosses of epic proportions that stomp, slash and shoot about, creating a mini-circle-hellscape to push through. Beautifully telegraphed with the occasional exciting scripted sequence and some really engaging attack patterns that get better as the story progresses. "Get better", as unfortunately the beginning til middle point devolves into your eyes fixating on the upper half of the screen, rhythmically pressing Light or Heavy Attack and a well-timed dodge or two, watching in dread as the bosses health bar is shrinking at a snail's pace no matter what you do.
And I want to circle back to the "Monster Hunter" comparison that keeps popping up: I don't see it. Sure, it has late-Game quest-grinding, co-op hopping big monster slayin, but is that really the Monster Hunter experience? There aren't any nuances or prep-work going into a battle, just punching and slashing til it's healthpoints reach 0%, which takes a... while...
³⁰⁰ 💥₆₀₀🩸⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
₄₅₀ 🔥₄₅₀ 🔥... ˖ . ݁5370 𝘿𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙚
████████████████ 97%
Gorgeous visuals and set-pieces that are often just a sad backdrop for the corridors and circle-arenas of the mission. Variety in characters and trees, yet limited on what one can actually do, while the trees, resources and level-ups beckon you to the horror that lie beyond the final boss (Repeated Grinding and optimization). A beautifully rendered cast of Skydwellers that play it surprisingly straight and "honest-core" (?), yet remain too one-dimensional for any sort of depth or attachment to be made. From the glimpse I have taken into the endgame, it is a purely self-indulgent grind, as every quest is just stripped down skinner-box version of it's story-quest counterpart and, yeah, no thanks.
There is a lot of qualm's I have with the game, but the biggest is probably the fact that a game very much focused on it's combat and big encounters, said encounters are so- OH WAIT LESGO I CAN DO FULL BURST LESGO
݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 🔥¹³⁰⁰ 💥₄₅₀ 🔥₁₄₅₀ ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 💥₁₂₅₀💥₁₂₅₀ 🩸₁₆₀₀ ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . 𝙁𝙐𝙇𝙇 𝘽𝙐𝙍𝙎𝙏 ݁ ₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .
݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ݁ ₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .
.⊹ 55600 𝘿𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙚
...
..
.
███████████████▒ 95%
▬▬ι══ 𝘽𝙄𝙂 𝘼𝙎𝙎 𝙈𝙊𝙉𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍 ═════ﺤ
...fuck this imma go to sleep 🛌
████████████████ 100%
▬▬ι══ 𝘽𝙄𝙂 𝘼𝙎𝙎 𝙈𝙊𝙉𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍 ═════ﺤ
At it's best, Granblue Fantasy Relink is a highly-concentrated, epic action RPG that keeps on one-upping itself in it's grand vistas and even grander bosses with one-off mechanics, over-the-top encounters and oodles of giant creatures to fight and besiege. At it's worse, Grandblue Fantasy Relink is this👇
³⁰⁰ 💥₄₅₀ 🔥 ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
🗡️₂₅₀💥.... ݁⊹ . ݁˖ . 5600 𝘿𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙚
████████████████ 99%
For my first-venture in the Grandblue-verse, I was taken aback by how honest and by-the-book the narrative and it's depicted cast are: A ragtag group of happy-go-lucky friends that all bond over their love of helping and venturing forth, with a villain who seeks to destroy the (rather standard depiction of a fantasy world) world over selfish gains. I admit, 'twas refreshing at first, but after Vyrn's 10th dumbass quip I lost all the spark the game's setting hold one me in an instant.
₄₅₀ 🔥³⁰⁰ 💥⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
³⁰⁰ 💥⁴⁵⁰💥.... ݁. ݁˖ . 5750 𝘿𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙚
████████████████ 98%
Granblue hooks people with promises and comparisons of "Monster Hunter"-akin combat ('least, that's what I keep hearing people comparing it to!) And I mean, it has big bosses! Big bosses of epic proportions that stomp, slash and shoot about, creating a mini-circle-hellscape to push through. Beautifully telegraphed with the occasional exciting scripted sequence and some really engaging attack patterns that get better as the story progresses. "Get better", as unfortunately the beginning til middle point devolves into your eyes fixating on the upper half of the screen, rhythmically pressing Light or Heavy Attack and a well-timed dodge or two, watching in dread as the bosses health bar is shrinking at a snail's pace no matter what you do.
And I want to circle back to the "Monster Hunter" comparison that keeps popping up: I don't see it. Sure, it has late-Game quest-grinding, co-op hopping big monster slayin, but is that really the Monster Hunter experience? There aren't any nuances or prep-work going into a battle, just punching and slashing til it's healthpoints reach 0%, which takes a... while...
³⁰⁰ 💥₆₀₀🩸⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
₄₅₀ 🔥₄₅₀ 🔥... ˖ . ݁5370 𝘿𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙚
████████████████ 97%
Gorgeous visuals and set-pieces that are often just a sad backdrop for the corridors and circle-arenas of the mission. Variety in characters and trees, yet limited on what one can actually do, while the trees, resources and level-ups beckon you to the horror that lie beyond the final boss (Repeated Grinding and optimization). A beautifully rendered cast of Skydwellers that play it surprisingly straight and "honest-core" (?), yet remain too one-dimensional for any sort of depth or attachment to be made. From the glimpse I have taken into the endgame, it is a purely self-indulgent grind, as every quest is just stripped down skinner-box version of it's story-quest counterpart and, yeah, no thanks.
There is a lot of qualm's I have with the game, but the biggest is probably the fact that a game very much focused on it's combat and big encounters, said encounters are so- OH WAIT LESGO I CAN DO FULL BURST LESGO
݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 🔥¹³⁰⁰ 💥₄₅₀ 🔥₁₄₅₀ ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 💥₁₂₅₀💥₁₂₅₀ 🩸₁₆₀₀ ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . 𝙁𝙐𝙇𝙇 𝘽𝙐𝙍𝙎𝙏 ݁ ₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .
݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ݁ ₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .
.⊹ 55600 𝘿𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙚
...
..
.
███████████████▒ 95%
▬▬ι══ 𝘽𝙄𝙂 𝘼𝙎𝙎 𝙈𝙊𝙉𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍 ═════ﺤ
...fuck this imma go to sleep 🛌
Seaman
1999
I know this game is mostly joke, but there is no other game I've had such an emotional connection with something entirely virtual before, and it's embarrassing to say it's one of the few games to make me ugly cry. You can laugh, but Seaman is a video game that means everything to me.
Seaman talks with you about life & death, religion & cultural traditions, and the past & the future. Seaman is a pet that you start from raising as an egg until it decides it is ready to venture out into its own world, thanking you for helping raise itself to peak mental and physical strength (or at least in my ending). You grow very close with Seaman, especially after having the conversations you do with it. It starts simple, especially when still in it's baby stage, but eventually your daily conversations with Seaman start focusing around the health of loved ones around you, how aging and death is inevitable, and eventually Seaman starts to question it's own morality. Seaman begins to wonder if it's real or just a part of my experience. If it will ever experience love and loss, or if it's just supposed to fulfill whatever it needs for my virtual pet experience. It's very eerie.
Seaman also just has a very fascinating look at technology. It talks a lot about how it feels computers will make our lives overall more sedentary, and how eventually we probably will never need to leave our homes because we can just work, socialize, and commerce with the computer. For being a game from 1999, it’s crazy how much it was able to predict aspects of not just a post-online world, but a post-covid lock-down internet world.
Seaman is memed a lot, and I don’t blame people, I mean the creator put his own goddamn face on a fish (and the insects you feed it, too!!), but just because you can find small humor and oddities in the challenge that life brings doesn’t take away the impact it still has.
I loved my Seaman. It’s something I think about weekly, wondering how it’s doing out in its virtual world outside the box I raised it in. Seaman is not real, but the impact it left on me certainly was, and I’ll never forget it.
4.5/5
Seaman talks with you about life & death, religion & cultural traditions, and the past & the future. Seaman is a pet that you start from raising as an egg until it decides it is ready to venture out into its own world, thanking you for helping raise itself to peak mental and physical strength (or at least in my ending). You grow very close with Seaman, especially after having the conversations you do with it. It starts simple, especially when still in it's baby stage, but eventually your daily conversations with Seaman start focusing around the health of loved ones around you, how aging and death is inevitable, and eventually Seaman starts to question it's own morality. Seaman begins to wonder if it's real or just a part of my experience. If it will ever experience love and loss, or if it's just supposed to fulfill whatever it needs for my virtual pet experience. It's very eerie.
Seaman also just has a very fascinating look at technology. It talks a lot about how it feels computers will make our lives overall more sedentary, and how eventually we probably will never need to leave our homes because we can just work, socialize, and commerce with the computer. For being a game from 1999, it’s crazy how much it was able to predict aspects of not just a post-online world, but a post-covid lock-down internet world.
Seaman is memed a lot, and I don’t blame people, I mean the creator put his own goddamn face on a fish (and the insects you feed it, too!!), but just because you can find small humor and oddities in the challenge that life brings doesn’t take away the impact it still has.
I loved my Seaman. It’s something I think about weekly, wondering how it’s doing out in its virtual world outside the box I raised it in. Seaman is not real, but the impact it left on me certainly was, and I’ll never forget it.
4.5/5
Life Makeover
2022
I think a lot of people (mid-range cope) dream of a robust, visually gorgeous, user-friendly, scrimblo wardrobe simulator. A thingamabob that you can build OCs with, and let you choose from a wide range of clothes to drip them out in and pose and rotate to your heart’s content. Anybody who’s spent ungodly amount of time in /gpose knows this, the people who use Koikatsu also know this but won’t readily admit it.
My experience with fashion games - namely Love Nikki and Style Savvy kind of highlights that the entire concept of gamifying the subjectivity of fashion is something of a mug’s game. They all crumble in the exact same way, by the fact that challenges posed by the game i.e. “make an outfit with X theme” always falls to using the ingame search function and highlighting the exact tags it’s asking for, then selecting the best article of clothing in each category. What else are you going to do, actually plot out an outfit that bangs? This dumb bitch algorithm doesn’t know what colour schemes are, mismatching, wrong sizing for the body type, etc. The outfit you submit will receive a score and it will Never make sense. Your character will look like a biblically accurate secondhand rug store but you’ll Perfect the mission and you’ll learn to like it - because you’re Powergaming - it's all a means to an end: to see ur OC in a new story mission reward jacket that will tie everything together.
It’s not great!! The fact that this is a mobile game gives Life Makeover carte blanche to take the absolute piss. Your progress isn’t gated by your style savviness and outfit co-ordination, but entirely by you not having high enough arbitrarily-graded clothes. This is where the gatcha stuff comes in and I don’t even need to tell you that it’s stingy as fuck because you’d already have guessed. Why do I need to grind so much to dye the clothes too jesus christ show some mercy. I’d honestly recommend playing a hacked .apk of the game if I knew those existed.
I’ve played Life Makeover back at release on mobile briefly, and again now that it’s gotten a fully-fledged PC port. Man I think this game is so pretty. I love how detailed every article of clothing is, I love how the physics makes the multi-layered dresses and hair flow. This being a game developed in China there’s a pretty strong lean towards incredibly well-rendered opulent traditional hanfu clothing, which is inexplicably the most 'overpowered' clothing in any situation, it’s pretty funny but I respect it. Love the wildly undercooked Sims-lite homebuilding thing it has going on too. Love the awful murder mystery storyline with a first-pass translation that the voice actors were clearly not allowed to stray from. Given enough time & patience and hopefully none of your money, you rack up a surprisingly varied array of clothes and then you can finally play the game, which is to just make nice fits. Is it WORTH all of that effort? No, but
My experience with fashion games - namely Love Nikki and Style Savvy kind of highlights that the entire concept of gamifying the subjectivity of fashion is something of a mug’s game. They all crumble in the exact same way, by the fact that challenges posed by the game i.e. “make an outfit with X theme” always falls to using the ingame search function and highlighting the exact tags it’s asking for, then selecting the best article of clothing in each category. What else are you going to do, actually plot out an outfit that bangs? This dumb bitch algorithm doesn’t know what colour schemes are, mismatching, wrong sizing for the body type, etc. The outfit you submit will receive a score and it will Never make sense. Your character will look like a biblically accurate secondhand rug store but you’ll Perfect the mission and you’ll learn to like it - because you’re Powergaming - it's all a means to an end: to see ur OC in a new story mission reward jacket that will tie everything together.
It’s not great!! The fact that this is a mobile game gives Life Makeover carte blanche to take the absolute piss. Your progress isn’t gated by your style savviness and outfit co-ordination, but entirely by you not having high enough arbitrarily-graded clothes. This is where the gatcha stuff comes in and I don’t even need to tell you that it’s stingy as fuck because you’d already have guessed. Why do I need to grind so much to dye the clothes too jesus christ show some mercy. I’d honestly recommend playing a hacked .apk of the game if I knew those existed.
I’ve played Life Makeover back at release on mobile briefly, and again now that it’s gotten a fully-fledged PC port. Man I think this game is so pretty. I love how detailed every article of clothing is, I love how the physics makes the multi-layered dresses and hair flow. This being a game developed in China there’s a pretty strong lean towards incredibly well-rendered opulent traditional hanfu clothing, which is inexplicably the most 'overpowered' clothing in any situation, it’s pretty funny but I respect it. Love the wildly undercooked Sims-lite homebuilding thing it has going on too. Love the awful murder mystery storyline with a first-pass translation that the voice actors were clearly not allowed to stray from. Given enough time & patience and hopefully none of your money, you rack up a surprisingly varied array of clothes and then you can finally play the game, which is to just make nice fits. Is it WORTH all of that effort? No, but
Her Story
2015
Unique and interesting way to dissect a short murder mystery. I can agree with other reviewers that the plot is not the most distinctive, and the acting can be a little awkward at times, but the gameplay aspect is really neat, and pretty immersive. That is what got me most invested. I recommend trying this visual novel out when it goes on sale for around $1 on Steam, as in full it is only around 1-2 hours long. Get that with a Costco hot dog meal, and you got yourself an entertaining $5 evening for the night (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b
3/5
3/5
Art Style: Rotozoa
2010
They called this shit Penta Tentacles in Europe lol. Out of all of these Art Style games, I honestly think this one is my fav!
Rotozoa shares some similarities with Thatgamecompany's flOw, surprisingly (to me) enough, but with far more of a puzzle game-y spin on the formula of wading across the primordial ooze eating plankton and amoebas. What is essentially just a colour matching challenge can become pretty engrossing with some smart engagement design that stacks wonderfully as you're tasked with an increasing amount of plates to spin. All 35 stages have their own unique bgm, upon which layers are added and excited depending on how much you've grown and how much you're wrecking shop, it's pretty charming!
It's a shame Skip didn't stay active for very long after the release of Rotozoa - you could tell this studio was bustling with ideas. Skip's Art Style / Bit Generation titles very rarely feel as though they've had enough backing to push them past the concept phase, which can certainly be a bit of a charm point, as I genuinely believe that their projects still present themselves incredibly uniquely. Their titles have this confusing, stripped-back air of something that'd appear on your DSi one morning to confuse and scare the piss out of you as if you've just been airdropped some alien spyware. From what I've played or achieved, Rotozoa is the only one of their titles that lives so long it has its own credits sequence.
Rotozoa shares some similarities with Thatgamecompany's flOw, surprisingly (to me) enough, but with far more of a puzzle game-y spin on the formula of wading across the primordial ooze eating plankton and amoebas. What is essentially just a colour matching challenge can become pretty engrossing with some smart engagement design that stacks wonderfully as you're tasked with an increasing amount of plates to spin. All 35 stages have their own unique bgm, upon which layers are added and excited depending on how much you've grown and how much you're wrecking shop, it's pretty charming!
It's a shame Skip didn't stay active for very long after the release of Rotozoa - you could tell this studio was bustling with ideas. Skip's Art Style / Bit Generation titles very rarely feel as though they've had enough backing to push them past the concept phase, which can certainly be a bit of a charm point, as I genuinely believe that their projects still present themselves incredibly uniquely. Their titles have this confusing, stripped-back air of something that'd appear on your DSi one morning to confuse and scare the piss out of you as if you've just been airdropped some alien spyware. From what I've played or achieved, Rotozoa is the only one of their titles that lives so long it has its own credits sequence.
Sonic the Hedgehog 2
1992
Call me Vee....Captain Vee.....
It's been about thirty years give or take since I had encountered that ghastly damn fiddler crab. I trudged and shuffled my way through hill tops, chemical plants, casinos, and even oil spills to find all those sparkly gemstones competing in those half pipe challenges. The challenges themselves were quite a treat back in those days. They're a tad fumbly bumbly visiting them now, and the bombs are quite dastardly placed. I wouldn't expect any less from that egg-ish bastard, but that crab took everything from me. My time, my money, my gems, as well as my leg. That crabominable nincompoop took it off when I tried to jump on him, I don't know how he hit me, but he did. Underhanded he was, that's why as of this paragraph I have gone off on my expedition to track down that bloody wanker. I'm gonna get him back for what he did, I will have my revenge...
Been about a weeks worth of travel on the range, we stopped at the casino as a resting stop after my fox companion nearly got tetanus from a Grounder jumping out of the wall in those ruins earlier. Crafty bunch they are, constantly talking about buckets of chicken for some reason too. After I lost all of my rings diving headfirst into an oversized slot machine, we continued onward through the caves dodging those damn lightning bugs. We were getting closer though, closer to his habitat. I could smell the fumes of discarded fossil fuel, past this ocean, we will be within his lair. It's a shame no one has yet to do something about all this oil, I wonder if it's the seahorses keeping the cleaning crews at bay...their cheesy poof spitball can knock an echidna on their arse.
After a couple hours we finally made it, the fabled Metropolis Zone, often mistakenly known as "Genocide City" by some goers. Sounds like something owned by a blonde arms dealing supervillain living in a Nimitz-class supercarrier. My foxy companion was nearly knocked off the lug nut elevator that we were using by an exploding starfish, that's how I knew we were even closer. The music was awfully catchy for such a dangerous area, no idea where it was coming from. I can only assume that crab was behind it. We searched high and low for what seemed like hours.......perhaps even days....but then, it happened. I spotted him. Perched up on the ledge like he was last time, the crustaceous criminal.
Shellcracker. Shellcracker.....
There's no mistaking it, I could never forget such a smarmy little fucker. You could get an entire team of astrophysicists and mathematicians to construct a diagram of when and how this damn crab's hitboxes function, but they still wouldn't be able to figure it out. Baffled beyond recognition at the thievery of which this arthropod operates, science couldn't possibly understand it. I couldn't either, but I had to get it. My revenge. I cannot allow him to continue his antics, who knows how many countless others he has stolen from. How many lives ruined. All by this fiddling fiddler's debauchery and scandalous behavior. I ushered my kitsune cohort to hand me my spear...and I could see Shellcracker's eyes narrow, he knew it was me....I have come for him....only one will leave this area alive. The hunt is on....
My heart was racing, the adrenaline was pumping, the memories of our last encounter rushed back to haunt me. I took my trusty spear and clutched it in my dominant hand, I readied my aim at my arch nemesis. Shellcracker did nothing but sneer at me in confidence, his gigantic claw was ready to lunge at me any second now. I was at a disadvantage, but I was determined, determined to crack his shell. We glared at each other for eons, waiting for one of us to make the first move. Birds flew out of the trees that had somehow grown in this factory, and I suddenly saw his pincer rush toward me. My life flashed before my eyes, and I jumped skywards out of the way for my dear life. In the air, it felt like time had frozen. I could see him below me, now was my chance. I threw my damned spear as hard as I could, straight for his mug. I couldn't even see straight, after only a second I heard a loud "POOF" afterwards. After landing, I took a quick glance back at the enemy, a thick cloud of smoke where he once was. It was done, my revenge is complete. Shellcracker....has been cracked.....
After the smoke cleared however, a rabbit hobbled out of the wreckage of what was once a sinister shellfish. They looked at me for a few seconds, with an odd look that unsettled me. They seemed thankful, thankful that I had defeated them... something I was unprepared for. The rabbit ran off without a care, leaving me there with an almost empty feel. I got my revenge...a selfish act for sure, one that I knew made me no better than the crab, but... was it truly as selfish as that shellfish? I wonder how I would've felt if I had not seen that rabbit afterwards. I took a ponder to this during our return trip home. Riding the gondola down the skies of Hill Top, I remembered all those moments from our last adventure. The journey through the Chemical Plant outracing that vile blue jelly, exploring those aquatic ruins nearly getting my face taken off by an arrow... it's quite odd. My eyes became heavy as I stared off into the sunset, tears were felt running down my cheeks as I looked again at my new keepsake that was his claw. I spoke to him.
"Thank you for the memories, old chum."
It's been about thirty years give or take since I had encountered that ghastly damn fiddler crab. I trudged and shuffled my way through hill tops, chemical plants, casinos, and even oil spills to find all those sparkly gemstones competing in those half pipe challenges. The challenges themselves were quite a treat back in those days. They're a tad fumbly bumbly visiting them now, and the bombs are quite dastardly placed. I wouldn't expect any less from that egg-ish bastard, but that crab took everything from me. My time, my money, my gems, as well as my leg. That crabominable nincompoop took it off when I tried to jump on him, I don't know how he hit me, but he did. Underhanded he was, that's why as of this paragraph I have gone off on my expedition to track down that bloody wanker. I'm gonna get him back for what he did, I will have my revenge...
Been about a weeks worth of travel on the range, we stopped at the casino as a resting stop after my fox companion nearly got tetanus from a Grounder jumping out of the wall in those ruins earlier. Crafty bunch they are, constantly talking about buckets of chicken for some reason too. After I lost all of my rings diving headfirst into an oversized slot machine, we continued onward through the caves dodging those damn lightning bugs. We were getting closer though, closer to his habitat. I could smell the fumes of discarded fossil fuel, past this ocean, we will be within his lair. It's a shame no one has yet to do something about all this oil, I wonder if it's the seahorses keeping the cleaning crews at bay...their cheesy poof spitball can knock an echidna on their arse.
After a couple hours we finally made it, the fabled Metropolis Zone, often mistakenly known as "Genocide City" by some goers. Sounds like something owned by a blonde arms dealing supervillain living in a Nimitz-class supercarrier. My foxy companion was nearly knocked off the lug nut elevator that we were using by an exploding starfish, that's how I knew we were even closer. The music was awfully catchy for such a dangerous area, no idea where it was coming from. I can only assume that crab was behind it. We searched high and low for what seemed like hours.......perhaps even days....but then, it happened. I spotted him. Perched up on the ledge like he was last time, the crustaceous criminal.
Shellcracker. Shellcracker.....
There's no mistaking it, I could never forget such a smarmy little fucker. You could get an entire team of astrophysicists and mathematicians to construct a diagram of when and how this damn crab's hitboxes function, but they still wouldn't be able to figure it out. Baffled beyond recognition at the thievery of which this arthropod operates, science couldn't possibly understand it. I couldn't either, but I had to get it. My revenge. I cannot allow him to continue his antics, who knows how many countless others he has stolen from. How many lives ruined. All by this fiddling fiddler's debauchery and scandalous behavior. I ushered my kitsune cohort to hand me my spear...and I could see Shellcracker's eyes narrow, he knew it was me....I have come for him....only one will leave this area alive. The hunt is on....
My heart was racing, the adrenaline was pumping, the memories of our last encounter rushed back to haunt me. I took my trusty spear and clutched it in my dominant hand, I readied my aim at my arch nemesis. Shellcracker did nothing but sneer at me in confidence, his gigantic claw was ready to lunge at me any second now. I was at a disadvantage, but I was determined, determined to crack his shell. We glared at each other for eons, waiting for one of us to make the first move. Birds flew out of the trees that had somehow grown in this factory, and I suddenly saw his pincer rush toward me. My life flashed before my eyes, and I jumped skywards out of the way for my dear life. In the air, it felt like time had frozen. I could see him below me, now was my chance. I threw my damned spear as hard as I could, straight for his mug. I couldn't even see straight, after only a second I heard a loud "POOF" afterwards. After landing, I took a quick glance back at the enemy, a thick cloud of smoke where he once was. It was done, my revenge is complete. Shellcracker....has been cracked.....
After the smoke cleared however, a rabbit hobbled out of the wreckage of what was once a sinister shellfish. They looked at me for a few seconds, with an odd look that unsettled me. They seemed thankful, thankful that I had defeated them... something I was unprepared for. The rabbit ran off without a care, leaving me there with an almost empty feel. I got my revenge...a selfish act for sure, one that I knew made me no better than the crab, but... was it truly as selfish as that shellfish? I wonder how I would've felt if I had not seen that rabbit afterwards. I took a ponder to this during our return trip home. Riding the gondola down the skies of Hill Top, I remembered all those moments from our last adventure. The journey through the Chemical Plant outracing that vile blue jelly, exploring those aquatic ruins nearly getting my face taken off by an arrow... it's quite odd. My eyes became heavy as I stared off into the sunset, tears were felt running down my cheeks as I looked again at my new keepsake that was his claw. I spoke to him.
"Thank you for the memories, old chum."
ThruSpace
2010
Now this is Puregaming.
Only learned of ThruSpace while haplessly browsing the now-threadbare wii dot com website out of sheer curiosity. A little official relic of late 00's web design, true to Nintendo's branding and visual language during the Wii era - Latestage Frutiger Aero, Hospital-core, perfectly scaled to suit for your 1024x768 XGA monitor. It's nice, I still love it! Anyway, I looked through the WiiWare page on the still-functioning Japanese wing of the website and the featured titles look great. I was aware of the Bit Generations' gorgeous minimalist games being on the GBA, but they also have WiiWare ports??? I gotta get into somethn!!!!
ThruSpace is dictionary definition neat. A snug 10 mb game w/ no fat. You get your cubes and you get a corridor and you will learn to love them. Not a whole lot to really wax poetic about, it's a simple shape rotation game where you position your tetromino as best you can to maximise your score, with extra feats to strive for in speed, accuracy, and painting the whole gap in if u dare. Looks absolute minty phresh, easy 2 learn hard 2 master. Ultimately I think this is great but find myself losing my grip on the shape's orientation very easily because of how few focal points you're given, I spent a lot of my time panic spinning.
Here's some gameplay from someone only a fraction as good as I am: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1yao_PBRnQ
Only learned of ThruSpace while haplessly browsing the now-threadbare wii dot com website out of sheer curiosity. A little official relic of late 00's web design, true to Nintendo's branding and visual language during the Wii era - Latestage Frutiger Aero, Hospital-core, perfectly scaled to suit for your 1024x768 XGA monitor. It's nice, I still love it! Anyway, I looked through the WiiWare page on the still-functioning Japanese wing of the website and the featured titles look great. I was aware of the Bit Generations' gorgeous minimalist games being on the GBA, but they also have WiiWare ports??? I gotta get into somethn!!!!
ThruSpace is dictionary definition neat. A snug 10 mb game w/ no fat. You get your cubes and you get a corridor and you will learn to love them. Not a whole lot to really wax poetic about, it's a simple shape rotation game where you position your tetromino as best you can to maximise your score, with extra feats to strive for in speed, accuracy, and painting the whole gap in if u dare. Looks absolute minty phresh, easy 2 learn hard 2 master. Ultimately I think this is great but find myself losing my grip on the shape's orientation very easily because of how few focal points you're given, I spent a lot of my time panic spinning.
Here's some gameplay from someone only a fraction as good as I am: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1yao_PBRnQ