2019
Very strictly a 3 in terms of whack level design, but every time you fire the double barrel shotgun it violently sinewaves to a hard 5 star game.
1999
FF8 is like NIN's The Fragile, an insanely ambitious, huge, sprawling, and extremely different game to the smash mega-hit that preceded it, and not unlike FF7, it was very controversial. Thankfully, both the Fragile and FF8 seem to have gotten their due amount of love in recent years. Squall kind of looks like late 90s Trent Reznor too if you think about it...
Anyway, I am nearly at the finish line, but like FF7, I have hit a point in the game where I know my personal rating isn't going to change, and to me FF8 is a 5-star game as affecting and stunning as FF7. I might do a big writeup on how much I love it once I've actually beaten it, but for now I'll say that the amount of spectacle, visual variety, and really incredible emotional depth has turned me from a Final Fantasy VII fan into a Final Fantasy fan flat out. If IX and X are as good as this, and I have reason to believe they are, then I'm going to give even more of these games 5 stars.
With FF8 I've noticed a lot about the story mentioned by people who are incapable of Having Fun, and perpetuate the STUPID ass "Squall is dead" theory. BOO!! I hate that shit. To be honest though, I don't think the story was any more insane than Final Fantasy 7's, both are extremely grand and operatic narratives that are carried by a deeply human and colorful cast of characters. That is the strength of this series as I've found it: drop characters you want to see win in an insane and twisting plot. I think that's cool!! I want my fantasy game to be over-the-top and larger than life! I live a boring, consistent real life and it sucks ass!!
Suffice it to say, I fucking LOVE this game!!! The junction system is the most fun I've had experimenting with an RPG since Morrowind, figuring out the most interesting ways to break the game or alternatively, make it really challenging. I can see why this one is really divisive but I love this insanely ambitious game even when it is being messy. I don't really give a game a 5 if I think it's "mechanically perfect," because that's stupid. I give a game a 5 if I lay down at night thinking about it, if I'm at work thinking about it, and if I can't help but bring it up in conversation because I am so fixated on it, and FF8 is absolutely a game I can't stop thinking about or excitedly booting up to try new junctions, or play more triple triad.
Anyway, I am nearly at the finish line, but like FF7, I have hit a point in the game where I know my personal rating isn't going to change, and to me FF8 is a 5-star game as affecting and stunning as FF7. I might do a big writeup on how much I love it once I've actually beaten it, but for now I'll say that the amount of spectacle, visual variety, and really incredible emotional depth has turned me from a Final Fantasy VII fan into a Final Fantasy fan flat out. If IX and X are as good as this, and I have reason to believe they are, then I'm going to give even more of these games 5 stars.
With FF8 I've noticed a lot about the story mentioned by people who are incapable of Having Fun, and perpetuate the STUPID ass "Squall is dead" theory. BOO!! I hate that shit. To be honest though, I don't think the story was any more insane than Final Fantasy 7's, both are extremely grand and operatic narratives that are carried by a deeply human and colorful cast of characters. That is the strength of this series as I've found it: drop characters you want to see win in an insane and twisting plot. I think that's cool!! I want my fantasy game to be over-the-top and larger than life! I live a boring, consistent real life and it sucks ass!!
Suffice it to say, I fucking LOVE this game!!! The junction system is the most fun I've had experimenting with an RPG since Morrowind, figuring out the most interesting ways to break the game or alternatively, make it really challenging. I can see why this one is really divisive but I love this insanely ambitious game even when it is being messy. I don't really give a game a 5 if I think it's "mechanically perfect," because that's stupid. I give a game a 5 if I lay down at night thinking about it, if I'm at work thinking about it, and if I can't help but bring it up in conversation because I am so fixated on it, and FF8 is absolutely a game I can't stop thinking about or excitedly booting up to try new junctions, or play more triple triad.
2002
Never before has a game been so thoroughly blown out of the fucking room by its remake than Resident Evil 96. It's kind of a unique case-study on it too.
Resident Evil 2 Remake feels more like a companion piece to RE2, so i'd still recommend someone play both. Metroid 1 wasn't exactly "fun" and felt so prototypical that Zero Mission might as well be an entirely new game. This is the only remake where I'd say, "you don't need to play Resident Evil 96, you just need to play REmake." The clincher? Resident Evil 96 is still REALLY fucking good! That game is easily a 4 1/2 star game!! They took the foundation of a totally kickass game and made it fucking perfect!
Resident Evil 2 Remake feels more like a companion piece to RE2, so i'd still recommend someone play both. Metroid 1 wasn't exactly "fun" and felt so prototypical that Zero Mission might as well be an entirely new game. This is the only remake where I'd say, "you don't need to play Resident Evil 96, you just need to play REmake." The clincher? Resident Evil 96 is still REALLY fucking good! That game is easily a 4 1/2 star game!! They took the foundation of a totally kickass game and made it fucking perfect!
2009
destroying the central servers for this game would make you a worldwide hero, your name would be spoken of in epic poetry and bards would write songs about you.
The fact this isn't a mainstay in every arcade in America is proof that this country is full of fucking shit.
Borderline perfect. The amount of style on display with this game feels a little underappreciated. The iconic voice bellowing "THE HOUSE...OF THE DEAD" over Dracula's Castle organ music. The incredibly varied and inspired monster designs, all moving and animating just beautifully, dismembering in ways that surely had to have blown your fucking mind in 1996. The way every sound-effect is perfected, from the gunshot to headshot to "RE-RE-RELOAD!" I have to blame preservation as to why this game is not a stone-cold classic like House Of The Dead 2 rightfully is.
Playing this thing is such a fucking hassle that I can understand why you might not even bother. The Saturn version is a very watered-down version, having to push a LOT of polygons on the ill-equipped Saturn. The PC version is a headache to get running in any year after 2007. The remake is...oooouuugh the fucking remake.
Your best option to play this beautiful little game is to get it running on MAME, which is tricky since MAME is a total pain in the fucking ass to get working and nobody is going to care enough to do it.
So, let's say you get ALL OF THAT up and running, and you are finally able to play The House...of the Dead.
It's a 30 minute long rail shooter.
This is why it needs to be back in physical arcades!! The experience is neutered by the headache required to play it along with the fact it is such a short game by design. If I ever got rich, I guarantee you my first wasteful rich guy purchase is a cabinet of House Of The Dead and inviting everyone over to play it.
It's just a tragedy that the hideous remake is now people's image of the game, with just some of the most ghastly visuals I've ever seen. The original has such a great color palette, it looks a very distinct way, very sharp and direct. It's impossible to replicate with modern day slop graphics.
I also think we need to appreciate the Magician more. That might be one of the best monster designs I've ever seen. He looks noble and elegant yet beastly. He stands dignified and it is absolutely believable he would be some mad genius's crowning jewel.
I think this game is stellar. The music is more brilliance from Sega's music department and creates the perfect symphony for one of the best light-gun games ever made. It's just a shame you can't play it in its original form in any way that is convenient.
Borderline perfect. The amount of style on display with this game feels a little underappreciated. The iconic voice bellowing "THE HOUSE...OF THE DEAD" over Dracula's Castle organ music. The incredibly varied and inspired monster designs, all moving and animating just beautifully, dismembering in ways that surely had to have blown your fucking mind in 1996. The way every sound-effect is perfected, from the gunshot to headshot to "RE-RE-RELOAD!" I have to blame preservation as to why this game is not a stone-cold classic like House Of The Dead 2 rightfully is.
Playing this thing is such a fucking hassle that I can understand why you might not even bother. The Saturn version is a very watered-down version, having to push a LOT of polygons on the ill-equipped Saturn. The PC version is a headache to get running in any year after 2007. The remake is...oooouuugh the fucking remake.
Your best option to play this beautiful little game is to get it running on MAME, which is tricky since MAME is a total pain in the fucking ass to get working and nobody is going to care enough to do it.
So, let's say you get ALL OF THAT up and running, and you are finally able to play The House...of the Dead.
It's a 30 minute long rail shooter.
This is why it needs to be back in physical arcades!! The experience is neutered by the headache required to play it along with the fact it is such a short game by design. If I ever got rich, I guarantee you my first wasteful rich guy purchase is a cabinet of House Of The Dead and inviting everyone over to play it.
It's just a tragedy that the hideous remake is now people's image of the game, with just some of the most ghastly visuals I've ever seen. The original has such a great color palette, it looks a very distinct way, very sharp and direct. It's impossible to replicate with modern day slop graphics.
I also think we need to appreciate the Magician more. That might be one of the best monster designs I've ever seen. He looks noble and elegant yet beastly. He stands dignified and it is absolutely believable he would be some mad genius's crowning jewel.
I think this game is stellar. The music is more brilliance from Sega's music department and creates the perfect symphony for one of the best light-gun games ever made. It's just a shame you can't play it in its original form in any way that is convenient.
2004
One of the most unfortunately Mid games of all time. Every vertical slice of this game LOOKS amazing, FEELS really compelling, and seems as if it is amazing, but it does NOT stretch across an entire game's length. It's one of the most bizarre feats of game design ever, to make 30 seconds of fun but not one whole minute of it.
I adore the game's commitment to darkness, utilizing beautiful 2004 stencil shadows to create a true sense of claustrophobic darkness that only the Thief games can match, and the willingness to surround you in that darkness. But I absolutely fucking despise the BFG Edition for capitulating to morons who thought the darkness was a NEGATIVE and not something Doom 3 should have doubled down on.
What really kills Doom 3 is a few things: the terrible spread on the shotgun that renders a weapon you are going to use a lot really bad. The terrible damage indicator that shakes and flashes your screen, which makes getting ganked more annoying than it is frightening. But most importantly: this game is boring.
It starts off so promising, an effectively tension driven survival horror game, and as you get more powerful weapons you start to feel more in control of the situation, but there are so many grey corridors you can go through before you are just like, "I don't really care anymore." Unfortunately, Doom 3 ends up here when you still have like, 9 hours left of game to play. It's a genuine chore to beat this game, it isn't able to sustain pressure like System Shock 2, which it clearly was paying attention to. But it also isn't paced like Half Life, where you are never doing the same thing for too long. Hell, its gameplay loop isn't as perfect as FEAR, ensuring you wouldn't want to do anything else. It's just a kind of annoying gameplay loop that gets old real fast.
Like I said, a huge shame. As the way the game looks, the panicky way the guns swing around as you are getting swarmed in the dark, the animations on the guns are just superb, there is so much here that makes me wish I was a diehard Doom 3 defender, but unfortunately the bigger picture proves everyone right: this shit is Mid.
I adore the game's commitment to darkness, utilizing beautiful 2004 stencil shadows to create a true sense of claustrophobic darkness that only the Thief games can match, and the willingness to surround you in that darkness. But I absolutely fucking despise the BFG Edition for capitulating to morons who thought the darkness was a NEGATIVE and not something Doom 3 should have doubled down on.
What really kills Doom 3 is a few things: the terrible spread on the shotgun that renders a weapon you are going to use a lot really bad. The terrible damage indicator that shakes and flashes your screen, which makes getting ganked more annoying than it is frightening. But most importantly: this game is boring.
It starts off so promising, an effectively tension driven survival horror game, and as you get more powerful weapons you start to feel more in control of the situation, but there are so many grey corridors you can go through before you are just like, "I don't really care anymore." Unfortunately, Doom 3 ends up here when you still have like, 9 hours left of game to play. It's a genuine chore to beat this game, it isn't able to sustain pressure like System Shock 2, which it clearly was paying attention to. But it also isn't paced like Half Life, where you are never doing the same thing for too long. Hell, its gameplay loop isn't as perfect as FEAR, ensuring you wouldn't want to do anything else. It's just a kind of annoying gameplay loop that gets old real fast.
Like I said, a huge shame. As the way the game looks, the panicky way the guns swing around as you are getting swarmed in the dark, the animations on the guns are just superb, there is so much here that makes me wish I was a diehard Doom 3 defender, but unfortunately the bigger picture proves everyone right: this shit is Mid.
Look, I'll keep it real: I don't think it gets better than this. Playing this at an arcade is sublime, playing it at home is sublime. There is not a bad time to be playing House Of The Dead 2. Play it at Grandma's house, who gives a fuck!
I don't want to say that House Of The Dead 2 improves on its predecessor in every meaningful way, as I think both are functionally perfect at what they are setting out to do. It feels being needlessly nitpicky to try and denigrate one versus the other. I will say though that going from a fantastic gothic mansion to a beautifully rendered gothic European city is what gives this series that extra bit of spice. The locales are just incredible looking, the unnamed city clearly being Venice, Italy with a thick layer of grime applied to it. It's a visually very striking game, one of the earliest games I remember seeing and it absolutely struck a chord with me.
The monster designs are still the same level of high detailed grotesqueness that HotD1 showcased. I gotta say though, they outdid themselves with some of these guys. The "Bob" zombies who appear to have an executioner's hood stitched to their necks. The "Patrick" zombies in military fatigues with a pained look on their face. My absolute favorite, the "Ken" variant of the Kaegos, with a sick metal mask and pair of claws. Sega's ability to design the most entertaining group of guys to blow apart limb from limb is some auteur shit. This is an art game just by how cool all these fucking dudes are. The way they challenge the player's aiming is also more dynamic this time around. Randys hop around madly and can move from each side of the screen in an instant, Gregory uses a giant sword that can block your shots, requiring you to carefully hit him during openings. Gregory specifically comes before a boss based around that exact strategy! Cool stuff! There is also a greater variety of enemies who throw stuff at you, often in pairs, so you have to juggle priorities while shooting. For a game that by its very nature doesn't have a lot of depth, enemy design is absolutely trying to test the player as much as it can.
The violence in this bad boy is pretty graphic though. Was this a problem back in the day? This was such an established arcade cabinet to me I never thought about how gruesome it was. I can imagine someone's mom turning pale and fainting at the sight of the legendary Booger Monster as my friends and I christened him.
Bosses are a pretty vast upgrade across the board without question. There are more of them and they are actually challenging this time. I was going to go into depth about them, but I think they are all pretty much perfect. The way their weakspots aren't always visible means you no longer have total pushovers like Chariot was in the first game. Hierophant's chest flaps means you have to actually time your shots and can't just unload on him. Strength has very slim windows you can get a shot in on his head, and he scared the SHIT out of me as a kid because of that. The Magician, my beloved, returns, because honestly when you have a boss with THAT design and THAT banging theme, you really ought to bring him back. I'm glad they did! He rocks! The final boss, the Emperor, is actually a bit underwhelming in comparison to everyone else. He isn't quite as visually stunning, his theme is pretty average in comparison, but his pre-fight speech about hating mankind is pretty fucking awesome. Classic House of the Dead shit. The boss fights being framed with G's Files showing the weakpoints against taped pictures is another great aesthetic choice for a series that lives and dies on its visual flair.
I also think the rescues require more dynamic actions from the player. Remember, I'm using dynamic VERY lightly, as the main actions you take in this game are "shooting" and "not shooting." But a lot of the survivors will be positioned just awkwardly enough you'll have to place your shots carefully, or use trigger discipline that they don't get clipped by your shots. The amount this game requires you to carefully not shoot civilians, you have to imagine this is banned in every police academy in the country.
I should talk about the voice acting, actually. I'm gonna be honest, it might be that I have heard it so much in my life that I can recite it word-for-word, but I think it's mostly just funny bad. I don't think it's ASTONISHINGLY bad like Resident Evil 1. That game didn't sound like it was recorded by physical humans. I can tell actual people voiced James and Gary, very funny people, but people nonetheless. I don't know, it's still entertaining! But you be the judge.
Which is easy to do since you can actually play this pretty easily! It's on the dreamcast, PC, xbox with HOTD3 and wii, and while none of those versions are exactly READILY available, it's still a vast improvement over HotD1 only being playable via a putrid remake that looks like a 2010 shooter. Realistically, there should be a law that this has to be in every arcade or else it's not a legitimate business, but until then, play it anyway you can! It's fun! Play it with friends!
I don't want to say that House Of The Dead 2 improves on its predecessor in every meaningful way, as I think both are functionally perfect at what they are setting out to do. It feels being needlessly nitpicky to try and denigrate one versus the other. I will say though that going from a fantastic gothic mansion to a beautifully rendered gothic European city is what gives this series that extra bit of spice. The locales are just incredible looking, the unnamed city clearly being Venice, Italy with a thick layer of grime applied to it. It's a visually very striking game, one of the earliest games I remember seeing and it absolutely struck a chord with me.
The monster designs are still the same level of high detailed grotesqueness that HotD1 showcased. I gotta say though, they outdid themselves with some of these guys. The "Bob" zombies who appear to have an executioner's hood stitched to their necks. The "Patrick" zombies in military fatigues with a pained look on their face. My absolute favorite, the "Ken" variant of the Kaegos, with a sick metal mask and pair of claws. Sega's ability to design the most entertaining group of guys to blow apart limb from limb is some auteur shit. This is an art game just by how cool all these fucking dudes are. The way they challenge the player's aiming is also more dynamic this time around. Randys hop around madly and can move from each side of the screen in an instant, Gregory uses a giant sword that can block your shots, requiring you to carefully hit him during openings. Gregory specifically comes before a boss based around that exact strategy! Cool stuff! There is also a greater variety of enemies who throw stuff at you, often in pairs, so you have to juggle priorities while shooting. For a game that by its very nature doesn't have a lot of depth, enemy design is absolutely trying to test the player as much as it can.
The violence in this bad boy is pretty graphic though. Was this a problem back in the day? This was such an established arcade cabinet to me I never thought about how gruesome it was. I can imagine someone's mom turning pale and fainting at the sight of the legendary Booger Monster as my friends and I christened him.
Bosses are a pretty vast upgrade across the board without question. There are more of them and they are actually challenging this time. I was going to go into depth about them, but I think they are all pretty much perfect. The way their weakspots aren't always visible means you no longer have total pushovers like Chariot was in the first game. Hierophant's chest flaps means you have to actually time your shots and can't just unload on him. Strength has very slim windows you can get a shot in on his head, and he scared the SHIT out of me as a kid because of that. The Magician, my beloved, returns, because honestly when you have a boss with THAT design and THAT banging theme, you really ought to bring him back. I'm glad they did! He rocks! The final boss, the Emperor, is actually a bit underwhelming in comparison to everyone else. He isn't quite as visually stunning, his theme is pretty average in comparison, but his pre-fight speech about hating mankind is pretty fucking awesome. Classic House of the Dead shit. The boss fights being framed with G's Files showing the weakpoints against taped pictures is another great aesthetic choice for a series that lives and dies on its visual flair.
I also think the rescues require more dynamic actions from the player. Remember, I'm using dynamic VERY lightly, as the main actions you take in this game are "shooting" and "not shooting." But a lot of the survivors will be positioned just awkwardly enough you'll have to place your shots carefully, or use trigger discipline that they don't get clipped by your shots. The amount this game requires you to carefully not shoot civilians, you have to imagine this is banned in every police academy in the country.
I should talk about the voice acting, actually. I'm gonna be honest, it might be that I have heard it so much in my life that I can recite it word-for-word, but I think it's mostly just funny bad. I don't think it's ASTONISHINGLY bad like Resident Evil 1. That game didn't sound like it was recorded by physical humans. I can tell actual people voiced James and Gary, very funny people, but people nonetheless. I don't know, it's still entertaining! But you be the judge.
Which is easy to do since you can actually play this pretty easily! It's on the dreamcast, PC, xbox with HOTD3 and wii, and while none of those versions are exactly READILY available, it's still a vast improvement over HotD1 only being playable via a putrid remake that looks like a 2010 shooter. Realistically, there should be a law that this has to be in every arcade or else it's not a legitimate business, but until then, play it anyway you can! It's fun! Play it with friends!
2004
Half Life 1 is like a masterclass in pacing, as it moves from set-piece to set-piece with such confidence and intelligence that the game just breezes past you, on my most recent replay of it with my partner, it was basically just 6 perfect hours of one of the best games of all time.
Half Life 2, on the other hand, has so many bits that go on for fucking ever, and feel like they are NEVER going to end. It took multiple days of playing it where I just outright told them, "I am so sick of fighting the same 10 combine soldiers for today." This comes to a head near the end of the game in Anticitizen One and Follow Freeman, where you are fighting combine soldiers for what feels like 30000 hours. The combat is never engaging enough to carry the game on its own yet in some pivotal chapters it is being asked to carry hours worth of game. The game, ironically, excels when it is doing everything in its power to avoid gunfights. The explosive entrance to Nova Prospekt, the physics platforming of Sandtraps, the incredible finale of Our Benefactors, and of course the standout Ravenholm chapter.
When the game is clicking it reminds you why Half Life is such an incredible series, designed to almost perfection, and to be frank, back when I first played Half Life 2 around 2006, I did not share my current exhaustion with the combat, I found it thrilling and couldn't believe my computer was rendering such a lifelike experience. Nowadays? God why is Highway 17 so long?? Route Kanal and Water Hazard both feel like they are deliberately padded out!! Half Life 2 may have more variety than a game like F.E.A.R, but it is never as fun to play as F.E.A.R for an extended period of time.
But what it does better than other games, it does at a level of perfection few games could ever hope to match. Art direction, sound design, writing, animations, atmosphere, it is all typical Half Life brilliance. For the time, characters had never been this lifelike and well-realized, the main cast are such a lovable bunch with their own quirks and inner worlds, which thanks to the still really impressive facial animations, you can actually read them thinking and making decisions in their heads! It sounds a little odd, but watch Dr. Mossman in the Dark Energy chapter, and you can see her making the decision to betray Dr. Breen by her expression, it makes it feel more real in a way few games ever wore in 2004.
For what it far exceeds its predecessor on in terms of characterization, it really brutally lacks the precision pacing that makes Half Life 1 still one of the few games that could be described as "perfect." It feels desperate to deliver on being Half-Life 2, which in 2004 meant having way too much of everything, so after you shoot some combine overwatch and think, "damn this is kind of bland," I hope you are ready for 10 more hours of exactly that!!
Half Life 2, on the other hand, has so many bits that go on for fucking ever, and feel like they are NEVER going to end. It took multiple days of playing it where I just outright told them, "I am so sick of fighting the same 10 combine soldiers for today." This comes to a head near the end of the game in Anticitizen One and Follow Freeman, where you are fighting combine soldiers for what feels like 30000 hours. The combat is never engaging enough to carry the game on its own yet in some pivotal chapters it is being asked to carry hours worth of game. The game, ironically, excels when it is doing everything in its power to avoid gunfights. The explosive entrance to Nova Prospekt, the physics platforming of Sandtraps, the incredible finale of Our Benefactors, and of course the standout Ravenholm chapter.
When the game is clicking it reminds you why Half Life is such an incredible series, designed to almost perfection, and to be frank, back when I first played Half Life 2 around 2006, I did not share my current exhaustion with the combat, I found it thrilling and couldn't believe my computer was rendering such a lifelike experience. Nowadays? God why is Highway 17 so long?? Route Kanal and Water Hazard both feel like they are deliberately padded out!! Half Life 2 may have more variety than a game like F.E.A.R, but it is never as fun to play as F.E.A.R for an extended period of time.
But what it does better than other games, it does at a level of perfection few games could ever hope to match. Art direction, sound design, writing, animations, atmosphere, it is all typical Half Life brilliance. For the time, characters had never been this lifelike and well-realized, the main cast are such a lovable bunch with their own quirks and inner worlds, which thanks to the still really impressive facial animations, you can actually read them thinking and making decisions in their heads! It sounds a little odd, but watch Dr. Mossman in the Dark Energy chapter, and you can see her making the decision to betray Dr. Breen by her expression, it makes it feel more real in a way few games ever wore in 2004.
For what it far exceeds its predecessor on in terms of characterization, it really brutally lacks the precision pacing that makes Half Life 1 still one of the few games that could be described as "perfect." It feels desperate to deliver on being Half-Life 2, which in 2004 meant having way too much of everything, so after you shoot some combine overwatch and think, "damn this is kind of bland," I hope you are ready for 10 more hours of exactly that!!
There are many words that make me think of Code Veronica, and they are: tedious, ugly, charmless, crap, poop, pee, piss, ass, fart, crap (again), and steve.
For years the only way this game has occupied my memory is with the admittedly pretty clever metal detector puzzle, that actually has great tension and payoff to it. Much to my surprise, the actual game is so putrid, so unlikable, so regularly irritating that I can't even say I like it due to it sharing the same disc space as the rest of Code Veronica.
In an act that has baffled many scholars for years, this was considered a particularly GOOD game for a long time. There's a famous 7.0 review of Silent Hill 2 making the rounds right now where Code Veronica is rated HIGHER than it. I don't like to cast wide nets about people's personalities based on what they rate games, but maybe your soul is unclean and heaven's gates will reject you if you believe that.
A fully 3D entry, you might be surprised to see them utilize the third dimension for some truly lifeless, ugly as sin environments that didn't look good AT the time. Silent Hill 1 has more art and beauty than this game, because I guess actual artists worked on it and had ideas, when Code Veronica only had ideas for Steve and the Ashford Twins. The Ashford Twins are such an antiquated and terrible idea on the face of it that I don't even want to discuss them, but fucking Steve. OH I can talk about Steve.
He might be the perfect embodiment of Code Veronica, he fits so perfectly in this game by being so irritating and such a clearly bad idea that in the grand scheme of this game it makes PERFECT sense why he is here. Did they even try to make him likeable? I know his english voice is so famously terrible, so incredibly bad that it is beyond belief, but could you ever actually like this annoying brat even in the japanese dub? If there is an undub, I've never played it, and if there is, I'm not playing THIS game ever again. This one is very firmly going on "Hated Of All Time" piles. This game just flat sucks, it could have had the fucking Soul Reaver voice cast and the gameplay would still be just straight Not Fun.
For the record, I understand why this game has been skipped for a remake: it is so bereft of any good ideas you'd have to essentially make a BRAND new game in its place, there is NOTHING here worth revisiting.
For years the only way this game has occupied my memory is with the admittedly pretty clever metal detector puzzle, that actually has great tension and payoff to it. Much to my surprise, the actual game is so putrid, so unlikable, so regularly irritating that I can't even say I like it due to it sharing the same disc space as the rest of Code Veronica.
In an act that has baffled many scholars for years, this was considered a particularly GOOD game for a long time. There's a famous 7.0 review of Silent Hill 2 making the rounds right now where Code Veronica is rated HIGHER than it. I don't like to cast wide nets about people's personalities based on what they rate games, but maybe your soul is unclean and heaven's gates will reject you if you believe that.
A fully 3D entry, you might be surprised to see them utilize the third dimension for some truly lifeless, ugly as sin environments that didn't look good AT the time. Silent Hill 1 has more art and beauty than this game, because I guess actual artists worked on it and had ideas, when Code Veronica only had ideas for Steve and the Ashford Twins. The Ashford Twins are such an antiquated and terrible idea on the face of it that I don't even want to discuss them, but fucking Steve. OH I can talk about Steve.
He might be the perfect embodiment of Code Veronica, he fits so perfectly in this game by being so irritating and such a clearly bad idea that in the grand scheme of this game it makes PERFECT sense why he is here. Did they even try to make him likeable? I know his english voice is so famously terrible, so incredibly bad that it is beyond belief, but could you ever actually like this annoying brat even in the japanese dub? If there is an undub, I've never played it, and if there is, I'm not playing THIS game ever again. This one is very firmly going on "Hated Of All Time" piles. This game just flat sucks, it could have had the fucking Soul Reaver voice cast and the gameplay would still be just straight Not Fun.
For the record, I understand why this game has been skipped for a remake: it is so bereft of any good ideas you'd have to essentially make a BRAND new game in its place, there is NOTHING here worth revisiting.
okay i have now completed a 100% playthrough of this bad boy and i gotta say: nintendo greenlit a remaster that's GOOD? it plays better than the original?? runs better? looks amazing? did someone do this behind their back or on a computer not connected to their servers. that is the only explanation for this being leaps and bounds better than the anemic 3D All-Stars. Metroid got a better remaster than MARIO, that's insane. Prime was one of the best looking games on the Gamecube and is now one of the best looking games on the Switch.
The actual game is preserved Metroid Prime goodness, you even have the original control scheme as an option along with customizations to tailor it to your playstyle. You can unlock the beautiful Metroid Prime concept art, listen to the kickass OST, and even adjust the helmet effects that define Metroid Prime if you're a sicko.
This is one of the most lovingly crafted remasters ever, that recaptures everything that made Prime so awe-inspiring, but plays so beautifully they honestly could just drop the "remastered" from the title and convince someone this game is brand-new entirely.
The actual game is preserved Metroid Prime goodness, you even have the original control scheme as an option along with customizations to tailor it to your playstyle. You can unlock the beautiful Metroid Prime concept art, listen to the kickass OST, and even adjust the helmet effects that define Metroid Prime if you're a sicko.
This is one of the most lovingly crafted remasters ever, that recaptures everything that made Prime so awe-inspiring, but plays so beautifully they honestly could just drop the "remastered" from the title and convince someone this game is brand-new entirely.
1999
This review contains spoilers
My final log on FF8 I promise. I had to do one more please understand.
Now that I've beaten it I feel comfortable waxing poetic about it. I don't feel bad about it either! I see you out here writing 1000 words about Kirby and Homestuck, I'm writing an essay on FF8!! I safely feel like I've played the absolute shit out of it, I spent 50 hours on it and I loved every second of it. But, to be honest, I have delayed my FF9 play through just to play MORE of this game. It scratches such a particular itch that I didn't know I had.
The junction system, maligned by many, is one that I personally just sunk into, I loved finding creatures with rare spells I could put to sleep and just wring them dry of them, it makes what should feel like an exploit feel like gaming the system in my favor. FF8 is really a game that encourages you to use any opportunity you can find, it rewards a player who can get their party so fucked up that they one-hit a monster the second they spot them. Coming up with a party configuration to annihilate the Marlboros is one of those satisfactions that doesn't come very often in a game. This and FF7 have turned me into a turn-based combat die hard. Give me the menus!! I fucking LOVE MENUS!!
This game does do a really bad job at onboarding you for the junction system though, which I will not deny even a little bit. This game even has way more tutorials than FF7 ever did and it still took me many, many hours of trial and error before I really understood what I was doing.
It actually lead to a funny scenario. I went on vacation last month, and my save file for FF8 was on my PS3. While I was gone I was still itching to play FF8 so I said "Ah fuck it" and played the Remastered version that I still think looks fugly. Well, at that point I had become so much more knowledgeable on junctioning and triple triad that my party was swole as fuck, and when I returned home my PS1 party was completely underpowered compared to them. It creates a very interesting game where you're able to modify the difficulty very gradually, knowing it so well you can make it really hard or easy on yourself. I personally chose to junction sleep to Squall and silence to Zell, so I could basically just bully an Iron Giant into submission. After some of the shit I went through in FF7 this was vindicating.
Also the FMVs? God damn. I am going to deeply regret when voice acting is introduced, because the things they do with non-verbal communication and body language here is to die for. The dance sequence between Rinoa and Squall was the moment I was IN, the character dynamics already so delightful to see in action, and the call-back to it in the ending...damn who is cutting onions in here??
I also love these limit breaks, it is insane how strong they are. Squall can do the izuna drop, Zell does God Hand shit, Selphie damns enemies to Hell, Irvine just fucking shoots the shit out of people, and Quistis sends people to the shadow realm. It's all the completely over-the-top spectacle that has captivated me with Final Fantasy. Why just hit someone with a sword? Why not hit them 10 times in an aerial combo? Why just summon a guy to attack? Why not summon a guy to collapse the universe around a single enemy? While this shit definitely needs a skip button, I still find it funny when people rail on Final Fantasy for spectacle. Like, fuck are these epic internet gaming fucks capable of having some fun in their goddamn life.
Speaking of Epic Internet Gaming Bros who Smell, ProJared hates this game so I'm just letting you all know it's not too late to hear me out on this game.
The plot has been very much reclaimed over the years, as the geriatric gamer crowd who hated it so much have been flushed down the toilet of obscurity where they fucking belong. Spoony was wrong about Phantasmagoria 2 and this game!! He was never an effective media critic or comedian! The confusion surrounding the plot does absolutely baffle me though, are people not paying attention? Are they being daft on purpose? The game is explicitly clear what it's about. People are desperate to CHANGE THE PAST, people lament the TIME THEY LOST with loved ones, the main villain is ulTIMEcia. When time compression is first introduced Squall can't even focus on it as he is distracted thinking of Rinoa, it could not be more obvious!! Yet people act like the plot is fucking Ulysses! The most stunning criticism I see is how Squall only starts worrying about Rinoa after she falls into a coma.
Yeah? Have you ever had a real life experience before? What the fuck. Of course only when it's too late do you realize what you have lost, that's the ENTIRE FUCKING POINT OF THE GAME!!! FUCK!!! Sorry I'm getting really mad at a strawman gamer I'm picturing in my head who uses phrases like "it's objectively trash" or "this game aged bad" and shadow boxing at him like Zell does. Hey speaking of Zell!!
I love these characters! After FF7 had the best cast of all time, I was wondering how they'd top it, and they did it with another best cast of all time. Interesting is how different all of them are even when they play into the same archetypes, as it feels like FF8 has gone to great lengths to give characters a duality to them that gives them a depth that took me off guard. Squall is cold, distant, and emotionally closed, but is so insecure of how people perceive him that he takes great pangs to control their perception. Zell is hot-headed and doesn't think before he speaks, but can be level-headed and knows a great deal about the world around him, even being really beloved in his hometown! Irvine puts on a front of a cool and lone sniper, but is secretly shocked and confused that people he grew up with simply don't remember him anymore, and Rinoa, fuckin' Rinoa, I love this character. Her interactions with Squall, fuck it, her interactions with anyone! She can be naive, childish, and bratty, but also very introspective, very world-weary, she can ask Squall very matter-of-factly if he's prepared to kill Seifer, and she can see the tragedy in a 17 year old so ready to make that decision.
FF8 captures the fact that teenagers aren't so cut-and-dry, they can make good decisions, bad decisions, they can sometimes make decisions that wouldn't make sense to anyone but them. Whenever I see characters taken down a peg for it, it strikes me as people being infected with a lethal case of TvTropes brain, making them think characters not behaving rationally 100% of the time is a ding against the game. Not just for the sake of FF8, but for the sake of art in general, you HAVE to get that line of thinking out of your head, it is the destroyer of art. Teens fuckup all the time, that's part of the coming-of-age narrative in FF8. When I was 16 I tried dropping out of high school, why? Late 20s me couldn't even fucking tell you! I'm glad I didn't! But that's one of those things where I was doing shit off of my gut, because I felt like I had to. Squall feels like he has to close people off, can't let anyone in, and when someone as stubborn as Rinoa tries to get in, he only fortifies those walls. Once she's gone though? Only then does he realize what her laugh, her smile, her voice meant to him.
That's not bad writing, that's not a contrivance, that's how people are. FF8 has characters I believe, I root for them, I love seeing their adventures, and I love seeing them come closer.
What's interesting though is that I think years of life experience has given me a lot from this game than I probably would have AT 17. When I was a teenager I was listening to nothing but Foetus and was deeply cynical about love, you know how kids are. A game about love? About time? Who needs love? I got all the time in the world!!
Well, I am now in my late 20s and I don't have all the time in the world, I have loved, I do have regrets about love and life, and sometimes I do wish I could have gone back and made better decisions. But FF8 argues in a way that I find emotionally very gripping in this time in my life, that the past is immovable, but you are able to shape things in the present. Squall choose to open up to Rinoa in the Ragnarok, he chooses to hold her and smell the roses, it's one of the most beautiful scenes I've seen in a game for how many little things it says.
The fact it takes place after battling aliens on a spaceship is why Final Fantasy is the GOAT in my eyes.
So I adore FF8, I'd even go as far to say that I am in love with this game. It's a game I could write thousands and thousands of words on. It's another FF7 case where I don't think it's perfect, but for how much scope and ambition is put into such an experimental, personal game is still hard to wrap my head around. Some modern AAA games feel like every plot point, every story beat, is carefully crafted to be crowd-pleasing, but FF7 and FF8 have felt like no one was telling them what to do, they had a story in their hearts and fuck they were GOING To tell it. I'm really glad they did.
Now that I've beaten it I feel comfortable waxing poetic about it. I don't feel bad about it either! I see you out here writing 1000 words about Kirby and Homestuck, I'm writing an essay on FF8!! I safely feel like I've played the absolute shit out of it, I spent 50 hours on it and I loved every second of it. But, to be honest, I have delayed my FF9 play through just to play MORE of this game. It scratches such a particular itch that I didn't know I had.
The junction system, maligned by many, is one that I personally just sunk into, I loved finding creatures with rare spells I could put to sleep and just wring them dry of them, it makes what should feel like an exploit feel like gaming the system in my favor. FF8 is really a game that encourages you to use any opportunity you can find, it rewards a player who can get their party so fucked up that they one-hit a monster the second they spot them. Coming up with a party configuration to annihilate the Marlboros is one of those satisfactions that doesn't come very often in a game. This and FF7 have turned me into a turn-based combat die hard. Give me the menus!! I fucking LOVE MENUS!!
This game does do a really bad job at onboarding you for the junction system though, which I will not deny even a little bit. This game even has way more tutorials than FF7 ever did and it still took me many, many hours of trial and error before I really understood what I was doing.
It actually lead to a funny scenario. I went on vacation last month, and my save file for FF8 was on my PS3. While I was gone I was still itching to play FF8 so I said "Ah fuck it" and played the Remastered version that I still think looks fugly. Well, at that point I had become so much more knowledgeable on junctioning and triple triad that my party was swole as fuck, and when I returned home my PS1 party was completely underpowered compared to them. It creates a very interesting game where you're able to modify the difficulty very gradually, knowing it so well you can make it really hard or easy on yourself. I personally chose to junction sleep to Squall and silence to Zell, so I could basically just bully an Iron Giant into submission. After some of the shit I went through in FF7 this was vindicating.
Also the FMVs? God damn. I am going to deeply regret when voice acting is introduced, because the things they do with non-verbal communication and body language here is to die for. The dance sequence between Rinoa and Squall was the moment I was IN, the character dynamics already so delightful to see in action, and the call-back to it in the ending...damn who is cutting onions in here??
I also love these limit breaks, it is insane how strong they are. Squall can do the izuna drop, Zell does God Hand shit, Selphie damns enemies to Hell, Irvine just fucking shoots the shit out of people, and Quistis sends people to the shadow realm. It's all the completely over-the-top spectacle that has captivated me with Final Fantasy. Why just hit someone with a sword? Why not hit them 10 times in an aerial combo? Why just summon a guy to attack? Why not summon a guy to collapse the universe around a single enemy? While this shit definitely needs a skip button, I still find it funny when people rail on Final Fantasy for spectacle. Like, fuck are these epic internet gaming fucks capable of having some fun in their goddamn life.
Speaking of Epic Internet Gaming Bros who Smell, ProJared hates this game so I'm just letting you all know it's not too late to hear me out on this game.
The plot has been very much reclaimed over the years, as the geriatric gamer crowd who hated it so much have been flushed down the toilet of obscurity where they fucking belong. Spoony was wrong about Phantasmagoria 2 and this game!! He was never an effective media critic or comedian! The confusion surrounding the plot does absolutely baffle me though, are people not paying attention? Are they being daft on purpose? The game is explicitly clear what it's about. People are desperate to CHANGE THE PAST, people lament the TIME THEY LOST with loved ones, the main villain is ulTIMEcia. When time compression is first introduced Squall can't even focus on it as he is distracted thinking of Rinoa, it could not be more obvious!! Yet people act like the plot is fucking Ulysses! The most stunning criticism I see is how Squall only starts worrying about Rinoa after she falls into a coma.
Yeah? Have you ever had a real life experience before? What the fuck. Of course only when it's too late do you realize what you have lost, that's the ENTIRE FUCKING POINT OF THE GAME!!! FUCK!!! Sorry I'm getting really mad at a strawman gamer I'm picturing in my head who uses phrases like "it's objectively trash" or "this game aged bad" and shadow boxing at him like Zell does. Hey speaking of Zell!!
I love these characters! After FF7 had the best cast of all time, I was wondering how they'd top it, and they did it with another best cast of all time. Interesting is how different all of them are even when they play into the same archetypes, as it feels like FF8 has gone to great lengths to give characters a duality to them that gives them a depth that took me off guard. Squall is cold, distant, and emotionally closed, but is so insecure of how people perceive him that he takes great pangs to control their perception. Zell is hot-headed and doesn't think before he speaks, but can be level-headed and knows a great deal about the world around him, even being really beloved in his hometown! Irvine puts on a front of a cool and lone sniper, but is secretly shocked and confused that people he grew up with simply don't remember him anymore, and Rinoa, fuckin' Rinoa, I love this character. Her interactions with Squall, fuck it, her interactions with anyone! She can be naive, childish, and bratty, but also very introspective, very world-weary, she can ask Squall very matter-of-factly if he's prepared to kill Seifer, and she can see the tragedy in a 17 year old so ready to make that decision.
FF8 captures the fact that teenagers aren't so cut-and-dry, they can make good decisions, bad decisions, they can sometimes make decisions that wouldn't make sense to anyone but them. Whenever I see characters taken down a peg for it, it strikes me as people being infected with a lethal case of TvTropes brain, making them think characters not behaving rationally 100% of the time is a ding against the game. Not just for the sake of FF8, but for the sake of art in general, you HAVE to get that line of thinking out of your head, it is the destroyer of art. Teens fuckup all the time, that's part of the coming-of-age narrative in FF8. When I was 16 I tried dropping out of high school, why? Late 20s me couldn't even fucking tell you! I'm glad I didn't! But that's one of those things where I was doing shit off of my gut, because I felt like I had to. Squall feels like he has to close people off, can't let anyone in, and when someone as stubborn as Rinoa tries to get in, he only fortifies those walls. Once she's gone though? Only then does he realize what her laugh, her smile, her voice meant to him.
That's not bad writing, that's not a contrivance, that's how people are. FF8 has characters I believe, I root for them, I love seeing their adventures, and I love seeing them come closer.
What's interesting though is that I think years of life experience has given me a lot from this game than I probably would have AT 17. When I was a teenager I was listening to nothing but Foetus and was deeply cynical about love, you know how kids are. A game about love? About time? Who needs love? I got all the time in the world!!
Well, I am now in my late 20s and I don't have all the time in the world, I have loved, I do have regrets about love and life, and sometimes I do wish I could have gone back and made better decisions. But FF8 argues in a way that I find emotionally very gripping in this time in my life, that the past is immovable, but you are able to shape things in the present. Squall choose to open up to Rinoa in the Ragnarok, he chooses to hold her and smell the roses, it's one of the most beautiful scenes I've seen in a game for how many little things it says.
The fact it takes place after battling aliens on a spaceship is why Final Fantasy is the GOAT in my eyes.
So I adore FF8, I'd even go as far to say that I am in love with this game. It's a game I could write thousands and thousands of words on. It's another FF7 case where I don't think it's perfect, but for how much scope and ambition is put into such an experimental, personal game is still hard to wrap my head around. Some modern AAA games feel like every plot point, every story beat, is carefully crafted to be crowd-pleasing, but FF7 and FF8 have felt like no one was telling them what to do, they had a story in their hearts and fuck they were GOING To tell it. I'm really glad they did.
2021
Played a TON of this at release and climbed the ranks using the ultimate badass: Crustle. If your team doesn't have that nasty motherfucker you might as well surrender.
Look, they'll kill me for saying it, but I fucking love this doofy ass game. I love a MOBA that doesn't require hiring private tutors to grasp (DOTA 2) or a MOBA that doesn't require you be on the sex-offender registry (League of Legends) to play.
What I think I like about it in comparison to other MOBAs is that the cast hasn't been infested with Anime Badass Action Heroes. Because it can't. Because it's Pokemon. All the Pokemon are so visually distinct that you always know who you are up against and what to look out for, instead of every League character becoming a variation of "Shonen Hero" who has 12 different abilities and can't die and also his ultimate is always off cooldown.
Hey, speaking of that. Is there a character better designed than Blastoise? Like, visually, how did they nail that? The original designer probably was nervous to show it to his boss because he was certain that Blastoise had already been thought up, I mean, he HAD to have been. I fucking love Blastoise.
Basically, if I can play as Blastoise I will play your game.
Look, they'll kill me for saying it, but I fucking love this doofy ass game. I love a MOBA that doesn't require hiring private tutors to grasp (DOTA 2) or a MOBA that doesn't require you be on the sex-offender registry (League of Legends) to play.
What I think I like about it in comparison to other MOBAs is that the cast hasn't been infested with Anime Badass Action Heroes. Because it can't. Because it's Pokemon. All the Pokemon are so visually distinct that you always know who you are up against and what to look out for, instead of every League character becoming a variation of "Shonen Hero" who has 12 different abilities and can't die and also his ultimate is always off cooldown.
Hey, speaking of that. Is there a character better designed than Blastoise? Like, visually, how did they nail that? The original designer probably was nervous to show it to his boss because he was certain that Blastoise had already been thought up, I mean, he HAD to have been. I fucking love Blastoise.
Basically, if I can play as Blastoise I will play your game.
2005
When you play a game this stylish, this creative, and this smart, you start to get pissed off when other games aren't like it. When a game has a way-too-long walking and talking segment or a dumbass crafting system, your mind will wander to an adventure game rail shooter where you can play a luchador that discusses the divide of east and west and think, "hmm, wouldn't it be cool if all games were amazing."
One of the best controlling games on the PS2. Ratchet is as effortless to maneuver as ever, with his movement being some of the best to ever grace a console. Bad news is, they forgot to design any levels this time around!
I feel like with each subsequent Ratchet game, I go back and rate the last one higher for what the sequel is lacking. By the time I finish Into the Nexus, Ratchet and Clank 2002 will have 13 stars added to it.
Up Your Arsenal is widely considered the best in the series, and I've also seen people who despise this game. I can't find it in my heart to hate Up Your Arsenal, but I also am not in love with it either, but I find it a bit weak to say I'm somewhere in the middle. The problem is how unfinished the game feels at points, it makes it difficult TO make any grand statement on it when it feels like a dev studio who has been worked to fucking death is starting to burn at both ends. I wish they had been allowed to, you know, take a break and let this game cook, because there's a lot to love here! When a game is made in not even an entire year and has a multiplayer shoehorned into it, it's a miracle the game doesn't mircowave your PS2.
The biggest casualty here, as I alluded to up top, is the level design. There are very few proper Ratchet and Clank levels here: interesting platforming and combat challenges with branching paths and unique level gimmicks. They had started to dissipate by the end of Going Commando, and in Up Your Arsenal they are almost completely M.I.A. In their place you will find a bunch of repurposed multiplayer maps made into Battelfield missions, which I honestly wouldn't have an issue with, if the enemy design was more engaging. Enemies are nowhere near as dynamic as the old games, and are repeated ad nauseam to the point the action just becomes a lot of noise.
This is a tragedy, as the action is the best it has ever been! The guns look and sound great, they upgrade regularly keeping your rotation constantly relevant, and Ratchet's quickness means you can pull off some awesome fucking stunts during the combat, it's just dying for a cast of enemies that compliment it.
Gone is also the biting satire that gave the first two games an anarchic edge. The toll gates are gone, which for games about how self-serving every single person is, fit perfectly. It feels like everything that gave Ratchet and Clank a unique identity is in the process of being sanded down: a process that will be hideously complete with Ratchet and Clank 2016. Here, it is being sanded down into a very fun third-person action game, so I'm not TOO bent out of shape about it, but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the vibrant and enigmatic nature of 1 and hell, even Going Commando. The colors are just gone! The terrain is just a straight shot to the end with a couple of jumps here and there to remind you of old times. The menus and hud are nasty fucking orange and lack any and all identity. Also what happened to the main menu?? Insomniac have always had some great main menus but now it's just Fugly Orange Boxes. What They Do To You Ratchet!!! During the Giant Clank fight at the Holovid studio, it occurred to me that the fight was less visually dynamic than the Godzilla fight in Gex: Enter The Gecko, a game for the PS1. It finally dawned on me that this is a visually very ugly game, even while the character animations are at their peak. It's a very odd contradiction for the game to be living.
The story is also here, and it's whatever. Nefarious is entertainingly hammy and his butler Lawrence is a great foil. Qwark's plans, drawn in crayon, showing Ratchet constantly having to put himself into dangerous scenarios is very funny, and Jim Ward continues to deliver absolute gold as Qwark. James Arnold Taylor also gets some incredible voice work done here as Ratchet, after his personality was in a weird transitory period in GC. I still found the dialogue to be entertaining and snappy enough to keep me going until the end, but nothing was as delightfully clever as it used to be. A main plot about an evil robot wanting to destroy humans is so by-the-books, what happened to the game I love.
This is the first game to have actual writers on board, which, along with 2016's putrid stench still hanging around, leads me to believe that professional writers are hacks. Much to think about here.
The forced-in multiplayer, which obviously affected the single player's development, can't be played anymore, so, cool. Nice. It was a lot of fun back in the day though, they were kind of cooking with that one.
No grind-rails, no space fighting, no racing, only one arena, there is just so much missing here from Going Commando that while I think Up Your Arsenal is more mechanically solid than GC, I just can't agree with anyone saying it's some kind of masterpiece when I am really starting to think this series peaked with the first one and just goes downhill from there.
I feel like with each subsequent Ratchet game, I go back and rate the last one higher for what the sequel is lacking. By the time I finish Into the Nexus, Ratchet and Clank 2002 will have 13 stars added to it.
Up Your Arsenal is widely considered the best in the series, and I've also seen people who despise this game. I can't find it in my heart to hate Up Your Arsenal, but I also am not in love with it either, but I find it a bit weak to say I'm somewhere in the middle. The problem is how unfinished the game feels at points, it makes it difficult TO make any grand statement on it when it feels like a dev studio who has been worked to fucking death is starting to burn at both ends. I wish they had been allowed to, you know, take a break and let this game cook, because there's a lot to love here! When a game is made in not even an entire year and has a multiplayer shoehorned into it, it's a miracle the game doesn't mircowave your PS2.
The biggest casualty here, as I alluded to up top, is the level design. There are very few proper Ratchet and Clank levels here: interesting platforming and combat challenges with branching paths and unique level gimmicks. They had started to dissipate by the end of Going Commando, and in Up Your Arsenal they are almost completely M.I.A. In their place you will find a bunch of repurposed multiplayer maps made into Battelfield missions, which I honestly wouldn't have an issue with, if the enemy design was more engaging. Enemies are nowhere near as dynamic as the old games, and are repeated ad nauseam to the point the action just becomes a lot of noise.
This is a tragedy, as the action is the best it has ever been! The guns look and sound great, they upgrade regularly keeping your rotation constantly relevant, and Ratchet's quickness means you can pull off some awesome fucking stunts during the combat, it's just dying for a cast of enemies that compliment it.
Gone is also the biting satire that gave the first two games an anarchic edge. The toll gates are gone, which for games about how self-serving every single person is, fit perfectly. It feels like everything that gave Ratchet and Clank a unique identity is in the process of being sanded down: a process that will be hideously complete with Ratchet and Clank 2016. Here, it is being sanded down into a very fun third-person action game, so I'm not TOO bent out of shape about it, but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the vibrant and enigmatic nature of 1 and hell, even Going Commando. The colors are just gone! The terrain is just a straight shot to the end with a couple of jumps here and there to remind you of old times. The menus and hud are nasty fucking orange and lack any and all identity. Also what happened to the main menu?? Insomniac have always had some great main menus but now it's just Fugly Orange Boxes. What They Do To You Ratchet!!! During the Giant Clank fight at the Holovid studio, it occurred to me that the fight was less visually dynamic than the Godzilla fight in Gex: Enter The Gecko, a game for the PS1. It finally dawned on me that this is a visually very ugly game, even while the character animations are at their peak. It's a very odd contradiction for the game to be living.
The story is also here, and it's whatever. Nefarious is entertainingly hammy and his butler Lawrence is a great foil. Qwark's plans, drawn in crayon, showing Ratchet constantly having to put himself into dangerous scenarios is very funny, and Jim Ward continues to deliver absolute gold as Qwark. James Arnold Taylor also gets some incredible voice work done here as Ratchet, after his personality was in a weird transitory period in GC. I still found the dialogue to be entertaining and snappy enough to keep me going until the end, but nothing was as delightfully clever as it used to be. A main plot about an evil robot wanting to destroy humans is so by-the-books, what happened to the game I love.
This is the first game to have actual writers on board, which, along with 2016's putrid stench still hanging around, leads me to believe that professional writers are hacks. Much to think about here.
The forced-in multiplayer, which obviously affected the single player's development, can't be played anymore, so, cool. Nice. It was a lot of fun back in the day though, they were kind of cooking with that one.
No grind-rails, no space fighting, no racing, only one arena, there is just so much missing here from Going Commando that while I think Up Your Arsenal is more mechanically solid than GC, I just can't agree with anyone saying it's some kind of masterpiece when I am really starting to think this series peaked with the first one and just goes downhill from there.
1998
I get a bit defensive at this becoming a meme game as one of my earliest memories is picking it out as the game I wanted at Circuit City. I lived the Gex life, spoke the Gex language, walked the Gex walk. Not only that, I didn't have a PS1 memory card for years so everytime I sat down to play Gex or Spyro it was with the intention of completing it in one sitting.
Spyro is a very lovely game so no issues there, but Gex? You go play all of Gex in one sitting and tell me you don't feel some darkness creeping into you. I am curious if Gex gave me genuine mental decline.
It's a very fucked up game, the game is notorious now for its fucking nonsensical humor that has never made sense to anyone, but I think the game's camera should be more infamous. If Earthworm Jim 3D didn't exist this would be a contender for most violent game camera, the way it whips and snaps is unpleasent and unnatural, like the guy who programmed it was working on secondhand knowledge of what the third dimension was.
Gex's controls are actually pretty tight, but his weightless jump and lame tail attack really bring into stark contrast how much more fun it is to play as Mario. Mario is weighty, requires finesse to get good with, and has a ton of moves that can segue into each other. Gex can jump and maybe even bounce if you are feeling spicy.
Which is a shame because some of these levels are creative, they look downright incredible for the hardware, with really great animations, lighting and texturing. Soul Reaver runs on the Gex engine, which is a funny enough sentence I'm injecting it here for you to deal with.
I think there is fun to be had with Gex, it's not just fucking terrible to play like aforementioned Earthworm Jim 3D, it showcases more passion and creativity than most 3D mascot platformers, it's just a shame it's so fucking annoying just SHUT UP Gex fucking ZIP IT.
Spyro is a very lovely game so no issues there, but Gex? You go play all of Gex in one sitting and tell me you don't feel some darkness creeping into you. I am curious if Gex gave me genuine mental decline.
It's a very fucked up game, the game is notorious now for its fucking nonsensical humor that has never made sense to anyone, but I think the game's camera should be more infamous. If Earthworm Jim 3D didn't exist this would be a contender for most violent game camera, the way it whips and snaps is unpleasent and unnatural, like the guy who programmed it was working on secondhand knowledge of what the third dimension was.
Gex's controls are actually pretty tight, but his weightless jump and lame tail attack really bring into stark contrast how much more fun it is to play as Mario. Mario is weighty, requires finesse to get good with, and has a ton of moves that can segue into each other. Gex can jump and maybe even bounce if you are feeling spicy.
Which is a shame because some of these levels are creative, they look downright incredible for the hardware, with really great animations, lighting and texturing. Soul Reaver runs on the Gex engine, which is a funny enough sentence I'm injecting it here for you to deal with.
I think there is fun to be had with Gex, it's not just fucking terrible to play like aforementioned Earthworm Jim 3D, it showcases more passion and creativity than most 3D mascot platformers, it's just a shame it's so fucking annoying just SHUT UP Gex fucking ZIP IT.