thealexmott
BACKER
Played this because I saw a post on Reddit describing FireRed Omega as the OP's favorite game of all time, and uhhhh I don't get it!
See, I have a weird relationship with Romhacks. On the one hand, this feels like an improvement on FireRed in a lot of ways, and it's great to have a much wider variety of Pokémon in Kanto. On the other, something about the fan-tweaked nature of the game feels hollow and inauthentic. It was cool having a Tyranitar before my 5th badge, but does it really change the game in meaningful enough ways that I'd prefer it over the original? It makes it possible to collect the whole National Dex in one playthrough without trades, but for whatever reason, the artificiality of this release prevents me from caring.
It feels like it changed too little to be worthy of praise. Pokémon Romhacks are better when they introduce recent generations of Pokemon which didn't exist at the time of the original release, or make their own new region from scratch. This was a fine time-waster on my phone, and ultimately still a solid Pokémon game, but I wouldn't go out of my way to recommend it to anyone.
See, I have a weird relationship with Romhacks. On the one hand, this feels like an improvement on FireRed in a lot of ways, and it's great to have a much wider variety of Pokémon in Kanto. On the other, something about the fan-tweaked nature of the game feels hollow and inauthentic. It was cool having a Tyranitar before my 5th badge, but does it really change the game in meaningful enough ways that I'd prefer it over the original? It makes it possible to collect the whole National Dex in one playthrough without trades, but for whatever reason, the artificiality of this release prevents me from caring.
It feels like it changed too little to be worthy of praise. Pokémon Romhacks are better when they introduce recent generations of Pokemon which didn't exist at the time of the original release, or make their own new region from scratch. This was a fine time-waster on my phone, and ultimately still a solid Pokémon game, but I wouldn't go out of my way to recommend it to anyone.
Charming, but frustrating. As you would expect from this kind of text adventure, it's all trial and error. But since there are 16 endings to find, that means starting from scratch over and over again if you want to 100% the game. I got to toss fryer oil on a vampire and set him on fire though, so that was rad.
An absolute graphical marvel for the hardware! Right off the bat, the character scaling as Carnby moves from the background to the foreground is legitimately stunning, I've never seen anything like this on GBC before. It even plays semi-competently as an adventure game, but a lack of a scrolling camera quickly becomes an issue. The edge of each screen is hyper-sensitive, any touch in the general area will take you to the next screen. In classic survival-horror fashion, each bit of a room or hallway is viewed at a different angle, so keeping your bearings can be frustrating, and getting a sense of the space you're in is often difficult. Also, combat is done with random encounters for some reason?? My guess is they didn't have the storage space for size-scaling sprites for enemy characters, so instead of having them move across the more impressive pre-rendered backgrounds, you enter a JRPG-esque battle arena when it's fightin' time.
I wholeheartedly recommend that everyone with NSO play this for a bit, there's a good chance you've never played anything quite like it! It's a bit too obtuse to recommend finishing, I tapped out after about an hour of screwing around and getting lost, but I had a good enough time with it. More weird stuff like this on NSO please!!
I wholeheartedly recommend that everyone with NSO play this for a bit, there's a good chance you've never played anything quite like it! It's a bit too obtuse to recommend finishing, I tapped out after about an hour of screwing around and getting lost, but I had a good enough time with it. More weird stuff like this on NSO please!!
I've loved Metroid Prime since it first blew my mind on my cousin's TV in 2002. It has always been an incredible exploration-focused game, and the shadow drop during this February's Direct was HYPE. I had been holding off on revisiting Prime ever since those Metroid Prime Trilogy rumors started in like 2020, so I was beyond ready for this release.
After having considered this a masterpiece for a couple decades, I'm happy to say that it mostly holds up! What's even better is that every change in this remaster is for the better; Gyro is a huge improvement, alternate control schemes all work well, and the re-done textures make this one of the most beautiful games on the Switch.
I didn't want to score/review it right after finishing (I beat the game a week and a half ago) because I wanted to sit with it for a bit. It's still a killer game, but I don't think it quite sits amongst my all-time favorites anymore. The ending really did drag a bit more than I realized. I'd heard people complain about the backtracking in Prime for 20 years, but it never really bothered me until now. Going back and forth for Artifacts and the last few Missile Expansions really kills the momentum right before the finale, and ultimately holds this back from a perfect score. I'd compare it to the Triforce quest at the end of Wind Waker, but I actually kind of like that. Anyhow, there was no way I wasn't going to 100% this game, just like I do with every Metroid title (except the first one), it's just a shame that going back through the world for all the last items wasn't as enjoyable as the other Metroid games. I'd largely say that it's because elevators between regions felt more remote than in other games. I've never actually finished Echoes or Corruption, so I'm hoping that's handled a bit better in the sequels. (How long do I wait to see if they're getting Switch ports before I just play them on my Wii U??)
Anyhow, none of that stops Metroid Prime from being an incredible game. It may not completely stack up against my teenage memories, but it still cannot be overstated how incredible the atmosphere of Metroid Prime is. What a rad world to get lost in. Phenomenal game.
After having considered this a masterpiece for a couple decades, I'm happy to say that it mostly holds up! What's even better is that every change in this remaster is for the better; Gyro is a huge improvement, alternate control schemes all work well, and the re-done textures make this one of the most beautiful games on the Switch.
I didn't want to score/review it right after finishing (I beat the game a week and a half ago) because I wanted to sit with it for a bit. It's still a killer game, but I don't think it quite sits amongst my all-time favorites anymore. The ending really did drag a bit more than I realized. I'd heard people complain about the backtracking in Prime for 20 years, but it never really bothered me until now. Going back and forth for Artifacts and the last few Missile Expansions really kills the momentum right before the finale, and ultimately holds this back from a perfect score. I'd compare it to the Triforce quest at the end of Wind Waker, but I actually kind of like that. Anyhow, there was no way I wasn't going to 100% this game, just like I do with every Metroid title (except the first one), it's just a shame that going back through the world for all the last items wasn't as enjoyable as the other Metroid games. I'd largely say that it's because elevators between regions felt more remote than in other games. I've never actually finished Echoes or Corruption, so I'm hoping that's handled a bit better in the sequels. (How long do I wait to see if they're getting Switch ports before I just play them on my Wii U??)
Anyhow, none of that stops Metroid Prime from being an incredible game. It may not completely stack up against my teenage memories, but it still cannot be overstated how incredible the atmosphere of Metroid Prime is. What a rad world to get lost in. Phenomenal game.
1991
This game rules in the goofiest way possible. Solid Ninja Gaiden gameplay plus guns and grenades, rad top-down driving sections, and far-too-brief first-person shooting gallery segments all come together to make this one of the coolest action games on NES. What's even better is that it's not absurdly difficult like most of its peers! I'm fully aware that the story was written by Japanese devs who spoke English as a second language, but the writing is so hilariously bad it felt like the text in the terrible RPG Maker 2003 games my friends and I made 20 years ago. I loved it!
It's ultimately still an NES action game, so YMMV depending on how you feel about the genre. The driving and lightgun-esque parts really make it special, but they're way too rare. If Vice: Project Doom had leaned into those aspects more, it'd be an easy 4 stars.
It's ultimately still an NES action game, so YMMV depending on how you feel about the genre. The driving and lightgun-esque parts really make it special, but they're way too rare. If Vice: Project Doom had leaned into those aspects more, it'd be an easy 4 stars.
My only prior experience with Mario Land 2 was seeing my cousin play it briefly in like 2002. I remembered that the overworld seemed cool, but that was it.
And I remembered that aspect for good reason! The charm is off the scale here. This is arguably the greatest overworld of any Mario game, the theming of the levels is delightful and incredibly varied. Can you believe that all we get in most 2D Mario games is stuff like "Desert Area" or "Forest again"??? In '92 on the GAME BOY OF ALL PLACES, Mario had a Halloween land, a giant Mario robot, and a level made of Lego bricks. WHERE DID THIS AMAZING CREATIVITY GO?!? There are even enemies that I've never seen in another Mario game; "Owl with Guile's haircut who gives you a ride" is my new favorite Mario character.
Of course, it's still a platformer on the Game Boy, so the gameplay itself is still nothing mind-blowing, but it is better than most other Game Boy titles. Just wish we could get this level of imagination in a new Mario game!
And I remembered that aspect for good reason! The charm is off the scale here. This is arguably the greatest overworld of any Mario game, the theming of the levels is delightful and incredibly varied. Can you believe that all we get in most 2D Mario games is stuff like "Desert Area" or "Forest again"??? In '92 on the GAME BOY OF ALL PLACES, Mario had a Halloween land, a giant Mario robot, and a level made of Lego bricks. WHERE DID THIS AMAZING CREATIVITY GO?!? There are even enemies that I've never seen in another Mario game; "Owl with Guile's haircut who gives you a ride" is my new favorite Mario character.
Of course, it's still a platformer on the Game Boy, so the gameplay itself is still nothing mind-blowing, but it is better than most other Game Boy titles. Just wish we could get this level of imagination in a new Mario game!
2023
BUTTS turned on the PC.
...But there's no POKéMON games on here, so what's the point?
...
I first played Pokémon Blue Version in 1998, when I was 8 years old.
I briefly used a friend's Game Boy at his house to explore a new save file while promising not to save over his progress.
It was absolutely blissful.
It felt like such a massive adventure, and for the half hour I played, I wanted a Game Boy of my own more than I had wanted anything in my entire life.
...
I played this game in 2023 at age 32.
I used my work-issued Macbook while riding the train, returning home from my office job that I've spent the past two years actively trying to replace with something less dead-end and soul-sucking.
It was simultaneously heartwarming and brutal.
It felt like such a sad, honest, world-weary joke, and for the half hour I played, what I most wanted was to make sure my own children have adventures that they'll treasure before the realities of life and adulthood break them down.
...
I'm extremely grateful for the way Pokémon made me feel as a kid. I'm grateful I got to play Violet while my whole family was sick this past November. Heck, I'm grateful for the 30 minutes I spent exhausting every line of dialogue in this little itch.io game. Over the past few years, I've realized that I have no interest in complaining about lack of polish or detail in games. I just want to chase that feeling of adventure once in a while. And if Pokémon Day (week after next) announces old games coming to NSO?
I'll be there with a smile on my face, like always.
...But there's no POKéMON games on here, so what's the point?
...
I first played Pokémon Blue Version in 1998, when I was 8 years old.
I briefly used a friend's Game Boy at his house to explore a new save file while promising not to save over his progress.
It was absolutely blissful.
It felt like such a massive adventure, and for the half hour I played, I wanted a Game Boy of my own more than I had wanted anything in my entire life.
...
I played this game in 2023 at age 32.
I used my work-issued Macbook while riding the train, returning home from my office job that I've spent the past two years actively trying to replace with something less dead-end and soul-sucking.
It was simultaneously heartwarming and brutal.
It felt like such a sad, honest, world-weary joke, and for the half hour I played, what I most wanted was to make sure my own children have adventures that they'll treasure before the realities of life and adulthood break them down.
...
I'm extremely grateful for the way Pokémon made me feel as a kid. I'm grateful I got to play Violet while my whole family was sick this past November. Heck, I'm grateful for the 30 minutes I spent exhausting every line of dialogue in this little itch.io game. Over the past few years, I've realized that I have no interest in complaining about lack of polish or detail in games. I just want to chase that feeling of adventure once in a while. And if Pokémon Day (week after next) announces old games coming to NSO?
I'll be there with a smile on my face, like always.
In It Might Get Loud, Jack White explains his approach to choosing instruments. He says he prefers "guitars that are a little bit bent and out of tune. I want to battle it, I want it to be a struggle." That sounds rad when you're talking about Rock music. But it's probably not what I should be thinking about the whole time I'm playing a kart racer.
When I first played Super Circuit on my Ambassador 3DS in 2012, I thought "Wow! This is dumb and bad!" and I quit pretty quickly. But now that it's available on Switch, I decided that I was going to actually finish it this time so I could have a more informed opinion. It turns out that my previous impression was only mostly right.
I don't think it's controversial to say that this is the worst Mario Kart game. The tracks are fine while staying completely flat/level, and the game looks pretty good for the GBA, but a racing game lives or dies by its controls. I tried a handful of characters and eventually did get the hang of Wario at 150cc (enough to get gold on all 5 cups, though not enough to get 1st place every single race), but it felt like I was fighting against my kart the entire time. Every track feels like it's iced over, causing constant slipping and sliding. I'm sure there's a technique to be learned here, but I just ended up braking a LOT to counter the lack of traction. Like, more than I ever have while playing MK8 on 200cc.
When every other Mario Kart is approachable and intuitive, this sticks out as the worst of the bunch. Not as awful as I initially thought, but I'd be lying if I called it "fun".
When I first played Super Circuit on my Ambassador 3DS in 2012, I thought "Wow! This is dumb and bad!" and I quit pretty quickly. But now that it's available on Switch, I decided that I was going to actually finish it this time so I could have a more informed opinion. It turns out that my previous impression was only mostly right.
I don't think it's controversial to say that this is the worst Mario Kart game. The tracks are fine while staying completely flat/level, and the game looks pretty good for the GBA, but a racing game lives or dies by its controls. I tried a handful of characters and eventually did get the hang of Wario at 150cc (enough to get gold on all 5 cups, though not enough to get 1st place every single race), but it felt like I was fighting against my kart the entire time. Every track feels like it's iced over, causing constant slipping and sliding. I'm sure there's a technique to be learned here, but I just ended up braking a LOT to counter the lack of traction. Like, more than I ever have while playing MK8 on 200cc.
When every other Mario Kart is approachable and intuitive, this sticks out as the worst of the bunch. Not as awful as I initially thought, but I'd be lying if I called it "fun".
What a lovely little puzzle game! I thought this would be a Puyo knockoff or a Match-3, but it's actually unique! You score points by removing stars from the board, which is done by sandwiching them between matching animal tiles. I had a great time! Cleared all 100 "Round Clear" challenges and then the brief story mode. No Japanese reading is required other than knowing that mode #1 is Endless, #2 is "Round Clear", and #3 is the story mode. Definitely worth downloading the Japanese NSO app for this!
1989
Playing the Game Boy version of Tetris for the first time really shows what an iterative process this game has had. People will often say that Tetris is a perfect puzzle game, but I don't think it actually started out that way. For Tetris to be considered great, it needs great controls. The Game Boy version is pretty rough in that regard, with pieces often feeling like they got caught or stuck in a way that simply does not happen in any of the more recent titles. The NES version holds up better than this. Still a fun enough time that I cracked a 6-figure score (ended on level 11 I think), but with so many versions of Tetris out there, this isn't the one that anyone should put their time into.
1984
A guy named Wang defeated me by kicking me in mine. Pure poetry.
Joy Mech Fight feels even more impressive in comparison. It's pretty wild to see how far NES games progressed throughout its lifespan, a lot of the early stuff was GARBO. Yet this game does have a certain charm to it, with each of the opponents having a unique caricature-like identity. Sort of like a proto-Punch-Out!! except all the racial stereotypes are exclusively Chinese!
Joy Mech Fight feels even more impressive in comparison. It's pretty wild to see how far NES games progressed throughout its lifespan, a lot of the early stuff was GARBO. Yet this game does have a certain charm to it, with each of the opponents having a unique caricature-like identity. Sort of like a proto-Punch-Out!! except all the racial stereotypes are exclusively Chinese!
1985
Literally large-scale Pac-Man with cars. (You can even pick up items that let you eat other vehicles) It's honestly a pretty fun concept, but it gets old fast.
1987
The graphics are delightful and the controls have a LOT more complexity to them than most NES games, but it's really just the same thing over and over. Maybe there was a competitive scene in Japan for this game, but against the CPU, it gets boring pretty quickly.
1993
It's wild to think about an NES game coming out 2 years after the SNES, but this is a pretty impressive 8-bit fighter! The story mode is a cute little idea too.
Fire guy OP.
Fire guy OP.
2023
(Had originally posted this on the regular GoldenEye page, but then the Xbox version got its own entry)
Cleared the whole game on 00 Agent and unlocked all the cheats, something I'd never done before! It was great to finally do this two and a half decades after having played GoldenEye for the first time, and some of these levels really gave me a run for my money!
- Facility on 00 Agent in under 2:05: This is to unlock the Invincible Bond cheat. I barely scraped by after about an hour and a half of trying, only to realize that you can do the move+strafe speed doubling on Xbox if you change your D-pad to "Move + Strafe". WHOOPS THAT WOULD HAVE MADE IT EASIER
- Archives on 00 Agent in under 1:20: This is one where you have to absolutely nail the optimal route. Is this what speedrunning feels like??
- Control on Secret Agent in under 10:00 and again on 00 Agent: This legitimately took me over 3 hours of play time to beat these twice. The speed isn't a concern, if you manage to survive and don't screw around, you'll definitely make it in under 10 minutes. What really surprised me is that the issue wasn't Natalya dying. In fact, she only died once! Blowing up the downstairs mainframes right away will open up holes in the bulletproof glass panes that funnel the enemies to a smaller general area than if they break through themselves. The problem was just staying alive long enough for Natalya do get all the computer work done (accomplished this 80% of the time) and then making it to the elevator without keeling over. The saddest moment of this playthrough was making it to the last section with plenty of health, but accidentally throwing the last remote mine on the ceiling juuuuust far enough away from the mainframe behind the last door, softlocking the level. I killed every guy in the whole place, no one had a grenade or anything I could use! GAH
- Caverns on 00 Agent: I didn't realize how much of an ammo decrease there was on 00 Agent until this playthrough. If an enemy drops 30 rounds on Agent, they'll only drop 10 on 00 Agent. Caverns was the level where I really had to nail headshots and conserve ammo, because I kept running out and then encountering a large group of enemies. Definitely use the timed mines on ammo crates when you see them!!
- Aztec: I had never played the two secret levels before! It was wild going into Aztec and Egyptian, not knowing a thing about what I needed to do. Egyptian ended up being a pushover (if you look up the pattern of tiles to walk on in the Golden Gun room), but Aztec kicked my butt for a couple hours. What was incredibly satisfying was that it wasn't luck-dependent like the waves of enemies in Control, I got legitimately better with each run, ultimately beating the level on 00 Agent with health to spare. Quite possibly my favorite level in the game now!
But OH NO! It turns out the only two achievements I'm missing (complete story on Agent and Secret Agent) require you to not just get a checkmark on those missions, you have to beat each level on each difficulty. That's 3 different playthroughs. Guess I'll be logging this two more times this week! I CAN'T GET ENOUGH GOLDENEYE BABY
EDIT: Instead of a fourth review of GoldenEye, I'm gonna do a P.S. here. It turns out that if you've beaten everything on 00 Agent and gotten all the difficulties checked off, you can complete the Agent and Secret Agent achievements with cheats on! I turned on all weapons for the Agent playthrough, but the most enjoyable experience I had with this rerelease was turning on RC-P90s and Paintball Mode and blasting through the Secret Agent difficulty. What a delightful victory lap!
Cleared the whole game on 00 Agent and unlocked all the cheats, something I'd never done before! It was great to finally do this two and a half decades after having played GoldenEye for the first time, and some of these levels really gave me a run for my money!
- Facility on 00 Agent in under 2:05: This is to unlock the Invincible Bond cheat. I barely scraped by after about an hour and a half of trying, only to realize that you can do the move+strafe speed doubling on Xbox if you change your D-pad to "Move + Strafe". WHOOPS THAT WOULD HAVE MADE IT EASIER
- Archives on 00 Agent in under 1:20: This is one where you have to absolutely nail the optimal route. Is this what speedrunning feels like??
- Control on Secret Agent in under 10:00 and again on 00 Agent: This legitimately took me over 3 hours of play time to beat these twice. The speed isn't a concern, if you manage to survive and don't screw around, you'll definitely make it in under 10 minutes. What really surprised me is that the issue wasn't Natalya dying. In fact, she only died once! Blowing up the downstairs mainframes right away will open up holes in the bulletproof glass panes that funnel the enemies to a smaller general area than if they break through themselves. The problem was just staying alive long enough for Natalya do get all the computer work done (accomplished this 80% of the time) and then making it to the elevator without keeling over. The saddest moment of this playthrough was making it to the last section with plenty of health, but accidentally throwing the last remote mine on the ceiling juuuuust far enough away from the mainframe behind the last door, softlocking the level. I killed every guy in the whole place, no one had a grenade or anything I could use! GAH
- Caverns on 00 Agent: I didn't realize how much of an ammo decrease there was on 00 Agent until this playthrough. If an enemy drops 30 rounds on Agent, they'll only drop 10 on 00 Agent. Caverns was the level where I really had to nail headshots and conserve ammo, because I kept running out and then encountering a large group of enemies. Definitely use the timed mines on ammo crates when you see them!!
- Aztec: I had never played the two secret levels before! It was wild going into Aztec and Egyptian, not knowing a thing about what I needed to do. Egyptian ended up being a pushover (if you look up the pattern of tiles to walk on in the Golden Gun room), but Aztec kicked my butt for a couple hours. What was incredibly satisfying was that it wasn't luck-dependent like the waves of enemies in Control, I got legitimately better with each run, ultimately beating the level on 00 Agent with health to spare. Quite possibly my favorite level in the game now!
But OH NO! It turns out the only two achievements I'm missing (complete story on Agent and Secret Agent) require you to not just get a checkmark on those missions, you have to beat each level on each difficulty. That's 3 different playthroughs. Guess I'll be logging this two more times this week! I CAN'T GET ENOUGH GOLDENEYE BABY
EDIT: Instead of a fourth review of GoldenEye, I'm gonna do a P.S. here. It turns out that if you've beaten everything on 00 Agent and gotten all the difficulties checked off, you can complete the Agent and Secret Agent achievements with cheats on! I turned on all weapons for the Agent playthrough, but the most enjoyable experience I had with this rerelease was turning on RC-P90s and Paintball Mode and blasting through the Secret Agent difficulty. What a delightful victory lap!