I HATE THE OCEAN
THIS PLACE IS BEAUTIFUL.....BUT I HATE IT....

looks down and sees nothing
Hears nearby roaring

I HATE THE OCEAN...I HATE THOSE WHO INHABIT IT.

Soul game

You will never experience Life until you play this game of Life.
This game is metatextual. "The Game of Life". I get it, we are emulating Life. I understand - from age 20 or so to retirement age - we move across the board. We go to college. Maybe not. We move at speeds seemingly within and beyond our control. We get married. We buy the house. We reproduce. Twins? No problem for me. We endure hardships. The game of Life, no-

Our Game of Life.
This is your Life. This is our Life. This game is Life. The game of Life. We're just living in it.

"Why would we download a windows 98 virtual box to emulate this when we can just launch tabletop simulator?"

I respond to this with not only a warning, but a threat.
Don't speak to me ever again - or I will take your life. If you die, this review can be used in court to corroborate this claim. (I am the judge)

This game exudes soul. So much so, that playing Life on tabletop simulator is not only soulless, but is singlehandedly the determining factor for the millennia of torment you will endure in the afterlife.

Let's get one thing straight:
>I'm a doctor
>I break my leg - that'll cost $5,000
>I frown. I needed that money. My family needed that. I'll have to work overtime on Christmas because of this. I grimace. "The absolute state of healthcare in America.."
>I pause....I realize something.
>I am the doctor.
>I write a $5,000 check to myself with a smile so bright, it could melt the icecaps.

Experience Life.

Great game.

RE7 is more akin to RE1 whereas this game is more akin to RE4 (rare opinion, I know).
I prefer 7 overall, and I'm thinking I prefer this game over 4. It overall feels like 4-5 segmented games from all over the RE franchise, along with utilizing types of horror possibly never utilized in RE before. I would take the factory any day over the very final bits in RE4. I personally think the Castle was the strongest point.
I played on hardcore and it was basically the best difficulty to add any sort of tension. The only exception is the very first encounter which is a bit fucked on hardcore. After that, it immediately balances out.

Random bullet points:

• Why did people simp over the big booba momma when there are 3 goth girls that lick you before attacking and talk about eating your "man-meat"? Oh well, more for me LOL :PP
• I honestly prefer Chris Redfield in a support role more than him in 5 or 6. I'm all for new protagonists in this franchise.
• They tried replicating the inventory system from 4....! And they failed. Putting key items and crafting items into a pocket void was boring and I managed my inventory a total of 0 times throughout my run. I love managing my inventory. Bring back the item box and remove this "improvement" and I would have been pogging at my screen.
• One of the more enjoyable plots from an RE game?

Fun game.

However, Blizzard can fellate itself and suck shit straight out of my ass via vacuum with this current monetization.

Anyone that hates the old lootbox system and idly says so is an actual putz who has no idea what they're talking about. "I hate putting a moderate amount of time into a game and getting like 40% of the legendary items." NEVER SPEAK. If you say both are bad - you are still WEAK AND SMALL. The lootbox system was FINE. "Three blues and a white!' I will literally make your face three blues and a white SHUT UP.

-5 more points for keeping phar-mercy untouched because the professionals can deal with it.
-1 more point for getting rid of "Avoid this player" because it created the loneliest widowmaker in the world (how did this happen? no one knows).
-1 more point for getting rid of player cards (How else can I tell the enemy team that they need to leave the planet?).
-1 more point for nerfing McCree so hard that he became literally useless, while making the characters he countered reign free (Flashbang was probably the least offensive CC - unless you're a wee ninja main).

Here's some of my thoughts (I beat Leon, Chris and half of Sherrys campaigns):

• This is the worst mainline resident evil game.
• This is the longest resident evil game (probably). This is a bad thing.
• You WILL play this with a friend. It will STILL not be fun.
• I played a scripted chase sequence for like an hour because the requisites for completing it were very funny. The epic action set piece that could have been a cutscene turned into a literal chore. This bit required no actual skill from the player.
• I spent every single mission (40-60 minutes each) praying that the end would arrive.
• Positive note - Leon's partner had a fatty!

Genuinely, don't play this game.

SHAGGY: "SHAQUILLE O'NEILLE, WE GOTTA POUND DOWN ON STEVEN UNIVERSE"

SHAQUILLE O'NEILLE: "FIRST, WE GOTTA TAKE CARE OF WINNIE THE POOH"

shut the fuck up guys I quit

The best shooter ever created.

"But this game sucks!"

Yeah