goodchicken
145 Reviews liked by goodchicken
Soul Blade
1995
i honestly really hope this game gets a port/remake because there's something very special about it
it's sad that there's no way to play it on modern platforms without emulation
it's sad that there's no way to play it on modern platforms without emulation
unfortunately this is my least favourite Castlevania Game I have played except for Circle of the Moon :( touch screen stuff absolutely ruins the bosses. I didn't love the way the heavy weapon feels but I still used it because it did the big numbers and I didn't like the castle layout! It relied on the teleporters way too much and I never felt like I got to know my way around the place. The fun toy room area was good thouhgh.
TURN OFF THE CONSOLE
yes sorry. I originally played this a couple years ago and didn't finish it, said it was mgs1 but worse, didn't care. played it again on easy mode and any moment snake showed up I was hyped and loving it. I found the middle of the game fine? But when the rails start coming off I think I sat and played this for a few hours straight and I loved it, it was glorious. and I have thought about it a lot since playing it! Some of the stuff that happens towards the end is absolutely incredible and very relevant now and I just bloody love it mat.e.
yes sorry. I originally played this a couple years ago and didn't finish it, said it was mgs1 but worse, didn't care. played it again on easy mode and any moment snake showed up I was hyped and loving it. I found the middle of the game fine? But when the rails start coming off I think I sat and played this for a few hours straight and I loved it, it was glorious. and I have thought about it a lot since playing it! Some of the stuff that happens towards the end is absolutely incredible and very relevant now and I just bloody love it mat.e.
I liked the character banter, and the action scenes were animated wonderfully, but the gameplay loop sucks, the open world feels weirdly secondary, and the game is so SLOOOOOOOOOOOW
This review contains spoilers
Rest in peace Akira Toriyama 💚
Dragon Quest 8 is about as pure of an adventure as you can get and I loved just about every moment of its main story and side content. After beating 11 and now this i'm developing a stronger appreciation for what dragon quest is all about and I feel like i've come around on it massively. At a point I was treating dragon quest 11 like other jrpgs i've come to know and love, this is the series that established so many of its trends after all, but in doing so I feel like I was critiquing it unfairly and overlooking the things that made it really special (which is why I deleted my DQ11 review and reevaluated its score)
The gameplay has evolved from those trends at a, shall we say, 'leisurely' pace; but I think that's what a lot of people love about it and part of why its so popular, you always know what you're getting and fans have actually fought against it to change - see dragon quest 9’s departure from its original action rpg direction and subsequent return to traditional turn-based combat in response to fan backlash. There’s been experimentation, new additions and quality of life changes but the fundamentals have never really changed all that much and if it isn’t broke, why fix it right? It will always sell like wildfire, but for good reason, there’s something about this familiar and homely approach to game design, sure you can pick it apart but if it didn’t work at its core and wasn’t fun, it simply would not have stuck around for as long as it has. Granted the original on the ps2 had random encounters and i’m glad to see those go in favour of visible overworld monsters, a totally meaningful change which is becoming the new norm - infact it always felt like the intention even way back when I was playing pokemon yellow (random encounters felt like a means to an end, a technical shortcut used to ‘simulate’ bumping into monsters on the road during your adventure by low memory, primitive console hardware). Basically what i’m saying is i’m glad some things like that have adapted over the years for something that I feel is better, but the template has not changed and there’s something comforting in that.
Comforting is what playing Dragon Quest 8 is on all levels really, even in its melancholic, dramatic and more tense moments, it exists in a fairytale-like universe where you know the heroes are going to win in the end and everyone will live happily ever after. Its not the destination that matters, it is the journey, the friends you make, the places you see and the memorable enemies and rivals you face along the way - simultaneously getting ever stronger and more confident as you go. These games are bedtime stories that you are literally thrust inside of and can take control of and its wonderful; at their best its like the game equivalent of being at home, on a soft chair, wrapped in a blanket with a hot drink in hand (I can also confirm that this is probably the best way to play them if you’re able). I came out of DQ11 enjoying my time but happy to see it finally come to an end, but then in DQ8 I truly fell in love.
Tonally I think DQ8 nails it, from the very beginning it is established that you are a guard to King Trode along with your pal Yangus and need to remove a curse from him and his daughter, princess Medea, which turned them into a monster and a horse respectively. This simple motivation extends to the entire rest of the game and there’s beauty in that simplicity, it never steers too far from its focus and I felt actively involved in the characters’ dilemma, rather than just some guy along for the ride. I love being bossed around by Trode and find him and Yangus consistently hilarious and lovable. Yangus in particularly is just the best isn’t he, just the most loyal bri’ish bloke I ever met, he’d have your back in a pub fight any day of the week and he carried me hard for the entire game, nothing on this planet could stop a max psyched and oomphed yangus.
Throughout the entire game I never got bored of its antics, narrative arcs and wacky characters with ludicrously over the top voice acting. I love love love its goofy voices and exaggerated accents, how can you not find it incessantly charming, the english VAs go above and beyond (though sometimes there’s something dire like Dominico or Rhapthorne’s first form, what the fuck were they thinking honestly, hilarious though).
Two things that stand out above all the rest and truly made this experience for me are its art and its soundtrack. Sadly both Akira Toriyama, the lead artist and Kuichi Sogiyama, the composer, have passed away now and I dedicate this to them, the future of this series and jrpgs in general owe so much to them both and thank you for delivering such outstanding work! The character (and monster) designs of dragon quest are outstanding but few of its characters are so colourful and full of personality as we see in DQ8, along with my favourite hero design in the entire franchise. The expressive models and brilliantly composed cutscenes do the designs so much justice and create some great scenes ranging from hysterical slapstick antics to this gripping, palpable melancholy. All this heightened by what is now one of my favourite soundtracks ever. DQ8’s soundtrack is beautiful and captures the ‘vibe’ of every sequence perfectly. Every mood it seems to try and convey is done masterfully and drives this consistent feeling of adventure, mystery, and longing. It can be dramatic or it can be soft and ambient, but its never boring, it never fades into the background, it is always there heightening every emotion the game wants to deliver and that’s something only the best soundtracks do. The smooth and soft violins make up a lot of this ost and they are intoxicating, sweeping over and wrapping around everything else.
Its hard to even pick a favourite moment in DQ8 and in this sense it kind of reminded me of ocarina of time, which similarly has these consistent highs where each storyline is as interesting and enjoyable as the last but the overarching tone always stays the same and this sense of familiarity never truly goes away. Not to mention the world itself is really pretty and fun to explore, the 3ds version is among the best looking games on the system I think. The towns and settlements feel like real places and their individuality shines, I particularly loved exploring castle trodain whilst it is under the curse, the melancholic atmosphere is top notch here and the best track in the game plays here aswell, only making it better. The final dungeon is also a total maze and I really enjoyed it, especially the part where you solve a puzzle by circling what looks like a small town which becomes progressively more cursed and ramshackled with each lap. Something that particularly stood out to me were the personal moments like hearing Medea speak to you in your sleep which I adored, the flashback sequence with Medea meeting the hero and looking after him and helping a king to overcome the trauma of losing his wife.
My only real complaints / criticisms are the incessant metal slime grinding needed to defeat that insane final boss and the sheer amount of randomness that involves as well as the creepy treatment / objectification of some female characters like Jessica, it feels out of place and uncomfortable and should go away. I don’t care for metal slimes in general and don’t see why they exist as a ‘mechanic’ or whatever, the fact they can be worth anywhere between 2x and like, 200x as much XP as what most regular monsters give is so unnecessary. I mean having some monsters be worth a fair bit more xp is fine but the difference is astronomical and this is the only real way to grind without wasting dozens of hours of your precious time and yet it involves so much randomness. A level of randomness is acceptable but there’s randomness to even find metal slimes in the first place because they’re pretty rare (at least you don’t have to find them in random encounters here thank god). After that there’s randomness in whether or not the slime will just flee immediately and there’s even more randomness in trying to get a critical hit to kill them, that’s multiple levels of random and if you get unlucky in any one of them it is frustrating as fuck! Again this wouldn’t matter so much if metal slime hunting wasn’t the fastest and most optimal way to grind XP since they are worth such a ludicrous amount more than regular enemies.
Without those things I think this would be 5 stars honestly, I enjoyed it so much. This game is just delightful, endlessly charming, warm, comforting and so endearing and silly. Its nice to delve into something that isn’t complex or witty or groundbreaking, it is just plain, simple, joyful fun. By the end credits I was smiling with goosebumps as the overture played on the main menu screen, *Keanu voice: yeah i’m thinking i’m dragon quest fan.
Dragon Quest 8 is about as pure of an adventure as you can get and I loved just about every moment of its main story and side content. After beating 11 and now this i'm developing a stronger appreciation for what dragon quest is all about and I feel like i've come around on it massively. At a point I was treating dragon quest 11 like other jrpgs i've come to know and love, this is the series that established so many of its trends after all, but in doing so I feel like I was critiquing it unfairly and overlooking the things that made it really special (which is why I deleted my DQ11 review and reevaluated its score)
The gameplay has evolved from those trends at a, shall we say, 'leisurely' pace; but I think that's what a lot of people love about it and part of why its so popular, you always know what you're getting and fans have actually fought against it to change - see dragon quest 9’s departure from its original action rpg direction and subsequent return to traditional turn-based combat in response to fan backlash. There’s been experimentation, new additions and quality of life changes but the fundamentals have never really changed all that much and if it isn’t broke, why fix it right? It will always sell like wildfire, but for good reason, there’s something about this familiar and homely approach to game design, sure you can pick it apart but if it didn’t work at its core and wasn’t fun, it simply would not have stuck around for as long as it has. Granted the original on the ps2 had random encounters and i’m glad to see those go in favour of visible overworld monsters, a totally meaningful change which is becoming the new norm - infact it always felt like the intention even way back when I was playing pokemon yellow (random encounters felt like a means to an end, a technical shortcut used to ‘simulate’ bumping into monsters on the road during your adventure by low memory, primitive console hardware). Basically what i’m saying is i’m glad some things like that have adapted over the years for something that I feel is better, but the template has not changed and there’s something comforting in that.
Comforting is what playing Dragon Quest 8 is on all levels really, even in its melancholic, dramatic and more tense moments, it exists in a fairytale-like universe where you know the heroes are going to win in the end and everyone will live happily ever after. Its not the destination that matters, it is the journey, the friends you make, the places you see and the memorable enemies and rivals you face along the way - simultaneously getting ever stronger and more confident as you go. These games are bedtime stories that you are literally thrust inside of and can take control of and its wonderful; at their best its like the game equivalent of being at home, on a soft chair, wrapped in a blanket with a hot drink in hand (I can also confirm that this is probably the best way to play them if you’re able). I came out of DQ11 enjoying my time but happy to see it finally come to an end, but then in DQ8 I truly fell in love.
Tonally I think DQ8 nails it, from the very beginning it is established that you are a guard to King Trode along with your pal Yangus and need to remove a curse from him and his daughter, princess Medea, which turned them into a monster and a horse respectively. This simple motivation extends to the entire rest of the game and there’s beauty in that simplicity, it never steers too far from its focus and I felt actively involved in the characters’ dilemma, rather than just some guy along for the ride. I love being bossed around by Trode and find him and Yangus consistently hilarious and lovable. Yangus in particularly is just the best isn’t he, just the most loyal bri’ish bloke I ever met, he’d have your back in a pub fight any day of the week and he carried me hard for the entire game, nothing on this planet could stop a max psyched and oomphed yangus.
Throughout the entire game I never got bored of its antics, narrative arcs and wacky characters with ludicrously over the top voice acting. I love love love its goofy voices and exaggerated accents, how can you not find it incessantly charming, the english VAs go above and beyond (though sometimes there’s something dire like Dominico or Rhapthorne’s first form, what the fuck were they thinking honestly, hilarious though).
Two things that stand out above all the rest and truly made this experience for me are its art and its soundtrack. Sadly both Akira Toriyama, the lead artist and Kuichi Sogiyama, the composer, have passed away now and I dedicate this to them, the future of this series and jrpgs in general owe so much to them both and thank you for delivering such outstanding work! The character (and monster) designs of dragon quest are outstanding but few of its characters are so colourful and full of personality as we see in DQ8, along with my favourite hero design in the entire franchise. The expressive models and brilliantly composed cutscenes do the designs so much justice and create some great scenes ranging from hysterical slapstick antics to this gripping, palpable melancholy. All this heightened by what is now one of my favourite soundtracks ever. DQ8’s soundtrack is beautiful and captures the ‘vibe’ of every sequence perfectly. Every mood it seems to try and convey is done masterfully and drives this consistent feeling of adventure, mystery, and longing. It can be dramatic or it can be soft and ambient, but its never boring, it never fades into the background, it is always there heightening every emotion the game wants to deliver and that’s something only the best soundtracks do. The smooth and soft violins make up a lot of this ost and they are intoxicating, sweeping over and wrapping around everything else.
Its hard to even pick a favourite moment in DQ8 and in this sense it kind of reminded me of ocarina of time, which similarly has these consistent highs where each storyline is as interesting and enjoyable as the last but the overarching tone always stays the same and this sense of familiarity never truly goes away. Not to mention the world itself is really pretty and fun to explore, the 3ds version is among the best looking games on the system I think. The towns and settlements feel like real places and their individuality shines, I particularly loved exploring castle trodain whilst it is under the curse, the melancholic atmosphere is top notch here and the best track in the game plays here aswell, only making it better. The final dungeon is also a total maze and I really enjoyed it, especially the part where you solve a puzzle by circling what looks like a small town which becomes progressively more cursed and ramshackled with each lap. Something that particularly stood out to me were the personal moments like hearing Medea speak to you in your sleep which I adored, the flashback sequence with Medea meeting the hero and looking after him and helping a king to overcome the trauma of losing his wife.
My only real complaints / criticisms are the incessant metal slime grinding needed to defeat that insane final boss and the sheer amount of randomness that involves as well as the creepy treatment / objectification of some female characters like Jessica, it feels out of place and uncomfortable and should go away. I don’t care for metal slimes in general and don’t see why they exist as a ‘mechanic’ or whatever, the fact they can be worth anywhere between 2x and like, 200x as much XP as what most regular monsters give is so unnecessary. I mean having some monsters be worth a fair bit more xp is fine but the difference is astronomical and this is the only real way to grind without wasting dozens of hours of your precious time and yet it involves so much randomness. A level of randomness is acceptable but there’s randomness to even find metal slimes in the first place because they’re pretty rare (at least you don’t have to find them in random encounters here thank god). After that there’s randomness in whether or not the slime will just flee immediately and there’s even more randomness in trying to get a critical hit to kill them, that’s multiple levels of random and if you get unlucky in any one of them it is frustrating as fuck! Again this wouldn’t matter so much if metal slime hunting wasn’t the fastest and most optimal way to grind XP since they are worth such a ludicrous amount more than regular enemies.
Without those things I think this would be 5 stars honestly, I enjoyed it so much. This game is just delightful, endlessly charming, warm, comforting and so endearing and silly. Its nice to delve into something that isn’t complex or witty or groundbreaking, it is just plain, simple, joyful fun. By the end credits I was smiling with goosebumps as the overture played on the main menu screen, *Keanu voice: yeah i’m thinking i’m dragon quest fan.
A Short Hike
2019
I went on a hike once, but it was nothing like this. My Father and I were trekking through the Cairngorms in the heart of Scotland. If you haven't seen it, it's a beautiful place. Flowing rivers, glistening lochs, bustling forests, the works. Every way you look, you're encircled by these white-capped hills that lap over eachother like great waves on a distant ocean.
Needless to say, when the time finally came for us to begin our hike -- I was excited. Heart pumping, legs twitching, balls tingling, (they do that when I'm excited) I couldn't wait to challenge these mountains, to duel with them with my own hands and feet. So voracious was my climbing appetite, that by the time I topped my first tableland, I realised I'd left my Dad behind. At first, I was struck with concern -- he had a history of heart complications and a poor sense of direction, it wasn't out of the question he'd get lost, or worse -- perish. Then I remembered all the times he'd forgotten my birthday and cheated on his wives and realised I didn't care. I pressed on, determined to reach the highest point of these mountaintops. My feet became warriors, my Limited Edition Ahegao Yeezys their Spartan helms. My balls were still tingling. I crested over every crevice, I powered through every plateau, I marched across every arch. Needless to say, my progress without my deadbeat Father was incredible. "Soon," I thought, "that summit will submit."
And then the snow fell.
And it kept falling.
And it kept falling until all of the Cairngorms were a sheet of paper. I, a small mark only impressed upon it by the dirt of a fingernail. Beginning to panic, I scoured the area for shelter, and found a small cave overlooking a gentle slope. I nestled my way in and sparked a small fire with some twigs and my trusty M1A1 U.S. Military Flamethrower, which I never leave the house without. I checked the time on my phone -- 14:51. "I really hope it stops snowing soon," I thought.
But it didn't.
It snowed and it snowed and it snowed for what felt like eons. I swore I saw entire families of deer cross the mountains from my left, and come back days later from the right, smaller in number. Or maybe I was just hallucinating. I began to ponder my life and all the things I'd seen, suspecting I was coming to the end of it. I reminisced on the times I'd burnt the midnight oil at my desk as though some kind of infernal engine built for the sole purpose of generating laughs from strangers online. I wondered, was it worth it? I began to ruminate on what had caused this endless blizzard. Some kind of freak weather incident no one could have predicted? Or some kind of cosmic karma, cast down from the heavens as if to show me how futile and trivial my pursuits had been all along? As if even my own mind was turning against me, the one thing I could think of before long, the sole remaining thought I had to distract me from my impending freezing demise...Was that of the look a woman gives you when you kiss her. When you hold her close, press your face up against hers, and then look down at her after you're done, foreheads meeting in a holy union, like what swans do. The look she gives you in return, when she looks back up and her eyes meet yours? There is nothing more beautiful in this life. Nothing more tender. It is the most innocent smile, the purest expression of affection. Nothing in the world can emulate that. I should know, I've tried. I've spent countless hours trying to do it in the mirror. I'm doing it right now.
I look at my phone again. 14:56. "I'm finished", I tell myself. "This is it". I close my eyes, ready to drift off into the chilling embrace of death. And then? Precious memories begin flickering through my mind, like pictures in a film reel. Moments of joy from my childhood, moments of sadness from my adolescence, moments of frustration from my adulthood. All of them roll through my mind at a speed I'm surprised I can even comprehend, but I can...And then...Suddenly...I can feel my fingers again...I can feel my nose running again..."Am I dead?" I wonder. "Is this a near-death experience? Do you get the feeling back just before you die or something?"
But no, soon I realise what's really going on.
Finally, the heroin has kicked in.
The 8 mg's of heroin I'd snorted shortly before the snow began falling and shortly after I'd twisted my ankle a little bit trying to do a Michael-Jackson-Smooth-Criminal lean over the edge of a steep mesa had finally taken effect. I'm fucking back baby. Enough "remembering" and all that pussy shit. I pick up my flamethrower, blast this Nightcore version of "Word Up" by Cameo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N5CyOl5dJY) and decide it's time to re-enter society and make this mountain my bitch. Stepping outside, frothing at the mouth like a rabid badger, with a gait not entirely unlike Theresa May's "Dancing Queen" entrance to the 2018 Conservative Party Conference played in 3x speed, I dart around every orifice of the mountain range, the snow that nearly doomed me now a mere triviality. It's as if I don't even know how fast I'm going, nor can I control myself. I have no thoughts of pain or fatigue or cold, all I'm seeing are dazzling lights, rapturous kaleidoscopes firing off before my eyes. At one point, I'm pretty sure I see the entirety of the movie "Get Out" by Jordan Peele, which is a great movie and all -- but as a white guy I feel a bit weird about that, almost like I'm being insensitive somehow. I don't know. I just don't feel like that's the one movie that should be playing in my mind of all people, y'know?
And before I know it, when my senses finally return to me. I'm there. I'm at the summit. My heartbeat seems to have slowed somewhat, my breathing somewhat normal again, save for a heavy pant. The entirety of the majestic Scottish highlands stretches out before. I shake my head in disbelief, "what a rich tapestry...Not everyone gets to appreciate a view like this." And after taking it all in, I know of only one way to celebrate.
Without even touching my own penis, I ejaculate. I ejaculate with the force of 5000 men in what can only be described as a kind of semen spirit bomb. I struggle to find other ways to describe the amount of fluid I dispersed here, so let's just say that if they made cannons that fired PVA glue, it'd be a bit like that. If the local park rangers and hikers thought the snow was thick, "wait until they get a load of this," I smirk. Of course, my logic is flawed. Because I'm far too busy appreciating the view to notice that the sub-zero temperature has frozen my semen solid midway through its descent, and so it's likely to be believed to be typical ice by most casual onlookers, with no one to ever conceive of the incredible cum shower I produced here. Worse still, my penis has frozen solid, and when I reach for it to warm it up, it falls off my body entirely, which I assume is a symptom of hypothermia. I passed out promptly after, and woke up several days later in this chair, writing this review.
All of this is to say, A Short Hike is not a particularly realistic hiking experience. And hey, it doesn't need to be! What it is is a lovely, cosy little game with great visuals, some fun traversal and a very charming personality. A Long Hike next, please!
Needless to say, when the time finally came for us to begin our hike -- I was excited. Heart pumping, legs twitching, balls tingling, (they do that when I'm excited) I couldn't wait to challenge these mountains, to duel with them with my own hands and feet. So voracious was my climbing appetite, that by the time I topped my first tableland, I realised I'd left my Dad behind. At first, I was struck with concern -- he had a history of heart complications and a poor sense of direction, it wasn't out of the question he'd get lost, or worse -- perish. Then I remembered all the times he'd forgotten my birthday and cheated on his wives and realised I didn't care. I pressed on, determined to reach the highest point of these mountaintops. My feet became warriors, my Limited Edition Ahegao Yeezys their Spartan helms. My balls were still tingling. I crested over every crevice, I powered through every plateau, I marched across every arch. Needless to say, my progress without my deadbeat Father was incredible. "Soon," I thought, "that summit will submit."
And then the snow fell.
And it kept falling.
And it kept falling until all of the Cairngorms were a sheet of paper. I, a small mark only impressed upon it by the dirt of a fingernail. Beginning to panic, I scoured the area for shelter, and found a small cave overlooking a gentle slope. I nestled my way in and sparked a small fire with some twigs and my trusty M1A1 U.S. Military Flamethrower, which I never leave the house without. I checked the time on my phone -- 14:51. "I really hope it stops snowing soon," I thought.
But it didn't.
It snowed and it snowed and it snowed for what felt like eons. I swore I saw entire families of deer cross the mountains from my left, and come back days later from the right, smaller in number. Or maybe I was just hallucinating. I began to ponder my life and all the things I'd seen, suspecting I was coming to the end of it. I reminisced on the times I'd burnt the midnight oil at my desk as though some kind of infernal engine built for the sole purpose of generating laughs from strangers online. I wondered, was it worth it? I began to ruminate on what had caused this endless blizzard. Some kind of freak weather incident no one could have predicted? Or some kind of cosmic karma, cast down from the heavens as if to show me how futile and trivial my pursuits had been all along? As if even my own mind was turning against me, the one thing I could think of before long, the sole remaining thought I had to distract me from my impending freezing demise...Was that of the look a woman gives you when you kiss her. When you hold her close, press your face up against hers, and then look down at her after you're done, foreheads meeting in a holy union, like what swans do. The look she gives you in return, when she looks back up and her eyes meet yours? There is nothing more beautiful in this life. Nothing more tender. It is the most innocent smile, the purest expression of affection. Nothing in the world can emulate that. I should know, I've tried. I've spent countless hours trying to do it in the mirror. I'm doing it right now.
I look at my phone again. 14:56. "I'm finished", I tell myself. "This is it". I close my eyes, ready to drift off into the chilling embrace of death. And then? Precious memories begin flickering through my mind, like pictures in a film reel. Moments of joy from my childhood, moments of sadness from my adolescence, moments of frustration from my adulthood. All of them roll through my mind at a speed I'm surprised I can even comprehend, but I can...And then...Suddenly...I can feel my fingers again...I can feel my nose running again..."Am I dead?" I wonder. "Is this a near-death experience? Do you get the feeling back just before you die or something?"
But no, soon I realise what's really going on.
Finally, the heroin has kicked in.
The 8 mg's of heroin I'd snorted shortly before the snow began falling and shortly after I'd twisted my ankle a little bit trying to do a Michael-Jackson-Smooth-Criminal lean over the edge of a steep mesa had finally taken effect. I'm fucking back baby. Enough "remembering" and all that pussy shit. I pick up my flamethrower, blast this Nightcore version of "Word Up" by Cameo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N5CyOl5dJY) and decide it's time to re-enter society and make this mountain my bitch. Stepping outside, frothing at the mouth like a rabid badger, with a gait not entirely unlike Theresa May's "Dancing Queen" entrance to the 2018 Conservative Party Conference played in 3x speed, I dart around every orifice of the mountain range, the snow that nearly doomed me now a mere triviality. It's as if I don't even know how fast I'm going, nor can I control myself. I have no thoughts of pain or fatigue or cold, all I'm seeing are dazzling lights, rapturous kaleidoscopes firing off before my eyes. At one point, I'm pretty sure I see the entirety of the movie "Get Out" by Jordan Peele, which is a great movie and all -- but as a white guy I feel a bit weird about that, almost like I'm being insensitive somehow. I don't know. I just don't feel like that's the one movie that should be playing in my mind of all people, y'know?
And before I know it, when my senses finally return to me. I'm there. I'm at the summit. My heartbeat seems to have slowed somewhat, my breathing somewhat normal again, save for a heavy pant. The entirety of the majestic Scottish highlands stretches out before. I shake my head in disbelief, "what a rich tapestry...Not everyone gets to appreciate a view like this." And after taking it all in, I know of only one way to celebrate.
Without even touching my own penis, I ejaculate. I ejaculate with the force of 5000 men in what can only be described as a kind of semen spirit bomb. I struggle to find other ways to describe the amount of fluid I dispersed here, so let's just say that if they made cannons that fired PVA glue, it'd be a bit like that. If the local park rangers and hikers thought the snow was thick, "wait until they get a load of this," I smirk. Of course, my logic is flawed. Because I'm far too busy appreciating the view to notice that the sub-zero temperature has frozen my semen solid midway through its descent, and so it's likely to be believed to be typical ice by most casual onlookers, with no one to ever conceive of the incredible cum shower I produced here. Worse still, my penis has frozen solid, and when I reach for it to warm it up, it falls off my body entirely, which I assume is a symptom of hypothermia. I passed out promptly after, and woke up several days later in this chair, writing this review.
All of this is to say, A Short Hike is not a particularly realistic hiking experience. And hey, it doesn't need to be! What it is is a lovely, cosy little game with great visuals, some fun traversal and a very charming personality. A Long Hike next, please!
Bird & Beans
2008
highest score i got on this ever was 35k i think. i do not fucking play about bird & beans
Sonic 3D Blast
1996
this game is called flickie's island
Persona 3 Reload
2024
This review contains spoilers
Two things you should know about me before you read this review; I have never played the original Persona 3 (this is my first ever Persona game of any kind in fact) and I am typically not a fan of JRPGs -- I find them overly long, tropey and samey. But Persona is a series I've always been meaning to tick off my list, so when this remake was announced I decided to go in with a completely open mind and finish the thing start to finish no matter how I feel about it.
So, having now finished Persona 3 Reload, did it do anything to change my perceptions?
No!
I don't know if I've ever played a game that felt like it dragged quite as much as Persona 3. For the first third of the game it feels like practically nothing happens, you just crawl along a bunch of setup and mundane character interactions at a snail's pace, but then the final act I feel is also super dragged out. In the last month (and likely well before) your social skills are maxed out and you're just skipping through the days, waiting for the end to come. It has some serious pacing issues, and I think you could literally cut it down to half the length and maybe call that reasonable pacing. I can honestly say I did not hate this game at all, but any game that overstays its welcome like this makes you enjoy it less than you would otherwise by result of its insistence. I do not think this game justifies its own length at all.
And a large part of this is owed to the characters and story, which...Man, if you're gonna be like 60% visual novel...You've gotta have a better story and characters than this. I'm really trying not to judge too harshly in this regard because this is a remake of a 2006 game and I think it's fair to say a lot of the characters probably wouldn't have felt quite so played out back then. But damn if I didn't feel like I could predict basically every scene as soon as it started up. The moment Junpei says whatever he says about how you're always the one saving the day or whatever after the 3rd or 4th major shadow I was like "oh this is the beginning of his jealousy arc, isn't it?" and I was right. The moment we showed up with him in tow for this super unnecessary scene with all the female characters in kimonos at the shrine towards the end I was like "oh he's gonna be a sex pest about this isn't he" and I was right (dude seriously wtf is up with that scene at the shrine I still can't figure out the point of it). I distinctly remember thinking to myself early on in the game "there's gonna be a fat guy character whose whole personality trait is eating isn't there" and SURE ENOUGH. GUESS WHO I FUCKING MET LIKE 20 MINUTES LATER.
When I tell you this game is tropey I mean that 5 of the main cast have dead parents at the start of the game, and then another one's dies right in front of you too! Technically, 6 of the main cast start with dead parents if you count the fucking dog, who was the best character by the way! Because he didn't talk! This game truly has no idea how to give characters tragic backstories or grief to get over without killing off their parents, lmao. I get that the game is about death, but c'mon. I just didn't particularly like any of the characters in this game. I kinda like Takeba because she was one of the few characters who felt like they didn't boil down to the same one or two things they like talking about? Junpei is a sex pest! Akihiko likes boxing! Aigis is Elizabeth again but was less entertaining! I kinda liked Takeba and Amada and that's about it. And on the note of characters being predictable, how about that heel turn for Ikutsuki, huh? Didn't see that one coming! (Disclaimer: I saw that one coming. Somehow it still managed to underwhelm me.)
I'm harping on the story and characters a lot because it's a significant part of the game. I just found it mostly mindnumbing, I'm sorry. In the lead up to the 12th major Shadow fight it's basically all characters will talk about. They all just spend days on end going "this is the last fight! hope you're ready!" and like...You know it's not the last fight. You've just unlocked a whole new bunch of Special Fusions that go waaayyy past your current level, Fuuka specifically mentions you not even being close to the end of Tartarus on one of your recent trips, and you can see that the game's calendar goes into March of next year! They are just saying nothing of consequence. It's all they can say. The same thing happens in the final month! You've got this big decision to make, but the characters spend the whole month telling you about how they've already made their decision, even though it's literally your decision to make! But what else are they gonna say? Is Junpei gonna talk about wanting to look at cute girls for the 10,000th time? Is Akihiko gonna say some shit about training? This game is spread way too thin for characters that are nowhere near deep, interesting or likeable enough to support its runtime. I've decided to be nice here and not talk about the summer vacation or school trip sections. I consider this mercy.
I'm giving this game some points because - like everything I've seen from all Persona games, its presentation is genuinely the best in video games right now. The soundtrack is of course incredible (if not a bit repetitive) and the UI and menus? Man. Idk wtf the UX designers at Atlus are smoking but they are just on another fuckin' level man. I don't think another team have ever been so clearly head-and-shoulders above every studio in the world on one specific thing. FromSoft and architecture, maybe? What blows me away is the little touches. The way the character icons change depending on the status effect they're inflicted with, those gorgeous win-screens, the coloured backgrounds in all the social menus. Ugh, oh my fucking god, man. Why does this series about anime teenagers of all things have so much fucking sauce? Western games are yearning for just a bit of this style. All these intangibles come together to mean that Persona 3, whilst an exercise in narrative monotony does at least have incredible vibes, which is the least you can do. You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it around in glitter.
I also wanna say that I actually liked the combat quite a lot. It's among my favourite JRPG battle systems I've seen. Snappy, surprisingly deep, highly customisable -- yeah, I liked it! I'm aware that combat was given a lot of quality-of-life changes from the original, and that's one of the other things that holds me back from giving this a 2 star rating or lower. I really can tell that this is an excellent remake on its own merits, and was very appreciative of its modern sensibilities (in particular, the fast-forward button. Holy shit, thank you god.) Unfortunately, the combat was delivered to me in the form of Tartarus, which got old about as fast as everything else! I did appreciate the occasional layout/aesthetic changes, but it's not enough to make up for the monotony. Have me doing combat in any context more interesting than trawling through 250+ hallways, and I'd just call combat an objective plus for Persona 3.
So, yeah. It didn't really do it for me unfortunately. It puts a lot into its story and characters and I just did not think they were good enough. I genuinely did try and go in with an open mind! But I also don't really know what I was expecting, I kinda knew that it did a lot of stuff I hate in video games before I began. It even does that "multiple choice questions where your answer doesn't matter at all" thing that JRPGs love doing for some reason! But hey, I've finished a Persona game now, no one can ever bug me about it again, and I did make literal Satan towards the end of the game and he did have what looked like 6 titties, so that was pretty cool.
So, having now finished Persona 3 Reload, did it do anything to change my perceptions?
No!
I don't know if I've ever played a game that felt like it dragged quite as much as Persona 3. For the first third of the game it feels like practically nothing happens, you just crawl along a bunch of setup and mundane character interactions at a snail's pace, but then the final act I feel is also super dragged out. In the last month (and likely well before) your social skills are maxed out and you're just skipping through the days, waiting for the end to come. It has some serious pacing issues, and I think you could literally cut it down to half the length and maybe call that reasonable pacing. I can honestly say I did not hate this game at all, but any game that overstays its welcome like this makes you enjoy it less than you would otherwise by result of its insistence. I do not think this game justifies its own length at all.
And a large part of this is owed to the characters and story, which...Man, if you're gonna be like 60% visual novel...You've gotta have a better story and characters than this. I'm really trying not to judge too harshly in this regard because this is a remake of a 2006 game and I think it's fair to say a lot of the characters probably wouldn't have felt quite so played out back then. But damn if I didn't feel like I could predict basically every scene as soon as it started up. The moment Junpei says whatever he says about how you're always the one saving the day or whatever after the 3rd or 4th major shadow I was like "oh this is the beginning of his jealousy arc, isn't it?" and I was right. The moment we showed up with him in tow for this super unnecessary scene with all the female characters in kimonos at the shrine towards the end I was like "oh he's gonna be a sex pest about this isn't he" and I was right (dude seriously wtf is up with that scene at the shrine I still can't figure out the point of it). I distinctly remember thinking to myself early on in the game "there's gonna be a fat guy character whose whole personality trait is eating isn't there" and SURE ENOUGH. GUESS WHO I FUCKING MET LIKE 20 MINUTES LATER.
When I tell you this game is tropey I mean that 5 of the main cast have dead parents at the start of the game, and then another one's dies right in front of you too! Technically, 6 of the main cast start with dead parents if you count the fucking dog, who was the best character by the way! Because he didn't talk! This game truly has no idea how to give characters tragic backstories or grief to get over without killing off their parents, lmao. I get that the game is about death, but c'mon. I just didn't particularly like any of the characters in this game. I kinda like Takeba because she was one of the few characters who felt like they didn't boil down to the same one or two things they like talking about? Junpei is a sex pest! Akihiko likes boxing! Aigis is Elizabeth again but was less entertaining! I kinda liked Takeba and Amada and that's about it. And on the note of characters being predictable, how about that heel turn for Ikutsuki, huh? Didn't see that one coming! (Disclaimer: I saw that one coming. Somehow it still managed to underwhelm me.)
I'm harping on the story and characters a lot because it's a significant part of the game. I just found it mostly mindnumbing, I'm sorry. In the lead up to the 12th major Shadow fight it's basically all characters will talk about. They all just spend days on end going "this is the last fight! hope you're ready!" and like...You know it's not the last fight. You've just unlocked a whole new bunch of Special Fusions that go waaayyy past your current level, Fuuka specifically mentions you not even being close to the end of Tartarus on one of your recent trips, and you can see that the game's calendar goes into March of next year! They are just saying nothing of consequence. It's all they can say. The same thing happens in the final month! You've got this big decision to make, but the characters spend the whole month telling you about how they've already made their decision, even though it's literally your decision to make! But what else are they gonna say? Is Junpei gonna talk about wanting to look at cute girls for the 10,000th time? Is Akihiko gonna say some shit about training? This game is spread way too thin for characters that are nowhere near deep, interesting or likeable enough to support its runtime. I've decided to be nice here and not talk about the summer vacation or school trip sections. I consider this mercy.
I'm giving this game some points because - like everything I've seen from all Persona games, its presentation is genuinely the best in video games right now. The soundtrack is of course incredible (if not a bit repetitive) and the UI and menus? Man. Idk wtf the UX designers at Atlus are smoking but they are just on another fuckin' level man. I don't think another team have ever been so clearly head-and-shoulders above every studio in the world on one specific thing. FromSoft and architecture, maybe? What blows me away is the little touches. The way the character icons change depending on the status effect they're inflicted with, those gorgeous win-screens, the coloured backgrounds in all the social menus. Ugh, oh my fucking god, man. Why does this series about anime teenagers of all things have so much fucking sauce? Western games are yearning for just a bit of this style. All these intangibles come together to mean that Persona 3, whilst an exercise in narrative monotony does at least have incredible vibes, which is the least you can do. You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it around in glitter.
I also wanna say that I actually liked the combat quite a lot. It's among my favourite JRPG battle systems I've seen. Snappy, surprisingly deep, highly customisable -- yeah, I liked it! I'm aware that combat was given a lot of quality-of-life changes from the original, and that's one of the other things that holds me back from giving this a 2 star rating or lower. I really can tell that this is an excellent remake on its own merits, and was very appreciative of its modern sensibilities (in particular, the fast-forward button. Holy shit, thank you god.) Unfortunately, the combat was delivered to me in the form of Tartarus, which got old about as fast as everything else! I did appreciate the occasional layout/aesthetic changes, but it's not enough to make up for the monotony. Have me doing combat in any context more interesting than trawling through 250+ hallways, and I'd just call combat an objective plus for Persona 3.
So, yeah. It didn't really do it for me unfortunately. It puts a lot into its story and characters and I just did not think they were good enough. I genuinely did try and go in with an open mind! But I also don't really know what I was expecting, I kinda knew that it did a lot of stuff I hate in video games before I began. It even does that "multiple choice questions where your answer doesn't matter at all" thing that JRPGs love doing for some reason! But hey, I've finished a Persona game now, no one can ever bug me about it again, and I did make literal Satan towards the end of the game and he did have what looked like 6 titties, so that was pretty cool.
slog through boring open worlds to chapters that have been changed enough to be annoying but not enough to be novel to ultimately reach the pretty good final chapter
Outer Wilds
2019
I've been looking forward to playing Outer Wilds ever since it came out, I heard pretty much everyone who played it say that it would change your life and I didn't exactly go in with those expectations, but I thought it would be my kind of thing! I have played a good few hours of it now and bounced off it eventually each time, it's probably just not for me! I am not rating the game however because my issues with it are more to do with me than the game. I wasn't interested in reading the Nomai transcripts, I didn't feel like I had a reason to care about what happened to them, nor did I want to find out why it happened. I liked the little puzzles and discovering new things, but the reward was always a little bit more Nomai dialogue. I realised at a certain point that the game was reminding me of my job as a Tech Support wanker. I worked in a job before where each problem we were dealing with we had to resolve in 20 minutes or we needed to escalate it to a different member of the team, so naturally I got quite good at gleaning the relevant information I needed from an email or phone call about an issue as quickly as i could, discarding whatever additional fluff there was and then trying out a few ideas as to what might solve this persons problem, hopefully fix it somehow and then move onto the next one. A lot of the time it was systems I was unfamililar with and I'd just have to try and work it out during this timeframe, basically throwing your head against this alien technology until you can just about get it to work. It got to the point where you don't really care what the problem is or what is going on, just how to make it stop or go away. The outer wilds has a lot more going on than just seeing an email from Wendy again saying that the software she uses isn't working properly and then trying to work out what's going on (puzzle), while basically filtering out any superfluous information that she gives (plot) but it made me feel like I was at work enough to really grind my gears. It's clearly a brilliantly designed thing, of the stuff I found in my few hours with it I really enjoyed the statue workshop and the caverns on the planet that was slowly being filled up with sand. Unfortunately no matter how hard I tried I couldn't help but feel like I was just doing my day job and you know what, fuck that
Ultrakill
2020
It's the perfect game.
Can't wait for it to be fucken FINISHED.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Can't wait for it to be fucken FINISHED.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Paper Mario
2000
Played this on Nintendo Switch Online :) I have been very unsure of 'menu' games for my entire life! I don't get them, I feel like it's just boring? Why would I want to press menu options to do my attacks instead of spamming buttons and rolling around and that. Anyway turns out when you make a menu game and plaster cute mario paper characters everywhere and also have charming and funny writing then I will be tricked into liking it :) I was drawn in by the action commands, since it added an extra element of interactivity and they were nice, but inconsistent. I liked the variety of inputs for them though. Shockingly I started to wish that the action commands weren't there and I instead could just, select my moves and let the battle play out without this extra element. I never hated them but yeah, Mario Paper drew me in and got me to like menu games. This game could could be 5 stars if they cut some stuff out I think. If it was maybe 6 chapters long, or even 5? The prologue was wonderful, Chapter 3 and 4 were great, and Chapter 7? Beautiful! Made me so happy, I had a smile on my face the whole way through basically. :) I liked choosing different badges and decided what one felt best. There were a couple of areas I became tired of but you know what? I was never sick of them, and while I was looking forward to the game being over I still had a good time with all of it and I'm excited to play TTYD :)
Been a while since I reviewed a Pokemon game, let's give this a go again! Platinum is of course - the definitive Gen 4 experience. It follows in the footsteps of Crystal & Emerald by elaborating on and perfecting many of the ideas put forth by its predecessors. (In this case, Diamond & Pearl.) We can argue all day about the ethics and integrity of the way Pokemon just releases a "better" version of their main releases like a year after they come out - but the fact remains, Platinum is good, and it's the best way to experience Sinnoh.
I like Gen 4 Pokemon a lot. Diamond & Pearl certainly have their flaws, but they have very likable, acceptable flaws. Okay, the battle animations are slow! There's poor type distribution! These are a far cry from the forced Exp. Share and railroady design we'd have to suffer through for the next 10+ years of the series after this. Gen 4 are the last Pokemon games to be truly open in their design until Gen 9. People love Black & White and all, but it doesn't get talked about enough how they started Pokemon's downward-world-design-spiral into linearity. Boxing you into small locations and forcing you to progress there before you can move on, completely eliminating any potential for simple exploration or interesting sequence breaking.
DPP (Diamond/Pearl/Platinum) are not quite as open as the Gen 2 & 3 games, but they're open enough to still give you that sense of adventure. The games in particular really open up around when you reach Hearthome City, and then have access to Veilstone and Pastoria City. I've always liked this about them. I like that you can have fun with the order in which you challenge Maylene, Crasher Wake & Fantina, I like that you can visit the Trophy Gardens and the Valor Lakefront as soon as you can make it to Hearthome. I like that you get teased with the route to Sunyshore well before you'll even get there! It's a rare case of Pokemon blocking a place off, and it actually feeling quite cool! You've got enough of the rest of the world open to you, so this builds up some anticipation! When this path finally clears up to you en route to your 8th gym badge, it's a great feeling! It can be done right! It's sensible here!
Of course this is a boon of Gen 4's design as a whole, but Platinum - on top of obviously sharing this design, then fixes or at least improves on basically every little problem Diamond & Pearl had. Battle animations are sped up now! Pokemon type distributions are way better! (There are more Fire types in the game than just the Chimchar line & Ponyta/Rapidash, lmao. Seriously, they had a Fire type Elite Four member in Diamond & Pearl who had two Fire type Pokemon, because that's all he could have! There were no more actually in the game! How does something like that slip past design?) And Team Galactic & Cyrus - who were really pretty shallow and generic are given more screentime with an awesome expanded Galactic HQ segment. I still don't care much for Cyrus as a character at all, but he's at least a bit less forgettable here - largely due to his involvement with one of the other coolest parts of the game; The Distortion World. Goddamn, how did they get this shit to work on the DS? It's like, seriously technically impressive. Giratina's appearance and general presentation towards the end of the game is so sick, maybe the most imposing a legendary Pokemon has ever felt. Capturing this thing almost feels wrong. I feel like I just threw a fuckin' Poke Ball at actual Satan.
On the note of things that I'm astounded worked on the DS, how about that soundtrack, huh? I know it's not a new opinion but Gen 4 Pokemon probably has the best soundtrack of the main games. It's got this serene, evocative, dream-like vibe. So much elegant piano and bluesy woodwind. It gets the idea of a rustic, mountainous region across perfectly. Eterna City and the Lake songs are among the most gorgeous pieces of music Pokemon has yet contributed, and it's no surprise so many people remember these games' OST's so fondly all these years later.
Platinum takes an already good Pokemon game and smooths out most of the edges. It doesn't fix every flaw. Even with more time with Cyrus & Team Galactic I still find them pretty generic, even for Pokemon antagonists. And imo these are the games where Pokemon stories delved into melodrama a bit too much! A few too many world-ending threats and abstract nouns getting thrown around here for my taste. You could also probably make the argument that the Pokemon designs what with stuff like Dialga, Palkia & Regigias start to go a bit far here. (Though I will forever love these games for introducing so many evolutions to previously underappreciated Pokemon. Honchkrow, Magnezone, Mamoswine my beloved.)
Sure, I could have stood for the world to be a bit more open a la Gens 2 & 3 as I always could! But Gen 4 and Platinum get way more right than they do wrong. They look and sound gorgeous, they feel like an adventure with some open and inspired world design, and then Platinum goes ahead and beefs up their already great post-game and Battle Frontier even more. It's just more of a good thing! And it's aged just as well as all of the other games from the golden age of Pokemon.
I like Gen 4 Pokemon a lot. Diamond & Pearl certainly have their flaws, but they have very likable, acceptable flaws. Okay, the battle animations are slow! There's poor type distribution! These are a far cry from the forced Exp. Share and railroady design we'd have to suffer through for the next 10+ years of the series after this. Gen 4 are the last Pokemon games to be truly open in their design until Gen 9. People love Black & White and all, but it doesn't get talked about enough how they started Pokemon's downward-world-design-spiral into linearity. Boxing you into small locations and forcing you to progress there before you can move on, completely eliminating any potential for simple exploration or interesting sequence breaking.
DPP (Diamond/Pearl/Platinum) are not quite as open as the Gen 2 & 3 games, but they're open enough to still give you that sense of adventure. The games in particular really open up around when you reach Hearthome City, and then have access to Veilstone and Pastoria City. I've always liked this about them. I like that you can have fun with the order in which you challenge Maylene, Crasher Wake & Fantina, I like that you can visit the Trophy Gardens and the Valor Lakefront as soon as you can make it to Hearthome. I like that you get teased with the route to Sunyshore well before you'll even get there! It's a rare case of Pokemon blocking a place off, and it actually feeling quite cool! You've got enough of the rest of the world open to you, so this builds up some anticipation! When this path finally clears up to you en route to your 8th gym badge, it's a great feeling! It can be done right! It's sensible here!
Of course this is a boon of Gen 4's design as a whole, but Platinum - on top of obviously sharing this design, then fixes or at least improves on basically every little problem Diamond & Pearl had. Battle animations are sped up now! Pokemon type distributions are way better! (There are more Fire types in the game than just the Chimchar line & Ponyta/Rapidash, lmao. Seriously, they had a Fire type Elite Four member in Diamond & Pearl who had two Fire type Pokemon, because that's all he could have! There were no more actually in the game! How does something like that slip past design?) And Team Galactic & Cyrus - who were really pretty shallow and generic are given more screentime with an awesome expanded Galactic HQ segment. I still don't care much for Cyrus as a character at all, but he's at least a bit less forgettable here - largely due to his involvement with one of the other coolest parts of the game; The Distortion World. Goddamn, how did they get this shit to work on the DS? It's like, seriously technically impressive. Giratina's appearance and general presentation towards the end of the game is so sick, maybe the most imposing a legendary Pokemon has ever felt. Capturing this thing almost feels wrong. I feel like I just threw a fuckin' Poke Ball at actual Satan.
On the note of things that I'm astounded worked on the DS, how about that soundtrack, huh? I know it's not a new opinion but Gen 4 Pokemon probably has the best soundtrack of the main games. It's got this serene, evocative, dream-like vibe. So much elegant piano and bluesy woodwind. It gets the idea of a rustic, mountainous region across perfectly. Eterna City and the Lake songs are among the most gorgeous pieces of music Pokemon has yet contributed, and it's no surprise so many people remember these games' OST's so fondly all these years later.
Platinum takes an already good Pokemon game and smooths out most of the edges. It doesn't fix every flaw. Even with more time with Cyrus & Team Galactic I still find them pretty generic, even for Pokemon antagonists. And imo these are the games where Pokemon stories delved into melodrama a bit too much! A few too many world-ending threats and abstract nouns getting thrown around here for my taste. You could also probably make the argument that the Pokemon designs what with stuff like Dialga, Palkia & Regigias start to go a bit far here. (Though I will forever love these games for introducing so many evolutions to previously underappreciated Pokemon. Honchkrow, Magnezone, Mamoswine my beloved.)
Sure, I could have stood for the world to be a bit more open a la Gens 2 & 3 as I always could! But Gen 4 and Platinum get way more right than they do wrong. They look and sound gorgeous, they feel like an adventure with some open and inspired world design, and then Platinum goes ahead and beefs up their already great post-game and Battle Frontier even more. It's just more of a good thing! And it's aged just as well as all of the other games from the golden age of Pokemon.
Metroid Fusion
2002
My first metroid game! I love me some castlevania and it was definitely time to try out some metroid of the catch all brain ear. It took me a long time to get on with the movement and rhythm of this game, now I've finished it I definitely think it works but coming from Castlevania which has a very deliberate pace to the movement, samus being so agile on the ground felt strange, especially when you jump, you lost all momentum! I really didn't like that, although I think it does work for this game. I don't want to spend too much time basically saying 'yeah I like castlevania more' but well... I do! hahaha. What I love about this game though, the vibe. the vibe is immaculate. It's so creepy and sinister and cheesy? I don't know if cheesy is the right word. I didn't care for the opening cutscene but running around this spooky space place and reading Samus' thoughts when she goes in lifts, fuck yeah. It ruled so much. Seeing Ridley in the ice, seeing the shadow of security robot, awesome. so many cool things happen here, I just don't personally love how it plays! But I'm really glad to have played this, and I'm very excited to play Metroid Dread!!!!!! and Prime oh my god¬!!!!