"you deserve to be vaunted, adored. statues in your image should stand on every square. a whole generation of babies should be named in your honour... but it will not be so. all those people you saved... most of them will never know what you did. but you know, and so do i. i'll never forget." when i tell you i love shadowheart more than fucking anything, i truly mean it.

after one hundred and six hours, my very first play-through is finally over, and it was such a bittersweet ending. i didn't expect to become an actual mind flayer in the end, didn't even know it was possible without me dying/losing my mind, and yet here we are. it wasn't even that bad, if i'm being honest. didn't get the chance to eat anyone's brain, but i still got very excited over it being an actual option. so, it wasn't bad at all. just a little... sad, i guess. but then again, my tav already looked scary as hell after embracing all the powers the emperor had to offer, with all the black veins and shit, so the tentacles were kind of an improvement. and the love of my life was still with me, we ended up living on a farm together, so maybe it was meant to be. a dream come true. i can't imagine the story ending in any other way for my character, it was just perfect. this very first play-through will definitely be The One, that's how the story actually ended for me and my tav. but i truly cannot wait to start another save and explore all the different options and see all the things i've missed or never finished (like that fucking clown quest, too many body parts. i found a little more than half and then just gave up, because who actually cares?). durge will definitely be the very next thing i do, and then i will probably move onto origins. that is also very exciting.

i just fucking love this game, so so much. and all the characters. it will be very hard for me to move on from shadowheart romance-vise, but i really want to romance gale as well. i love that wizard man a whole lot. i'm not sure if i want to romance someone else as durge (maybe minthara?), and then be a little self-indulgent and romance gale as astarion origin (or the other way around). i really want (need) to do that.

inserts "he has that sadness in his eyes that you only see in eastern european gay porn" meme.

harry du bois. what a man. i just love that you spend the first part of the game realizing how much you have fucked up before the start of the actual story. and then kids on drugs proceed to call you slurs (when i tell you my mouth was hanging wide open when i first encountered those little shits).

no, but honestly, this was probably one of the best games i've played in a while. or maybe ever. it was SO my type of game, i can't even stress this enough. i'm definitely going to replay it sometime in the future, but definitely not right now. i need some time to soak it all in (and i'm not ready to replay many of the quests that are available). i finished my first playthrough just a few minutes ago, so i don't really have a whole lot to say that's not a complete nonsense that will cause someone brain damage just by reading it, but what i WILL say is that disco elysium is not actually about solving a murder. it is about becoming best friends with kim kitsuragi. the murder mystery is just something to deal with on the side. it is also the most hopeful and poetic work of fiction you will ever experience.

and i actually have no clue how many ending there are in the game, but i met the stick bug and it was really nice and friendly. that is all.