114 reviews liked by WitchDoctorate


i like this game (and i will leave it at that). i do not like the terfy little chuds on this site who will think i'm on their side simply because i like this game. fuck them and fuck bobby kotick.

what if danganronpa had good writing

coining the "overwatch effect" where you absolutely hate a game but can't stop playing

oh god I hope the steak I'm cooking isn't gonna turn out raw

the steak in question:

This is like if cum had gameplay

I pulled two all nighters playing this

Although Iron Giant shouldn’t be fighting, the fact that he’s paired with Superman shows that someone on the development team actually watched Iron Giant which is more than you can say for Ready Player One

Love revisiting this amorphous blob of skinner box contente every hundred-or-so days to see it take on a whole new form, almost unrecognisable to the one I experienced prior. The closest I'll get to channel hopping custom maps in TF2.
On one hand this fuckin game is an embarrassing heap of licences, brands and monetization. Stealing content from internet creators and selling them as pristinely packaged Emotes N Skins, gentrifying the culture of the moment into what is essentially a 33gb Nerf Gun advert.

On the other, there's a relative level of generosity on the user level that strings me along in a way that I need brain correction to effectively fight against. I bought one (1) season pass back in 2017 and have been able to afford every subsequent one through their rewards scheme. When the nefariously intended FOMO kicks in I still know they have my back to keep me a regular. The island of Fortnite goes through drastic changes with a suspicious enough regularity that I'm assuming the devs are crunching nonstop to keep the ship afloat. Entire mechanics and equipment can be introduced to the pool only to be removed without fanfare a few weeks later - They flooded the island and made a Waterworld season because why not. Should also be noted that Fortnite has a history of stealing unique mechanics from competitors hacking them in for themself.

This frustratingly enjoyable mid level engagement is kind of peculiar for me because my preference will always be single-player games, and I think Fortnite accommodates people like me, without a competitive bone in their body, by orienting a good three-quarters of the quest system around things that aren't related to combat. My sticking point with most of these games are that they just don't know when to chill, look at all the challenges on Apex or something, they're all different flavours of "deal xxx damage with x weapon". I throw on a movie or podcast and carve a path across the world map gathering materials, speaking to NPCs, doing environmental puzzles and prop hunts and finish a match in 3rd place under two rival streamers hopped up on GFuel haunted by the spirits of great architects, and still gain enough exp to unlock a handful of Battle Pass rewards. I unlocked Lara Croft by ringing doorbells until they broke. Help!!!!!!!
Also I know this will be contentious but I just straight up like the way the game looks. Any skin that isn't default is so meticulously modelled and textured it blows me away, the lighting as the day/nite cycle rolls over the trees and fog in the marsh and the autumn trees and the lakes and!!!!!! i could eat the screen and it'd taste like skittles. Anyway im logging this as mastered because i got 10 kills on the board right now.

Me when I'm playing as Lebron James and I get knocked by Master Chief but my teammate Travis Scott kills Master Chief and Naruto but Travis Scott gets killed by Rick from Rick & Morty but then