TheEmeraldStar
144 Reviews liked by TheEmeraldStar
Team Fortress 2
2007
To all the smug little poindexters that recommend this boring ass series every time someone mentions SMT or some other dungeon crawler:
1. May the Universe itself conspire against you, strike you down, and rend your Soul asunder, such that your Body fades away with the sands of Time, and your Soul is confined to the holy Purgatory outside the Realm of existence, where the full weight of your new Nonexistence will be laid bare, now and forevermore. You will come to be intimate with the Event Horizon that stradles the edge of Infinity and Nothingness. Even the indomitable promise of Time will falter, and your very thoughts will abandon you. Peace will be nothing more than a forlong Dream from a time long past in the godless place; there will be no forgiveness, no solace. No, only the oppressive horror of Oblivion will remain.
2. Your jordans are fake
1. May the Universe itself conspire against you, strike you down, and rend your Soul asunder, such that your Body fades away with the sands of Time, and your Soul is confined to the holy Purgatory outside the Realm of existence, where the full weight of your new Nonexistence will be laid bare, now and forevermore. You will come to be intimate with the Event Horizon that stradles the edge of Infinity and Nothingness. Even the indomitable promise of Time will falter, and your very thoughts will abandon you. Peace will be nothing more than a forlong Dream from a time long past in the godless place; there will be no forgiveness, no solace. No, only the oppressive horror of Oblivion will remain.
2. Your jordans are fake
Beyond Good & Evil
2003
Halo: Combat Evolved
2001
Punch-Out!!
2009
Battleborn
2016
Spyro the Dragon
2018
it is essentially a time-killer, you just do it not because it's particularly fun or entertaining but because the asmr feeling you get everytime you collect gems is enough of a dopamine boost to keep you going. the visuals are pretty cute, even though i fucking hate spyro and want him dead... umm some of the platforming was pretty fun too but who the hell greenlit that one stage where you have to charge forward on all those platforms and do those weird twists and turns? you know the one. everyone knows the one. it's not particularly difficult. there's not much of an incentive to 100% the game. i just did it because i hate myself ... umm 6/10 ? maybe ? it's ok