108 Reviews liked by narc


great game. for clowns to play while they prepare for the circus

"sonic had a rough transition into 3D" your mom had a rough transition on deez nuts

ah yes another perfect fit for the "I wish this wasn't absolutely horrid to play so that I could better appreciate its insane stylization and interestingly bizarre ideas" shelf

Listen, its not what it looks like... Actually its exactly what it looks like. Look! I played P4G for the first time and when I finished it I felt like Id said goodbye to an old friend forever, so I got this to prolongue my P4 vibe, in the same way you keep drinking in the morning to avoid the hangover.

Whatever the music bangs and the story is kinda dumb and overwritten but this is Persona so it fits pretty well. I also generally suck at rythm games but this was easy enough to manage on normal (if not with amazing grades but frankly who gives a shit)

Soviet Soldier: "These are potatoes, Comrade Commissar! Why are we using potatoes instead of real grenades?"

Commissar Letlev: "Because real grenades are valuable! In fact, they are worth a lot more than you are!"

this is one of the hardest games ever made and it's because the developers never playtested it. that's not a joke or an exaggeration, that's actually what happened. there are numerous perfect rayman games but this isn't one of them

he stormed in like the kool aid man

This review contains spoilers

Normally I don’t write reviews because I find it increasingly difficult to word my feelings about a game properly. I can point out things that are good, things that work, yet I struggle to find what I truly love. But alas, ever since I first started playing this game this month it’s been on my mind nonstop and sitting here at 4 AM, it’s worked its way back into my brain for a while longer. These past few weeks I’ve been trying to sell everyone I know on this damn game and trying to convince them why it’s a god damn masterpiece.

And I’m about to do it all over again.

christ on a cracker what the hell is this game. Deus Ex has served as my introduction to the world of Western RPGs and good god what a tour guide. Where other games go right, Deus Ex goes back, up, and to the left. Nothing about this game is made simple, even the damn controls at the start of the game feel like their own little war. Every single aspect of this game has been meticulously crafted to be as perfect as possible and everything has a sense of purpose. For a game made nearly 23 years ago this shit STILL feels like it’s from the future.

Deus Ex puts you in the role of JC Denton, an augmented terminator man working his first shift at UNATCO, the United Nations Against Terrorism Coalition. Immediately upon booting the game you get one of the most iconic moments of any Western game ever made with Bob Page and Walton Simons discussing the current status of the world and talking about a whole bunch of things that to a new player will sound like complete nonsense. It’s almost a little comedic listening to Page talk his own ego up, he sounds incredibly one dimensional, and in a few ways he is, but his goals and his methods of reaching them is what makes him interesting. More on that later. Your first mission is to meet up with your brother Paul Denton and after attaining your weapon of choice, fight through the terrorist group of the NSF on Liberty Island and find the leader holed up in the Statue of Liberty in order to regain access to UNATCO HQ. Which leads me to the first real point of discussion;

The gameplay in this game is a tad bizarre. At first it was honestly overwhelming. The game dumps pretty much everything on you all at the start, which coupled with some janky controls and AI, can make for a weird learning barrier. Break that barrier though, and you will stumble into one of the most endlessly customizable and intuitive games ever made. Your first goal is to find the NSF Terrorist Leader and take back Liberty Island. Now, you could play the game like a dumb fucking caveman chimpanzee (me) and blow up all the guards and security bots, fly through the front doors, walk up to the leader and blow his brains out, or you could do what Deus Ex does best; experiment. Deus Ex is an immersive sim, which in case you’re unfamiliar, basically means that any problem you’re supposed to solve with a gun you can probably solve by stacking a bunch of boxes and going over it instead. Liberty Island is a pretty massive first level, and you’re rewarded for exploring it. You’ll find codes that unlock doors around the site, you can go into a shed or UNATCO’s bunker to get some extra goodies, you can even head to the docks and meet up with some double agents that’ll give you the means to get into the Statue of Liberty by either going in front or back. You’re also given the option of taking down enemies passively or lethally. It’s not just you getting from point a to point b however you like, how you get there affects the story and affects the game. It’s incredible. For instance, if you kill Anna Navarre in Lebedev’s plane, she doesn’t show up for the rest of the game despite having major roles and boss fights and Gunter Hermann will become increasingly suspicious of you for killing her. The game even accounts for you killing NPCs in dialogue options. Finishing Liberty Island also gives the player some insight into one of the most haunting things I’ve ever experienced in media.

Deus Ex is a weird game. It’s weird in that 23 years ago, it was a fictitious world with insane ideas and crazy politics. But what’s so strange and haunting about that… is that today it feels less and less fictitious than it ever has. I mentioned previously that you don’t have to kill the NSF Leader like a chimp person, you can spare him and talk with him, and if you do, you get one of the most iconic and haunting conversations ever held in a game. After that conversation, something becomes clear; there is nobody in this world you can trust to take at face value, and there is nobody in this world you can trust to be your friend. Deus Ex is a world that is being destroyed by a man made plague called the Black Death, one that was not initially meant to be harmful but was later altered to attack those with nano augmentations, and is now attacking people even if they lack said augmentations and is killing them indiscriminately. It’s a world populated by the hopelessly rich, the elite who keep the rich in their pocket, the puppeteers who work from the shadows, terrorists and criminals trying to keep themselves alive, drug traders and party goers, and the homeless and soldiers who walk the city streets at night. There is no middle class working man, there’s only the rich and famous, and the poverty stricken flocks of urban citizens. People have begun to make homes underground, creating factions in those underground homes and having wars with each others, entire new cultures have been born from this migration to abandoned train stations and sewers. Yet all the same, we’re working for a coalition that seems to be in touch with some of these richer folks, and we can’t relate to these people even if we wanted to. Things get even weirder when it’s revealed that UNATCO isn’t just kept in the pocket of these rich people, but is also a massive front for said rich people’s secret terrorist organization; Majestic 12.

Majestic 12 is terrifying. Getting captured in New York and fighting your way through the hellish MJ12 Prison Facility only to open the blast doors and realize you were in UNATCO the whole time is something I do not think I will ever be able to describe properly. Not to mention that after you leave the facility you exit to Hong Kong with only 24 hours left to live and are fighting the clock to uncover their secrets and keep yourself alive. Majestic 12 is a group that is manufacturing the virus and infecting people, while also manufacturing the vaccine and distributing it only to the wealthy to make money and push their agendas. It’s insidious and yet it’s both smart and mirrors our reality so effortless. This is what Bob Page’s reality is. It is a reality where everyone is kept in his pocket and he gets to have his way with reality. Even Walton Simons seems to be at his mercy. The Majestic 12 operate everywhere, and in Paris, have gained so much control that they operate in the open and are seen as a cult that forces young children to join at risk of being killed otherwise. They also perform human experimentations and create this horrible chimera monsters that populate some areas of the world. It is shocking how much of this game cane true in the years that have passed. It predicted 9/11, it predicted COVID, it was well aware of how much of a scam all these corporations and government facilitations were. Deus Ex was so far ahead of the curve that it makes every other game I’ve played nearly seem childish in comparison. It is haunting how much of this game panned out. Deus Ex is a story that talks about conspiracy, that talks about humans replacing gods for AI, that talks about our inherent need to feel governed and controlled. God was a dream of good government, and now we can fulfill that same dream with machines and computers. We can literally become the god of the machine, the deus ex machina.

One thing I’ve gone without mentioning somehow, is how everything comes together in this game. What I mean is, as I’ve explained the story it’s easy to gather that this game is oppressive and cruel. It’s so endlessly hopeless and yet it constantly combines the familiar and mundane with cyberpunk horror and fantasy and that makes it feel weird and interesting yet so close to home. There is no feeling quite like walking the streets of New York City, completely abandoned and empty thanks to the pandemic, as that ambient synthwave music kicks in, and it’s magic. The imagery in this game is stunning. The Statue of Liberty’s head has been blown off, Hong Kong is lit up by neon signs and advertising and is accompanied by one of the best songs in all of gaming to emphasize how lively it is, and Paris… oh dear god Paris. Walking the completely empty and dead streets seeing MJ12 units and security bots patrol the streets so openly as bakeries and offices have been shut down and booby trapped for robbers just screams nothing short of a world that is completely fucked. This all goes without mentioning moments like the DuClare Chateau, a moment where you get to take a break from all the fighting and stealth and explore the mansion of a former Illuminati while her daughter tells you stories of her childhood and growing up in this massive house, all while arguably the best song in the game plays. It’s such an incredible piece of world building.

I love this game. I don’t even have the words to describe how much I love this game. I went into this game expecting to really like it and what I came out with was a strong contender for one of my favorite games ever made, let alone media. Nothing I say will ever describe this game as well as simply walking the desolate streets of its desolate and destroyed cities. Deus Ex is a masterpiece. It is a one of a kind experience that comes once in a lifetime and anyone who’s fortunate enough to meet it on its own terms and really let it have its way with them will find themselves walking out of it feeling like they’ve been completely and totally transformed. I don’t even have the right words. There is so much to say and yet after all I’ve already said I think it best to just say; I love this fucking game.

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oh also “why contain it?……… s’cool”

Does for Twin Peaks fans what Jaws did for sharks

this is both the best and the worst videogame of all times, constantly alternating itself into a newton's cradle, always in movement, stopping only when you turn off the game -- either because your controller doesnt have charge and is too late -- but you want to play more -- or because you just can't bare this any longer.

i could elaborate about how i think that tails' levels are way too long or how knuckles' levels can be very bad like pumpkin hill and how dark mode in general is way better. however, this game shows such peaks of geniality and has such enganging story that, even being, uh, modern sonic narrative, is very cool!

you see, i've been watching boku no hero these days and i have a LOT of problems with it. however, at the end of the day, still is a show where i like the characters enough to just watch, even if some arcs are really bad. we can like things that we found a lot of problems. videogames are relantioships and no one is perfect in a relationship. sonic adventure 2 is a problematic one but, in my heart, i still love him.

live and learn!
hanging on the edge of tomorrow,
live and learn!
from the works of yesterday.
live and learn!
if you beg or if you borrow,
live and learn!
you may never find your way.

the reviews that quickly throw out "it's dated" without saying much else are pretty disappointing, because all the guff that plagues the proceeding games in the series shows just how perfect this one is.

not a moment is wasted in GTA 3. you have a city that's actually fun to explore and drive around in, the missions are truly open ended and challenging, and there's none of that Rockstar Games-brand mediocre prestige TV wannabe writing to bog down the experience. the story is only a vehicle for you to take on more bonkers vehicle challenges peppered with occasional gunfights, while current GTAs seemingly focus on the opposite. the atmosphere is top notch; there really is nothing else that compares with blazing through Liberty at night while listening to a classic Moving Shadow drum 'n bass set.

it's a classic game with a perfect formula that only got more and more muddled as the series went on. I don't understand why this gets overlooked so frequently these days, especially when its more popular follow up Vice City is far less exciting (unless grinding asset missions while circling around two flat islands really gets your rocks off).

From Claude's scrunched up face to his black jacket and weird green pants and the water that churns the colour of concrete, there is a heaviness to Grand Theft Auto III that more serious entries (IV) never matched. But there's also a brutal clarity to the space, where we are always able to see objects in relation to one another, and where collisions seem active instead of incidental. It's just a genuinely explosive game, from the way it looks to the way it controls. I heard someone say it's the purest of the series, and it's also one of the purest games. Where it lacks in atmospheric effects its distinctive grime textures carry the weight of the whole city, and if that's not enough there's the radio permanently tuned to the haunted vibrations of Scientist Rids the World of the Evil Curse of the Vampires.

out of all the gta games, this is the one i keep coming back to. liberty city does a damn well job of making you feel that it'd be hell to live in, and the purist gameplay reminiscent of the previous two entries (even including a top-down camera) reflects this. sure, some missions may be annoying such as espresso-2-go and big'n'veiny, but it does what it sets out to do, that being a love letter to classic gangster and revenge flicks of old.

A game Ryan Reynolds fans will love
Seems only fitting to have a game like this glitch out in the final scene. There are some good qualities here, but the unapologetic nature of this game seems to not be enough to excuse buggy gameplay and a tedious way to finish all missions. I got this game for free with my graphics card, no way I would pay full price for it.
Saints Row was one of my favorite franchises growing up. Saints Row 2 still being one of my favorite games and 3 as a worthy successor. It's sad to see it in the state it is right now, unworthy of calling itself a GTA contender. I doubt the Saints Row franchise will return to its former glory and that truly breaks my heart. It's too scared to take itselfs seriously and relies way to much on being "funny" and "memeable" while also failing tremendously at those goals. If you truly liked the movie Free Guy, you will probably love this game