I wish I could stay in this world more

A fucking phantasmagorical experience that I would recommend to almost nobody. I love it.

Once you get into the add-on content, results are a little more mixed, but the base game is still basically the coolest thing I've ever played

After 6 hours, I think I have to admit that I'm never gonna beat this, but the sheer V I B E S went a long way towards getting me to keep trying.

Y'know, the Butthole Surfers are one of my favorite bands, and I've been listening to them a lot recently. It was nice to play a game that so perfectly melded with their brand of aggressive psychedelia

Campaign is surprisingly solid, all the ships are pretty fun, just wish the multiplayer had more to it

You'll be into this if you ever looked at a DOOM game and thought it was missing trash mobs.

What a fucking CRUSHING disappointment.

2016

THE BEST RHYTHM GAME I'VE EVER PLAYED

It fucking rules, whad'dya want me to say? You play an absolute BRICK SHITHOUSE and he's got a chainsaw on his gun!

This is the video game equivalent of getting extremely baked, blasting some sludge metal, and letting yourself drown in the sound

Sometimes, art doesn't need to do more than brutalize you

This review contains spoilers

Docking half a point for never actually getting to pilot the skyscraper sized mech

This was a really solid foundation and I wish Relic had gotten the opportunity to expand on it because, dude, most everything about this feels perfect. You really do be fucking up those Orks, huh?

literally just giving this five stars because Theme of Solid Snake KICKS ASS

A post-modern nightmare of repulsive and brutal hyper-masculinity, set in a world crumbling before the player's very eyes in a mess of dead pixels and digital artefacting. The final day of planet Video-Games; a foundation of bodies, bullets and blood, finally buckling under the weight of entropy. There's no resolution here, no hope, not even a clear motive at the end, just self-immolation and the unquenchable fucking death-drive.

Ultimately, a damn sight closer to high art than most games could even dream of

2022

The initial high of figuring out the combat is awesome, but it eventually felt kinda overlong and tedious when I started to realize how easy it is to just brute force your way through it using repetitive combos and mashing on the dodge/parry button. Boss fights, in particular, get real trivial when you realize you can hold a button and jiggle the stick to turn into fucking Neo

The vibes are generally cool at least. That is, when the complete afterthought of the story isn't getting in the way. Awfully voice acted, too. Why even include it?

Makes me want to go back and try Absolver. Maybe the key factor to really feeling like you're mastering a martial art in a game is the human element?

I think Blizzard's attempt to turn Overwatch into a Serious Game for Serious Gamers has really dulled the initial appeal and cultivated a fairly shitty playerbase, but I still find myself having fun

Maybe I feel this way because I just flat out refuse to touch ranked with a 50 foot pole? No idea, and I don't care enough to check.