I feel like the only person on earth who was not completely thrilled with this game. Which I guess is a shame, because good lord, does everyone else love it to death, so I feel like I'm missing something.

I really did try, though. I got 56 hours in before I couldn't do it anymore. For a good while, it was fun - maybe about 30 of those hours? And then it got completely and utterly overwhelming, to the point of stress. It was actively exhausting to play, I felt tired thinking about it and after putting it down.

The fact that effectively every single choice you make has a consequence is a marvel, certainly. It is extremely impressive, and I will never argue this. It is also utterly stressful. I suppose this is just the way my brain works being incompatible with the game, but every single choice I made having a web of consequences and relations to every single other choice I made gave me a headache. I didn't feel secure in any of the choices I was making or actions I was taking, because I had no way of knowing what they would affect down the line - at least not without doing extensive google/wiki searches, and sometimes not even then. (And stopping constantly to do this is utterly unfun to me.) I might think one choice would lead to [x] outcome, but I would be wrong, simple as or by misunderstanding the meaning - or I'd fail a die roll and get the opposite - or it'd have some other effect later that meant someone died or I lost my chance at a chunk of content - or, or, or.

And of course, the obvious solution to this is just to stop worrying, and choose what comes naturally without worrying about the consequences. But with a game as completely and utterly massive as this, that doesn't really feel like a choice I have?

Like, I really, really do not want to make a choice, and then discover 15 hours down the line that it had [y] dreadful consequence that could've been avoided if I'd just done something else and just have to live with that frustration. Because at that point, it is completely impossible to redo that choice or take a different course of action - because that was 15 hours ago. I simply do not have the time or energy to revisit this game over and over when it is so, so long - not to mention how because of the sheer size and length of content (plus the element of random chance), it is not easy (if even possible) to get through things quickly in order to do so.

It's not my actions having consequences that I dislike; it's not that I want to have the "perfect" playthrough and do everything right and in one go-- it's the fact that it feels impossible to fully comprehend what those consequences will be at any given point, or to do anything about them if they were unintended and undesired. I can't accomplish what I want to accomplish, because the road to get there feels convoluted and stressful. If I have [z] thing I want to do, then I have to be extremely particular about how I do so, and to not screw up my choices anywhere along the line, because if I do then the entire thing up to that point is screwed and I have to reload 5 hours back to try again. This is just not fun to me.

Am I playing the game wrong? I don't know, probably. Is this an issue with my personality and not the game? Probably, considering everybody else adores this and just does 10 different playthroughs instead of getting a migraine. Whatever it is, I found myself dreading opening the game back up more and more each time I played it, and eventually shelved it, because I play games to have fun.

Also, spoilers:

I also didn't feel much motivation to come back to it for similar reasons that a reviewer here had: as early as Act 1, I'm told it's literally impossible to get the worm out of our brains - which is the main progress motivator and the entire central plot. (At least as far as I got.) So then... what? Why am I bothering pursuing any of these quests I'm being told to try when I already know the outcome of all of them is going to be "Well, I guess that didn't work either, let's try the next thing!" It started to feel like, "I'm putting myself through all this stress for... what? Why am I even playing this anymore?"

I guess it doesn't help that of all the main cast, only Karlach really interested me - and Wyll, but, well, we all know how that goes. Because I think the answer to that question is supposed to be "for the characters," but I just did not care enough about them to justify this. I think the game had a lot less in it for me due to the fact I do not want to fuck Astarion. Oh well.

Playing this after already finishing the sequel is probably the worst thing I could've done for my experience playing this, as it made it impossible not to notice the countless things that were vastly improved upon and by extension their weaknesses here - but at least it made me appreciate Second Light more.

That being said, for all its many flaws, I think this game has the most incredible-feeling boss battles of anything I've ever played. Jesus christ. I hadn't felt like this since Koloktos in Skyward Sword a decade ago.