"Bro this game is so outdated!!! Just play Zero Mission instead and skip this!!!!!!!!!!"

why don't I skip over your bad takes how about that

shoutout to HPRshredder and his guide for getting me interested in playing Metroid 1 again as well as The Geek Critique for revisiting the game and shedding a more positive light to it. I haven't seen U Can Beat Video Games's video yet but his Castlevania II and Dragon Warrior ones were really great so this one's probably worth checking too, okay I'll actually talk about the game now

there's something about the original Metroid that has this cool...."uniqueness"? yeah I'm not sure what's the right word for it, but there's a unique feeling about this one that none of the later games quite have. now I agree that every other Metroid game I played is better than this one (every 2D one besides Metroid II GB, a decent portion of Prime 1), but I'd say that this is comparing a collection of gold trophies to a singular dusty gold trophy that could use a quick feather duster to shine again. what I'm saying is that this game's good

what's cool about the original Metroid's story is that there's nothing to precede it. none of the familiar lore of the later games is here so what we're given is in this one (which isn't much) (that's cool though) is all we really get. basically a powerful species known as "Metroids" has been captured by the Space Pirates, they're like criminals but in the space alien variety. The Federation Police sends out some bounty hunters to Planet Zebes, which is the Space Pirates hideout, to stop them from using the Metroids as a dangerous weapon however none of them were able to succeed. as a last resort they send Samus Aran, a cool cyborg dude (please don't get on my case I'll bring it up later) who gained a famous reputation for completely bounties most others thought would be impossible. naturally it would make sense for them to send the best of the best, so now Samus Aran must now traverse through Planet Zebes, explore and find the items and abilities left by it's previous civilization, defeat the two leaders of the Pirates (Ridley and Kraid), and eradicate the Metroids before they destroy the galaxy! for the first game, there's still a pretty decent amount of backstory and is still much more than a majority of games that came before it, so it's cool that there's a reason why you're there as well as an actual world you're in that isn't just a bunch of nameless disconnected levels, that's pretty nice for a game made in 1986.

Metroid is an exploration game, everyone probably knows it. what everyone always knows as well is that you're aren't just going right the entire game (cue a lengthy explanation on how a first-time player goes right until a dead end, only to go all the way back to the left and find the Morph Ball so they can go through the tiny corridor they couldn't before). your ultimate goal of the game is to defeat both Ridley and Kraid so you can access the final part of the game you encounter the Metroids as well as the final boss, however the way you go about doing so is all up to you, to the point where you can choose whether to face Ridley first or Kraid first. now you could immediately head straight for their hideouts and take them out as soon as possible, but an inexperienced player will no doubt get their ass handed to them, which makes sense since Zebes is a pretty hostile planet, so they'll probably want to stay around in Brinstar (the beginning section of Zebes) for a while and gather items to power up and prepare them for the tougher parts of the game. some of the items you can get are Missiles, which not only are a powerful offense, but can also help you open the Ketchup and Mustard Doors that can't be opened by regular shots. Energy Tanks not only increase your health by 100 but it also fully restores your health too, there's 8 of them in the game but Samus's health is maxed out after 6 of them, so it'd be a good idea to save the remaining 2 for when you need to regain some health quickly. now for actual upgrades, the Morph Ball (or Maru Mari as the cool people call it) lets Samus morph into a tiny ball to get through small passages, and the Bomb allows Samus to make bombs in this form to help defeat small enemies and get through blocks that otherwise can't be destroyed. the Long Beam makes Samus's shots long ranged which can be good for dealing enemies from far away, but it's not too important of an upgrade so you can to skip it if you want. the Ice Beam lets you freeze almost all the enemies in the game which also can turn them into temporary platforms before they thaw out which can helpful if you don't want to deal with them or if you want to do a few helpful skips, it can still be used as a regular weapon. the Wave Beam is a beam that pierces through everything and is decently powerful, however it overrides the Ice Beam which is needed if you want to defeat or get away from the Metroids in the final area so it's actually even more skippable than the Long Beam, if you plan to use this then make sure you pick up the Ice Beam again before you head to the final area. the High Jump Boots let Samus just higher, not much to say other then it helps Samus obtain the Varia Suit easier. the Varia Suit not only changes Samus's armor to a bright pink as a symbol of power, but it also halves all damage taken, making it very useful when it comes to traversing beyond Brinstar. lastly the Screw Attack, probably the best upgrade here, lets you perform a powerful shock whenever you diagonally jump, which instantly kills most regular enemies in the game, not only that but it's possible to get the item before you even face Ridley or Kraid, I cannot justify its power with what I'm saying here so you really need to get it yourself so you can understand what I mean.

once you're powered up and have defeated the two Space Pirate leaders, you can head to the upper left corner of Brinstar and gain access to the final area, Tourian, where the Metroids and final obstacle of the game is awaiting you, "Mother Brain". you better conserve your missiles for the end, and I don't mean just for Mother Brain, but to even get to her you'll have to destroy regenerating barriers that can only be damaged by barriers, they don't regenerate if you can manage to destroy them thankfully. the Mother Brain fight is weird, she doesn't attack you at all but the Rinkas (floating projectives that aim for you) and the cannons in the battlefield are very plentiful, so you'll be spending your time getting hit by those a lot thanks to your big hitbox, and whatever you do, DON'T fall in the lava in front of Metroid Brain, try to keep your distance by being on the right edge of the final pillar so you don't fall in the lava and instead land on the safe platform to the right of the pillar. after defeating Mother Brain you've now completed the ga-- SIKES YOU HAVE TO DO A SURPRISE ESCAPE SEQUENCE but it's kinda easy outside of the platforms being a bit small, the layout is also repeated a lot so it really shouldn't be a big deal once you memorized it. when you do that only then do you get the ending and here's when the fun part comes in. depending on how fast you beat the game, you might be able to discover Samus's true identity! if you manage to finish the game under five hours, Samus takes off the helmet to reveal....HE WAS A SHE THE WHOLE TIME?!?!?!?!?! yeah everyone and their mother knows Samus is a female nowadays (unless you don't so if this is how you find out then I'm terribly sorry), Nintendo themselves only kept it a secret for this game in particular, but for 1986 this was a pretty cool hidden twist, especially considering that Samus is one of the first female protagonists. yeah Ms. Pac-Man predates her by about four years, sorry Samus! if you finish the game in under three hours Samus goes down to a leotard which also lets you play as in that form after the credits (or by a password if you don't want to do all that), and under a hour has her go into a bikini. she must be the most cocky and confident bounty hunter ever if she's taking down an entire planet wearing nothing but that under her suit. if you didn't beat the game under five hours, you can always try again and see how faster you can become with more experience and knowledge of Planet Zebes. it's a pretty short game so that along with the incentive of getting to see Samus in a 8-bit bikini makes the replayability of the original Metroid pretty high.

Metroid's graphics are very simplistic, but I think this actually benefits toward the game's favor. normally having a black background for the entire game would be kinda lame, but for here it works. you're venturing inside a dark and hostile planet, if the background was blue or something then the entire atmosphere would be thrown out of the window. speaking of atmosphere, I think this is the first game in my opinion to successfully pull off a tense one. the realistic looking enemies compared to other games at the time having stuff like Goombas or Moblins makes you feel like your dealing with a much more genuine threat, though a lot of them are actually easy to face against especially once you have enough upgrades. all the dark scenery likes the faces you see next to the elevator that takes you to Ridley as well as the iconic face in the corridor just before Kraid's room makes you feel like you really don't belong here, thankfully you're playing as Samus though and no one is more capable for this job than her.

if you need something to boost the atmosphere, then the soundtrack's got you covered. the Title Theme starts off simplistic and foreboding but if you stick around long enough then it transforms to a much more hopeful melody but looping back to the menacing drones again. the Start Jingle and Brinstar continue this optimism with an upbeat and heroic tune before you end up wandering into a Secret Area that brings back the droning from the beginning of the title screen but with a more neutral and mysterious tone this time. if you're lucky and happen to come across the statues that grant you upgrades you get this Item Jingle to signal that not only did you gain a new ability but that you're on the right path to victory. though if you hear this near an elevator and choose to go down, you'll instead hear this foreboding tune of Norfair which while also signifies you're on the right part (to Ridley in particular), it also means the game's no longer messing around and you face a huge threat of getting killed if you haven't prepped up enough before. go down even further to Ridley's Hideout and get to even to hear this game's "you will die" theme. if you choose to go to Kraid's Hideout, you instead get this really rad and groovy ass theme that I can't believe was composed back in 1986. it's insane how bopping Kraid's theme is, it almost feels out of place in a way but I'm not complaining, this is the best track in the game and I will not be argued otherwise. once you face Ridley and Kraid or just venture into Tourian, you get this pretty threatening theme once you ignore the goofy bubble sounds that play during the whole thing. by the time you get to Mother Brain there are no more melodies, there are only deranged 8-bit noises to describe the terror that is Mother Brain, and by Mother Brain, I mean everything else that's inside her room. the Escape Theme starts off with a "you need to get out" vibe but after the first 30 or so seconds it insteads transforms into a "you saved the galaxy, just one more push!" vibe. then there's the Ending Theme which is a full on melody that goes from menacing to triumphant then just starts going all out after that first minute, okay this might rival Kraid's theme for the best track in the game.

so yeah Metroid NES is epic especially for its time and I feel the smaller majority that still thinks this game holds up, though it is rough in a couple of places I'll admit. lack of a map, similar looking rooms, enemies being able to hit you while you're going through doors, starting with 30 energy after a game over, the entirety of Mother Brain's room, it's a little rough to get into, especially on your first or second playthrough when you have no idea what to do. if you have the courage to come back to this game though and learn everything about it, it becomes much more enjoyable and dare I say....fun. even with Zero Mission being arguably a better Metroid 1 experience, I still can't bring myself to say this game can be easily skipped. Zero Mission may take place in Zebes, but otherwise it's a full-on remake with completely different room layouts as well as reworked bosses and gameplay elements, a very great remake I have to add, but I do have the courage to tell you that you will indeed be missing out if you don't give the original a deserved shot. despite all my praises, this is somehow still the weakest Metroid I've played but a 7/10 being the weakest goes to show the exceptional quality of the Metroid franchise, heck I might change my score to a 8/10 later down the line because that's how neat I think Metroid is.

so yeah that's it, play the game, git gud or something do people still use that phrase

childhood is saying that Mario Bros. sucks, adulthood is realizing Mario Bros. is actually great and we mostly hate it because of the inferior NES version being shoved down our throats

huge shoutouts to the Lonely Goomba for being a big contribution into me trying out the Arcade version. as well as introducing me to the existence of the Classic Series NES port of this game, go check out his video on Mario Bros. when you're done reading this review. besides that, I had originally planned to go through almost every 2D Mario in order in preparation for Wonder, starting with this game, however I backed out of it since I didn't want to risk going through Mario Burnout, but hey at least I got to try this one out.

it's a shame this is considered a black sheep of Mario since a lot of staples originated here like the coins, the pipes, the POW Block, Luigi, New York, how can you imagine Mario without those? the goal here is instead of jumping on enemies like in later games, you instead have to jump under the platform they're on and kick them into the water while they're stunned. they ease you pretty easy at first by having only Shellcreepers to deal with, but as the levels, or Phases as the game calls it goes on, they'll start adding Sidesteppers that take two hits to stun, the first making them faster, then they give you the Fighter Flies that start off real slow and can only be hit when they land on the ground, then they give out the Slipice (known as Freezie in later games) that can freeze the middle and bottom platforms if they stand on the middle of it, then they add Icicles which slowly form at the bottom of the top platforms and can defeat you if you either touch them or have them land on you, and during all that there's red and green fireballs that begin to show up more often the further you get, the red ones slowly moving diagonally through the whole area while the greens quickly zip through one of the three floors. you're probably thinking that's way too chaotic, and it is, and that's what makes it fun (and frustrating). don't worry, there's bonus games at Phase 4, 9, and every seventh one after to help you earn bonus points for lives, as well as helping to calm your nerves, but not for long. the goal there is to collect all the Coins before time runs out, and you're given 20 seconds to collect them all, enough time to easily do so once you're used to the controls, but then in the next one, all the floor is slippery and you're given 15 seconds from now on, then after that, the slippery floor turns invisible after a few seconds then it's not relaxing at all, welcome to Mario Bros. Arcade.

throughout my five or so hours put into this version, I developed some tips to make things easier such as standing on top of the POW Block during Phases that start with Sidesteppers to try and stun them when they're on the middle platform, staying on the top sometimes to not only lure the green fireballs there and safety drop down but also to make Slipices and Icicles easier to deal with, as well as stalling the first three Phases out to try and get early bonus points by defeating the red fireballs as well as chaining up Shellcreepers, ensuring I get an extra life during the third Phase. despite all my efforts, at my best I could only make my way to Phase 20 with a High Score of 166350, before I reluctantly conceded defeat and almost considered dropping the rating to 6/10. there are 23 Phases in the game before it starts looping and not being able to complete that 23rd Phase will keep me up for the rest of the life, but I was able to complete a few Phases with the Icicles so I'll happily count that as my completion for the game.

now if you want to try and have as much fun as I did, get the Arcade version. there's an Arcade Archives version of this on the Switch and it doesn't cost that much money. don't play the NES version, though considering how many times Nintendo have released that version you've probably already have, so stop playing the NES version. the sprites don't look as good, the Icicles are missing, and the difficulty has been turned down so much to the point that the game becomes boring. "But Mario's outfit in that version matches how he's normally dressed!!!" don't go using that excuse on me this was a point of history when Mario used to wear a blue cap things were different back then

this is Mario Bros. at its purest form, however if you're somehow still getting filtered despite my words of encouragement, there's an exclusive European version of the NES port that not only fixes all the sprites and bumps up the difficulty to be closer to the Arcade version, but it also adds free air movement so you're not committed to the jump, potentially reducing some stupid deaths. of course there's also the GBA remake in all the Mario Advance and Superstar Saga carts that can be considered a much better game, but I'm here to sell you on the Arcade version so at least give this one a shot first and see how far you can get.

I think I like this more than Super Mario Bros., no you are not changing my mind

they gave Klonoa a hoverboard, don't try to convince me that this game isn't epic

Klonoa 1 always had this nostalgia feeling to me even though I didn't actually play it until last night, the sequel on the other hand was pretty much unknown to me, good thing I decided to change that

compared to the first game, Klonoa 2 has a more traditional "save the kingdom" plot this time around. Klonoa's been summoned to Lunatea to retrieve the Elements from each of Lunatea's four kingdoms and is assisted by Lolo, a priestess in training that powers his Wind Ring, and Popka, some goofy dog thing that tags around and lends the two assistance. along the way, they're up against Leorina the sky pirate and Tat, who are also after the Elements so they can save the kingdoms on their own terms. like with the first game, the lighthearted tone becomes more serious as the story nears its end, though it's a little bit more toned down compared to Door of Phantomile. Klonoa in particular is a bit older and more confident this time around as he's already gone through his character development after the first game so now he's the one keeping everyone's spirits high. Klonoa 2 once again delivers a wonderful story that will probably stick with you.

the gameplay's very identical to the previous game, it's more Klonoa! pick up enemies, toss them at things, get a jumping boost with them, and you can still toss them right at the screen, they remembered the most important feature! a new additional however is the hoverboard levels which you'll have to do ever once in a while, one of which has its own boss battle. the developers knew what they were doing since the hoverboard levels are actually fun to play. you might die a few times on the later ones but they never go into full frustration mode, Mega Man X developers you better take notes. the sidescrolling levels also introduce some new enemies such as Boomies that can explode certain blocks, Likuries that absorb enemies and destroy crystal barricades, Erbils that give Klonoa a long electrified jump, and Kitons that let Klonoa fly briefly, all of these new additions bring new challenges to overcome in these puzzle solving levels. the game gets more challenging later on, sooner than the first game did, and with the much longer levels here you'll probably lose lives a bit along the way, but the game isn't afraid to give up pity lives when you start sucking a little too much so it's your choice to grab them if you choose to do so.

Klonoa 1's spritework was kino, but Klonoa 2 looks excellent as well, it's very impressive for an early PS2 game. now I'm not going to say that the Phantasy Reverie style looks bad, but it just doesn't do the original art style justice. the thick outlines are gone, everything's really bright including the darker levels, the text boxes and fonts are more simplified and generic, the remake looks too squeaky clean and has dare I say, a 3D mobile game aesthetic. something about those original PS2 visuals just hit the perfect spot, they give off the dreamlike atmosphere the series is going for much more accurately. the soundtrack is just as good as the first game, and maybe even better, I mean there's an entire music track that's just Klonoa singing gibberish. it's not even during the final boss like Sonic Adventure or Super Mario Odyssey, the song's in some random hoverboard level, it comes out of nowhere and I love it. go listen to Klonoa music if you want to have a chill time.

last time I asked for a higher difficulty and more things to do with the gameplay and Klonoa 2 delivers, another WAHOO out of 10! interestingly though, I still kinda prefer Klonoa 1 even after all that, only very slightly though as I kinda have a bias for Klonoa 1's 2.5D style and endgame. as a game Klonoa 2 is a better version of Klonoa 1 and I'd highly recommend people to play these two games. the originals, via Phantasy Reverie, it doesn't matter, just play them please. Klonoa may be a dream traveler, but don't let him disappear like a forgotten dream.

peak music btw

the first game I'm reviewing as Shelved because the final area that gives you the third ending is slop (I got filtered)
(UPDATE 11/28/2023: nvm I did that shi the day immediately after, can confirm Last Cave is actually worse lol)

I finally got this game out of my backlog after so long and yeah, the game's great. now this game is flawed, very flawed at that (fetch quests slowing the pace early in, the third ending requirements, Last Cave, etc.), but personally I think the positives outweigh the negatives and I have to say that I don't regret trying it out. if you haven't already played Cave Story then you should try it at least once the game's free you don't have much of an excuse lol.

I don't want to spoil the story much because there's some cool and important moments sprinked throughout, so as a summary, you're basically some robot dude who finds himself wandering into a village full of Mimigas, some rabbit creatures who are being pursued by this dude named The Doctor who along with his minions, Misery and Balrog, are planning to kidnap and use for his nefarious deeds, so it's up to you to put a stop to his plans as well as unravel the mysteries of the island you're on. a thing I appreciate about the game is that while there's some dark stuff that happens throughout, it's not really in your face about it like a lot of other modern games I've seen in recent years. for example, there's a point where two somewhat major characters are killed off (not spoiling who) however the game doesn't drag this moment on or make a huge deal about it, it just happens and it's up to you to decide how to feel about it rather than the game forcing you to feel how they want you to. basically what I'm saying is that Cave Story does not insist upon itself.

Cave Story's kinda like Mega Man where you play as a robot that goes around shooting enemies while obtaining different kinds of weapons to use, but at the same time it feels like its own thing with a few of its hub areas as well as a good amount of NPCs sprinkled throughout the levels to talk to. for some reason a lot of people consider Cave Story a Metroidvania, and after playing it myself I just can't agree. usually in Metroidvanias you gain new abilities that incentivize to revisit previous areas to reach sections you couldn't before, and while you do revisit an area or two, the areas here are more or less self contained and straightforward, and while you do get two major new abilities (or rather items that let you perform them), most of the collectibles are either health upgrades or key items with some new weapons every once in a while. for me Cave Story is more of a traditional platform shooter, which becomes much more evident when you see the level layout of the later areas (spikes anyone)?

Cave Story's graphics are really neat and pleasant looking, and correct me if I'm wrong here, but I believe this is the first indie game to go for a pixel art style (oh hey even the dev calls himself Pixel). though unlike a lot of later indie games that go for a nostalgic feeling or something else of the sort with its pixel art, Cave Story looks like this because that's just how it wants to look. now if we're talking about the music, well it's really good. I'm not sure if I can post some highlights since every track in this game is a highlight in some way, so instead how about I post a playlist of this game's OST instead? go listen to it and decide on your own favorites.

I don't really know how else I can give this game justice that a bunch of people online haven't already discussed about before me, so I'll instead have this next section be about specific things that I enjoyed throughout my time playing Cave Story, minor spoilers ahead if you haven't yet played this game

- you get your first weapon by stealing it from a sleeping dude, and near the end of the game you can choose to go back and be confronted by the guy
- there's a Mimiga named Kanpachi who spends his time fishing oblivious to everything around him, and by the time you meet up with him again near the end where the stakes have grown significantly, he's still only concerned about fishing
- anything about Balrog, dude is peak character design and you can even skip his first boss battle if you choose to say no to him, very epic
- there's a graveyard early on where you visit and read a tombstone to get a key and that reminded me of Dragon Quest where the first dungeon you go to has the grave of Erdrick at the end of it, I'm not sure if this was a shoutout or not but if it was then that's epic
- you can go in a house with a Mimiga inside and even sleep in their bed, once you wake up you get lipstick in your inventory, no further explanation is given
- there's a quest you can do where you help a character retrieve their lost puppies, how sweet I hope those puppies go on to have a wonderful life :^))))))
- Curly Brace who spends a majority of her screen time jobbing in some kind of capacity, though she does get some moments to shine that helps balance it out
- the Blade, yeah that's it just the Blade
- "OH THAT'S THE AREA IN THE TITLE SCREEN"
- "OH THAT'S THE MUSIC FROM THE TITLE SCREEN"
and last but not least
- realizing how overpowered missiles are to the point that they shred some bosses in a matter of seconds

so yeah that's it. apologies if this review is a little messier than usual, I just got done a five hour session of the final final area of the game before writing this and I'm understandably upset my gamer skills weren't able to get me through to the very end, but hey at least the area's optional. anyway, go check Cave Story, I already said that earlier but now I'm doing it again because this game is neat and you should check it out. if you already have, well idk do it again it's Cave Story man

Curly Jobber