aughhhh
BACKER
anthony burch is rolling over in his grave
yes I know he's not dead
yet
yes I know he's not dead
yet
2019
ok for sure this is baby's first soulsborne but we need to have a talk, japan: why does the abandoned skyscraper full of eldritch blood drinking vampire guerrilla fighters in the middle of an abandoned urban hellscape have a fucking mixed gender onsen huh??????/////
2010
you know, i don't think anyone ever asked the question "what if twin peaks was made by european game developers on a limited budget" but if they did, this would be the answer
2012
hyung tae kim was once cursed by a witch to have every woman he has ever drawn elongate into an anatomically incorrect, rudely cartoonish version of amanda lepore, and that is very sad. i say he's served his time, witch; let the man live
2012
masterworks all, can't go wrong - X
masterworks all, can't go - X
masterwor - X
masterworks all, can't go wrong - X
ma - X
master - X
anyway leave me and my beautiful wife fournival alone
masterworks all, can't go - X
masterwor - X
masterworks all, can't go wrong - X
ma - X
master - X
anyway leave me and my beautiful wife fournival alone
2002
nowhere near as bad as people made it out to be; the violin in the main battle track is nuts
base rise was aggressively mid but this expansion stepped the game's whole pussy up. each weapon feels fun to play, monsters feel challenging with enough variation to keep from feeling samey, and you can turn your dog into a gun.
sure all of the assets are reused from world, but bahari can sit on my face and i'd thank him
sure all of the assets are reused from world, but bahari can sit on my face and i'd thank him
2019
whether or not this pokemon game is good is inconsequential (it's fine, the open world is a let down but the post game is a lot of fun) but the 4 star rating is exclusively for the overwhelming amount of raihan porn the game has inspired; this leggy ass mf is just spreading it everywhere (and good for him!) great pokemon entry for the modern-era sex positivity movement
monster prom, but with less likable characters to choose from. on the flip side, it's way, way hornier than the first game, so i guess that's what they traded most of the likable cast from the first one for?
it took 132749381 years but ffxii finally got to be a really good game
the first route: shocking, upsetting, riveting, well-written, revolutionary, touching, heartbreaking, a narrative tour de force
every other route: "aren't gay guys WEIRD? anyway here's all of those usual BL rape and incest tropes we didn't include in the first route, sorry it took us so long to get it to you"
every other route: "aren't gay guys WEIRD? anyway here's all of those usual BL rape and incest tropes we didn't include in the first route, sorry it took us so long to get it to you"
2021
dopamine: the game
the soundtrack alone is worth the pricetag
the soundtrack alone is worth the pricetag
2022
they really ate, sis
the presentation of this game is really amazing; the voicework is stellar and each of the playable characters is iconic and charming, from the "oh no she's scottish" racist elf to the sniveling shakespearian protests from witch hunter extraordinaire victor saltzpyre.
on the other hand actually playing the game makes me want to rip out all of my hair and stuff it in my mouth and then eat the hair and then throw it back up and then cry.
on the other hand actually playing the game makes me want to rip out all of my hair and stuff it in my mouth and then eat the hair and then throw it back up and then cry.
it's definitely not the best game in the series (although iceborne helped improve a lot of the vanilla release's faults) but it's one of the ones i enjoyed playing the most, and this is why:
1) you pick up a lot of dung in monster hunter world. like, a lot. You're sniffing dung for tracks, you're making bombs out of it, so i think my friends and i decided that canonically the titular Monster Hunter you play as is an extreme scat fetishist. (which, i guess, is fine; i'm not here to yuck your hunters' yum.) but you definitely, definitely play with actual shit often enough for it to be Notable.
2) my character in monster hunter world was a lady with a blonde bobcut, and at one point during the game's early stages when the teostra armor was meta one of my friends made the offhanded comment that she looked like the princess of a fairytale germanic country, if that germanic country was extremely fascist.
3) this resulted in one of the enduring memes in my personal friend group, where my entire time spent playing this game was in character as Princess Glockenspiel of the enduring Kingdom of Glockenspiel, who hunts monsters for pride and sport, and to help fund the economy of the isolated nation through its export of its national dish, which is just literal Shit. I don't know why this is the meme that stuck around, but I really committed to the bit and I can't extricate the experience of live-rping this horrible shit eating fantasy eurotrash woman while bashing and smashing my way through the game.
my time with mh:w is viewed entirely through scheiße colored glasses.
1) you pick up a lot of dung in monster hunter world. like, a lot. You're sniffing dung for tracks, you're making bombs out of it, so i think my friends and i decided that canonically the titular Monster Hunter you play as is an extreme scat fetishist. (which, i guess, is fine; i'm not here to yuck your hunters' yum.) but you definitely, definitely play with actual shit often enough for it to be Notable.
2) my character in monster hunter world was a lady with a blonde bobcut, and at one point during the game's early stages when the teostra armor was meta one of my friends made the offhanded comment that she looked like the princess of a fairytale germanic country, if that germanic country was extremely fascist.
3) this resulted in one of the enduring memes in my personal friend group, where my entire time spent playing this game was in character as Princess Glockenspiel of the enduring Kingdom of Glockenspiel, who hunts monsters for pride and sport, and to help fund the economy of the isolated nation through its export of its national dish, which is just literal Shit. I don't know why this is the meme that stuck around, but I really committed to the bit and I can't extricate the experience of live-rping this horrible shit eating fantasy eurotrash woman while bashing and smashing my way through the game.
my time with mh:w is viewed entirely through scheiße colored glasses.