This game provided me with the first boss I got severely stuck on. His name was Iwaoropenelep, he was a literal giant thunder bird. I seriously cursed this bird’s name. I got stuck on him for something like a year. I even asked my friends to do it for me. No dice, until I tackled him head on again and again and got fucking lucky hanging on by a thread. Seriously, that OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOD feeling I got when the death animation played was the closest I have ever been to understanding why people play Dark Souls other than severe sadomasochism.

Most pertinent issues up front: 1) the translation of this game is super weird and, from what I can interpret, is quite literal to the Japanese text. 2) The text is chopped up into particles – oftentimes there’ll be three or four text bubbles per sentence – for no reason I can see, other than the Japanese text being that way (do Japanese teenagers all talk like William Shatner?)

The plot is your bog-standard “school club” and “scary rumour where a ghost girl shows up and kills you in real life if you meet these specific requirements” Japanese plotlines. I pretty much think everything about this game can be sorted by which cliché it is. That being said, I am a giant pussy, so I was scared by everything in this game and I did choose to not listen to the audio. Three times of having a ghost girl rasp 「誰でもいい」into my earholes was enough.

This game was the type of meh where it disappoints you to see it fall flat on its face, rather than provoking laughter.

i have only played on public servers with randos bc i have no friends and oh boy has the experience made me reconsider my compassion for human life

This game, especially the early cases, is HORNY for returning characters and motifs and it puts a stale edge on what would be a really nice variation of normal Ace Attorney gameplay

A short, sweet game that really reminded me of being a child. Also the birdwatching was very realistic in that like 40% of the birds never stop fucking moving and it's impossible to get a proper picture of them to ID. Yes I am a birdwatcher why do you ask

I know I'm putting on the size 13 clown shoes having put in 100 hours and saying this, but this game is underbaked, in every sense of the word.

(half a star off for making me look at some of those stupid female character designs)

the citation printing noise is one of the most dreaded noises in my illustrious gaming career. i dont think any other sound could instil that level of AAAAGH in my soul

also if you see an elena baranovsky or something like that come into your checkpoint, that name was submitted by yours truly 😎

the mako was easily the worst part of this game. the thing handles like it's on greased ice skates

i have the rhythm of a sea monkey so i couldn't get past the first stage. i like the game, i just wish the keys were mapped differently

The Perceive mechanic could be really cool, but… you know what all video gamed players really love to do? Go on spot the difference hunts over a gigantic sprite and search for the witness crying blood a little bit or whatever stupid poker tell they have.

Klavier was in this game and Capcom decided that actually he wasn’t that interesting GOODBYE KLAVIER and he hasn’t appeared since. I have a headcanon that he just prosecutes corporate finance law now and has a very cosy home life with Apollo and just listens to Apollo’s crazy ass stories

This review contains spoilers

Spiritfarer is such a wonderful game! It made me cry Several Times, but the worst one was Alice, as I have firsthand experience of dementia patients.

My only complaint is the end kind of dribbles along and I basically had to commit suicide so I didn't lose all will to complete the game, but it still made me cry so ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

2018

Cute and fun game with a heap of unique style! Unfortunately, I’m so bad at games that I got stuck 2 hours in and had to put it down for fear of ripping my own face off in frustration.

Well it took years and like three startovers because I'm apparently addicted to breaking my phone... but I'm done...
The puzzle design and the translation are a bit janky but it's a solid enough picross game.