ZestyJalapeno
238 Reviews liked by ZestyJalapeno
Resident Evil 2
1998
Not as scary as it's prequel but I honestly can't even be mad when we Kamiya tapped in hard on the cornier aspects of Resident Evil making it about Leon and his hot twink adventures running away from Tyrant
Half-Life: Uplink
1999
While playing this, I thought "Wow, it's like a mini Half Life! How cool!" then I thought "Gee Matt, really? Almost like it's a demo specifically created to just show off Half Life."
CSGO is the type of game you put 300 hours into and then wake up one day and decide to never play it again
Made many, many attempts to play it, but none so successful as this. Great levels, crunchy graphics, and one of the best-feeling E-11 rifles in games. Nothing quite like blasting space fash in DOS.
Super Mario 64
1996
trying to come up with the most fucked up review to get all the Mario fans pissed off at me
"Uh Mario is lame and a loser"
the crowd flies into rage as I'm drowned in my own blood, but the fellow Mario haters quietly nod their heads in approval
"Uh Mario is lame and a loser"
the crowd flies into rage as I'm drowned in my own blood, but the fellow Mario haters quietly nod their heads in approval
whoever designed the final level can go suck the balls in the mario zone.
Spec Ops: The Line
2012
the video game equivalent of asking you to spell "icup" out loud
Broforce
2015
You haven't lived your full life until you've played this clusterfuck.
Super Mario Bros. 3
1988
This is MY certified hood classic. Maybe the game that made me fall in love with video games all those years ago. One of the best examples of a perfect video game.
The Last of Us
2013
A game permeated with shame: not just through the course of the story, which is fine, but in its very design: there is a disgraceful amount of self-hatred in modern videogame storytelling, as if they would much rather be movies or television shows, but organization gatekeeping forces them to an interactive medium. The Last of Us is a game designed in a manner not dissimilar to the worst of early 2010s prestige TV (think, like, Low Winter Sun) but with lazy video game time-filler like "collect 40 dog tags."
If you like zombie stories, it's a good zombie story. But if you like good video game stories, it is very much not one, and the praise for its narrative is antithetical to the development of gaming as its own medium capable of rich, emotionally fulfilling tales.
If you like zombie stories, it's a good zombie story. But if you like good video game stories, it is very much not one, and the praise for its narrative is antithetical to the development of gaming as its own medium capable of rich, emotionally fulfilling tales.
i dont have Ppllayiostation 4.
This game predicted Funko Pops.
JFK Reloaded
2004
This happened to my buddy Eric