_Ryu
2012
I've been streaming this game with a friend and we got bamboozled by the "disable adult content" option on the menu. After the first H-scene with Emi, we got caught off-guard by her naked sprite appearing, turns out this mode only censors the sex scenes with CGs. I was in a state of shock while my friend screamed out of her lungs at first and then proceeded to enter a laughing fit while I desperately searched for the game capture source on OBS so I could take that shit off the screen before Youtube fucks me over.
Thank you Four Leaf Studios.
Thank you Four Leaf Studios.
I hate seeing Fullmetal Alchemist's opening song being associated with this shit instead of Fullmetal Alchemist
This review contains spoilers
I remember scrolling through the Metacritic page for Nier Automata and finding a 5/10 review that says exactly this:
"Loads of interesting ideas and plenty of good intentions, but nothing sticks. It’s like it was made by a team of people with super short attention spans. They’d come up with a good idea, carry it half way, then get distracted by another thought, and do it all over again until ending up with an unfocused, unsatisfying, incomplete product."
After finally getting to play this game and finishing all the routes for myself, I can say that I totally see where this guy is coming from, the story is an amalgamation of very intriguing themes that don't get explored beyond surface-level, populated by bland one-note main characters whose substance seems to be mostly found in external media instead of the actual game. I honestly laughed at most of the attempts at sad scenes, like where characters like Eve and 9S become cartoonishly angry after experiencing loss in separate moments of the story, which I thought was meant to be a parallel at first with Eve going insane while 9S learns to deal with his grief and finds a new purpose in life, but nah, that's not how it went at all, instead we got two characters going through essentially the same story. Credit where it's due, there are some great scenes/moments, like the start of route C which was a strong set-up for what was ultimately an underwhelming story, the last main quest at Pascal's Village was also one of my favorite moments in the game. Now that I think about it, Pascal might be the only character I actually gave a shit about, his endgame genuinely broke my heart a bit.
Anyway, the lore and the setting are by far the best parts of this whole narrative, a lot of sidequests unironically offer better stories than the main one and add more to the overall worldbuilding, this was mainly what kept me playing, especially the sidequests that involved characters from the original Nier. The twists regarding the setting and the whole story behind the battle between Yorha and the machines are genuinely fantastic, I just wish it was tied to a story and characters that actually complemented those elements well.
Oh, and the gameplay, which is mostly pretty fun, Platinum Games combat is satisfying even if it's toned down a notch to suit an Action RPG, though the combat becomes button-mashy as hell once you get some really good battle chips and pod abilities that favor this approach. The genre shifts to 2D platforming and bullet hell sections keep the game from becoming too repetitive without overstaying their welcome either, so it's generally well done in that regard. It also has some god tier music, but that's expected from MONACA, who always does a fantastic job at whatever thing they compose for.
But yeah, I didn't outright hate Nier Automata, in fact I think a 5/10 score like that reviewer gave it is a bit harsh, a 6 feels more appropriate. It might be more polished than the original Nier, but honestly I'd much rather have a less polished game that actually makes me feel something than a more polished game I'll be having a decent time with, but then probably forget about it after a couple of weeks. Sure, if you love this game and found it to be this incredibly deep and philosophical masterpiece, good to you, but I personally felt a bit let down by the time I was destroying the credits.
"Loads of interesting ideas and plenty of good intentions, but nothing sticks. It’s like it was made by a team of people with super short attention spans. They’d come up with a good idea, carry it half way, then get distracted by another thought, and do it all over again until ending up with an unfocused, unsatisfying, incomplete product."
After finally getting to play this game and finishing all the routes for myself, I can say that I totally see where this guy is coming from, the story is an amalgamation of very intriguing themes that don't get explored beyond surface-level, populated by bland one-note main characters whose substance seems to be mostly found in external media instead of the actual game. I honestly laughed at most of the attempts at sad scenes, like where characters like Eve and 9S become cartoonishly angry after experiencing loss in separate moments of the story, which I thought was meant to be a parallel at first with Eve going insane while 9S learns to deal with his grief and finds a new purpose in life, but nah, that's not how it went at all, instead we got two characters going through essentially the same story. Credit where it's due, there are some great scenes/moments, like the start of route C which was a strong set-up for what was ultimately an underwhelming story, the last main quest at Pascal's Village was also one of my favorite moments in the game. Now that I think about it, Pascal might be the only character I actually gave a shit about, his endgame genuinely broke my heart a bit.
Anyway, the lore and the setting are by far the best parts of this whole narrative, a lot of sidequests unironically offer better stories than the main one and add more to the overall worldbuilding, this was mainly what kept me playing, especially the sidequests that involved characters from the original Nier. The twists regarding the setting and the whole story behind the battle between Yorha and the machines are genuinely fantastic, I just wish it was tied to a story and characters that actually complemented those elements well.
Oh, and the gameplay, which is mostly pretty fun, Platinum Games combat is satisfying even if it's toned down a notch to suit an Action RPG, though the combat becomes button-mashy as hell once you get some really good battle chips and pod abilities that favor this approach. The genre shifts to 2D platforming and bullet hell sections keep the game from becoming too repetitive without overstaying their welcome either, so it's generally well done in that regard. It also has some god tier music, but that's expected from MONACA, who always does a fantastic job at whatever thing they compose for.
But yeah, I didn't outright hate Nier Automata, in fact I think a 5/10 score like that reviewer gave it is a bit harsh, a 6 feels more appropriate. It might be more polished than the original Nier, but honestly I'd much rather have a less polished game that actually makes me feel something than a more polished game I'll be having a decent time with, but then probably forget about it after a couple of weeks. Sure, if you love this game and found it to be this incredibly deep and philosophical masterpiece, good to you, but I personally felt a bit let down by the time I was destroying the credits.
I remember spending a lot of time dicking around in Beast's stage because I just loved the music and wanted to keep listening to it
One of my favorite stealth games from one of my favorite devs back in the 90s to early 2010s, Shinobido is basically what was born after Tenchu and Way of the Samurai got very much into each other and went to a motel to spend the night. Shinobido offers a gripping story involving the political struggle between three powerful feudal lords for the province of Utakata intersecting the personal story of main character Goh the Crow, an amnesiac ninja from the nearly-extinct Asuka clan who needs to look for mysterious glowing stones known as the Soul Fragments, each revealing a piece of his memories as he finds out what happened to his clan and the villains behind the incident.
While Goh's story is linear, the political plot surrounding Utakata is completely molded by your decisions as you're free to accept missions from any of the three feudal lords Ichijo, Akame or Sadame anytime you want, the more missions you accomplish, the more a feudal lord will trust you and the more you'll get to know about their faction and even them as people. You can be loyal to one of them, you can just accept whatever mission pays more, you can betray any of them, it really is up to you to decide what to do when it comes to this part of the game. The journal shows how your choices mold the outcome of the war for Utakata as it greatly affects each lord's army, their thoughts on the matters that get highlighted in the journal, as well as their thoughts on you personally.
Shinobido's gameplay has a bit of that PS2-era jank with dumb enemy AI, camera issues in areas that are too cramped and some collision-related oddities. However, I got used to that jank in a few minutes as I was replaying this game and found myself stealth-killing and fighting without any major issues. Honestly, that was my main concern at first, I feared Shinobido might not be as good as I remembered, since quite a handful of PS2 games I used to love back then (Drakengard, Chaos Legion, Sonic Heroes, Cold Fear) don't really hold up. Regardless, Shinobido's combat is simple, but competent enough, you have a few sword combos which do a decent job at dealing damage to enemies, but being a stealth game, what Shinobido really expects you to do is being stealthy and using tools to deal with enemies instead of just charging at them with your sword like you're Ryu Hayabusa or something.
Shinobido has a variety of tools you can use for a lot of purposes both in and out of combat. Shurikens, caltrops, grappling hooks, potions you can use to heal or buff yourself, as well as spheres you can use to either explode on enemies and cause damage that way, or cause debuffs, which comes in handy when there are a lot of them in one place. Be careful however, because if you're close to the sphere's smoke, you'll get debuffed yourself. You can also use food as bait to lure enemies to a specific place, use a remote-controlled magnetic chick which can either distract enemies or be used to recon the area while it lasts before you decide what to do. Hell, there's an alchemy system where you use ingredients to create your own potions and spheres with unique effects, but I suck at that and got too lazy to look up a tutorial to see how it works, but it's cool that this is there!
Where Shinobido actually falters, however, is in the variety of the missions you're tasked with. It may seem varied at first since there are many types of missions like total destruction, assassination, theft, kidnapping, rescue, attacking supply carts, defending supply carts, defending generals or even one of the feudal lords... However, a lot of these missions end up getting repetitive and samey after a while, even when the game does spice things up after the first few chapters by introducing other ninja clans in the enemy's ranks. I totally understand people who get tired of this game because of the repetitive missions, as well as the pace-breaking enemy invasions on Goh's hideout, which has to be the most poorly-hidden hideout ever since everyone can find this place, apparently.
I personally did get bothered by that, but not enough for my experience to be negatively affected, I was still very much invested the whole way through. Maybe more mission types or more unique missions would have done wonders to make Shinobido feel less tale after a while, but eh, I'll take what I'm being given, plus I had a great time playing around with the ragdoll physics of the enemy corpses, as well as turning Goh himself into a ragdoll with one of the cheat codes that get unlocked when I beat the game, it's hilarious.
That being said, Shinobido is also pretty good-looking for a PS2 title, main character models are surprisingly rich in detail, the environments and the amazing soundtrack manage to create this tense atmosphere in each mission, enemy encounter and boss fights. The game's presentation overall does a fantastic job at selling the idea that you're in the dangerous underworld of Sengoku-era Japan and you'd better watch out because your own throat can also get cut out there. Oh, and do yourself a favor and switch to the japanese voice acting as soon as you start this game... The english dub is quite bad.
In spite of the repetitiveness preventing it from being a masterpiece, Shinobido is still one of my favorite PS2 games and probably my favorite Acquire game as well. I'd love to see a modern installment of this game, which people seem to say Sekiro kind of is exactly that, which makes me interested in trying it out someday. But yeah, definitely worth at least checking out, especially if you like either Tenchu or Way of the Samurai, or both. If you don't, then you just need to get a better taste in video games, sorry.
While Goh's story is linear, the political plot surrounding Utakata is completely molded by your decisions as you're free to accept missions from any of the three feudal lords Ichijo, Akame or Sadame anytime you want, the more missions you accomplish, the more a feudal lord will trust you and the more you'll get to know about their faction and even them as people. You can be loyal to one of them, you can just accept whatever mission pays more, you can betray any of them, it really is up to you to decide what to do when it comes to this part of the game. The journal shows how your choices mold the outcome of the war for Utakata as it greatly affects each lord's army, their thoughts on the matters that get highlighted in the journal, as well as their thoughts on you personally.
Shinobido's gameplay has a bit of that PS2-era jank with dumb enemy AI, camera issues in areas that are too cramped and some collision-related oddities. However, I got used to that jank in a few minutes as I was replaying this game and found myself stealth-killing and fighting without any major issues. Honestly, that was my main concern at first, I feared Shinobido might not be as good as I remembered, since quite a handful of PS2 games I used to love back then (Drakengard, Chaos Legion, Sonic Heroes, Cold Fear) don't really hold up. Regardless, Shinobido's combat is simple, but competent enough, you have a few sword combos which do a decent job at dealing damage to enemies, but being a stealth game, what Shinobido really expects you to do is being stealthy and using tools to deal with enemies instead of just charging at them with your sword like you're Ryu Hayabusa or something.
Shinobido has a variety of tools you can use for a lot of purposes both in and out of combat. Shurikens, caltrops, grappling hooks, potions you can use to heal or buff yourself, as well as spheres you can use to either explode on enemies and cause damage that way, or cause debuffs, which comes in handy when there are a lot of them in one place. Be careful however, because if you're close to the sphere's smoke, you'll get debuffed yourself. You can also use food as bait to lure enemies to a specific place, use a remote-controlled magnetic chick which can either distract enemies or be used to recon the area while it lasts before you decide what to do. Hell, there's an alchemy system where you use ingredients to create your own potions and spheres with unique effects, but I suck at that and got too lazy to look up a tutorial to see how it works, but it's cool that this is there!
Where Shinobido actually falters, however, is in the variety of the missions you're tasked with. It may seem varied at first since there are many types of missions like total destruction, assassination, theft, kidnapping, rescue, attacking supply carts, defending supply carts, defending generals or even one of the feudal lords... However, a lot of these missions end up getting repetitive and samey after a while, even when the game does spice things up after the first few chapters by introducing other ninja clans in the enemy's ranks. I totally understand people who get tired of this game because of the repetitive missions, as well as the pace-breaking enemy invasions on Goh's hideout, which has to be the most poorly-hidden hideout ever since everyone can find this place, apparently.
I personally did get bothered by that, but not enough for my experience to be negatively affected, I was still very much invested the whole way through. Maybe more mission types or more unique missions would have done wonders to make Shinobido feel less tale after a while, but eh, I'll take what I'm being given, plus I had a great time playing around with the ragdoll physics of the enemy corpses, as well as turning Goh himself into a ragdoll with one of the cheat codes that get unlocked when I beat the game, it's hilarious.
That being said, Shinobido is also pretty good-looking for a PS2 title, main character models are surprisingly rich in detail, the environments and the amazing soundtrack manage to create this tense atmosphere in each mission, enemy encounter and boss fights. The game's presentation overall does a fantastic job at selling the idea that you're in the dangerous underworld of Sengoku-era Japan and you'd better watch out because your own throat can also get cut out there. Oh, and do yourself a favor and switch to the japanese voice acting as soon as you start this game... The english dub is quite bad.
In spite of the repetitiveness preventing it from being a masterpiece, Shinobido is still one of my favorite PS2 games and probably my favorite Acquire game as well. I'd love to see a modern installment of this game, which people seem to say Sekiro kind of is exactly that, which makes me interested in trying it out someday. But yeah, definitely worth at least checking out, especially if you like either Tenchu or Way of the Samurai, or both. If you don't, then you just need to get a better taste in video games, sorry.
2008
They did it, they finally made the dumbest fucking title imaginable for a game. Congratulations Square Enix, you guys really outdid yourselves with this one! And that's saying something, considering you have shit like Final Fantasy [insert number here]-2, Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, Bravely Default and Octopath Traveler in your catalog.
Artsy "cinematic" games aren't really my thing, but this one was quite good, I wish schizophrenia was real.
What's with these YGO games having incredibly good music?
2012
This happened to my buddy Eric
2017
Nier Automata fans try to discuss anything remarkable from their favorite game aside from the main character's ass challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
1993
We wouldn't have Weegee if it wasn't for this game's existence
2023
This is the first 2D Sonic game that feels experimental ever since Dimps was making 2D Sonic games. Unlike the Dimps games, however, this one actually doesn't completely shit itself on the level design department, and the gimmicks, both reimplementations of old ones and the completely new, fit in very well, keeping stages varied by always throwing something different at the player. The difficulty progresses pretty naturally as the game goes on and maintaining speed gets harder especially in the later stages, which might bother some people who are a bit too used to the 3D Sonic games or even Sonic Mania's overabundance of spectacle speedy moments with little interaction required from the player, but I can't do much about that aside from telling them to stop being bad at playing video games.
My biggest complaints are that the music is mostly bad/forgettable, which is a crime for a Sonic game, and the fact that the bosses have way too much waiting time until you're given a free hit after dodging their attacks. Yeah, I see why they did that as this game was made with multiplayer in mind and bosses would be demolished in a matter of seconds if they worked like in previous 2D games where you can hit them anytime you want as long as you manage to reach them, but in single player this just drags on and makes otherwise solid boss fights with challenging attack patterns into boring waiting games. Though the last boss for Trip's story can just go fuck itself with all the insta-kill bullshit and the last story boss did not need to be so fucking long without any checkpoints, what the hell were they thinking? The emerald powers are a neat idea, but for the most part they're extremely situational, so that could have been better executed too.
Since this was being made by Arzest, my expectations were honestly lower than Japan's birth rate looking at their track record, but I can tell they know what they're doing when it comes to making Sonic games at least. I mean, it makes sense, one of the leading guys is Naoto Ohshima after all, but yeah, Sonic Superstars isn't perfect by any means, I would even argue it's a worse game than Sonic Mania despite liking it a lot, but it is the most interesting 2D Sonic game we had in quite a while. I'm curious to see what they'll cook up next if Sega does end up making them into what Dimps used to be for Sonic back in the 2000s, hopefully they won't mimick Dimps and make worse games than their first 2D Sonic title as the years go by.
My biggest complaints are that the music is mostly bad/forgettable, which is a crime for a Sonic game, and the fact that the bosses have way too much waiting time until you're given a free hit after dodging their attacks. Yeah, I see why they did that as this game was made with multiplayer in mind and bosses would be demolished in a matter of seconds if they worked like in previous 2D games where you can hit them anytime you want as long as you manage to reach them, but in single player this just drags on and makes otherwise solid boss fights with challenging attack patterns into boring waiting games. Though the last boss for Trip's story can just go fuck itself with all the insta-kill bullshit and the last story boss did not need to be so fucking long without any checkpoints, what the hell were they thinking? The emerald powers are a neat idea, but for the most part they're extremely situational, so that could have been better executed too.
Since this was being made by Arzest, my expectations were honestly lower than Japan's birth rate looking at their track record, but I can tell they know what they're doing when it comes to making Sonic games at least. I mean, it makes sense, one of the leading guys is Naoto Ohshima after all, but yeah, Sonic Superstars isn't perfect by any means, I would even argue it's a worse game than Sonic Mania despite liking it a lot, but it is the most interesting 2D Sonic game we had in quite a while. I'm curious to see what they'll cook up next if Sega does end up making them into what Dimps used to be for Sonic back in the 2000s, hopefully they won't mimick Dimps and make worse games than their first 2D Sonic title as the years go by.
2013
Lara in cutscenes: "ARRRRRRGH I HURT MY RIBS AAAAAUGH THE PAIN I CAN'T BREATHE, HOLY SHIT"
Lara in game 5 seconds later: Literally parkours her way through falling structures
Lara in game 5 seconds later: Literally parkours her way through falling structures
Great, you guys made Sonic Frontiers better by adding some challenging extra content and new playable characters, which aren't the best versions of them to be honest, but still serviceable and some of the sections made specifically for them can get quite creative. I can't wait to see how the final boss will turn out!
[One horribly-designed unintuitive final boss later]
Wow, Galaga boss from the vanilla game, you ain't as bad as I thought back when I beat this for the first time, I apologize.
[One horribly-designed unintuitive final boss later]
Wow, Galaga boss from the vanilla game, you ain't as bad as I thought back when I beat this for the first time, I apologize.
1996
That part when Jill says "Damn, these residents are getting really evil!" made me tear up